Poll Dancer

by Laura Heffernan

  Daniel directed me to the chair facing his desk and offered me coffee. Too much caffeine made me jittery, and I was nervous enough, so I declined. He settled into his seat without making his own cup. “So Lana tells me you want to run for our vacant seat. Can I ask why?”

  “I don’t like Curtis Baker.”

  He laughed, a loud, booming sound that put me at ease. Politics didn’t have to be scary and stiff and formal. “Direct and to the point. I like that. If you’re running for office, you may need to learn to be less candid.”

  “Do I have to pretend to like him?”

  “No. I can’t say that you do.”

  “Then we’ll be fine.” I explained what happened Friday night and how that fed into my decision to run. “Originally I just wanted to help his opponent, but Lana said there’s no one running.”

  Daniel listened without comment, taking the occasional note on a legal pad in front of him. “That’s unfortunately true. This has been a red district for a long time. I’ve been trying to find a new candidate for ages. Almost had someone lined up, but he fell through. And I thought there would be more time.”

  “Yeah, I read about that. I can’t believe Senator Baker just up and walked out.” No point mentioning that I found the article roughly three hours ago, rather than when it happened. “Well, Former Senator, I guess.”

  “I hate that you got caught up in all this. Baker Senior’s move is why Curtis is pushing the family values thing so much. I doubt he believes half of it, but his mom was devastated when his father left her for a much younger woman. It’s such a cliché. Curtis is trying to repair the family name.”

  “What about you? You’re smart, you’re employed by the party so you must be dedicated, you’ve got experience with politics. Why don’t you run?”

  “Unfortunately, I don’t live in the district,” he said. “The open seat covers the area from Saratoga Springs, where you have your studio, north toward some of the more rural areas, and east. I live further south, closer to Albany.”

  “That sucks. Want to move?”

  He snorted. “Thanks, but no. I like my job. I’m good at helping things run smoothly behind the scenes. Running for office isn’t for me.”

  Too bad. In the last major election, people went on and on about “not liking” one candidate or the other. I’d met Daniel less than twenty-four hours ago, and I already liked him way more than Curtis. Of course, the bar was low.

  “So, that’s it? I can run?”

  “Do you have any relevant political experience? Anything that would help us show you’re the right person for the job?”

  “I’m friendly, I’m hard-working, I’m driven. Isn’t the beauty of the American system that anyone can pull themselves up by their strappy high-heels and become someone?”

  “Let’s hold off before making that our campaign slogan.” He smiled at me, and I wondered if he was remembering the heels I wore when we met. “But you have a point. Go on.”

  “I’m good with people. That’s what makes me a great teacher. I explain things in a way that makes sense, which should help when talking about the issues.” I took a deep breath. “And if all that’s not enough, this might be a good time to mention that I have a bachelor’s degree in Political Science.”

  He raised his eyebrows at me. “Oh, yeah? What happened?”

  I shrugged. “I needed a job. I got really into pole in college. I mean—pole fitness, not polls like elections.”

  Daniel chuckled. “Right. Go on.”

  “When an instructor job opened up, teaching seemed more fun than putting on a suit every day. Is that enough? It sounds like I’m your only option.”

  “You are, actually. But I’m not sure it’s that easy,” Daniel said.

  My hopes deflated a bit. “Why not?”

  “I’m not sure how to put this delicately.” He cleared his throat. “Please don’t take this the wrong way. I like you, Mel. You seem intelligent, you know how to go after what you want, and you’re passionate.”

  “Why do I feel a ‘but’ coming on?” Leaning back, I crossed my arms over my chest and braced for the impact of whatever he said next.

  “Because you’re also perceptive.” Our eyes met, and for a heartbeat, I got the feeling Daniel wished we’d met anywhere else. Maybe that was my own wishful thinking. “People think Saratoga Springs is liberal because we’ve got the women’s college, the fancy coffee houses, the row of shops.”

