The day was quite beautiful and sunny. Plenty of tourists were around, renting kayaks and boats for the day. We stopped every so often to browse through one of the many stores. I guided Garrett down toward a marina, and we admired some of the boats that were docked there.
“We should probably go to the hospital,” I finally told Garrett as we made our way back to Harborview Drive from one of the side streets. “If my dad doesn’t know that my mom is back yet, then he needs to know before she shows up.”
“Okay. I want to stop back into one place, though, before we leave,” he replied, leading me back toward a row of stores.
We stopped in front of a jewelry store, and Garrett asked me to wait outside. I obliged him because whatever he was doing seemed important. He wasn’t gone long, only a few minutes, and when he returned, he greeted me with a smile and then a firm kiss. I looked down at the small bag that dangled from his fingers but didn’t ask him about it.
“Thank you for today,” I said quietly when we made it back to the car. I stepped toward him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Settling my head against his chest, I could hear the soft murmur of his heartbeat.
“It’s not over yet,” he responded, wrapping one arm around me.
As we drove to the hospital, I mentally prepared what I was going to say to my father. I had to remind myself that he was the one who initiated this; he went looking for her. I wanted to be angry with him for doing that behind our backs, but I couldn’t find it in me to be mad. He still loved my mom and didn’t resent her for leaving, which was astounding. I hoped one day to be able to have that level of forgiveness.
Garrett held my hand firmly as we made our way up to my dad’s floor. I’d rehearsed what I was going to say to him, so when Garrett stopped short of his door, I wasn’t paying attention.
“What’s wrong?” I asked confused. He pointed toward the open door of my father’s room, and we could see my mother sitting on the edge of his bed. She was leaning over him, brushing his hair back and smiling. And he was returning her smile! Valerie was sitting on a small sofa underneath a window watching the entire reunion unfold.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” I growled under my breath. I started to march forward, but Garrett stopped me.
“Whoa there,” he said, pulling me back into a private corner. “You need to calm down before you go in there like a bull in a china shop.”
I rolled my eyes and huffed angrily, which made Garrett chuckle before he distracted me with a toe-curling kiss. “Okay, I’m calm,” I reassured him when we broke apart. He studied me carefully as we stood together in the corner until my breathing was a little more even and my heart rate steadied.
“Good. Try to stay that way,” he insisted as he coaxed me out of our private moment and toward my father’s room.
My father saw me first, and his bright smile made me feel guilty for even thinking about causing a scene at the hospital. “Cami,” he said, reaching out a hand. I couldn’t resist. I rushed forward, ignoring that my mother still sat on his bed, and grasped his hand. He pulled me down for a hug, and that was when the tears started. With his free hand, he stroked my back lightly and whispered soothing words in my ear. “It’ll be all right, Cami. It’ll be all right.”
“I’m so angry,” I whispered so that only he could hear. He nodded his understanding, and I backed away and stood. I swiped my fingers under my eyes, wiping away the fresh pool of tears, and sought the comfort of Garrett.
“Garrett, it’s wonderful to see you again,” my father said.
“Sir.” Garrett nodded at my father.
“Well, now that we’re all here,” my mother interjected. I stared at her coldly; she didn’t have a say in any of this. My body tensed against Garrett, who placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “Tell me, what’s the prognosis? What do the doctors say?”
My mother looked expectantly at Valerie and me. It was remarkable how similar my mother and I looked. Her wild curls were tamer and streaked with gray, and her eyes had lines around them. Her skin was tanned, which made me wonder if she spent a lot of time outdoors wherever she lived. Seeing her made me wonder if that was what my future held. I quickly dashed that thought from my mind because our similarities were only physical. I could never abandon my family.
Valerie spoke first. “It’s not good. He’s already had surgery and chemotherapy, but the cancer was more advanced than the doctors originally thought.”
“I have less than a year, Alicia,” my father said solemnly.
