by T. L. Haddix
“Ben told me you collect old photographs, and knowing you’re expecting a little girl, I thought you might like it.”
Emma nodded vigorously. “I love it. Thank you.”
When it was Ben’s turn to open his presents, he went for Ainsley’s gift first. Rachel made kissy sounds, but he just grinned. “Yeah. So?” The grin faded when he opened the box, though. Inside was an old, rare book. He knew what it was as soon as he saw it.
“Where did you get this?” Reverently, he lifted the limited-edition, leather-bound book from the tissue paper. The landscape architect who’d designed Ainsley’s formal garden had put together a book of his most impressive jobs, spelling out details of the work he’d done on fifteen projects. Though Ben owned a copy of the public printing of the book, the only ones bound in leather were the ones he’d given to his clients.
“It came with the house. I thought you might appreciate it.”
Ben carefully opened the cover to read the personalized inscription from the architect to the house’s owner. “I can’t believe—are you sure you want to part with it?”
She nodded. “It should be with someone who can really appreciate it.”
He kissed her soundly. “Thank you.”
Ainsley flushed. “You’re welcome.”
After the gift-opening was finished, Sarah shooed them in to the living room. “Let’s go visit. The dishes will wait.”
The rest of the men went outside with Eli and Noah, who needed to run off some pent-up energy, but Ben stayed behind. It wasn’t that he doubted Ainsley’s ability to take care of herself, but he could tell she wasn’t comfortable being left on her own with his family just yet.
Emma had commandeered her and was sitting on the couch, flanked by Ainsley and Zanny. Rachel had settled down at her feet and was preparing to paint Emma’s toenails.
“You need some pampering before Baby Campbell gets here,” Rachel told her, holding up two bottles of nail polish. “Hot pink or coral?”
Seeing the opportunity for mischief, Ben settled down on the floor next to Rachel. Once she was engrossed in her task, he started teasing her.
“So where are we going to live? We’re sharing an apartment in Lexington, right? Since we’ll both be in school there, and I’ll be on hand to keep an eye on you.”
Rachel snorted. “Not even gonna happen. You’re on your own.”
Ben put a hand to his chest. “I am wounded. Deeply, deeply wounded. My own sister doesn’t want to spend time with me. What is this world coming to?” He winked at Eliza. “Nonny, what do you think of this girl?”
“I think she’s spreading her wings and doesn’t need her big brother around to cause trouble,” came the pert response. “And I think you’ll be just fine on your own.”
“But I was looking forward to having makeup and hair parties,” he protested. He scooted so that he was slightly behind Rachel, then started lifting locks of her straight dark hair up, pretending to style it.
“I feel like I’m being attacked by a demented bat. Stop it.” She moved so that her hair fell away from his hands.
“Demented bat? Really?”
Rachel had capped the nail polish and set it aside. Ben wrapped his casted arm around her neck and twisted so that she was in a loose headlock, half-pinned to the floor. From there, he set out to tickle her into submission, going straight for the backs of her knees, which he knew she hated.
“Ben, quit!” Shrieking with laughter, she kicked. He used his leg to pin her, then tickled harder. “If you don’t stop…”
Ben laughed, not intimidated. “You’ll what? Tickle me back.”
She managed to elbow him lightly in the stomach. “No, I’ll call in reinforcements. Pip, a little help?”
Before Ben could let Rachel go, Amelia was on his back and had wrapped both arms and legs around him. Even though she was the smallest in the family and was almost petite, she was strong. He fought against her hold, but in order to break free, he would have to fight harder and possibly hurt her. Plus, with the broken wrist, he was at a distinct disadvantage.
Emma and Zanny were egging them on, and Ben’s outraged shouts mixed with the women’s laughter. Even his mother, aunt, and grandmother were holding their sides. Ainsley’s giggles caught his attention through the chaos. She and Emma were leaning into each other as they laughed, and Ainsley had her hand up to her mouth. Her eyes gave away her mirth, however, even as she tried to stifle the amusement.
Taking advantage of his distraction, Rachel reached for the hot-pink nail polish.
“Don’t you dare! Rachel Mia, I’ll have your hide!” he roared, seriously alarmed. He was dimly aware of his father and brother coming into the room, but was too busy fighting in earnest to get his foot away from his sister, without much success.
“What in the world is going on in here?” Owen asked with a wide grin of his own. “It sounds like you’re torturing him.”
“They are!”
By the time his sisters let him up, half of his right foot and three of the toenails on that foot were painted bright, glow-in-the-dark pink. He rubbed at the paint, but all he managed to do was smear it.
“How the hell do I get this off? That isn’t funny, damn it.” The more he complained, the harder they laughed. Standing, he stared down at his decorated limb in outrage. “Get it off!”
“Pink looks good on you, Benny,” Emma snickered. “Doesn’t it, Ainsley?”
Ainsley was laughing too hard to answer. She’d given up any pretense of hiding behind her hand and was trying to wipe her eyes.
Ben stepped over to the couch and planted a knee on either side of her legs. Bracing himself with his uninjured hand on the arm of the sofa, he leaned in over her. “You think this is funny, huh?”
