by T. L. Haddix
When he straightened, he felt years older than he had when he’d walked into the room. Bypassing Geneva Brewer, he stalked out of the house. He didn’t remember driving away or going home, but he found himself sitting in the hot car in front of the farmhouse. Before anyone saw him, he got out and hurried into the barn, where he climbed into the hayloft and cried.
After he came down, he was a different person—colder, less trusting. He knew the family was worried, but he refused to talk about it. They’d made their annual trek to Georgia a week later, and he’d put Ainsley Brewer to the back of his mind. He’d worked hard at school, and he’d played hard, trying to forget her. Eventually, entire days went by when he didn’t think of her.
Now she was back. As much as he’d come home to settle up with his memories of her, the possibility of actually seeing her had never been part of his reality. And he did not know how in the world to deal with that.
As he started to stand, a soft rustling was his only warning before a good-sized silver wolf trotted around the corner of the barn, pausing when it saw him. Ben tensed instinctively for a split second, then relaxed. This animal posed no threat to his safety.
“Pip, what are you doing? It’s broad daylight. Dad will tan your hide for this.”
The wolf’s tail wagged rapidly, and she gave a growl that was half yip of pleasure before gamboling over to lean against his legs. She looked up at him with a wolf’s version of affection in her startlingly blue eyes, and Ben felt a little of his heartache melt.
“It’s still weird, seeing you or Rachel in your shifter form. Even after all these years.” Obliging her antics, Ben knelt down and vigorously ruffled her fur. “What happened? Did they tell you I was upset?”
A quick swipe of her tongue against his cheek and a short groan told him that was, in fact, what had happened.
“I’m okay. I just needed a little time to think.”
They stayed there for a little while. Amelia, who was much more restless in her wolf form than in her human form, ran after butterflies, froze at the sound of a squirrel chattering in the woods, and eventually found a stick, which she brought back to Ben and dropped at his feet. They were still playing with the stick when Owen came through the barn. He stopped next to Ben with his hands on his hips.
Amelia, who was bringing the stick back for another toss, paused almost comically before dropping it. She lay down on her belly and looked up at their father apologetically.
“You are going to be the death of me, Amelia Rose. You know better than this. Changing and being outside in the daylight, when anyone can come by? That’s an awfully big risk, young lady.”
She whined and dropped her head to rest on her paws, but kept her eyes on Owen.
He sighed. “Go inside. Your mom’s looking for you.”
After she left, Owen held out a hand to Ben. “Come on. Sarah’s worried about you, too. You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“This Ainsley. She’s the girl you threw Emma out of the car for talking about, isn’t she?”
When the family had made the annual trek back to Georgia after the disastrous summer, Ben and Emma had been driving in their car. Owen, Sarah, and the girls followed in theirs. Emma had so pestered Ben during one leg of the trip that he’d pulled over to the side of the road and gotten out of the car, furious that she wouldn’t leave matters be. His father, who was a few miles back, had caught the brunt of his anger after pulling the family car up behind Ben.
“Get her out of my car, Dad, or I’m going to strangle her.”
“It’s my car, too,” Emma protested.
Owen had separated them, making Amelia—who was less inclined to pry—ride the rest of the way to Savannah with her brother. Emma hadn’t talked to Ben for over a week, and Ben hadn’t minded that in the least.
He answered Owen’s question. “She is.”
Owen put his arm around Ben’s shoulders and squeezed. “We’re here if you need us.”
And that was all. He didn’t try to get Ben to confess or discuss his feelings. He just offered the unconditional support that Owen and Sarah had been giving all their children from day one.
Ben was so grateful for that love he couldn’t have opened his mouth and spoken if he had to. His family wasn’t perfect, but they were good. And good trumped perfect any day of the week.
Chapter Twelve
Ben didn’t have to face the reality of Ainsley in the flesh immediately. The day after John had delivered his news, the family received word that Zanny’s estranged father had died. An over-the-road trucker, Dennis Franks was, in Ben’s humble opinion, a waste of humanity. The only good thing the man had ever done was produce Zanny.
The good news of the week was that John and Zanny seemed to have patched up their differences. She was working with Emma, helping manage the photography studio his sister had opened in town, and the independence had given Zanny the boost of confidence that she needed. She and John hadn’t officially reconciled, but Ben figured that was coming soon.
That left the little problem of what to do with Emma. Ben knew his twin was capable of taking care of herself and her baby, but he also knew doing it by herself was going to be harder on her than it needed to be. He had an idea of how to help her without stomping on her pride. When he heard about Dennis’s passing, he’d known John would be moving out of the house he shared with Emma and back into his own home. That would leave his sister alone and vulnerable. He’d picked up the phone up that evening and set the wheels in motion.
He told his boss what he needed the next day. “My grandmother is moving back to Kentucky from Georgia. The family doesn’t know. I need to fly out of Lexington and go get her, drive her back up here. I know that’s going to put you in a bad spot.”