A sob escaped from my mother’s lips, and she covered her mouth to suppress the rest. Valerie went over to her and put a comforting arm around her shoulders. My father extended his hand and grasped hers. Seeing them act as though nothing happened, as if she had never left, was too much for me. I turned on my heel and headed for the door, ready to run, but strong hands reached out and stopped me.
“Stay,” he whispered.
“I can’t,” I replied with a shaky voice.
“He needs you,” Garrett reminded me.
Tears started to stream down my face, and I could taste their saltiness on my lips. “I can’t watch this. Let me have this one moment of weakness. Please.”
With a nod, Garrett released his hold of me, and I escaped, rushing through the corridors of the hospital, searching for an exit. Why should we comfort her? Who was there to comfort us when my dad was first diagnosed? Who did we have to lean on? Only each other. I’d suppressed every fear and spent many lonely nights crying because my father needed my strength. I was strong for him and for Valerie, but I wouldn’t be strong for that woman. She didn’t deserve it. My mother didn’t deserve to cry in the hospital room like her entire world was crumbling around her because she had left everything behind the day I turned eighteen.
My mindless escape led me to the front of the hospital, and I sat down on a familiar bench. This was not how I should be spending my last moments with Garrett and my last few months with my father.
“There you are.” Valerie’s voice was breathless as she sat next to me. “Why did you run out like that?”
“Are you kidding me right now, Valerie? Did you see that show Mom put on?”
“It wasn’t a show, Cami. She’s upset. We need to be there for each other.”
I was one second away from blowing my top. “I don’t understand how you can forgive her so easily, Valerie. I just don’t get it.”
Valerie sighed next to me. “I’m about to lose one parent. I don’t really want to lose another.”
I understood Valerie’s point, and I wanted to agree with her, march back up to my father’s room, and hug my mother hard and forgive her. But her leaving that day—my eighteenth birthday—was the act of ultimate betrayal.
I remember waking up on my eighteenth birthday, eager to celebrate with my friends. My parents were letting me stay home from school, and my mom promised to take me to Seattle for a day of shopping before coming back home for a girls’ night with my best friends. The thought of macarons from Le Panier and Beecher’s world-famous macaroni and cheese made me practically giddy. I raced through my morning routine and then downstairs where my mom sat quietly at the kitchen table.
“I’m ready,” I announced eagerly.
My mother looked up from her coffee cup solemnly and motioned for me to sit down across from her. “We’re not going to Seattle today, Cami.”
“We’re not? But we’ve had the whole day planned for weeks! Did something happen?”
My mother sighed and sat back in the kitchen chair. She clicked her perfectly manicured red nail on the side of her mug and looked up at me. “I know you won’t understand this, but for the past twenty-five years, I’ve given you and your sister everything I possibly could. I’ve sacrificed so much for you both, and now that you’re eighteen, it’s time for me to start living.”
I was so confused. What exactly was my mother telling me? The house was quiet because no one else but us was home. And then I spotted them—the suitc
ases stacked neatly by the front door. I glanced back at my mother whose expression remained stoic. Cold even.
“Are you going on a trip?” I asked, hopeful that those suitcases were meant for something more benign than the reasons that were starting to form in my thoughts.
“No, Cami.”
I didn’t want to say the awful truth out loud. “You’re leaving,” I whispered. I held her gaze and demanded the answers to questions that I wasn’t brave enough to ask. For a few seconds, I thought I saw something waver in her armor, but it was gone in an instant.
She glanced away, the muscles in her jaw tense, and stood. She gripped the back of the chair and was quiet before she spoke again. “I want you to know that I do love you, Camille. I love your father and Valerie, too. But sometimes, love isn’t enough to keep a person where they don’t want to be.”
And then she was gone.
“Sometimes love isn’t enough,” I murmured, echoing the last words my mother said to me.
“What?” Valerie asked.
