“I’ll follow your lead,” Palmer said as he walked beside me.
The rustic tasting room was illuminated by natural light pouring in from countless windows. The walls were painted white, and the floors were a beautiful golden hardwood. There weren’t many people seated at the bar, which was where I headed. Immediately, I recognized Oliver because he had the same dark chestnut hair as Garrett and similar angular features. When he looked up and saw me, his eyes were the same molten brown. I stopped dead in my tracks, overcome by emotion. Oliver looked past me, and recognition flashed in his eyes.
“Palmer?” He rounded the bar and started walking toward Palmer with an easy smile. “Palmer, what are you doing here?”
Palmer seemed to be at a loss for words. He looked at me for help, but I was useless. Oliver faced me and then looked back at Palmer, his smile even wider.
“Hey, Oliver,” Palmer finally managed, taking Oliver’s outstretched hand.
“I can’t believe you’re here. Is this your girlfriend?” Oliver let go of Palmer’s hand and extended his hand toward me. “Hi, I’m Oliver Hammond.”
“Oh, I’m not …” I stumbled over my own words as my hand slipped into Oliver’s. “I’m not Palmer’s girlfriend.”
“Oliver, this is Cami,” Palmer offered.
“Cami?” Oliver whispered my name until his eyes grew wide with recognition. “Cami? Garrett’s girlfriend?”
Garrett and I hadn’t ever placed labels on each other even though he did place a ring on my finger. It was slightly jarring to hear myself referred to as Garrett’s “girlfriend,” but I guess that was what I was.
Unexpectedly, Oliver drew me into his embrace, hugging me tightly. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he murmured.
A woman cleared her throat, and we broke apart. Oliver turned toward the woman who approached us with an infant snuggled in her arms and smiled wide. He held out his arm, signaling her to join us.
“Tabitha, this is Garrett’s girlfriend, Cami, and his friend, Palmer.” Oliver reached out, gently lifted the tiny bundle from his wife’s arms, and held the baby so that she faced us. “And this little one is Zoe.”
Tabitha greeted us, and we all moved toward the bar. I couldn’t help but glance at the new baby cradled in her father’s arms. Garrett didn’t even know that his family was now slightly bigger.
“Are you two hungry? Do you want some wine?” Tabitha offered, placing menus in front of us. My stomach growled, and I realized that I was hungrier than I realized.
“Lunch sounds great,” I said. “And I’d love a glass of the Burnham Hill Rosé.” I recognized the name immediately because it was the wine Garrett and I shared out on the dock. Oliver smiled appreciatively and handed little Zoe back to Tabitha before setting a glass in front of me.
“So, what brings you out to Healdsburg?” Oliver asked as he filled my glass with the delicious wine. Tabitha handed little baby Zoe back to Oliver who accepted her into his arms with a sweet smile. Tabitha disappeared into a room behind the bar and returned moments later with a plate of antipasto, which she set down between Palmer and me.
“It’s been a rough couple of months for me, and my father recently passed,” I began. “I needed to get away and somehow feel connected with Garrett for a bit.”
Oliver’s eyes shifted nervously toward Tabitha, who met his gaze with her own worried look. “Well, we’re happy to have you. Where are you staying?”
“In downtown Healdsburg,” Palmer informed them.
“You should stay in the guest house,” Tabitha insisted. “It’s starting to pick up, but luckily, there isn’t anyone using it right now. It’s only one bedroom, but there’s plenty of room.”
My heart started to pound wildly in my chest. Garrett talked about his love for his family’s land all of the time; it was the siren song that brought him back willingly to the family business. Oliver’s offer gave me the opportunity to connect with that piece of Garrett, and I wanted it.
“Thank you,” I said eagerly. “We’d love that.”
Palmer shot me a look, and I just smiled and shrugged. I couldn’t explain it to him because it would make me sound like a crazy person.