“When are you going?”
“Next week. I’ll leave Wednesday or Thursday, and we’ll be back by the Fourth.”
Kyle hadn’t been happy, but he’d understood. “I can get my nephew to step in while you’re gone.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”
With the exception of Rick, whom he’d coerced into driving him the two hours to the airport on Wednesday evening, Ben told the family only that he was going out of town for a few days. As his Nonny had said, he loved a surprise. This would probably be the biggest surprise he ever managed to pull off. Eliza Browning hadn’t been back to Kentucky since right after her husband, Ira, had died almost thirty years ago.
He took a taxi from the airport to Eliza’s house, arriving at half-past six Thursday morning. Despite the early hour, the light was on in her living room. She met him at the door.
“There’s my boy. Come here and let me hug you.”
She was a tiny little thing, at least compared to him. He sat down his bag and folded her into a good, long hug, taking comfort just from being in her presence.
“I’ve missed you, Nonny.”
“I’ve missed you. How was your trip? I made some coffee.”
“Coffee sounds wonderful, and the trip was okay.”
“You look like you could use a few hours’ sleep,” she told him as they went into the kitchen.
He rubbed the day’s growth of stubble that covered his jaw. “That and a shower.” In the dining room sat a neat stack of boxes, ready to be put on a truck and driven to Kentucky.
“Charles hired movers, so we don’t have to worry about renting a van.” She gently pushed him into a chair, then set about fixing him a cup of coffee.
Charles was married to Kathy, Eliza’s oldest daughter. He was a successful lawyer in Savannah, and Ben had always thought highly of him.
“How’d Kathy take the news?”
Eliza hmmm’d as she put the coffee pot back on its base. “She took it a lot better than I expected, to be honest. We’ve been talking about my going home for a while now
, ever since Emma left. So this didn’t come out of the blue. I think a part of her is even excited for me.”
“Good. I’m glad she’s finally getting some peace and happiness, Nonny. She deserves it.”
“This new medicine her doctor started her on is a miracle pill.” Eliza sat down at the table, looking him over carefully. “You don’t look like you’ve been getting a lot of sleep.”
Ben drank half of his coffee before answering. “Ainsley’s back in Hazard. She’s widowed. No kids.”
Eliza whistled. “Did you run into her?”
“No. John did. His boss is doing up some deal with her mother’s estate. I guess the old bat died back in the fall. Sorry,” he apologized when Eliza shot him a scolding look. “Anyhow, thing is, I’m part of the crew that takes care of the landscaping at her house. It isn’t a question of if I run into her. It’s a question of when.”
“How long has she been back?”
“Not long. A couple, three weeks maybe?”
Eliza reached over and covered his hand with hers. Though she was in her seventies, she was in excellent health, and her grasp was strong. “I’m sorry, Benny.”
“So am I.” After draining the mug, he stood and put it in the sink. “Do you mind if I get cleaned up? All that canned air on the plane, and I’m feeling slightly pickled.”
“Make yourself at home. We’ve got plenty of time now that we don’t have to worry about getting all this stuff loaded on a truck.”
“When do you want to head out?”
She smiled over at him. “That depends on you. Do you want to make it a fast trip or take your time getting home?”
“How long has it been since you had a vacation?” He leaned against the counter, grinning as she tapped her finger on her cheek and thought.
“You kids were little, your parents, Jack, and Gilly all drove down, and we went to Myrtle Beach for a week. Right before John and Michelle went to college and the year after we lost my sister Nancy. So it’s been a while.”
“Then why don’t we take our time? As long as we’re there by Tuesday, so what if we take a little detour on our way? Maybe stop in Gatlinburg or Asheville. I’ve always wanted to tour the Biltmore. I hear they have spectacular formal gardens.”
“That sounds like a fabulous idea. Now, why don’t you go get cleaned up, maybe even lie down for a bit if you like? I have the guest room made up for you.”
He did, and after having dinner that evening with his aunt and uncle, who were happier than Ben could ever remember seeing them, they set out the next morning. He had a blast traveling with Eliza, who told countless stories about his mother and her siblings when they were growing up. They caught up on Eliza’s life since he’d left Georgia, and over breakfast in Asheville, he asked her about Emma’s former boyfriend.
“Emma hasn’t said much, just that he wanted no part of her or the baby. And then you told me he’d gotten married. He hasn’t been around?”
“No. And that’s for the best.” Eliza sat back, hot tea in hand, and looked out over the grounds of the restaurant. It was one of the nicest in the area, and it was close to the Biltmore Estate they planned to tour that day. “He used her grievously. I didn’t much care for him, but after finding out what he’d done, I’m glad he’s gone. She’ll be much better off without him around to complicate things.”
Ben was baffled. “I just can’t understand that, though, walking away from a child he helped create. If it were me, I’d fight tooth and nail to be a part of that child’s life. I mean, the parallels are startling, what happened with Em and what I went through with Ainsley. If I found out that she’d been pregnant with my child? No way would I let another man raise it.”