  “Don’t forget the indie bookstore.”

  “Never.” He paused, and his face grew serious. “But the area as a whole tends to be pretty conservative. We’ve got old money here, the horse racing, the history—and that tends to make people predisposed to buy into Curtis’s whole ‘Make Saratoga Moral Again’ thing.”

  “Please tell me that’s not actually his slogan.”

  He shrugged. “At the moment, he doesn’t need a slogan. With no one else on the ballot, the only vote he needs to win is his. Presumably, his mother and partner will also vote for him, so it’ll be 3-0.”

  “Hold on,” I said. “The Republican family values candidate is gay?”

  Daniel grimaced. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. It’s not common knowledge, but I’ve known Curtis since college, when he didn’t feel the need to hide. Please don’t say anything.”

  “I wouldn’t out him. That’s not me. But I don’t want him legislating my life. He wants to pass laws stopping pole,” I said. “Not only in Saratoga, but statewide. He thinks he can use his connections to take away people’s livelihoods, all in the name of morality.”

  “He said that?”

  “He did,” I said.

  Daniel sighed. “That does present a problem. If he wins, his party will have a majority. As much as it’s obviously a terrible law, and likely unconstitutional, he may be able to convince people to vote for it out of misplaced loyalty. It takes time to get garbage laws overturned by the courts, and the people who pass them know it.”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of. He’s already shut me down, and made my boss cancel a bunch of classes,” I said. “I can’t let him go after anyone else. What he’s doing is wrong.”

  “You’re right,” Daniel said finally.

  “Will you help me beat him?”

  “I want to say yes. Very badly.”

  “So say it. What’s stopping you?”

  He hesitated. “I hate to say it, but the problem, Ms. Martin, is you. More specifically, what you do for a living.”

  “Oh.” That spark between us must’ve been my imagination. Daniel didn’t want my help for the same reason Curtis came after me. I swallowed back a wave of disappointment. I shouldn’t have come here. What a stupid idea “So that’s it then? I’m wasting my time?”

  “I’m not saying that. The party would love to win this seat back. They’d be thrilled with me if I managed to find a winning candidate. But we do need to take care in how we present you to the public. New York is a liberal state overall, but this district extends up into more conservative areas. Maybe your job wouldn’t matter in the City. It matters here.”

  “Why? Melania Trump used to do nude modeling, and no one cared.” It barely even came up during the election, probably because there were a couple dozen other reasons not to vote for her husband.

  Daniel said, “Trump was already well-known. He had fans. But frankly, there’s always been a double standard with Republicans excusing behavior in their own that they won’t tolerate in a Democrat.”

  Argh. He was right. I couldn’t court the homophobic vote, even if I wanted to. And I knew for a fact the towns north of us were more conservative than mine: Last time I checked, not a single pole fitness studio could be found in that part of the state—or, really, anywhere between Saratoga County and the Canadian border.

  The impact of Daniel’s words nauseated me: I could be out of the race before I even started, just because I took pride in my body. But still, I was proud of who I was a
nd what I’d accomplished in life. Curtis couldn’t take that away from me.

  “I can do this. I can run, and I can win.” Steel entered my spine, and I glared at him without blinking. “Without changing who I am.”

  “I’m not asking you to,” Daniel said. “You’ve got a fire that we could use in the legislature. It’s a constant battle to move our agenda with the other side stopping us at every turn. I love your passion. But you will have to make some changes.”

  Changes? For a moment, I wonder if I’d made a mistake in coming here. The whole point of stopping Curtis was to avoid having to change. “What did you have in mind?”

  “To start, don’t post any more videos,” he said, “at least not until this is over.”

  “Deal. My bum still hurts from the last one.”

  “We’re going to need to figure out how to deal with your occupation, convince the voters that it’s not a bad thing.” He glanced down at my glittery shoes and leggings. “Do you have a professional wardrobe?”