“There’s a pull-out couch,” Oliver added, which seemed to relieve Palmer. “Finish up your lunch, and then I’ll walk you over.”
I nodded, maybe a little too eagerly, and continued nibbling at the delicious meats and cheeses that filled the plate Tabitha brought out. While we waited for Oliver to finish with customers, I wandered around the tasting room. I picked up a few odds and ends that were for sale before walking over to a wall that had a few large framed photos on it. One was completely black and white and seemed to be from when the winery first opened, before Garrett’s father inherited it. Another photo showed Garrett’s father standing in the doorway of the big white main house, smiling proudly and holding a wine bottle. I moved to the last image, a family photo. I could easily pick out Garrett and Oliver from their similar features and quickly surmised that the young boy was Neil. He was so small compared to his much larger brothers and was fairer. He had sandy brown hair, which must have come from their mother. I lifted my eyes to locate their mother. She stood next to Garrett’s father with her arm around his waist and was beaming. She was proud of him. It was so evident from the way she smiled and the way her attention was completely focused on him.
“Are you ready to go?” Oliver’s voice startled me, and I turned to face him and Palmer. Oliver noticed where I stood and walked over. “That’s my mother, Olivia, and my father, Jacob. I’m sure Garrett already told you this, but she passed away. She had cancer too.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “You must miss her terribly.”
“Every day,” he replied with a nod.
“Does it get any easier?” Oliver knew what I was going through, and he knew what I was asking. I would always miss my father, but the ache in my chest, the gaping hole that opened up the minute he passed, hurt so damn bad.
“No,” Oliver choked out.
Palmer cleared his throat, distracting us from our grief. I swiped at the tears that seemed endless and followed Oliver out toward the guest house. Palmer left me there momentarily to head back for our rental car and bags. I wandered the small space, trying to get a sense of Garrett, but he wasn’t there.
I could see the rows and rows of vines from the many windows and decided to head out, knowing that if I wanted to ease this ache for a moment, I’d find relief there. I started walking slowly, examining the vines that were still full of leaves even if their fruit had already been harvested. My head popped up as I heard a rustling of leaves and crunching of earth. I twirled around to see if someone was approaching and saw a familiar head of chestnut hair.
“Garrett,” I called out. My feet carried me quickly toward the familiar form. “Garrett!”
My heart hammered wildly, and my hands started to shake as I reached out toward him. What was he doing here? Did he come home early?
“Hey, baby,” he greeted me with a half-smile that made my knees weak. He was wearing a plaid button down and a pair of khaki pants. He held his arms out to me, beckoning me. “I missed you so much.”
I rushed toward him, my vision blurred with tears. “I can’t believe you’re here,” I wailed. The moment my arms clasped around his waist, he was gone, and I fell to my knees. Frustrated, I banged my fists on the hard ground until they ached.
“Where are you?” I yelled.
The sound of feet rushing toward me renewed my hope, but it was quickly dashed when I looked up and saw Palmer heading toward me.
“What’s wrong?” he called out. When he was close enough, he slid his hands under my arms and lifted. “Are you hurt?”
“No,” I replied, my voice numb and hollow.
“What happened?” His eyes inspected me, searching for signs of injury, and when he finally met my cold gaze, he seemed to understand. “You miss him?”
“What if something’s wrong? What if he’s hurt?
”
“Oliver would have called you,” Palmer reassured me. He was right. We were together minutes before in the tasting room, and if something was wrong, then he would have told me immediately. “Why don’t you take a nap or something? Valerie said you don’t sleep much.”
Sleep? It was almost laughable. Since my father died, it seemed to evade me, and the only time I got any was with the help of medication. But it seemed like a good idea; medicating myself so that my brain shut off for a few hours.
“That sounds like exactly what I need,” I reassured him.
“Great. Oliver told me about this Italian restaurant in town called Scopa. I’ll call and see if they have a table available for tonight.”
