“What?” I was confused. “How is that even possible?”
“He didn’t want me to find out.”
“Why not? I mean, you’re engaged!”
She shook her head as she swiped at the traces of tears. “No, we’re not. He ended it.”
Despite the ugly words she’d spewed at me in the driveway, I went to her. She had lashed out at Garrett and me because she was hurt and angry. I wrapped my arms around her, and for the first time in our entire lives, it felt like our roles were reversed. She was the frightened younger sister who needed protection and comfort.
“I’m so sorry, Val. You should have called.”
“No, you’re right. You needed time to process. I know it wasn’t easy to hear what the doctor said.”
“It wasn’t, but I still want to be here for you.” I glanced up to see Garrett watching us with curiosity. He smiled sympathetically and then nodded, like he understood some unspoken request, before heading out to the backyard. “God, Dominic is such an asshole,” I finally said. “That was an amazingly shitty thing to do!”
Valerie and I broke apart. I spotted the pink pastry box on the counter and reached for it, pulling toward us. Slipping a finger inside, I broke the taped seal and flipped the lid opened. We needed the comfort of these French confections.
“Oh, God,” Valerie moaned. “You brought me back éclairs?” Her fingers wiggled and danced as she reached into the box for one before bringing it up to her mouth and taking a bite. The look of pure delight on her face followed by a groan of satisfaction assured me that our conflict was over.
“And flowers,” I said, biting into a heavenly macaron. Valerie’s eyes landed on the fragrant bouquet on the counter behind me.
“Thank you, Cami. I’m sorry that I was such a horrific bitch.”
“I knew you would be mad. I am sorry that I just left and didn’t call. I hope you weren’t worried.”
“Truthfully, I knew you were okay, and it’s probably better that you weren’t here anyway. I drowned my sorrows in a bottle of cheap wine,” she said before taking another bite of her éclair. “Palmer found me wandering the beach.”
“Why was he here?” Palmer was on my shit list for what he said about Garrett. Everyone assumed we would end up together because we’d grown up together and our families were so close. It wasn’t hard to miss the looks he gave me and how they were often filled with unrequited desire. Well, there was no chance in hell anything was going to happen between us.
“Why else? He was looking for you.”
“Did anything happen between the two of you?” I asked with a hint of skepticism.
Valerie looked at me with disgust. “Ugh. No. We both got drunk out on the dock. I was angry, and he was jealous.”
“He can shove his jealousy right up his ass,” I replied the moment Garrett decided to return.
“I thought it might be safe to come back,” he said, but from his expression, he had heard what I’d just told Valerie. “Who’s shoving their jealousy up their ass?”
“Palmer,” Valerie and I answered in unison.
“I’ll talk to him tonight.” He walked into the kitchen, picked up a pastry from the box, and devoured it in two bites. Valerie and I watched him in amazement. “Cami, I have to go, but I’ll call you tonight to check on you.”
Garrett planted a firm, searing kiss on my lips before he left, leaving me a little hot and bothered.
“I’m going to take a shower,” I announced. “And then we can go see Dad.”
Valerie’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “After a kiss like that, I would need a shower too.”
Chapter Fourteen
Cami
“Cami got laid! Cami got laid!” Embarrassment didn’t even begin to describe how I felt as we walked into my father’s hospital room, and Valerie made the announcement. My sex life was something my father didn’t need to know about, ever.
“That’s very interesting news, Val,” my father said with a hum in his voice. He was clearly trying to hide his smirk because this was funny to him.
“Thanks for telling the whole world, Valerie.” I placed the pink box on the bedside table next to my dad and maneuvered the table over his bed. “I brought you treats from Le Panier.”
For the first time in months, I saw a hint of the twinkle that used to exist in my dad’s eyes as he opened up the box. “These look good, Camille. Thank you.” He gently closed the lid and pushed the table away, which disappointed me. Not even his favorite Napoleon could tempt his appetite. He patted the spot next to him, his silent request for me to sit. “We need to talk about what happened yesterday. Valerie, can you give us a few minutes alone?”
“Sure. I’ll just go hunt down that hot doctor I met yesterday,” Valerie said, which prompted my dad to give me a pointed look.
“Valerie has news of her own,” I told him quietly. “But we can talk about that later. It’ll be fun to watch her squirm while I eat an éclair.”
“So you were in Seattle then?”
“Yes, I went yesterday.”
“With whom?”
Dad was avoiding the subject of his prognosis and what I’d heard the doctors tell him, and I let him steer the conversation for the time being. I knew my happiness worried him. “Palmer’s friend Garrett. I met him at Palmer’s homecoming party. He’s the one who invited me to Coldplay.”
From there, I launched into almost a full replay of the concert. I might have left out certain details that my father didn’t exactly need to know. “And you called him yesterday?” my dad asked halfway through my story.
“Yes, I did.”
“He must be incredibly special then if he’s who you turned to for comfort.”
I blinked at my father’s observation. “Yes. Garrett is special. He’s amazing.” My cheeks were hot, and I knew I was blushing. “But his leave is ending in two weeks, and then he will be gone for a year.”
