He stood facing the stove, his arms down by his side. He was clenching and unclenching his gloved fists. She watched him for long minutes before crossing the room. She hesitated when she reached him but sucked in a calming breath and stepped around him. His eyes were closed, small lines bracketing them and causing the scar to pucker more. She pondered his odd behavior. Had he changed his mind? Was he reconsidering the payment?
The strain on his face never lifted. She reached up and laid her palm to his chest. He flinched as if she'd shot him, his eyes snapping open to stare at her. "Have you changed your mind, Mr. Lloyd?"
His jaw clenched, his gaze boring into her as his face once again reddened. "What exactly are you offering me as payment, Mrs. Hilam?"
It was her turn to blush. "Well, myself…" The words came out as a strained croak. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Anything you'd like, Mr. Lloyd. There's not much I haven't already had to do, so nothing you ask for will shock me."
* * * *
The moment the words were out of her mouth, all the blood in Noah's body drained into his lower extremities. His heart pounded, and even though the woman was bone thin and dirty, he pictured her naked, her limbs long and silky smooth as they wrapped around his hips. Her full pink lips on his skin, her body warm and wet and welcoming.
He sucked in a breath and willed his growing erection away as his neck and face heated, embarrassment burning until he couldn't breathe past it. Her hand still rested on his chest and he backed up to break the contact. "There's been some confusion, Mrs. Hilam. I don't want you in my bed."
Relief washed over her face, the strained lines bracketing her mouth vanishing quickly before another emotion all together flashed across her features. The scared, timid glint in her eyes changed in an instant, her blue eyes filling with hurt and embarrassment. She looked away, her head lowering a fraction. "I'm sorry. I assumed…" Her cheeks turned red, misery clouding her eyes again as she reached up to grab the high collar of her dress as if to hold the garment closed. "I'm afraid I misunderstood you. Others always wanted…" Her eyes closed briefly before she shook her head.
She didn't have to say what the others wanted from her and Noah was glad she didn't speak it aloud. He stared at her, visions of her climbing into someone's bed just so she could feed her children sickened him and his earlier thoughts of her naked and wanting him caused his stomach to churn, acid boiling inside his gut until he thought he'd be sick. Of course she didn't want him. Why would she?
His gaze swept her small frame again and he knew he shouldn't have brought her to the house. The townsfolk would talk when they found out. And they would find out. Nothing was a secret for long in Willow Creek. Once they knew, the rumors would fly unchecked. The homeless widow taking up with the town monster. He cringed just thinking about what they'd all say.
He pushed the thought out of his head, cleared his throat and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I only meant for you to do the cooking while you're here," he said, steering the conversation back to neutral ground. "It isn't necessary but if you wish to repay me, something other than beans and venison stew would be nice."
Her cheeks were still red but she lifted her gaze, met his own and nodded her head. "Is there anything in particular you'd like?"
The vision of her naked filled his mind again and he shook his head to dispel it. "No. Anything you'd like to cook is fine." She nodded her head and glanced around the small kitchen. He looked as well.
"Your provisions are enough to feed a small army, Mr. Lloyd."
"I don't like going to town," he said, taking in the shelves and bins of food he'd stockpiled. "I've enough to last all winter." He faced her again and inhaled a large breath. "There's stew there on the stove behind you. Bowls on the shelf over the sink. I'll go rig up that blanket around the bed while you feed those kids." He walked away but stopped when he reached the doorway. "There's hot water in the reservoir on the stove if you'd like to clean up." She nodded and he walked back into the main room. The kids talked quietly as they sat by the fire but looked up at him when he crossed the room. He ignored them, reached into the chest at the foot of the bed and dug out a few more blankets.
The woman called the kids, all three of them disappearing into the kitchen and Noah let out the pent up breath he'd been holding. What the hell was he doing? He avoided people as if they had the plague, didn't offer to speak to anyone he encountered, and tried his best to not be seen. So why did he invite this woman and her kids into his home? What had he been thinking?