I nodded my approval and followed him as we walked back to the guest house. Inside, I located my small carry-on suitcase and searched for the pills that would give me a few hours of peace and quiet.
“Here.” Palmer handed me a bottle of water, and when I gave him a questioning look, he said, “I know you well enough to read your mind, Cami. Just take one, okay? I don’t want to dine alone.”
I smiled weakly as I accepted the water and unscrewed the cap before taking a sip and swallowing down the tiny white pill. “Thank you,” I said, giving him a weak hug. I shuffled slowly through the house until I found the bedroom.
The bed was perfectly made with a downy white comforter and more pillows than should be allowed, but it looked like heaven. I didn’t even bother to undress; I just removed my shoes, before flopping down and curling beneath the covers. It wasn’t long before my mind went blank, and I found peace in a dreamless sleep.
Dinner was a disaster. I felt like a robot, just going through the motions. That was the downside of the pills that helped me sleep. They left me in a fog. When I woke up the next morning, I had a hard time even remembering what I had eaten, but it was easy to remember the apparition of Garrett I imagined in the vineyard.
The smell of coffee motivated me, and I quickly dressed before greeting Palmer. He smiled brightly as he handed me a cup of coffee. “I thought we could go out today and see some of the other wineries in the area,” he said, waving a few brochures.
“That sounds like a great idea.” I glanced out at the property; I couldn’t stay here. No matter how much I missed Garrett, I didn’t want to be haunted by these hallucinations. Coming here was supposed to make me stronger, not weaker.
“Oliver suggested a few, so I thought we’d have breakfast and then head into town and pick up some lunch.” I zoned out listening to the rest of Palmer’s carefully crafted plan. He was so sweet, trying to distract me and take care of me while I grieved the loss of my father and worried over Garrett.
I agreed to his plan and ate the breakfast he prepared. He watched me carefully the entire time, his entire body tense and ready to act the moment I appeared distressed. After we finished eating, I cleaned up the dishes, and Palmer left to meet Oliver in the tasting room.
“I’ll be right behind you,” I said as cheerfully as I could manage. The moment he was out of sight, I scrambled to my backpack and pulled out my laptop. Palmer made me promise before we left not to check my email, and yesterday, I put on a show for him even though my fingers itched to open it up and log on. But today, I couldn’t hold back any longer. I needed to know if there was an email waiting for me.
I fidgeted nervously while I waited first for my computer to boot and then for it to connect to the winery’s Wi-Fi. When my email server’s homepage popped up, I quickly typed in my log-in credentials and waited. My excitement was short-lived once I realized that my inbox was nothing more than a list of junk. There was nothing from Garrett. Disappointed, I logged off and shut down my computer. I slipped my laptop back inside my backpack and then headed out to meet Palmer in the tasting room.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Cami
Palmer and Oliver were locked in an intense discussion when I stepped into the tasting room. They didn’t seem to notice me at first, but Tabitha cleared her throat, and the two men finally looked up. The moment they realized I was in the room, they stopped talking, and everything became still.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, trying to keep the panic in my voice from rising.
“Cami,” Palmer said, approaching me slowly.
“Palmer, just tell me.”
“Sit down,” he commanded gently.
I reached out for the closest chair and gripped the edge of it while I lowered myself to sit. “What happened to Garrett?”
“Cami,” Oliver said cautiously. “Garrett is missing.”
“What?” I stood abruptly before crumpling back down on the seat of the chair. “For how long?”
“About two weeks,” Oliver said slowly. “I’m sorry, I thought you knew. I lost your phone number, but I had your email written down. I sent you an email as soon as Jackson called to tell us.”
“Jackson wasn’t with him?” My relief knowing that Jackson was still alive was temporary.
“He was, but he couldn’t tell me a whole lot about what happened. He wasn’t even supposed to call me.”
Oliver’s news replayed over and over in my head. “You said you emailed me? I check my email every day, but I never got an email.”
