"I wasn't rational." He leans his head into mine. "I was fighting with myself, Kayla. The selfish part of me wanted to keep you away from Parker and the part that cares for you wanted you to have the life you wanted, even if it was with him. I was terrified of making another mistake that would cost me someone important to me."
"I wish you would have told me then that you knew him," I offer quietly. I do wish for that. Regardless of whether Parker was bad for me or not, Ben took on the task of weaving a new path for my life on his own.
"History is a powerful thing." His legs move slightly. "I asked you about him weeks ago. You told me he was your first love."
I cringe at the reminder. If life offered a redo of memorable moments that you carry with you forever, that would be mine. I did love Parker back when my innocent need to have a love that lasted a lifetime clouded all my better judgment. Parker was always looking over my shoulder for the next best thing which typically came dressed in a short skirt and had blonde hair and big tits. I never measured up to his ideal. I was the plain, skinny, brunette who was always sitting in wait for him every time he decided to sow his oats. Youth may offer many things, but in my case, my teenage years offered nothing but difficult memories of poor choices.
"I fell in love with Parker the same day I got my driver's license." I pull his hands tighter around my body. "That should tell you something about how immature I was."
He laughs so loud it bounces against the walls and fills the room. It's a beautiful laugh. One I've rarely heard. "You were young. People don't think straight when they're young."
"I'm still too young to think straight." I reach back to run my palm over his hip. "I'm not too young to know Parker is bad for me."
"When I first knew you two had been together, we were struggling with the Noah stuff." He adjusts his body slightly, pushing his knee over my legs. "I was worried."
"About what?" My hand slides down to caress the skin of his thigh.
"That Noah would tell you about what happened with our mother and you'd run back to Parker if you knew he wanted you."
It fits. Ben was almost frantic at times before I learned of the circumstances surrounding his mother's death. "I didn't run away when I found out, Ben."
"That only made me want you so much more." His lips push into my shoulder. "You were so kind and good to me. You listened to me talk about her and Noah. You didn't give up on me."
"I wouldn't have given up on you." I mean it. The thought of walking away from Ben when he was trying to claw his way out of that emotional hell that was created after his mother died, wasn't something I ever could have done. I cared too much about him.
"I thought you had when I saw you in Parker's apartment." His breath hitches before he continues, "I thought you were moving back in with him."
"What?" I flip over so quickly he can't react. "You didn't really think that."
"I went to Boston to meet with some doctors for a project I'm working on." He stops to push a few hairs away from my forehead and out of my eyes. "I got a call from Parker saying he wanted to talk to you to tell you he loved you. I wasn't in New York. I felt so far away from you."
"You had no idea I was in Boston," I offer sullenly. He couldn't have known. I went there to surprise him with the news that Noah was ready to let him back into his life.
He shakes his head briefly. "I panicked. I imagined Parker calling you and everything changing that day."
"So you went to talk to him?"
He leans forward brushing his lips softly across mine. "I asked for his address. I wanted to do it in person so I could control things."
"You told him he could have me back once you got Noah back." I don’t say it with malice or anger. I say it because it's what I heard.
"Kayla." He runs his hand along my jawline. "I would never have let him have you."
"I heard you say it." It's been the one part of that day that has haunted me relentlessly. Hearing Ben essentially tell Parker that I was his to have back was unforgettable. It made me feel like a pair of old borrowed shoes that no longer serve their purpose so they're sent back to their owner, weathered and torn.
"I met Parker in the lobby of his building." His grip on me tightens. "The very first thing he said to me was that he bought a train ticket for New York. He was taking the ring he bought and coming to see you."
I hadn't thought there was anything to their conversation beyond what I heard when I was standing in the bedroom after they walked into the apartment. "I didn’t know that."
"We were down there for more than ten minutes. I tried to convince him over and over again not to leave Boston."
I wish I would have heard that exchange. It would have offered a lot more insight than the fragmented part of their conversation I heard. "It doesn’t change what I heard."
"I was grasping at straws at that point." His body stiffens. "I'd told him in the lobby that I needed more time with you. I told him it was because of Noah. I was worried that if I told him I was involved with you as more than friends that he'd beat a path straight to your door and tell you that I knew him."
"So what I heard when you two walked in was…"
"It was my desperate attempt to get Parker to stay put in Boston so I'd have time to confess everything to you and beg you not to leave me for him," he interrupts me in a rush.
I can't look in him in the eyes as I process it all. The words I heard him say to Parker that day had bitten right through me. They'd stolen all the promise I felt for a future with him away in a flash. "You didn’t seem very surprised to see me there."
He tilts his head back as his jaw clenches. "I was in shock. I thought that was it. I thought you'd made up your mind and that you were there to take him back."
I shudder physically at the thought. "You were so calm and you just left me there with him."
"When I saw you two together, it finally hit me." He pushes his hand into his chest. "I saw how real the pain was for you. I saw how hurt you were by both of us. I knew I had to leave you there to find your way out of it."
I should feel abandoned by that. I should feel as though Ben ran away to leave me in a cage of uncertainty with Parker, but that's not what I feel at all. "You left me there to make my own choice."