  My gaze followed his, and my cheeks burned. I probably should’ve made more of an effort to look like a senator (or at least a candidate) before coming here. “No, I’m afraid not.”

  “That gives us a starting point,” Daniel said. “First, we’ll get you an image consultant. Someone who can teach you things like how to talk to the press. Help you pick out a conservative wardrobe for events, things like that.”

  “That sounds expensive,” I said slowly. “I want to do this, but I don’t have a lot of money. If I’m buying business clothes and stuff, that’s fine. I’ll use them. But what does an image consultant cost?”

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  “I have to worry about it. I’m an out-of-work pole fitness instructor with an injunction against getting a new job.”

  “Sorry, that’s not what I meant,” Daniel said. “The party really wants this seat back. There are some important bills coming up in the next few months, and one vote could make the difference. We’ve been raising money for months, grooming a candidate to go against Baker. Our pick had to drop out, but we’ve still got some money available to throw behind you.”

  “In that case, I’m in,” I said. “Just tell me what you need me to do—my schedule is completely clear.”

  “Excellent! Let’s take things one day at a time. I’ll have an image consultant contact you. I know the perfect person. She used to work in the First Lady’s press office. She has a brilliant political mind and a degree in public relations, plus extensive experience in D.C. before she moved to the area.”

  “You can’t do it?” I felt a connection with Daniel. Maybe it was because he was friends with Lana, but my gut told me to trust him. I wasn’t sure how I felt about getting handed off to a stranger.

  “I’m afraid women’s fashion is a bit outside my expertise, but I’ll help as I can. Really, Erica is exactly who we need. We’ll be lucky to have her, especially on such short notice.”

  “Okay, fine.”

  “Great! I’ll check in with Erica, and one of us will call you tonight.” He paused, tenting his fingers over his face for a moment. Then he met my eyes squarely. “Are you seeing anyone?”

  Oh, how I wished he’d asked that question last night. The only possible response I could give hurt. “I’m flattered, and you’re very much my type, but do you really think it’s a good idea for us to get involved right now?”

  He blushed and looked away, which made my heart flutter unexpectedly. “Oh, no. No. That’s not why I’m asking.”

  Right. That moment in the parking lot, when I’d thought something passed between us, most have been my imagination. I looked down, praying the floor would swallow me.

  “You don’t have to sound quite so grossed out.”

  He cleared his throat. “Let me back up. As soon as we announce your candidacy, Curtis is going to come out swinging. He’s going to be looking for ways to discredit you, to bring you down. The obvious first attack will come at your profession. We’ll deal with that. He’ll also attack your chastity. Are you still seeing the man from the video?”

  A rather un-senator-like snort escaped me. “Thankfully, no. We broke up a few months ago. There hasn’t been anyone serious since.”

  “But you do date?” When I hesitated, he continued, “How many dating apps are on your phone?”

  “One or two, I think.” Six. At least six.

  “Delete them. Not just the apps, but take down your profiles, delete all the pictures, and close the accounts. We can’t have the media talking about your dating history instead of the issues.”

  That made sense. I’d be facing enough scrutiny in the coming months. The last thing I wanted was one of my disastrous first dates showing up on the front page of some local paper. “I’ll do it as soon as I got home.”

  “Do it now.” He held out one hand. “Or unlock your phone, and I’ll do it.”

  “That’s not necessary,” I snapped.

  Pulling out my phone, I made a big show of unlocking it. Daniel came around the desk to watch as I removed all of my information from each service, closed my accounts, and then deleted the apps. “Should I scrub my phone entirely? Reinstall everything from the backup.”

  “No, that’s okay.” He sighed. “Honestly, I wish you were in a long-term relationship. It would help to have someone accompany you to events.”

  “Can’t I bring my mom, like Kevin Spacey and the Oscars?”

  “Since Kevin Spacey turned out to be a sexual predator, let’s avoid that comparison as much as possible.”