The wind rattled the window and he glanced out at the darkening sky. He didn't know how long the storm would last but the moment the roads were passable, he'd take them into town and forget he'd ever seen them. They could be someone else's problem.
Soft laughter drifted into the room from the kitchen. He looked toward the doorway, imagining them around his small table and for some unexplainable reason, his heart gave a mighty thump at the noise. For the first time since moving to Willow Creek, his small cabin wasn't quiet. He barely heard the ticking of the clock on the mantel or the wood in the fireplace popping as it burnt. Childish giggles filled the air and he was loath to admit how nice it sounded.
A lifetime of regrets conjured images of a life he barely remembered living, his future changed in one tragic moment that still haunted him. He shook his head to clear the images and looked to the ceiling, wondering how he would secure the blankets, and ignored those gleeful sounds filling his home.
Chapter Five
It was the first time she'd been full in months. Watching Aaron and Sophie eat, hearing them laugh and knowing they'd be warm when they drifted off to sleep caused the back of Keri's eyes to burn, her throat to clog and ache as tears threatened to fall. She pushed them away. She had no reason for useless emotions now. Not tonight. They were fed, warm, and for the first time since running from their previous nightmare, she felt safe.
Noah Lloyd was anything but friendly. His manner was gruff, his eyes hard and distrusting, but she knew they'd be okay here. After her embarrassing mistake in thinking he wanted her in his bed as payment, she could barely fathom the thought of looking him in the eye again. She wasn't sure who was more mortified by the proposition, him or her.
She pushed the thought away, glanced back down at Aaron and Sophie and smiled as they blinked sleepily at their bowls. Their bellies were full and both of them looked ready to fall asleep where they sat.
Grabbing a large bowl from the shelf above the sink, she filled it with warm water from the stove reservoir, found a washcloth and took her time cleaning the kids as thoroughly as she could without dunking them in a tub of water. She cleaned her own face, unbuttoned her shirtwaist and wiped off as much sweat and grime as she could and felt almost clean by the time she was finished.
Pouring out the water, she ushered Aaron and Sophie back into the main room. Blankets surrounded the bed. Noah Lloyd's shadow could be seen behind them but it was still enough privacy she didn't feel as if she was intruding too much. When he stepped around the blankets and saw them, he stopped, stared at her until she felt uncomfortable again, and cleared his throat, then crossed the room to the fireplace.
"The blankets should hold," he said, nodding toward the small bit of privacy in the room. "You and the children can take the bed."
"That isn't necessary," Keri said. "We're intruding enough as it is without taking your bed. Sleeping in front of the fire is quite fine."
His eyes narrowed as he shook his head. "It's not fine with me. Take the bed." His gruff command seemed to be his final word. He turned his back to them, sitting down in the rocker by the fire and started to remove his boots, effectively putting the argument to rest.
Keri stared at the back of his head for long moments, then guided Aaron and Sophie toward the bed, pulling the blankets aside, and stepping behind them. There were two long sleeve shirts and a long sleep shirt lying on the coverlet. For all his hateful ways, Noah Lloyd did have a bit of compassion in him. Keri smiled while
looking at the garments. The thought of putting on something clean caused a shiver to race up her spine. She'd been wearing the same dress for months now.
Undressing Aaron and Sophie, she covered them with Mr. Lloyd's shirts, rolling up the sleeves so they fit somewhat better. She pulled down the blankets, listened as Aaron and Sophie giggled as they crawled onto the mattress and waited until they'd settled before turning her back to them and removing her dress.
The sleep shirt Noah laid out for her felt smooth against her skin when she slipped it on. It fell nearly to her feet. Lifting her arm, she inhaled the scent of soap on the sleeve of the shirt and smiled. Clean clothing seemed like such a luxury now after living in the same garments for so long.