“Does that concern you?”
I shook my head quickly. “No. I’d wait for him forever.” The words were out of my mouth before I could take them back or even comprehend the confession I’d just made to my father.
Dad sighed with relief. “I’ve been waiting for this day. You’re finally in love.”
“No, Dad. It’s way too soon for that. Love takes time.” I paused for a moment before adding, “Doesn’t it?”
“I knew I loved your mother after a week.”
I scrunched up my face. “Can we please not talk about her?” Not when there were harder discussions in the very near future.
“Fine. Then let’s talk about yesterday.”
I sighed heavily because I could feel the tears form instantly. “You’re giving up?”
Our eyes met, and it was like looking in the mirror. He nodded once. “Yes. I’m done fighting. The cancer has spread, and that just means more of everything—more surgery, more chemo, more misery. And the doctors aren’t entirely certain that another surgery or another round of chemotherapy would give me more time.”
More time. That was what I desperately wanted more than anything. Time seemed to be my new enemy, and it was robbing me of my heart.
“How much time do we have?”
“A few more months, six, hopefully. Maybe a year.” God, I hoped for a year. A lot could happen in a year. There were still plenty of good days left in a year but a few months? What could we do then?
“So you want to come home then? When?”
“It will happen in the next few days. There are arrangements to make, and that takes time.”
“What kind of arrangements?”
“Hospice nurses, mainly, to come in and help. I’ve started to make some of the preparations already. Valerie will go over that information with you.”
I swallowed back the hard lump that formed in my throat and wiped the tears that hadn’t yet been shed. “Okay,” I said. “Are you scared?”
“Only to leave you and your sister alone. You’ve already had one parent abandon you.”
<
br /> There was a soft knock on the door, and Valerie poked her head into the room. “Is it safe for me to come in?”
“Yes. You have some explaining to do,” I said with a grin. I grabbed an éclair from the box and hopped off the bed. I walked over to a small sofa, sat down, and devoured the decadent treat while I watched my sister explain about Dominic. I felt a bit sorry for putting her on the spot but watching her grow increasingly uncomfortable was also incredibly satisfying to my little sister heart.
We stayed with Dad through dinner, talking with him about absolutely nothing. He wanted to know about our everyday lives while still imparting his own personal wisdom.
“You were on the dock last night, Val?” He seemed surprised when Val explained about getting drunk and wandering the rocky beach behind our house.
“Yep. Me and Palmer and some cheap wine,” she said a little too triumphantly.
“You'll want to have that thing replaced soon. It’s a safety hazard. I’ll call Tim Grayson in the morning and make sure he puts it on the schedule.”
I wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to worry about the dock behind our house because we’d get around to fixing it eventually, but it was important to him. “Okay,” Valerie and I both seemed to say together.
“And the carpeting in my bathroom needs to go. I’m ashamed to admit that, but I’ll tell Tim to take care of that too. Maybe it’s time all of the bathrooms get remodeled.”
“Sure,” I replied quietly. These were some of his final wishes.
“Cami, do you think Garrett is pretty handy?” I looked up, surprised.
“Um, I don’t know. Why?”
“Well, I just want to make sure someone’s around to help take care of the house.”
“We’ll just call Tim or Palmer,” I said. “They can schedule repairs for us.”
But what he was really asking was if Garrett was going to step in and be the man of the house after he was gone. And I couldn’t answer that. What if something happened and Garrett was killed during this last assignment? What if we decided to break up while he was gone? There were too many unknowns, but I’d say almost anything right now to put my dad’s mind at ease.
“But I will ask him anyway,” I added, and I immediately saw him relax as some of his worry was assuaged.
Chapter Fifteen
Garrett
As I drove away from Cami’s house, I thought about the conversation I needed to have with Palmer. Clearly, it bothered him that I was with Cami even though he had accepted my apology. For years, he’d talked about Cami like she was some innocent girl-next-door type, nothing more than a little sister. I’d even wondered if she actually existed since he’d never showed us any pictures of her. Now that I knew how very real Cami was, I didn’t blame him. After all, he’d been surrounded by a bunch of horny assholes waiting for fresh material to replenish their spank banks, and Cami would have starred in many fantasies.
It was my fault for not reading between the lines, though. Even though Palmer never explicitly said he was in love with Cami, it was written all over his face. Even now, I foolishly ignored the way he looked at her, the way he agonized over her, refusing to accept her final rejection. The conversation was going to hurt, but the bandage needed to be ripped off.
When I walked into Palmer’s, he and Jackson were engaged in an intense video game battle. I stopped at the entrance to the family room and watched them.
“Are you two fucking serious?” I asked. “You’re playing Call of Duty? Haven’t you seen enough warfare?”
“Where have you been?” Jackson asked, barely looking up from the television screen displaying the digitized images of all-too-familiar scenes. I shook my head in disbelief. We were supposed to be on leave, trying to forget some of this shit.
“Cami called. She found out some news about her dad, and she just needed to talk,” I answered as I walked a few steps into the room.
Palmer paused the game, causing Jackson to unleash a string of profanities, and looked up at me. “Is Alex okay?”