"I did." He closes his eyes briefly. "It's the hardest thing I've ever done. I knew I had to stop manipulating it all. I knew that if I lost you, that it was because it was what you needed to be happy."
Chapter 12
"I have to go." He pulls his boxer briefs on before he stumbles against the bed in his haste to get his pants back on. "Shit, Kayla. I'm sorry."
I nod. I'd watched all the color drain from his face when he answered his cell not more than two minutes ago. He'd barely responded after listening to whatever the person calling said to him. "Is it work?"
"No." He reaches over the bed to pull his shirt from where it landed when he'd stripped his clothes off after tenderly undressing me. "It's just…"
"Ben?" I'm on my knees on the bed now, the sheet lazily wrapped around my nude body. "What is it? Is it Noah or Ron?"
His eyes scan my face. "Get dressed. I need you."
I don't hesitate at all as I jump to my feet to pull my jeans and sweater back on. I push my feet into my flats quickly and before I have time to run my hand through my hair, I'm chasing him through the bedroom door.
"I need my bag." He pushes his cell phone into my palm. "Hold this for me."
I reach for the phone, tossing it into my purse as I watch him fling open the door to a closet. He rummages through it quickly, pulling out a black overnight bag. "We need to find a cab now."
He's out the apartment door before I have time to ask any questions. My eyes settle on his keys. They're still sitting atop the desk where he threw them when we first arrived hours earlier. I snatch them into my fist as I race out the door, locking it behind me before I dart into the waiting elevator.
He holds out his hand. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" I push mys
elf up to my tiptoes to graze my lips across his cheek.
"I need you so much." His hand rests on my back, nudging me closer as he settles his lips against my hair. "I really need you."
He scoops my hand into his as the elevator chimes its arrival in the lobby. I can barely keep up to his wide strides. We breeze past the doorman who takes one look at Ben before he's on the curb, whistling for a cab. He knows. The doorman has seen him like this before.
I don't say a word as Ben pushes me into the backseat of the taxi with a knowing nod to the doorman who leans in the passenger side window to give the driver an address I don’t recognize. I hold tightly to Ben's hand as his legs shake and he slaps his other hand against the seat next to him.
"If you avoided the park altogether, we'd get there faster."
The driver doesn’t acknowledge the words but judging by the quick and unexpected right turn the car takes, he gets the message loud and clear. The taxi races through the crowded streets as we sit in utter silence.
"Pay him, Kayla. Please, pay him." Ben pulls his wallet from the pocket of his pants as he opens the car door when we finally come to a screeching halt. "Meet me inside."
I pull a few bills from the wallet as I watch Ben sprint through the doors of a dark building on a tree lined street. I hand the money to the driver telling him to keep the change. I reach behind me to grab my purse. My heart is racing. Ben's disappeared inside the entrance to the building and I have no idea what awaits me when I follow him in. The only thing I do know is that I have no choice.
***
The moment I pull open the curtained glass front door I know what I'm stepping into it. Children's voices pierce through all the other noise in the building. Two youngsters race past me at break neck speed. A woman nods in my direction from where she's perched on a wooden rocking chair, an infant nestled tightly in a blanket in her arms. The faint purple hue of a lingering bruise covers the entire left side of her face.
"I'm looking for Dr. Foster," I say to her because beyond this point I have no idea which direction I need to take to find Ben.
"Dr. Ben?" A little boy with brown hair and blue eyes pops up in front of me. "I can take you to Dr. Ben."
I accept the tender, unspoken, invitation to grab his tiny hand in mine. He pulls his feet along the tile floor to a room in the corner. "Dr. Ben is in there."
The faint sound of crying greets me as I push the wooden door open. I see him. Ben's next to a stretcher where a teenage boy is resting. He's talking to a woman in Spanish. Even though I can't comprehend the words, I can hear the comfort in them. He's consoling her. She's nodding fiercely as she stares down at the child.
"Kayla." He turns when he hears the creek of the old door as I shut it. "Come."
I walk slowly to where he's standing. "I've called for an ambulance. I'm taking Peter to the hospital."
I glance down at the boy. He's awake but his face is awash with pain. He's hooked up to an IV. Ben's bag sits atop the foot of the bed. "What's wrong?" I ask, not because I'll have any grasp of the details Ben will offer, but because I can see the sheer fear in the boy's face and in the face of his mother who is clinging tightly to Ben's hand.
"It's his appendix. It needs to be removed." He taps his hand against my thigh. "I'm ride in the ambulance with him. Can you bring his mother to the hospital in a cab?"
I nod. "Your hospital?"
His eyes dart to the mother before they settle back on my face. "No. There's a community hospital a few blocks from here. We're taking him there."
The boy raises his hand to get Ben's attention and he turns towards him. I watch in silence as he speaks to the boy in Spanish, his hand caressing the young man's forehead.
Chapter 13
I can't distinguish much of what transpired between Ben and the doctor in the ER at the community hospital we just arrived at. I'd hailed a taxi as they were loading Peter into the ambulance and the driver saw the thrill in a good chase so we were on the ambulance's bumper almost the entire way here. The emergency room in this place is swelling beyond its capacity. If it's even possible, it's busier than the hospital where Ben works.