She looked toward the blankets hung for privacy, her thoughts on the gruff man who had taken them in. A few cooked meals seemed like such a small thing for what he was doing for them. He'd invited them into his home, fed them, and given up his bed.
The wind still whistled past the small cabin and as Keri listened to the wall boards pop and crack around her, she knew he'd done more than filled their bellies and given them a warm place to sleep. He'd probably saved their life. Another night in that cold, drafty shack would have been the end of them. No, a few cooked meals would never be enough to repay him but if that’s what he wanted in return, she’d feed him like he was one of her own.
* * * *
The morning air was biting cold. Noah pulled up the collar of his coat, ducked his head and slogged through the snow to the barn, guided by the rope he'd tied to the door from the cabin.
Once inside, the animals stirred. The cow shifted in her stall, her neck stretching as she eyed him. He grabbed the bucket and stool, entered her pen and ran his hand over her head before setting the stool down to milk her. He was reaching under her when the barn door creaked open. Lifting his head, he tried to see over the railing, wondering if the wind had caught the door or if the woman had followed him out. She was still behind the curtain when he left the cabin and he couldn't think of one reason why she'd follow him.
Shaking his head when he heard nothing else, he went back to milking the cow, his thoughts on the woman. Images of her from the night before flashed inside his mind's eye. He saw her shadowy figure behind those blankets as she'd undressed, each curve and dip visible until he was sure he could sketch her without looking. Skinny as she was, her hips flared enticingly, the curve of her breasts high. It took everything in him to turn away, to settle in that old rocker knowing she was in his bed. He'd been so unsettled by the thought, he'd had half a mind of getting up and sleeping in the hay loft. If it hadn't been so cold, he would have.
He blinked the images away when the shuffle of feet caught his attention. He whipped his head to the left, startled to see the boy standing there watching him. His neck and face burned when he realized he'd been having such thoughts about the woman while her young son was but inches away. "What do you want?" he asked, his voice harsh.
The boy seemed unfazed by his tone. "Came to help."
Noah raised an eyebrow. "Help do what?"
The kid shrugged. "Whatever you need me to do." He walked fully into the stall and leaned back against the rail. "Uncle Robert used to make me and Sophie Ann milk the cow every morning." The kid swiped a hand across his nose. "He'd make us clean up after the horses too and gather up all the eggs."
"Yeah, well, I don't need your help." Noah's voice held every ounce of irritation he felt. He turned back to the cow and continued milking her, knowing the peace and quiet he found in the barn was lost as long as the kid hang around.
He hadn't had a moment’s peace since finding them in the line shack, his thoughts a constant jumble of worries for that skinny woman and her kids. If he wouldn't have to walk the entire way, he'd load them up and take them into town before the sun set. Hopefully the snow would stop falling soon. If it kept up much longer, he'd be stuck with them for the rest of the week.
It was times like this he wished he had a sled or another horse. He avoided people for a reason and seeing the kid out of the corner of his eye, he knew even this refuge was now gone. He should have never brought them back to the house.
Glancing back over at him, Noah heaved a breath. "Why are you still here?"
The boy actually smiled at him. "My ma said you was as grumpy as a bee-stung mule."
Noah narrowed his eyes. "She's right. I am. Now, go away." He didn't think the kid was going to listen but he eventually turned and left. When silence filled the barn again, he shook his head.
The woman thought he was grumpy, did she? He snorted a laugh. Grumpy was an understatement to how he felt most days. It was only bearable because he didn't have to see anyone. That changed the instant he let his conscience convince him that he needed to play the hero and rescue that waif of a woman and her gangly kids.
He scowled in disgust at his actions and finished milking the cow and stood, replacing the stool to the corner and setting the milk bucket aside. He fed the horse, made his way to the chicken coop and gathered up what eggs the hens had laid and returned to the barn, staring at nothing in particular, wondering what he was to do with himself now.
