by Toby Aden
“Shh, shh. It’s all over, Will. He can’t hurt you anymore.”
“I know that,” Will snapped. Then he softened his voice. “I just didn’t feel good anymore and was just faking it. After a while, I got so used to faking it that…I don’t know…I felt like I lost a part of myself that night.”
After those words, neither of them said anything else. The room was deathly still and quiet until Gregory finally asked, “Have you ever thought of talking to someone? Professionally I mean.”
Will shot a surprised look at his mate, cocking his head to the side. “Not really, no, and besides, what good will it do, rehashing it over and over again?”
“You’d be surprised, Will,” Gregory said then pulled Will up to look at him. “I want you to see someone. Listen to me. I know you might feel like it would not help at all, but, Will, the pack has a therapist who helped a lot of us through the war. Helped a lot of people come to terms with what happened, and I think it would be good for you to see him.”
Will bit his bottom lip, uncertainty in his gaze. “I don’t know. I don’t really…it’s hard for me to even tell you this much, Greg. How do I ever tell a complete stranger about my past, talk about it?” Will shook his head, turning his face away from Gregory.
Gregory used his thumb and forefinger to redirect Will to him, holding Will’s face in the curve of his fingers. “I know this is hard, Will, but I promise, if you don’t feel comfortable at all, we’ll stop. I just…I want you to get better, Will. You’re so brave and strong…” Gregory nodded. “Don’t shake your head. You are. So brave, Will, the strongest person I know. There are not a lot of people who would still retain the goodness and kindness I see in you after going through all you’ve been through.” He placed a kiss on Will’s cheek then leaned back. “Please. Will you see the doctor? I promise one word from you that it’s actually doing more harm than good and I’ll ensure you never see him again. What do you say?”
* * * *
Will licked dry lips, his eyes darting from one of Gregory’s to the other, searching, tentative, and then he finally nodded after a while when Gregory was beginning to think that Will would refuse.
“I’ll see the doctor.”
Gregory nodded, having not realized he’d literally been holding his breath. He finally let it out in a sigh, smiling widely at his mate and pecking him on the mouth, cheek, eyelids, nose, then back to Will’s mouth.
“Thank you.”
Epilogue
Six months later
“I’m ready.”
Gregory stared at his mate in confusion. “Ready?”
Will nodded. “To pick out a surrogate.”
“Will…”
“I already discussed it with Dr. Valentine. He said it should not be an issue as long as I continue to keep up my appointments and as long as I honestly want it for the right reasons,” Will inserted before Gregory could voice out a protest.
The first time Will had stepped into the therapist’s office, he’d been fidgety, reluctant to say a word until the doctor had asked Gregory to step outside. The man had been welcoming and made himself approachable and non-threatening, but Will had been unable to calm his nerves or even open up. It had taken a few appointments and just shooting the breeze until Will had been comfortable enough before the doctor had even asked a single question relating to his mental health.
The journey had not been an easy one by any means. There were some days Will came out of the house rushing into Gregory’s arms, his eyes red as he cried. There were other days Will was withdrawn and reluctant to say a single word, as though he was not really present at all, and Gregory had to do his best to take care of his mate.
There were other times Will voiced his guilt and doubt as to why Gregory kept putting up with him, but there were also good days. Days the smile on Will’s face split wide open and reached his eyes. Days he was bursting with excitement and pure joy so contagious that Gregory had to share in it, and through it all, Gregory held him together, continued to profess his love for Will, and never allowed himself to be pushed away.
“Will, don’t get me wrong. I want a pup of our own but…it’s only been six months. Let’s give it more time.”
Will shook his head. “I don’t want to wait any more, Greg. For the first time in my life, I can honestly say I want this. I really, really want this. Not because you need an heir and not because I want you to have that but because I deserve to have everything I want also. I want a little boy with your hair and your eyes running around the compound, and I want a little girl who makes my heart melt with her smiles. I want us to have that, and I’m really, really not rushing into this. I’ve thought about it. I’ll keep my appointments with Dr. Valentine and continue to have therapy, but this is something I also want.”
“And are you really, really sure about this?”
“A hundred and ten percent,” Will said, holding his breath.
Gregory was silent for a while before he finally nodded. “All right. We will get a surrogate.”
Will whooped, jumping and laughing and bouncing toward Gregory with excitement and glee. He wrapped his arms around Gregory’s neck and began peppering kisses all over the man’s jaw and cheek and nose. “Yes! Yes! Thank you! Thank you!”
Gregory laughed, spanning his hand around Will’s waist and pulling him into the curve of his body. He lifted Will off his feet and swirled the man around, glad to see the carefree expression on Will’s face even after all he’d been through. He was glad that Will had agreed to see someone to talk to. To live with so much guilt and be crippled by it for all of his life must have been extremely hard for Will.
Being on the run for so long had further compounded the issues, not to mention being kidnapped and in the hands of a madman. Will was the strongest person he had ever known, and it hurt him to realize everything the man had been feeling all this while, yet he was grateful that Will had not let it dominate everything about his life and had come a long way since setting up a meeting to talk to Dr. Valentine, the pack therapist and counselor.
“I’m so glad to see you this excited, baby. To see you like this despite everything that happened,” Gregory said, peering into Will’s eyes.
* * * *
Will allowed himself to smile. “I feel free and happy. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think just a few months of therapy has cured everything that’s been bothering me for twenty-two years, but I’m getting there. I feel like a heavy weight has lifted from my chest and I can finally breathe easier. I will always feel sad that my parents died so early and even guilty at times, but I know now that it was not my fault. They would not want me beating myself up like this. They would want me to enjoy life and take every moment as it comes to me, and I intend to do that. Take my life back into my own hands.”
Gregory placed a gentle kiss onto Will’s lips. “I love you more than life itself, Will.”
“I love you more, Greg,” Will said and with a blinding smile on his face, leaned in to drop several quick kisses on Gregory’s lips, contentment shining in his eyes when he leaned back to peer at his mate. “I already did, but I didn’t want to say anything until I was a hundred and ten percent sure of my feelings and was in the right place.” He kissed Gregory then drew back. “I’m finally there, somewhat, and I know with all my heart I could not have done it without you.”
Gregory shook his head. “Yes you could, Will. You’re the strongest person I know, but I’m glad I was along for the ride.”
Will nodded. “Love you, Greg. With all my heart.”
And he did. He so did.
THE END
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