She nodded, and a half-snort came out as she tried to curb her laughter.
He tried to pretend he was outraged, but the sight of her so taken over by humor was too compelling. “This is why girls are more trouble than boys. They’re meaner. They like to torture a man. If we ever have children, we’re only having boys. I’m putting my foot down on that one.”
“Y-your pink f-foot?” Zanny snickered, which sent Ainsley into gales of laughter again.
A tug of fabric was the only warning he got. Before he could stop her, Emma had his wallet out of the bottom front pocket of his cargo shorts and was passing it to Zanny. He made a quick, futile grab for it, but Zanny tucked it down by her hip. If he went for it there, John would decapitate him.
“Et tu, Zanny?”
“Um, maybe?”
“Don’t you dare give it back to him!” Emma insisted. “It’s taken me five months to get my hands on it again. I’m dying to know what’s inside.”
Ben looked at his father. “You just had to have girls, didn’t you?”
“It isn’t like you get a choice,” Owen reminded him.
“Well, I get a choice,” Ben answered archly. “Boys only.”
Ainsley poked him in the belly. “Your wife might want a say in that, Benjamin. And what’s in the wallet that’s so special, anyhow?”
“That’s the question of the century,” Emma told her. “He just about went ballistic a few months ago when I got hold of it. We were all talking about the stuff we kept in our wallets, and he didn’t want to answer.”
“So naturally, Trouble here had to see what was inside,” Ben shot back at her, making a face. He sighed. “Go ahead and look, Zanny.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
Nervous, he barely breathed as she sent him a soft smile and opened the leather tri-fold wallet.
“Let’s see. Driver’s license, social security card. Only one credit card. Impressive,” she commented. “But we already know you’re fiscally responsible.”
“
He gets that from the accountant,” Emma quipped.
“Hey, now,” John protested. “Nothing wrong with being responsible.”
Amelia went to the back of the couch to look over Zanny’s shoulder. “How much money does he have?”
“Forget money. What else is in there?” Rachel came to the end of the sofa beside Zanny and leaned over. When she crowed and reached down to pull out a string of three unopened condoms, Ben cringed and hid his face in his hand. He’d put those in before leaving for Lexington, just in case Ainsley had wanted to go back to using them.
“I’m sure your brother is just using those for water balloons,” Owen said sternly as everyone, including Sarah, laughed. His voice was at odds with his face, which was a mix of embarrassment and amusement.
Ainsley made a sound of agreement, her hands on her cheeks. “I’m sure that’s what they’re for.” She looked up at Ben. “I’m beginning to see your point about girls versus boys.”
“Oh, boys are just as bad,” Sarah said with a laugh. “They’re just not as overt about it. Surely that isn’t what you didn’t want your sisters to see, though, Ben. What else is there?” she asked Zanny.
Ben’s sister-in-law had come to the insert that held pictures. “He has some pictures here. Awww, Eli’s baby picture. And Noah’s.” She catalogued the rest of the images, but when she got to the last one, she paused and looked up at him. “Oh. Is this it?”
He nodded. “Go ahead and show it to everyone.”
“What is it?” Amelia was craning her neck to see.
“It’s a picture, two pictures really, of Ben and Ainsley. When was this taken?” Zanny handed Emma the wallet, and Ainsley leaned in to see the small black-and-white image. Her gaze flew to Ben’s.
“You kept it?” Her face reflected her surprise.
“I did.”
“I can’t believe you still have that,” she admitted softly. “And it was taken down in Jackson at a fair, not long before I had to leave Hazard.” She reached out and touched the plastic sleeve that covered the picture. “God, we were so young.”
Ben didn’t look away from Ainsley as Emma passed his wallet to Amelia. When Ainsley met his gaze, her own eyes were troubled, and a bit luminous.
“You’ve carried that all these years?”
Unable to speak around the lump in his throat, he gave a single nod. Ainsley clasped his left hand with her right and threaded their fingers together.
“What happened to the other half?” Emma asked.
Ainsley’s mouth tightened at the corners. “I have it. It’s in a little book of poetry Ben gave me, along with a couple other mementos. I never would have expected you to still have that picture. Why?” she asked him.
“Okay, that’s it. We’re officially all third wheels,” Emma declared, handing him the wallet back. She scooted to the edge of the couch and stood with a groan. “Let’s go.”
Ben thanked her absently as he stood and put away his wallet, barely aware of his father closing the door as the family left. “Why? To remind myself. And because I couldn’t let you go completely. Why did you keep your half?”
Ainsley also stood, crossing her arms. She looked up and away, blinking rapidly, but a tear still managed to escape and slide down her cheek. She wiped it away impatiently. “Because it was all I had. All I could manage to hold onto. The two things I wanted most, I couldn’t keep. So I retained what I could.”
Her words devastated him in a way that he hadn’t been expecting. “Ainsley…” Pulling her into his arms, he held her so tightly, he was afraid he was going to hurt her. But she was holding onto him just as tightly. Needing the contact, he kissed her.
When he drew back some time later, both their faces were damp.
