Lies Beneath the Surface (Buried Secrets #2)

by Silla Webb

  “You ain’t gotta be tough all the time, ya know. I miss her too. Why don’t you like her friend?” I’m staring at my little seven year old daughter in bewilderment, because she’s just too young to understand the gravity of my love life. To her, it’s simple. If I think Carly Jo is pretty, we should ride off in the sunset together and live happily ever after. Too bad it ain’t that easy.

  “What makes you think I’m actin’ tough, little girl?”

  “Cause when Carly Jo was around, you were always happy. She hasn’t been here lately, and you act sad and look mad all the time. But you try to smile, because you’re actin’ tough.”

  “You’re pretty smart, ya know that kid.” I say scrubbin’ my hand against the top of her head, which causes her to roll her eyes at me.

  “So, why don’t you like her friend, Daddy?”

  “Heidi Jo, are you talkin’ ‘bout Luke?”

  “Yeah, the big guy that colored with me today. What did he do wrong? You got mad when you saw Carly Jo talkin’ to him once before and you’re never nice to him. Is he a bad guy?”

  “No, he ain’t a bad guy.”

  “But Daddy, if he ain’t a bad guy, why are you mean to him? Just because he’s a boy and he’s Carly Jo’s friend don’t mean she can’t be your girlfriend. I’m friends with all kinds of boys and ain’t none of them my boyfriend. But if any of them were, I’d still be friends with the other boys. It don’t make sense not to, Daddy.”

  I crawl out of the fort in search for fresh air because her interrogation has me suffocatin’. “Baby girl, this is all adult stuff, you really shouldn’t worry too much about it. Just worry about little girl stuff and dance.” I tell her as I prop open the back door, bracin’ my arms on the top of the door jamb to suck the oxygen into my lungs. My chest is tight and my head pounds as the blood rushes quickly to my brain.

  “You okay, Daddy? Your face is red and there is a big ugly vein over your eye that’s shakin’. Do I need to get Mamaw?” She says as she shifts her weight from foot to foot, watchin’ me intently as I try to pull my shit together. I pinch my eyes shut and suck in a deep breath, tryin’ to calm my shaken nerves. I pull the door shut and scoop my princess up in my arms, holdin’ her tight. Seven years old, an abundance of joy and innocence yet she sees the big picture, even when I can’t.

  I carry Heidi Jo into the livin’ room and set her on the couch, before grabbin’ her mug of hot chocolate and handin’ it to her. She has her eye brow cocked up in confusion, but she doesn’t say anything about my panic attack. I toss a cookie in my mouth, then talk around it, askin’ if she wants to watch the movie in the fort or on the couch. Of course she picks the fort, what cool kid wouldn’t pick the fort? We crawl in the fort, snacks in hand this time, and flick the movie on. Within minutes she is engrossed in the movie, not givin’ any thought to our conversation.

  I lace my fingers behind my head and lay back in our make shift fort; starin’ up at the music note printed sheet deep in thought. Is it all that simple, and I’m just bein’ an ass? I let my thoughts consume me, processin’ every scenario possible that comes to mind. Heidi Jo’s snores startle me, and I realize I’ve spent the entire length of the movie analyzin’ the gravity of the situation. And I’m not an inch closer to figurin’ a damn thing out now than I was an hour ago. I cover Heidi Jo with her blanket, crawlin’ out of the fort to stretch my legs. When I stand to my feet, my head pounds with a fierce intensity. I grab some Motrin from the medicine cabinet then stretch out on the couch to try to ease the migraine that’s invadin’. The more my head pounds, the harder I think about the facts, the madder I get. I’m a dumb prick with tunnel vision, only seein’ what my mind wants me to see. I’ve let my own insecurities and jealousy come between me and the woman I love.

  I slowly cross the tracks and make my way up the small holler. With each house I pass my anxiety and anticipation builds, suffocatin’ me like a boulder’s layin’ on my chest. After two miles of dilapidated, junky trailers and houses, I come upon the small battered house that Luke lives in with his old man. I put my truck in park and as the engine dies I lean back in the seat, takin’ a deep breath to calm my nerves.