“Nothing.” From the corner of my eye, I saw Garrett standing close by, watching us carefully. I stood, resolved. I loved my father and Valerie, but it wasn’t enough to forgive my mother. “I can’t handle this right now, Val. Garrett is leaving tomorrow, and I feel like my heart is going to split in two. Mom has had seven years to come back. She can wait for me.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Garrett
For the rest of the day, Cami was unusually quiet. We returned to the guest house, and when I told her to pack an overnight bag, she didn’t bat an eye. She just did it. Something was bothering her, but I wasn’t going to pressure her into talking, not until she was calm enough to talk without exploding into anger. As we drove to Palmer’s for one last dinner, I hoped that maybe she would open up.
When we arrived, Palmer greeted us with a concerned expression. He knew about Alicia Sorenson’s return. He wrapped Cami in a tight, lingering hug that ordinarily might have set off my inner caveman, but she needed her best friend more than she needed me to be an asshole. Cami walked past us and into the kitchen where she immediately took over. The kitchen was where she found comfort.
“She’s not okay,” Palmer said as we stood in the foyer.
“Nope.” We both watched as Tim Grayson walked into the kitchen and greeted Cami with a warm hug which she didn’t seem to reciprocate. She stood there stiffly until Tim’s arms fell away. Then she stared blankly at the countertop until Lucinda Grayson appeared, distracting her from the pain in her heart with dinner plans.
“Has she been like this all day?” Palmer asked, coming to stand beside me as we watched the two women examine a recipe.
I shook my head. “No. We had a pretty good morning after she calmed down. She’s been like this since we left the hospital.”
“Do you want me to try to talk to her tonight?”
“Sure. But don’t press her too hard, okay?”
When we walked into the kitchen, Cami’s attention was on Jackson. Her face and body were relaxed, and there was a smile on her face. Seeing her laid back and happy like that made me very happy too. She was taking the time to get to know him more by asking him about what he liked to eat. Because Jackson had been a foster kid, he hadn’t grown up enjoying fresh-baked goodies, and now they were one of his vices. I shook my head at their silly but endearing conversation as she tried to teach Jackson how to make brownies from scratch.
“But why can’t I just use the box?” Jackson griped, holding up a box of brownie mix. Cami took it from him and threw it in the trash.
“Jackson, do you want brownies or not?” she demanded.
“Yes,” he answered.
“And are they your favorite dessert?”
“Yes.”
“Then don’t eat that boxed shit ever again.” She efficiently gathered all of the ingredients and arranged them on the counter, then walked Jackson through each step of making the batter. It was sweet to watch her instruct and praise him whenever he did something correctly because he soaked up her encouragement. She wasn’t shy about taking his hand and showing him how to perform each step, and he seemed eager to learn everything she had to offer. As they poured the batter into two pans, she looked up and asked him with expectant eyes, “Wasn’t that fun?”
“Yes, but a box would have been quicker,” Jackson replied teasingly. I stepped in and held back my fiery beauty before she stabbed him with something sharp.
“Whoa there, tiger,” I said with a kiss to the side of her head. “I know those are fighting words to you, but he doesn’t know any better.”
Cami flicked her spatula, still full of gooey, chocolatey batter, in Jackson’s direction. He laughed as he swiped at splashes of batter on his face with a paper towel. “That’s what you get for eating box brownies.”
Seeing Cami start to come around and be present at the moment put me at ease, but it was short-lived. Once we sat down for dinner, she was back inside her head. I had no idea what kept her mind so occupied, but selfishly, I hoped that it wouldn’t distract from our last night together. I wanted all of her—body, heart, and mind—tonight.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I took it out to look at the caller. Oliver. He was returning my call from earlier. I quickly excused myself from the dinner table and stepped out onto the back deck.
“Hey, Ollie. Thanks for calling me back,” I greeted him.
“No problem. Glad I get the chance to talk to you before you deploy again.”