“It’s not my place to say. I’m sure Cami will tell you, though.” I didn’t know enough about Alex’s illness to truly answer anyway.
“So did you do more than just talk?” Jackson grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. I retreated uncomfortably to the doorway because I really didn’t want to talk about that in front of Palmer. He didn’t need me constantly rubbing it in that I was with the woman he’s loved unrequited for years.
“Let it drop,” I said to Jackson.
“Oh, come on! Spill the juicy details.” I growled because Jackson was treading on some very thin ice. Palmer looked like he was either going to be sick or punch something.
“Jackson,” I warned him. “Stop.”
“Dude.” Jackson’s teasing expression became serious as he stared at me with surprise. “You’re in love.”
I narrowed my eyes but looked away. “Fuck off. No, I’m not. Is Cami special? Hell, yes. But I’m not in love. No way.”
“Palmer, Garrett is in love with your precious Cami!” Jackson’s laughter was practically hysterical, and he didn’t even notice the intense stare down that Palmer and I were now locked in. It was clear I had claimed something he thought was his.
In a flash, Palmer was on me with his fists wrapped tightly in my T-shirt. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he seethed. He shook me but let go quickly. “Why, Garrett? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“What the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with you, Palmer?” I demanded. Jackson stopped laughing and watched us cautiously. He knew better than to interfere and would only step in if it got physical. “Val said you were talking shit about me last night. Apparently, when I’m on leave, I fuck anything with a pussy.”
Palmer looked away, but I could see the tension in his jaw. “Cami was supposed to be mine. You should have stayed away.”
“You don’t think I tried? Do you really think I wanted to ruin our friendship? You’re like my brother, Palmer.” For the entire week while I was back home, I tortured myself over wanting Cami so bad but not wanting to ruin my friendship with Palmer. And when I returned to Gig Harbor and took one look at her, I knew that all hope was lost. Hurting Palmer was the last thing that I wanted to do.
“Then maybe you didn’t try hard enough because you and Cami getting together happened way too easily,” Palmer spat out. Where the fuck was all of this anger coming from? What else had I done to piss him off?
“I’m sorry if that’s how it appeared. But I heard her tell you more than once that she only wanted friendship. You had to know that she was never going to be yours.”
That was the wrong thing to say. Palmer caught me off guard and landed a nasty blow right in my gut. I doubled over from the intensity of his punch. I waited for the second hit, but it didn’t come. “Get the fuck out of my house,” he spat before walking away.
Poor Jackson was stuck in the middle. I could see the battle between chasing after Palmer and staying to talk with me.
“Is she worth it?” he asked quietly, making his way over to see if I needed help. I brushed away his offered hand and slowly stood. There was definitely going to be a bruise.
“Yes,” I said with finality. “Now let’s go get drunk.”
I made my way through Palmer’s house to the guest room where I was staying and packed my duffel. Palmer sulked in the family room, staring stonily out the window. I didn’t bother with a goodbye. Jackson offered a hand for my duffel, and I handed it off before following him out to my car.
I had no clue where I was going, but it was easy enough to just drive around and find a bar. I’d figure out where to stay later. We pulled into the parking lot of the first one that looked like a decent hole-in-the-wall. Jackson didn’t utter a word or ask a single question until we were both firmly planted in a dark booth with a round of beers in front of us.
“So you want to talk about what just happened?” His voice was casual but cautious.
“Nope.�
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“Well, that’s too bad.” Jackson took a long pull on his beer and stared at me for a few intense seconds. “You knew that Palmer was in love with her.”
“He never said anything,” I said defensively.
“But you knew, Garrett.”
I sighed. “Of course, I knew. Who couldn’t figure it out? But he always talked about her like she was some kind of little sister.”
“And you went after her anyway.”
I nodded. “Yes, Jackson. She wasn’t dating him or anyone else. Jesus.”
Before this conversation continued, I walked up to the bar and asked for a shot of bourbon. I downed it and immediately asked for a second. Beer was not strong enough for Jackson’s inquisition.
“Listen,” I said, slipping back into the dark booth. I sipped my second shot, savoring the burn as it slid down my throat. “If Palmer wanted her so badly, then he should have done something about it. But he didn’t.”
“That’s not the point, Garrett, and you know it.”
My fist slammed angrily down onto the table. “I know! I understand exactly what you’re saying, but you’re not listening to me, Jackson. I couldn’t stop myself even if I tried. I’m in love with her.”
Jackson blew out a breath, and I looked up at him, shocked by my own admission. Wasn’t I just denying that I was in love? I picked up the remnants of my shot and downed it. Honesty tasted a lot better with alcohol.
“Damn, Garrett. Going back is going to be a bitch this time, isn’t it?”
“Yep. Going out to scout will feel different now.”
We sat in silence for a long while, drinking another round of beer. Scouting was just a part of my job, something I had to do, and I had always been willing to surrender my life for the men I led. I hadn’t yet thought about the effect Cami would have on my judgment, my focus, my priorities. Would I still be willing to risk my life for my men? Of course. I was their leader.
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