“Don’t ask me to ever let you go again,” he whispered. “I couldn’t bear it.”
She nodded. “Me, too.”
Ainsley’s heart was beating so hard that she thought it might leap out of her chest. He’d kept their picture. Even though he hated her and had reason to never want to see her face again, he’d kept the picture of them.
“I need to ask you something.” Her voice was weak and trembling, but she cleared her throat. “It may be too soon, but I can’t… I need to ask you.”
He touched her face, and a concerned frown worked its way between his brows. “Ask away.”
“I shouldn’t ask you. I know that. But I have to. I can’t stand not knowing.” She drew in a shuddering breath. “Will you marry me?”
Ben went perfectly still for a span of five seconds, then he blinked. “Wh-what?”
“Marry me. Come live with me. I can’t promise you we’ll ever have ch—”
His kiss cut her off before she could finish the world “children.”
“Yes,” he breathed. “God please, yes. Children or not, yes. You’re serious?”
She nodded and smiled through her tears. “Never been more serious.”
Ben wrapped her in his arms and lifted her off her feet, swinging her around in a small circle as he laughed. “You really want to marry me?”
“Of course I do. I love you.” Ainsley tightened her hold on his shoulders. “It isn’t fair of me to ask. I’ve got a lot of baggage. But… it feels right.”
“Yes, it does. And we’ll work through your baggage together, I swear to you. God, I love you so much.” He held her tightly, just running his hands over her back, pressing her to him.
Ainsley didn’t know how long they would have stood there if someone hadn’t knocked quietly at the door. After a second, Owen poked his head in. When he saw them holding each other, he smiled, though the expression was tense.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, kids, but we’re going to have to cut the party short. Emma’s in labor.”
The next few hours went by in a blur. Ben’s uncle and aunt stepped up and volunteered to keep John’s sons while everyone else went to the hospital. The labor and delivery waiting room filled up with Campbells, and the men took turns pacing back and forth. Ainsley stayed with Ben, not quite comfortable going into the birthing suite.
“How the hell did you go through this five times, Dad?” Ben asked as he passed by his father, who was sitting with Ainsley. “I’m a nervous wreck, and I’m not even the father.” He sent an apologetic grimace to Ainsley.
“I only had to go through it four times, since you and Emma were twins. And I had Jack to lean on, except with Amelia. Back then, the father wasn’t allowed in the room. At least now, you can go in with your wife.”
“What happened with Amelia?” Ainsley asked softly.
Owen smiled. “She had the bad timing to decide to be born during a blizzard. She was delivered at home.”
John stood and clapped his hand on Ben’s shoulder in support. “She’ll be fine. She’s had a textbook pregnancy.”
“I know.”
But Ainsley could see he was terrified. She felt a little guilty about that. She stood.
“Come with me. Let’s take a walk. Maybe go up the street beside the hospital?”
Owen gave an approving nod. “Get him some air. We’ll come find you if there’s any progress.”
Ainsley took his hand and tugged, and after a token resistance, Ben followed. Once they were outside, hit in the face by the heat and humidity, he took in several deep breaths.
“Listen, I’m not going to try and tell you childbirth isn’t dangerous. It is. But you have to believe she’s going to be okay. Just try to remember that what happened to me wasn’t a result of a natural process. She’s not facing that. I think she’s going to be just fine, her and the baby.”
“I know. I’m trying. But I keep thinking about how bad things went with you. Even a healthy pregnancy can be scary. I’m sorry.”
She squeezed his arm and shrugged off the sting of h
is words. “Don’t apologize. I understand. She’s not just your sister. She’s your twin. And she’s vulnerable, because she’s a single mom.”
They’d reached the end of the street, and they turned and started back slowly.
“I don’t want you to ever go through this,” he admitted. “Does that make me horrible? I don’t want to risk you.”
Surprised, Ainsley slowed to a stop. “Ben… not even if I could have children?”
He shrugged, looking away uncomfortably. “I’ve already lost you once. If I were to lose you a second time, there’d be no getting you back. And you said it yourself. Childbirth is dangerous. I’d be perfectly happy to let someone else take that risk, and then we could adopt. You know as well as I do that money opens doors that would otherwise be closed. If we wanted it, we could make it happen.”
Uncaring that they were in the middle of a residential street, Ainsley stepped up to him and slid her arms around his waist. “It really doesn’t bother you that I can’t have children?”
“It does bother me. I’d love to have a little girl who looks just like you, has your smile,” he ground out. “But I’m also somewhat relieved, if you want the truth, because I can keep you safer. We don’t have to make that choice going in. And that’s okay.”
She could see the truth on his face. For the first time since she’d learned she would never have children, some of the feelings of inadequacy started to break away—not all of them, but enough that Ainsley felt certain her proposal earlier had been the right decision.
“What do you say? After we leave here, we go back to Lexington—maybe tomorrow, after we’ve had some rest—and we elope?”
Ben tilted his head. “You don’t want a big wedding?”
“No. I don’t. I want something light, whimsical, and spontaneous. I want to do something just for me and for you, for once in our lives. How about it?”