They paid for their meal and then slowly made their way out to the parking lot, through the restaurant’s touristy collection of clocks and knickknacks.
“What are you going to do about Ainsley being back in town?” she asked once they were in the car.
“I don’t have the answer to that. What do you think I should do?”
“Well, you’re genetically predisposed to bury your head in the sand,” she told him, tongue-in-cheek. “I mean, look at me—I ran away from Kentucky for three decades to get away from my memories.”
“That’s a little different,” he contradicted softly. “Don’t you think?”
“Maybe. Point is, the inclination is there.” She looked at her hands, folded together in her lap. “I think you just need to bite the bullet, and once we’re back, maybe you knock on the door the next time you’re there cutting the grass. She knows you’re back. You know she’s back. Don’t let it be awkward.”
“No?”
“No.” She shot him a mischievous look. “You’ve grown into a fine man, Benny. So maybe when you’re cutting the grass, you take off your shirt. Show her what she’s missed. You said she’s been widowed now for a while, right?”
“Nonny!” He was scandalized, torn between embarrassment and amusement. Laughter won out as he parked the car. “Now I know where Mom gets it from.”
Eliza’s smile was at once proud and sassy. “Well, of course she does. Now let’s go see this big fancy house. See if it’s as nice as they say.”
They spent all day Saturday exploring the Biltmore, then drove over from Asheville into Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Even though it was the height of the tourist season, they lucked out and got rooms each night. They stayed in Gatlinburg for the weekend, then got up Monday morning to drive to Kentucky. They took their time getting to Hazard, and by the time they rolled into town, it was late Monday evening.
“Could an old woman impose on your hospitality tonight, Ben? I don’t think I’m quite up to going back home tonight. I need a little time to gird myself.”
“Of course. Now, it isn’t the Biltmore,” he joked, “but I do make a good cup of morning coffee.”
She exclaimed over his functional apartment as though it were the Biltmore. Since he didn’t have any groceries in the fridge, they had to eat dinner out and then breakfast again the next morning. He could tell she was nervous, and his heart ached for her.
“Nonny, they’ll be so happy to see you. And I’ll be right beside you the whole way.”
She didn’t look at him, just stared at the passing scenery. “I know you will be. You really think this is a good idea, my coming home? The place has changed so much,” she marveled.
“Yes, I think it is a wonderful idea. And it has changed.” He pointed out the building where John worked when they passed it and gestured across the valley toward Rick’s neighborhood a few miles on up the road.
The closer they got to the homeplace, the more the conversation faded. “Do you want to go to Jack’s or to Mom and Dad’s?”
“I’m not ready to go back to the old house yet. Your parents’ house, please.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He turned off the main highway onto a smaller road, and they rode the rest of the way in silence. Checking his watch, he saw that it was just after eleven. The festivities for the Fourth weren’t scheduled to start until one or two, and chances were good that it would just be Ben’s parents and siblings at the farm at this hour.
When they reached the driveway, he pulled in and stopped. “You ready?”
Eliza nodded eagerly. “Yes. Yes, I am.”
Ben saw in her eyes that she was ready. Her courage in facing her memories made him feel a bit ridiculous about the Ainsley problem, but it inspired him, too. “Then let’s go surprise some Campbells.”
And after they did, he would reconcile himself to facing his own memories.
Chapter Thirteen
“Who in the world is ringing the doorbell at eight thirty on a Thursday morning?” Byrdie muttered under her breath as she hurried down the hall from the kitchen. She’d been ready to hit the start button on the blender when the doorbel
l rang.
When she opened the door, a tall, good-looking man dressed in jeans and a faded T-shirt turned around to face her. She recognized him immediately, even though she’d only seen him briefly five years earlier. Ben Campbell. From the quick frown he smoothed out, she thought he recognized her, as well.
“Can I help you?”
“Is Ainsley available?”
Byrdie hesitated. “Not really. Why do you want her?”
That got her a raised eyebrow. “I beg your pardon?”
She crossed her arms and widened her stance. “I asked you why you wanted to see her. That’s a simple enough question.”
Ben rubbed his jaw, and the frown reappeared. “Yeah, well, it doesn’t have a simple answer.” A pair of sunglasses sat on the brim of his ball cap, and he pulled them down but didn’t put them on. “I’m here to cut the grass. It’s been a while since we saw each other. I thought I’d offer my condolences.”
“Uh-huh. I’m sure. Well, she’s tied up at the moment. I’ll let her know you’re here.”
He huffed out a little breath, and the corner of his mouth spasmed in a sardonic grimace. “I’m sure you will. Thank you, ma’am.” Tipping his hat, he headed down the walk toward the lawn mower parked behind a truck and trailer on the driveway. Byrdie stepped into the doorway to watch. Sure enough, he got on the mower and started it up.
She cursed long and low under her breath. “Well, this won’t be awkward and difficult at all.”