On any other day, he would have gone inside, fixed his breakfast and spent the morning with his drawings or reading until lunch. Those options were now gone with his unwanted houseguests taking up residence. He repositioned his hat. Grabbing the milk bucket and the eggs, he turned to the barn door. It opened before he reached it, the kid sticking his head back inside.
"My ma wanted me to tell you that your breakfast is ready."
The kid smiled and ducked back out of the barn, the door swinging as the wind caught it and smacked it against the frame a few times. Noah shook his head and crossed the rest of the barn, stepping outside and securing the door before venturing toward the house.
Wood smoke curled from the chimney and the smell of cooked meat filled the air as he reached the door. He hesitated a few moments, standing there in the cold as snow drifted along the collar of his coat. He could hear nothing from inside and stood there long enough his ears started burning from the cold.
He sighed. He was stalling. Purposely not wanting to go inside. Not wanting to face the woman again. He closed his eyes, turned his head left, then right, trying to get the kink out of his neck before opening his eyes. He couldn't avoid the house all day, every day. He had to face them eventually, converse with them on occasion. He might as well get it over with.
Reaching for the door, he opened it and walked inside.
* * * *
Keri set Sophie and Aaron's plates down in front of them as they nestled in close to the fireplace. She handed them each a spoon as the door to the cabin opened. She stood and looked toward Noah as he came inside. He set the things in his hands down, removed his coat and hat, and bent to retrieve the bucket and basket by his feet and walked into the kitchen without a word. "You two eat quietly," she said, glancing at Aaron and Sophie before turning away.
She followed Noah into the kitchen and hesitated near the doorway. He was at the sink, his back to her. Entering the room fully, Keri approached the table, picked up an empty plate, and started filling it. Placing the plate at one of the empty chairs at the table, Keri glanced over her shoulder. Noah was staring at her. She averted her gaze and moved away from the table, picking up the remaining plate and serving herself.
Waking that morning dry and warm had left her a bit disoriented. She'd slept the entire night through, not waking once. She'd puzzled over the fact when she woke, listening to Noah move about the room before the sound of the door opening, and a cold blast of air, filtered in behind the blankets he'd hung for their privacy. She'd crawled from bed, dressed in the same grubby clothes she'd been wearing for nearly two months now and entered the kitchen, took stock of what sort of foodstuff he had, and planned a menu for breakfast.
She'd be embarrassed to admit she'd cooked with her own selfish wants foremost in her mind. She hadn't eaten decent food in so long, her mo
uth practically watered as she took stock of all the choices before her. Eggs with onions and bacon, biscuits and gravy and fresh butter from the larder had her mouth watering the entire time she cooked. Now, as she watched Noah take a seat and look at the fare she'd fixed, she wondered if she should have thought more of what he would have liked, not herself.
He started eating without a word and Keri finished filling her own plate. The small table in the kitchen only held two chairs, which was why she'd seated Aaron and Sophie in the other room, but now as she stared at that remaining chair, she wondered if Noah would want her company.
They'd not spoken to each other more than they needed to and from the looks of him, he didn't seem like the sort to want a dining companion. He glanced up as if he'd heard her thoughts. His eyes were still cold, unfriendly, and she lowered her gaze.
No, he definitely didn't want her company. She skirted around him and walked back into the main room to eat by the fire.
Chapter Six
Noah dropped his fork, listening to it clank against his plate as he stared at the wall in front of him. He ground his back teeth together, anger swelling so thick inside him he nearly choked. He heard the soft whispers coming from the other room and it took everything in him not to go in there and…
And what? Force her to sit with him? Make her take the only remaining chair at the table and talk to him?
He sighed and tried to run a hand through his hair, his fingers snagging on the tangled strands. He realized how absurd his thoughts were. There wasn't a reason for the woman to want to join him. Why would she? He'd been nothing but surly since clapping eyes on the trio. He'd thrown scowls in their direction every time one of them caught his eye, thought endlessly of ways to make the trip into town despite the snow and had actually contemplated sleeping in the barn.
Willow Creek Christmas Page 4
