by Fiona Ford
Sitting in the Liberty staffroom during her well-earned tea break, her mind was in overdrive as she pondered yet again what Luke had done. For all the pain he had caused, she couldn’t ignore the fact that he had returned to her side. Then of course there was Arthur to consider. She had always wanted an entirely different childhood for her own family than the one she had endured. Didn’t she owe it to Arthur to give him the chance of a normal upbringing, no matter what happened between her and Luke?
Getting to her feet to wash her teacup in the little sink at the back of the room, she caught her reflection in the mirror. She seemed to have aged a hundred years. Grey shadows hung under her eyes, and wrinkles, too deep to be kindly described as laughter lines, gave her skin a leathery, worn appearance. She needed a good night’s sleep, she decided. There was to be no more tossing and turning beside Luke while he slept like the dead. No, she had made her bed and she would lie in it. She had chosen to keep this secret to herself, having decided that, for the moment, it was better for all concerned if it were swept under the carpet. Therefore she would have to forget about it – but how best to do that she wasn’t sure. At that moment an image of Jack’s smiling face came unbidden into her mind and she felt a physical pain so sharp it was as though she had been cut with a knife. She hadn’t realised how much she missed her friend until now.
The door to the staffroom opened and Flo walked in. ‘Just the woman,’ she called cheerily. ‘I’ve been looking for you.’
‘Oh?’ Alice replied listlessly, not even bothering to turn and look at her friend.
‘Yes. Mr Button wants to talk about the fashion parade.’
Alice let out a hollow laugh. Up until the other day she’d thought Mrs Claremont’s betrayal was the worst thing she had to worry about. How funny that now she could hardly bring herself to care. ‘Can you say I’m busy? I think it might stick in my craw to pretend to be interested in this when the idea was stolen from right under my nose.’
Flo shook her head, her hair bouncing on her shoulders. ‘I know it’s awful. I would have said something to Mr Button if you’d let me. He’s so pleased with her and it’s just not right. She wants hanging for this.’
‘Well, I’m hoping that if we give her enough rope that’s exactly what she’ll do,’ Alice muttered, squeezing the wet dishcloth out and leaving it out on the side to dry before finally turning to face Flo.
‘I think we’re all hoping that,’ Flo murmured before catching sight of Alice. ‘Christ, you look awful.’
‘Thanks,’ Alice muttered sarcastically.
Flo took a step towards her, her face lined with sympathy. ‘Sorry, love. Are you feeling all right?’
‘Fine. Probably just a bit tired. Arthur’s teething again.’
‘Anything I can do?’
Alice returned her friend’s smile as best she could and shook her head. She couldn’t stand anyone being nice to her at the moment; she thought it might break her. ‘Dot’s actually taken Arthur down to see her sister in Canterbury today, seeing as she’s honorary grandma. She’s staying for two nights so I’m hoping I might get a bit of rest, though it’s killing me being without him.’
‘Well, there is an upside – this means you’ll be able to come to my first show tonight. I’m terrified.’
‘I hadn’t forgotten,’ Alice lied. ‘I’ve asked Jean too.’
‘Why?’ Flo asked, unable to help herself.
‘She’s all right really, you know. Just young, for the good of Liberty’s we have to show her the error of Mrs Claremont’s ways.’
‘And we can start with this fashion parade meeting,’ Flo said firmly. ‘In Mr B.’s office at three. Besides, it won’t take a genius for him to see it was your idea not hers the moment you start talking. Mrs Claremont doesn’t know the first thing about fabrics, whereas you do.’
With that Flo rushed back to her office and Alice returned to the shop floor. Flo’s words had given her a lift. It was true, she thought, Mrs Claremont knew nothing about the world of fabrics, and, worse still, didn’t want to learn. Flo was right: it would soon become highly apparent she had stolen the idea.
As her gaze wandered over to the till, Alice’s heart skipped a beat. There was a man standing patiently behind the counter.
‘Jack,’ she said softly, hurrying across the floor towards him. ‘What are you doing here?’
Jack greeted her with an apologetic smile. ‘Sorry, Alice. I didn’t mean to disturb you at work.’