  Miller’s Branch is small, narrow holler filled with broken down homes. Literally and figuratively. It’s filled to the brim with low income families battlin’ poverty and the cheese line for their next meal. Luke Ashton was raised here.

  Climbin’ out of my truck I make my way up to the porch where the boards are squeakin’ and givin’ protest to my thick weight. Knocking on the front door, I realize that the screen has literally been ripped from the hinges, with splintered wood stickin’ out of the door jamb. Damn, somebody had a bad, drunken stupor. The front door pulls open slowly, and I look away from the splintered wood to see Luke scowlin’ down at me with a cocked eye brow.

  “Come to assess your damage here, Hulk?” He laughs, but I don’t get the joke. He steps aside for me to walk in. Damn, the inside is just as bad as the outside. Patched up holes scatter paint chipped walls. The windows are dark and mildew stained, while the furniture is as old as I am, worn and weathered. I take a seat on the edge of the couch, bracin’ my elbows on my knees as I wait for Luke to sit down.

  “I don’t know how to fight for her without smotherin’ her. It seems like everything I do is wrong. I know I did her wrong in the past, which is the only reason I’m here askin’ for your advice.” A sour taste coats my tongue as I admit defeat. “I don’t know how you got so close to Carly Jo, or why. But she trusts you. A little too much for my likin’ but if I have any chance in hell at forever with her, I guess I need to accept that you’re in her life. Tell me how I’m supposed to do that?” Luke releases the deep pent up breath he’s been holdin’ onto for far too long, and the red in his cheeks melts away with his deep breath.

  “Your number one mistake was taking her for granted. Secondly, you thought that just because you had a grip around her, your hold was too tight for her to wiggle from. You seem to have forgot that she’s as tough as nails. You lied to her once before, and when you hid the truth from her causing your accident, you stripped her trust in you. She over reacted because she really didn’t know how else to deal. She thought that if you would have hidden something from her that could consequently cost her the company that it was hard to tell what other secrets you would have left buried.” He explains in a low tone. “She, no” he shakes his head, “we both know that what happened between us was one big ass mistake. Hell, Carly ignoring me for the entire month after was clear enough of a signal for me to know that I had no future with her. I’m fine with that, but I need her friendship. I want her happy, Weston. You are the only one who can make her happy. You just need to see that I’m not your enemy and learn to forgive her and me, like she forgave you.”

  “How do you know she forgave me?”

  “She was with ya, wasn’t she? She loves your daughter like she’s her own. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, Colton. It’s how I wished a woman looked at me.”

  “What about the baby, Luke? What the hell am I supposed to do if that baby’s yours?” Luke pinches the bridge of his nose while shakin’ his head.

  “Big picture, Colton. Stay focused. The most important thing right now is that you fight for Carly and that she knows how much you love her. She’s sick all the time, and she’s scared because she’s basically doin’ all of this alone. She needs you. That’s what matters right now. You make amends, promise her the forever she deserves then worry about everything else as it comes.”

  “Shit, man. Are you serious? Do you not even care that the baby might be yours, or that another man may end up raisin’ it? Or are you prayin’ that you get to skimp out on raisin’ a kid in this hell hole?” I say, tossin’ my hands about on display of the room we’re sittin’ in.

  “Weston, first of all, don’t act like you know me. Just because I came from shit, don’t make me shit. You don’t know the man I am today, only what you see. And we both know you only see what the hell yo
u wanna see. Blind as hell. Secondly, I promised Carly the day she told me that she was pregnant that I would stand by her, hand in hand through any storm life brings her, and I always keep my promises. But I also told her that I prayed that baby she’s carryin’ belongs to you. Because you’re the man her heart belongs too.” He says pointin’ his finger at me as his voice escalates. “I can never love her like you can, Colton. So why try? I’m bein’ the bigger man, stepping back and lettin’ Carly have the happiness she deserves. I’ll be a part of Carly’s life for as long as she wants me in it, but as a friend only. If the baby’s mine, I’ll take care of it. But just because I may be the daddy doesn’t mean that you and Carly can’t move on together.”

  “Cause it’s just that simple?”