“Maybe it went into your spam folder?”
I shook my head. “No. I check that too because Garrett’s last email ended up there.”
Oliver’s brow creased with confusion. “Maybe I got your email address wrong.” He stood and told us that he was going to get his laptop so that he could double check.
“Palmer?” I turned to see the impressive figure of Jacob Hammond standing just inside the tasting room. He walked toward us with his arm extended, ready to greet Palmer. “It’s so good to see you.”
Palmer and Jacob shook hands firmly, greeting one another with a familiarity that I envied. “It’s good to see you too, sir.”
“You heard about Garrett?” Jacob asked. His voice was gruff, and he seemed like a no-nonsense kind of guy. There were no pleasantries to exchange; it was all about getting down to business.
“Yes, sir. I’m very sorry.”
“It wouldn’t have happened if you were still enlisted,” Jacob told him with a wink before he finally noticed me. “Is this your girlfriend?”
But Palmer didn’t have the chance to respond because Oliver returned to the tasting room with his laptop open and set it down on the table. “Okay, Cami. This is the email address I used.”
“Oliver? What’s going on?” This was clearly the awkward moment when someone had to explain to Jacob Hammond exactly who I was.
“Dad, this is Cami,” Oliver said.
“Cami, it’s very nice to meet you,” Jacob said pleasantly, but it was obvious that he was still clueless.
I wanted to stand and introduce myself properly to him, but my eyes were drawn to the email on the screen.
“Oliver, that’s my email. It’s correct,” I informed him.
He made a noise of disbelief, but I tuned him out as I read the email.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Garrett
Hi Cami—
This is Oliver Hammond, Garrett’s brother. I have some news about Garrett, but I lost your phone number, so I’m emailing you instead. I hope you don’t mind, and you won’t be too mad. Jackson just called to let us know that Garrett is missing. He couldn’t give us much more detail since we’re not supposed to know just yet.
If I hear anything else, I will let you know. I know that you’ve been through a lot lately so please do not hesitate to reach out if you need anything. I made a promise to my brother to make you a part of this family.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Oliver
The chair scraped against the hardwood floor and fell over as I stood quickly and raced from the tasting room. I ran to the guest house and frantically unlocked the door. When the front door swung open, I burst inside and scrambled for my ba
ckpack that still sat on the couch. My fingers shook as I fumbled with the zipper and pulled my computer free. I was impatient, urging the computer to boot faster and then for it to connect to the internet. I entered my information incorrectly several times before I was finally in my email. I scrolled through the inbox, scrutinizing every single sender and subject line before heading to the spam folder. The email that I just read on Oliver’s computer was not in my inbox. With one last shred of hope, I checked my trash folder, but there was nothing.
Frustrated and enraged, I grasped my computer and threw it against the ground. No, no, no. This was not happening! For two weeks, I waited and waited, checking my email daily almost to the point of obsession. Two weeks.
“What the fuck?” I screamed. “How could you do this to me?”
I had no idea who I was even addressing, but I couldn’t keep these emotions bottled tightly. The broken computer on the floor was so symbolic of exactly how I felt. Broken. Shattered. In pieces.
Palmer and Oliver rushed into the guest house, their expressions mirror images of worry. Palmer noticed the broken laptop first and immediately reached out to me. “Oh, Cami,” he said sympathetically. I practically crawled into his outstretched arms, a broken sobbing mess.
“Why didn’t it come? Why didn’t I get that email?”
“I don’t know, sweetheart,” he said softly, stroking my hair. “There are a million explanations, but I know that none of them are going to make you feel any better.”
Oliver knelt and gently picked up the remnants of my computer. He placed them on the coffee table in front of the couch and then knelt in front of me. “What can I do, Cami? I’m so sorry,” he said tearfully.
“I saw him,” I whispered. “Yesterday, when I was in the vineyard. He loves this land so much, and I saw him. But then he was gone.”
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