‘That’s all right. What can I do for you?’
‘Be my friend again,’ he said, looking at her pleadingly. ‘Look, I get it, your husband’s home now, and I know it’s not proper for you to spend time with me, a single man. But we formed a bond that night in Bath and I can’t just forget that – or you. I miss our friendship, and I wondered if there was any way we could be friends again? If you say no, I’ll go, of course I will, but I had to ask.’
As Alice stared into his chocolate eyes, she found herself melting. She had missed him more than she cared to admit, and now he was here standing in front of her, Alice knew she couldn’t turn him away a second time; after Chris’s revelation she needed a friend more than ever. She might be a married woman, she might have responsibilities, but if she had learned anything since the outbreak of war it was that you had to grab happiness where you could.
‘Yes, Jack,’ she said with a steely resolve, ‘we can be friends again.’
Chapter Thirty-Five
‘Where is it you’re going?’ Luke asked from the kitchen table as he watched Alice slide on her best black shoes.
‘I told you,’ Alice replied stiffly, ‘north London. Flo’s got a gig singing and she’s nervous.’
‘But I don’t see why that means you have to go out. Dot’s taken Arthur; we’ve got the place to ourselves.’
At this he shot her a lascivious wink and it was all Alice could do to keep her cheese on toast down. ‘I won’t be late,’ was all she offered instead.
‘Why don’t I come with you?’ he said suddenly, leaping to his feet. ‘You know, that way I can walk you there and walk you back.’
Alice looked at him in surprise, her coat hanging half off. ‘You would really come out to north London for the night?’
Luke gave her a wide smile. ‘For my wife I would do anything,’ he said slowly. ‘Besides, it might be fun. Let me get my shoes on.’
‘All right,’ she said, turning back to the mirror to check her appearance. She glanced at him via the reflection as he laced up his shoes and found she wasn’t altogether sure how she felt about him joining her. None of the other girls would be bringing their other halves, but then, she thought sadly, none of the other girls had husbands or boyfriends this side of the water. She should be glad that Luke was showing an interest in her life – and besides, hadn’t she decided that no matter what had happened their vows were too important to give up on, even if the “for better, for worse” part seemed particularly hard to bear right now?
‘Right, ready.’ He smiled, offering her his arm. ‘And can I just say, my love, that you look beautiful tonight?’
At the compliment Alice flushed with confusion. She was so used to demonising Luke in her head these days that the moment he was nice to her she felt wrong-footed. ‘Thank you,’ she managed eventually.
As they strolled through the streets towards the Tube, the warm summer night like a balm to Alice’s soul, she began to relax. She hoped she would start to forgive Luke in time, that the betrayal would start to hurt a bit less. Perhaps tonight was the perfect way to start to rebuild their marriage.
It didn’t take long for them to arrive. The Lamb and Flag was a traditional pub on the corner of a tree-lined street. Pushing the door open, clouds of cigarette smoke greeted Alice before she saw a handful of people clustered around the bar. Through the smoke she could just about make out Flo, dressed in a black high-necked knee-length dress and bright red court shoes. Alice grinned. With her hair pinned in face-framing loose waves, her fri
end looked gorgeous, and it was a delight to see after the sadness that had enshrouded her over the past weeks.
Alice caught Flo’s eye as she looked up from chatting to the pianist and rushed over to greet her.
‘Luke, I didn’t know you were coming,’ Flo exclaimed after wrapping Alice in a warm hug.
‘I didn’t know myself until an hour ago. You don’t mind that I’m here?’
‘No! The more people to cheer me on the better. I’m terrified.’
‘Well, you’ve no reason to be,’ Alice said, patting her hand, ‘you’ve got a lovely voice. You should be proud of yourself.’
At that Flo made a face. ‘I am, but Neil’s not. I got a letter this morning: he doesn’t want me singing in the pub.’
‘Why not?’ Alice demanded.
Flo rolled her eyes. ‘He doesn’t think it’s appropriate.’
‘I can see what he means,’ Luke said evenly. ‘I suppose he feels it’s not quite right for a married woman.’
At Luke’s statement both Alice and Flo looked daggers at him.