  “If you’re dumbass would quit over analyzin’ shit, yes, it’s just that simple. Man, look at it like this. You and Carly Jo keep being pulled back into each other lives like the rotation of the earth depends on your connectivity. It’s fate. She left you when she found out about that druggie at the mines, but now she’s pregnant and it just might be yours. Sure, karma bein’ the bitch that she is keeps tossin’ shit in your path, but if you’ll fight hard enough, Fate will kick Karma’s ass every time.” He looks down, pullin’ in a deep breath as anguish mars his face. “I’ve loved with every ounce of my being, only to have everything that I love, everything that made my life worth living, stripped from me. Never take the woman you love for granted.”

  I scrub my hand against my chin lettin’ the day old scruff scratch my fingers as I soak in Luke’s advice. I ain’t about to ask about his inner demons. Men don’t chit chat and trade stories and shit. Hell no, that shit’s for pussies. “Man, that’s some deep shit.” He tosses his head back and laughs before continuin’.

  “So, you got that shit figured out. How ‘bout all this damage, huh?”

  “Yeah man, what the hell happened in here?”

  Luke’s laughter stops and he just peers at me, dazed. “Shit, you seriously don’t remember?” I shake my head, because I ain’t got a clue what the hell he’s talkin’ about.

  “The night Carly told you about us, you came over. You flattened my Harley, leaving it in pieces, literally. You rammed my truck, then ripped the screen door off the hinges tryin’ to get inside to get your hands on me.”

  “That’s what happened to the splintered door jamb?” I ask in astonishment, and Luke nods. “What the hell did I do?” I mutter.

  “When you got inside, you had your hands around me in seconds and that was that. You’re worse than a damn bull in a China shop when you’re pissed. You really don’t remember, anything?”

  “No man, not a damn thing. I remember leavin’ Carly Jo’s house and her wakin’ me up three days later. Nothin’ in between.”

  “I thought for sure you would have killed me if our fight wouldn’t have woke my old man up. But the gun against your neck sent you runnin’ outta here with your tail between your legs, thank God.” He laughs, but I shoot him a deadpan glare that reins him back a bit.

  “Man, I’m sorry for everything. I’ll pay for all of the damages. I’ll have my insurance adjuster get in contact with you this week about your bike and truck.” I sigh. “Thank you, Luke. Thanks for bein’ there for Carly Jo when I wasn’t man enough to put my insecurities aside. Thanks for bein’ a friend when she needed it most. I don’t know how she’ll ever forgive me, but I think puttin’ this shit between us,” I say motionin’ between him and me, “behind me, may just be the right track.” Luke nods, silently acceptin’ my apology and gratitude. As I stand to leave, I offer him a hand shake, to which he accepts.

  To forgive and forget. That’s the only way I’ll get past this shit storm. Now I pray that I can win my girl back after all the pain I’ve caused her.

  Chapter 9

  I don’t want to move on alone, but I’ve been left with no other choice. My baby deserves a family. Luke doesn’t have the emotional stability to be a father, not with the ghosts of his past haunting him. Colton? He simply doesn’t want me or the baby.

  When I left Colton’s house last Friday night, I promised myself that I would give him the time and space that he needed to come around. But here I sit wrapped in a stiff paper gown, with dry paper sticking to my ass, tearing tiny holes into the bench of the exam room…all alone. He knew I had a follow up appointment today. I truly thought that giving him nearly two weeks to blow off steam would have given him a clearer sight of our future, but apparently it hasn’t.

  Dr. Staton enters the room, pulling me from the depressing thoughts that evade my tired mind. I’m truly sick of worrying over this elusive heartache, but it will never leave me. “Carly Jo, you are terribly pale. How’s the morning sickness?” The good doctor asks with a concerned expression as she pulls the rolling stool beneath her to sit. She opens her laptop then begins scrolling through my chart, nodding silently to herself as she waits for my reply.

  “I’m fine, Dr. Staton. Just tired is all.”

  “Mmhmm, I see. Have you been taking the pre-natal vitamins I prescribed you? Drinking plenty of water and getting lots of rest?” She asks, peeking out of the corner of her eye. I shake my head up and down with a low mutter.