  Right. My face grew warm. “What about Curtis? Does he need a date for events? I can’t imagine that he brings his partner to events if their relationship is a big secret.”

  Daniel chuckled. “Curtis generally brings his mother. For the same reason as Kevin Spacey, minus the allegations.”

  “Great. You may have to be my plus one, after all.”

  “No, you’re right. That’s not a good idea,” he said. “Do you have anyone you could ask? An old friend? I hesitate to suggest a colleague, but maybe a friend of a friend could do it.”

  “I can bring Lana. She may not be a date, but she’ll fit in. And she can help me navigate when things get rocky.”

  “Wonderful.” A slow smile spread across his face. Finally, he stood and extended one hand. His palm felt warm in mine. “Challenge accepted.”

  “So, what’s the next step?” I asked.

  “I’ll file the paperwork first thing Monday morning, then notify the press. I’ll spend the rest of the weekend looking for a campaign headquarters and let you know when I find it. Then I’ll start calling for volunteers and donors. Normally I don’t manage campaigns myself, but we don’t have a lot of time here. State law calls for a special election to be held within seventy to eighty days after the announcement, and Tiberius resigned two weeks ago.”

  Even knowing this was a special election, it hadn’t occurred to me that things would happen so fast. My fate would be determined in less than three months.

  “You okay? Suddenly you look a little green.”

  “Yeah, I’m good.” The words gave me confidence. Absolutely, I could do this.

  CHAPTER 6

  Embrace: This one hurts until you get used to it. Practice your elbow grip, because you’re basically just hugging the pole with your elbows while hanging in mid-air.

  - Push and Pole Fitness Tutorials, Vol. 2

  Seconds after I got home, a message popped up on my phone from Lana. Don’t leave me hanging here. How did it go?

  Since texting the entire conversation would take forever, I tapped the button for video chat. A moment later, Lana’s smiling round face and button nose filled the screen. She wore the glasses I rarely saw, meaning she didn’t intend to leave home at all today. Probably putting in another ten hours of work from home at her thankless job. Lana’s law firm paid well, but from what I saw, ranked low in employee satisfaction. My friend didn’t complai
n much, but the shadows under her brown eyes spoke volumes. You didn’t spend a dozen years as BFFs without knowing when someone was miserable at work.

  “That good? You didn’t want to message me?” She studied my drawn expression. “Or that bad?”

  “Okay, first—you failed to mention that Daniel is utterly delicious.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “Is he? He’s kind of buff for my tastes. And way too tall.”

  “Too tall? Too muscular? Why are we even friends?” Lana stood at barely five feet in slippers. Even when she wore her highest pole heels and I stood flat on the floor, she barely came up to my shoulder. Of course a guy who stood around six-foot-three wouldn’t appeal to her. Meanwhile, tall men were my catnip.

  “Because we never fight over men?” she asked. “Or possibly because I got everyone to stop calling you The Jolly Blond Giant in high school.”

  “Valid. Thanks again for that,” I said. “Bonus: I stopped bleaching my hair.”

  “My pleasure. Jerks.”

  It didn’t take long to fill her in on the substance of my meeting with Daniel. When I got to the part about teaching pole being an issue, she rolled her eyes. See? That’s what best friends were for. By the time I’d finished, smoke poured out of her ears.

  “I can’t believe the double standard! There’s no shame in being a strong, independent woman. I hope you told him to take his image consultant and shove her where the sun don’t shine.”

  Heh. “I wish. No, I got mad, too, at first.”

  “Only at first?”

  “Well, then I heard a little voice in my ear, saying things like ‘dress for the job you want.’ Do you know whose voice that was?”

  She grumbled and looked down at her nails for a minute before responding. “Oprah?”

  “You were right, you know. If I walk around in my workout clothes and show up at the debate dressed for pole, no one is going to vote for me. Yes, it’s insulting that people focus on my appearance. But Curtis isn’t going door-to-door dressed in sweatpants and a No Boundaries sweatshirt.”