I'll never understand medical jargon and as Ben explains in Spanish what is happening to Peter's mother I stand to the side watching him trying to calm her down.
"Dr. Foster?" A woman carrying a clipboard approaches all of us from the left. "We need to talk."
He glances down at Peter's mother. His hand flies through the air towards the waiting room as he says something quickly to her. She nods in response and turns on her heel in search of a chair in the over cramped, obviously, under-funded small space.
"What is it?" He turns back towards the woman with the clipboard.
"Insurance?" She cocks a brow and dots the tip of the pencil in her hand against her tongue. "I need that for the patient you just brought in."
"No." It's curt and direct.
"No?" She parrots back. "He doesn't have any?"
"Where is Melody?" He looks past her to the reception desk where several women are trying to quell the growing line of people waiting to see a doctor. "I usually deal with Melody."
"She's left for the day." She taps her foot against the tile floor. "You need to deal with me today."
He turns towards me without notice. "Kayla, I need my wallet."
I reach into my purse and pull it out, handing it to him without question.
He opens the billfold and yanks free a credit card. "This will take care of it."
"You're paying for his surgery?" The woman stares at the credit card. "Is this even going to cover the entire cost?"
Ben's head snaps in her direction. "Use the credit card, get me a lab coat and get out of my way."
"You don't work here." She's on his heels as he walks towards the reception desk.
He turns swiftly to face her, his expression a mixture of anxiety and frustration. "I volunteer here. Melody knows that. You'll learn it."
She doesn't say a word as he turns back towards me. He walks right past her, grabs my shoulders in his hands and leans down to kiss me gently on my mouth.
"I'll be here all night, Kayla." He whispers against my cheek. "I thought we'd be able to get back into my bed so I could finish what I started, but they need me here."
I run my fingers over his chin. "Thank you for bringing me here."
"Thank you for everything," he says softly. "Go home. Sleep. I'll call you tomorrow."
***
My eyes dart to where my phone is perched atop the pillow next to mine. I reach for it, pushing my hand against the screen to wake it from its sleep. It's just past five in the morning. I'd finally fallen asleep less than an hour ago. The adrenaline high I was feeling after watching Ben race to help that boy had stolen any chance I had to get a good night's rest. My mind and my heart have been on overdrive ever since I left the hospital.
I hear the faint knock that woke me again. This time I'm certain it's not my neighbor's door that is being assaulted, it's my own. I pull a robe around my nude body before I walk into the hall. The overhead light takes a few seconds to flicker on after I hit the switch.
"Who is it?" I call through the heavy wooden door. It's not the first time this has happened. It's actually the third. A trio of middle-aged frat boy wannabes lives in the apartment above mine. Late night pizza and beer deliveries seem to be the bane of their existence. If I can get rid of the delivery person without having to open my door to subject them to the horror of my messy bed hair, my day will start on the right foot.
"Dr. Foster." His voice calls through the silence. "I'm making a house call."
I unhinge the dual locks that keep me somewhat safe from the outside world. I swing the door open quickly and pull him inside.
His lips are on mine in an instant. His kiss is a sweet mixture of peppermint gum and coffee. "You stole my keys."
I laugh into his mouth. "You gave them to me."
It hadn't even crossed my mind to fish Ben's keys from my purse before he
kissed me goodbye on the curb in front of the hospital after hailing me a taxi. I'd like to think that it was my subconscious mind wanting to hold onto more of him, but it was so late and I was beyond tired.
"You came all this way to get them?" I lean into his body, relishing in the feel of his strong arms around me.
"No. I came here to fuck you. I'll need those keys back though, although…"
I stop him with a kiss. I didn't get past the point where he said he wanted to fuck me. My sex had been aching since last night when he brought me to the edge with his mouth. We hadn't made love before the entire night shifted into a rescue mission.
"Keep the keys." He pulls back far enough that the words linger on my cheek. "I want you to have the keys."
"No." I shake my head against his. "Not yet."
"They're just keys, Kayla." His hands are on my robe, pulling it open. "You can hide them in the bottom of your purse or a drawer here. I just want you to have them."
I work on the buttons on his dress shirt. "Do you want a key to my place?"
"I want your wet cunt around my cock." His hands drop to his pants, undoing the belt and zipper quickly. "It's been so long since I've been inside of you."
"The bedroom," I whisper into his neck. "Take me to my bedroom."
He scoops me up in one easy, graceful movement as his lush lips take over my mouth.
Chapter 14
"Stop moving." He pushes against my mound with his hand. "Kayla, Christ, just stop."
I arch my back up, pulling my chest away from his. I'd ridden his beautiful, thick sheathed cock to an orgasm already. Now, I'm sitting atop his trembling body, feeling him pulse within me. "I want you to come."
"No." He drops his cheek into the sheet. "I want to feel this. I just want you to stay like this so I can be inside of you."
I push back slightly so I can feel the pressure of his crotch against my clit. "It's so good, Ben. Please just let me fuck you."
RUIN - Part Three (The RUIN Series Book 3) Page 5