  “Fatigue is common in the first trimester, my dear. Try not to worry, the second trimester is well within site. Now, I see here that your CBC panels all look nice. Let’s have a look and listen, shall we?” She says as she motions for me to lie back against the stiff exam table. I lie back pinching my eyes shut as Dr. Staton does her poking and prodding. She pulls a measuring tape from her jacket pocket, stretching it across my abdomen, then makes notes on her notepad. She squeezes blue, cold goop on my belly then scans the top of my abdomen with the Doppler. A loud swooshing sound fills the room almost immediately. Tears fill my eyes hearing this miraculous sound for the very first time. Seeing the pink lines on the pregnancy test only told me I was expecting, but hearing this amazing sound makes it real. Dr. Staton smiles down at me as she concentrates on the baby’s heartbeat.

  After she has finished her exam, she asks me to get dressed then to meet her in her office. I wet a napkin to clean the smeared blue goop from my stomach, but ain’t nothing but a shower gonna clean away that nasty residue. Pulling my clothes on quickly, I gather my things and make my way down to Dr. Staton’s office. She is concentrating on entering her notes when I take a seat on the opposite side of her desk. When she realizes my presence she closes her laptop, giving me her full attention.

  “Everything looks really well. The baby is growing right along with your expected due date.” She pulls her glasses from her face, and peers at me before releasing a short sigh. “Have you talked to the possible fathers yet, Carly? You’re still a few weeks away from being able to get a conclusive reading on the Pre-natal Paternity Test. Have either possible father agreed to the test yet?”

  “I have. Both men are aware of the situation, and one has agreed to be tested so far.”

  “Only one?” She questions.

  “The other is bit scorned by the situation.”

  She stares at me briefly before staring down at the calendar on her desk. She has something more hanging on her lip, she’s just not sure how to proceed with her line of questioning. She looks up at me with a weak smile and says, “I see. Well, I’ll have the girls get the test scheduled for your fourteenth week of gestation. They will call you with the details. Unless you have any issues, I won’t need to see you back for a month. However, even if you just need to talk between now and then, feel free to set up an appointment. I’m not a therapist but I deal with this same situation all the time and it can be very stressful for expecting mothers.”

  I shake her hand and thank her for her time then make my way to the receptionist desk to schedule my follow up appointment for one month out. After that is all squared away, I head out into the blustery cold to meet Savannah for lunch. She was hoping to be with me for my appointment today since Colton and I aren’t on speaking terms, but she had some e
rrands to run for Josh that he insisted must be done this morning.

  When I get to the Village Diner I greet Tabby, the new waitress with a small wave then find my usual table near the back of the restaurant to wait for Savannah. “Hey doll, how’s it shakin’? Gonna have the usual today?” Tabby asks placing the menus on the edge of the table and my favorite sweet tea with light ice on a beverage napkin in front of me. This girl has only worked here a few weeks and she already knows my favorites.

  “Hey Tabby, how ya been? Not sure on the order just yet. My sister is meeting me, so I’ll wait for her before I order, ‘kay?”

  “Sure thing. Just wave me on back when you’re ready.” She tells me as she slides her order pad down in the front pocket of her apron and turns toward the front counter.

  I check my phone for any missed calls, but there’s only a couple of text messages. One from Savannah apologizing for her lateness for our lunch date, and one from Luke.

  Luke: What did the doc have to say?

  I stare down at my phone wondering whether I should message him back, or just steer clear like I’ve been trying so very hard to do. I’m trying to keep him at arm’s length, but he calls, texts and stops by to check on me often. Luke doesn’t deserve any of this, he is merely the middle man caught up in an accidental love triangle. He know’s who owns my heart, but I still carry guilt for not only having sex with him, but dragging him into this mess. But the fact remains that this baby may just be his, and he ain’t ready for that road to be traveled again.

  I shove my phone down in my purse, and think out of sight, out of mind, but it’s never that easy, I promise you this. I hear him clear his throat as he sits down before me. Looking up, my eyes are met with the piercing blue eyes that I’ve intently tried to avoid. Luke.