‘What?’ he cried, holding his hands up in defence. ‘I’m sure you’re right, Alice, Flo does have a great voice, I’m just saying I can see Neil’s point.’
‘Neil’s not here though, is he?’ Flo said bitterly. ‘And although I appreciate him fighting for our country, he doesn’t understand what life is like back home. Aggie’s just died, I’m all alone, I need something else to think about, to help me deal with the grief, and I want to honour my aunt in a way she would have been proud of.’
As Flo finished, Alice was alarmed to see tears start to well and she wrapped an arm around her friend. ‘Don’t you go upsetting yourself. You do what you think will make you happy, and you’re due on that stage in a few minutes so take a deep breath and then knock ’em dead. Don’t think about Neil right now, love.’
‘All right.’ Flo offered Alice a watery smile. ‘The others are all over at that table in the corner by the way.’
Following Flo’s gaze Alice saw Mary chatting with Jean, and on the other side Rose deep in conversation with someone who looked like her sister. Alice bristled with anger; what on earth was Joy doing here?
‘Before you start I think Rose brought her along hoping you two would make up,’ Flo said in hushed tones. ‘Give it a try, eh? For me?’
She felt Luke place a comforting hand on her shoulder. ‘Yes, go on, love. I’m not Joy’s biggest fan, but she is your sister. It’s not right the two of you aren’t talking. Perhaps she’s learned her lesson.’
Alice bit back the urge to scream. She felt as if too much was being asked of her at the moment. However, this was Flo’s night, not hers, and she wanted to support her friend.
‘I’ll do what I can,’ she said, her tone clipped.
‘That’s all I can ask,’ Flo replied kindly as she turned back to the piano player.
With Luke by her side, Alice weaved her way through the tables and waved at her friends in greeting.
‘Alice, you made it.’ Mary beamed. ‘And you brought Luke. Hello, sir.’
‘Hello. Girls, what can I get you?’
As everyone started to give Luke their drink orders, Alice glanced at her sister. She seemed to have lost a little weight, judging by the way the cardigan hung limply from her shoulders, but other than that she looked fine. Tired, perhaps.
‘I didn’t know you would be here when Rose invited me,’ Joy said sulkily, stubbing out her cigarette in the ashtray on the table.
‘I only just found out myself you would be here,’ Alice replied smoothly, smiling her thanks at Luke as he slipped past her to get to the bar.
‘Now, now, you two, we don’t want any trouble,’ Mary warned, eyeing each of the sisters cautiously.
‘Yes, I hoped you two might make up,’ Rose offered.
‘But you should have warned me, Rose,’ Joy complained.
Rose shrugged. ‘All you would have done is try to get out of it. Besides, you’re my best friend. You’ve done so much for me in recent weeks, I wanted to do something nice for you.’
Alice and Mary exchanged looks of surprise. Just how close had Rose and Joy become and what exactly was it that Joy had done for her lately? Quickly Alice ran her eyes over Rose. There was something different about her but she couldn’t tell what it was. The clothes hadn’t changed, and neither had the hair or the glasses she still insisted on wearing. But there was definitely an air about her that was different. It was the way she was holding herself, Alice realised. Rose seemed more confident somehow, no longer apologetic for who she was.
Joy looked at Rose in a way Alice had never seen before. There was genuine affection in her sister’s eyes as she leaned over to clasp Rose’s hand. ‘And I’m grateful, but Alice has made her feelings perfectly clear.’.
‘I have,’ Alice agreed. ‘I told you what I wouldn’t put up with, and you ignored me.’
‘You refused to listen to me,’ Joy whined. ‘You just don’t understand.’
Alice held her hand up. ‘I understand all right. I’ve always understood. What I won’t do is tolerate your behaviour.’ She paused then, and pinched the bridge of her nose. The last thing she wanted tonight was a row with her sister; she had to control the situation before it took control of her. She thought back to the shock news Chris had delivered only a few days ago. Sometimes you had no idea what was around the corner, and with Joy being the only family she had left, she wondered if she ought to try and make up with her. ‘Look Joy, you’re my sister and I love you,’ she said in softer tones. ‘I will always love you. I may not agree with everything you do but I will always be there for you. I would like to repair our relationship if possible.’