“This is it, my last tour. Next year, we’ll be producing wine together.”
“I’m looking forward to it, Garrett.” I could hear the smile in his voice, and I knew I was doing the right thing by finally agreeing to help run the winery.
“I need to ask you to do me a huge favor, Oliver.”
“Sure, Garrett. What is it?”
“I’m in love,” I said on an exhale of breath. “She’s it. She’s the one I’ve been waiting my entire life to find.”
“Whoa. Shouldn’t you be telling her this and not me?”
I chuckled lightly. “I’m planning on it.” I looked through the patio doors and watched as Cami methodically cleared the table. Her face was blank, and once again, I worried about leaving her to deal with all this alone. “If something should happen to me, I need you to contact her, Oliver. I need you to let her know because she’s my family just as much as you and Neil and Dad.”
“Absolutely, Garrett.”
“One last thing, Oliver. It’s pretty big.”
“What is it?”
“I need you to be her family.” For a moment, I hesitated to explain, but Oliver needed to know why I was making such an important request. “She’s about to lose her father. He has cancer, and the doctors are giving him a year, tops. And her mother … well, that’s complicated. I just want to know she will be taken care of. I couldn’t stand the thought of her being alone.”
“Of course, Garrett. I’ve never heard you this nervous about being deployed before.”
I ran a hand through my hair and looked out at the bay. “I’ll be honest with you, Ollie. I’ve got a lot to lose if shit goes south this time. But I’m going to fight like hell to make sure I come back in one piece.”
“Don’t be a hero, okay, Garrett? Just … just …” Oliver’s voice trailed off, but I knew what he meant. My dad always told us to keep our noses clean. That was what he wanted.
“I know, Ollie. Thank you. This means the world to me.” We talked for a while longer. For the first time, I wished that I was back in Healdsburg so that we could have this time together. All of that was going to change when I returned. After telling him I would email him Cami’s contact information when I returned to base, our phone call ended.
I leaned against the railing of Palmer’s deck, my arms stretched wide on either side, and I blew out a breath of air. Shit, I was so nervous about this deployment. There was more at stake this time, and that weighed heavy on my conscience. But I would do my job, serve my c
ountry, and when my time was up, I would return to the life I finally wanted to lead and to the woman I wanted to love forever.
I turned to head back inside at the exact moment Valerie and Alicia walked into the house. Fuck. Couldn’t a guy catch a break? What were they even doing at Palmer’s house? My eyes instantly went to Cami, who was in the kitchen washing dishes and hadn’t noticed their arrival yet. Palmer noticed me out on the deck and shot me a worried glance. This was not what Cami needed.
The moment I stepped inside, I had a choice to make. Distract Cami until they left or confront Valerie and Alicia and tell them to leave. Cami was blissfully unaware as she stood in front of the sink with her hands buried deep in soapy water. She looked so beautiful with her hair loose and wild, her curls cascading down her back. She wore a long, floral print dress with thin straps that left the smooth skin of her arms and shoulders bare, making my mouth water.
I walked up behind her, circled my hands around her waist, and buried my nose in her hair, inhaling her familiar jasmine scent. She stilled and leaned back against me, a content smile tugging at her lips. She hummed with approval as I lightly kissed her cheek.
“You’re amazing,” I breathed out. “And I don’t deserve you.”
Her smile grew wider. “What did I do to deserve such high praise?”
“You took the time to teach Jackson to bake. He hasn’t had a lot of those moments.”
“That’s so awful,” she murmured thoughtfully. “I hope he marries someone amazing who bakes for him all the time.”
“Me too,” I replied. It was hard not to give her my full attention when I had one eye trained on the doorway and one ear listening for raised voices. As long as I was in here with her, perhaps she wouldn’t know her mother had arrived.
The conversation in the hallway got louder, and I felt Cami stiffen as she picked out the sound of her mother’s voice. Her shoulders tensed as she turned her face toward the doorway.
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