‘Does that mean I can move back in?’ Joy asked brightly. ‘The digs at Mayfair House are horrible.’
‘No. I can’t ignore what’s happened and I won’t have you under my roof again.’
Joy’s face fell and Alice watched in surprise as she turned to glance at Rose, who gave her a nod of encouragement.
‘All right,’ she said at last. ‘I can accept that.’
‘Good.’ Alice smiled. ‘I’m pleased.’
Luke returned, carrying a tray laden with drinks. ‘What did I miss?’ he asked, doling out the glasses.
‘Alice and Joy have made up,’ Mary said in delight. ‘Isn’t it wonderful?’
‘She’s not moving back in, is she?’ Luke asked bluntly. Alice shook her head. He grinned. ‘Then it’s wonderful.’
‘I don’t suppose you sew, do you?’ Jean asked suddenly.
‘What on earth are you on about now?’ Alice asked.
Jean coloured slightly. ‘I just thought that now you and your sister are friends again she might want to help out with our community stitching nights.’
‘I can sew,’ Joy replied doubtfully as she turned to Alice. ‘What are community stitching nights?’
Quickly Alice outlined the plan, earning herself a look of reproach from Luke. ‘Well, it’s a fine idea, but does this mean you’ll be spending another night away from me? You’ve got a son to take care of, in case you’d forgotten.’
‘I haven’t forgotten. It’s why I’ve been excused fire-watch duty. If I can’t find someone to take care of him, I’ll bring him with me,’ she said firmly. ‘Mr Button doesn’t mind.’
‘’Course he doesn’t.’ Mary chuckled. ‘You did give birth to the child in the store.’
‘In fact, it might not be a bad idea to get children in with their mums,’ Jean said thoughtfully. ‘We had a few in on that final first-aid night and they all get so involved.’
‘It’s a shame you only wanted to do two, Rose, they are so popular and you seemed to really enjoy them,’ Mary said sadly. ‘Is there anything we can say to get you to change your mind?’
With a firm shake of her head Rose gazed at the floor and Alice could see just how little their friend wanted to talk about it.
‘It would be a great way to get kids to learn how to sew,’ Jean added
, returning to the subject. ‘They’ll have skills for life then.’
‘Rather than be reliant on help for life,’ Mary muttered wryly, thinking of her own privileged background.
‘All right, count me in,’ Joy said happily. ‘As long as that’s all right with you, Alice?’
Alice couldn’t help smiling at her sister. Despite everything she had missed her. ‘It’s all right with me.’
Everyone raised their glasses then to toast Joy and Alice but Luke refused to join in.
‘What’s wrong?’ Alice hissed in his ear as she glanced around nervously at the girls.
‘I can’t believe you’re going to spend another evening apart from me,’ he said angrily. ‘We’re married, Alice, that should mean something to you. Well, I’ve had enough, I forbid you to get involved.’
‘Don’t be so stupid,’ Joy scoffed. ‘You can’t tell Alice what to do.’
‘Joy, stay out of it,’ Alice said warningly before turning back to her husband. ‘Luke, this is work, it’s all hands on deck. I’m afraid I do have to do this.’
At that moment Flo started to sing and everyone clapped and cheered while Luke slammed his glass down on the table. ‘There are times I don’t know why I came back at all,’ he spat.
Anger flooded through Alice. After everything Luke had done, all the lies he had told, he had the nerve to sit there and say that. She opened her mouth to unleash her feelings but caught sight of Flo singing her heart out and knew she couldn’t. She didn’t want to detract from her friend’s big night.
Looking back at her husband she shook her head in despair. ‘I’m sorry you feel that way.’
‘So am I,’ he snapped, standing up and storming out of the pub without a backward glance.
Wordlessly Alice turned her attentions back to her friend. Flo had a natural, raw talent and looked for all the world as if she belonged on that stage. Alice hoped she wouldn’t allow Neil to take this opportunity away from her. But then, Alice thought sadly, the thing about marriage was once you had made your bed, you very much had to lie in it.
