by Amy DeMeritt
“It’s nice to meet you. We, uh, ran into an unexpected scheduling issue.”
His smile falters some, and he retracts his hand to stand upright. “Did we lose the job before we even started?”
“No, no, nothing like that. Our families decided to surprise us and showed up today without warning and more are on the way. We have no idea what their arrangements are in terms of hotels or anything. We just need a day to figure everything out and make everyone aware of what you guys will be doing this week so no one gets in your way. It’s entirely up to you guys, but if you’re interested, we’d like to make you lunch. We’ll barbeque, relax, and swap stories. We’ll have plenty of food and drinks, so if you have significant others and children, you’re more than welcome to go pick them up and come back. Oh, and I’m still going to pay you for today, whatever you decide. If you’d rather have the day to do whatever, that’s fine.”
He smiles in an appreciative way and straightens his back, making him appear even taller. “That’s pretty decent of you. Ok, count us in. But please put us to work if you need to. We’ve been around our fair share of barbeques, so we can definitely be of use.”
“Ok, thanks for being understanding.”
“No worries. Let me talk to my crew and see if they’d like to go pick up their families.”
I watch him walk back to the caravan of trucks and vans parked on the exiting side of the turnabout. Seven men and four women get out of the vehicles and huddle around him to receive the news. Their faces mimic Rod’s almost perfectly as when I had explained everything to him. At first, they look crestfallen, but then smile and look towards me and the house. All of them pull out their cellphones and fan out.
I notice one woman leaning against a truck with her arms crossed over her chest and one foot up, resting against the door of the truck. She’s looking at the ground as if she’s waiting for it to explode. She looks like she’s about my age, or maybe a few years older. She’s average height and probably about a size ten with nice curves, even in the baggy tee shirt and loose jeans she’s wearing. She suddenly looks up and our eyes lock for a moment before she looks away towards the iron gate at the end of the driveway. She’s pretty with a rough edge, but she looks sad.
It’s not until I’m standing two feet in front of her that I realize I have moved. She looks at me with a blank expression but doesn’t say anything.
“Hi, I’m Kayla.”
“I know. I’m Rodriguez.”
“Do you have a first name, or do you really prefer to be called by your last name?”
“Old habits. You can call me Jo, spelled J-o.”
“Ok. Is that short for Josephine?”
She steps forward, getting in my face and pops her chest against mine. Her face is contorted in anger and her fists are clenched.
“Never call me that.”
“No problem. Do you want to help me build a fire or do you have someone you want to go pick up?”
She inhales deeply through her nose, filling her chest with air, causing her body to press tighter against mine. She looks confused and taken off guard. I haven’t awarded her with a look of shock or fear and I can tell she’s unnerved by my lack of disorientation from her aggressive stance.
“I don’t have anyone to pick up.”
“Ok, we’ll go play with fire. Come on.”
I take a step back and wave her forward. The rest of her crew is looking on in panic, as if Jo’s temper is about to lose them this job. I give them a friendly smile to try to calm their worry.
“Anyone else staying?”
“I think we’re all leaving, right?” Rod looks around at his crew, and everyone slowly nods, still keeping an eye on Jo.
“Ok, I’ll see you guys soon.” I wave to them as I turn to walk towards the house and Jo gets in line next to me. “Can I ask you what branch you were in?”
“Army – six years.”
“Wow. Thank you for your service. I…”
“You don’t need to do this.”
“Do what?”
“Pretend to be interested in getting to know me.”
“I’m not pretending.”
Jo stops and looks at me with a tight jaw and narrowed eyes. She licks her lips once to moisten them, then starts walking again.
“You’re welcome.”
I smile to myself at her delayed response and wait till we reach the firepit to say anything.
“This is where we’ll do most of the cooking. The wood is behind the back of the house. I have a wagon in the barn we can use to bring it over here.”
Since Madison found a nice location to run the merchandise business, the bottom level of the barn has been converted back into a studio apartment on one end with a wall separating the storage and lawn equipment. Jo glances around with a look of intrigue, but she doesn’t say anything. I pull the wagon out, then lead the way to the giant neatly stacked oak wood pile against the back of the house.
“Do you like contractor work?”
“It’s work. It pays the bills.”
“What would you do, if you could do whatever you want?”
Jo tosses a piece of wood in the wagon and gives me a very irritated look. “What are you doing? Is this some kind of ‘grant a wish’ interview or something?”
“Uh, no, I’m just trying to get to know you.”
“Whatever. You and I both know you don’t have any interest in getting to know any of us. This is probably a publicity stunt for you.”
“How is gathering firewood to make a fire with you a publicity stunt?”
She rolls her eyes as she tosses a couple of pieces of wood into the wagon. “You know what I mean. Hiring us. You’re just doing this to make yourself look good.”
“Most of my life is constantly in the media. The kind of person I am is pretty well-known. But I don’t know anything about you, yet I still let you onto my property. And even with how rude you’re being, I still haven’t kicked you off of my property yet because I actually do have an interest in getting to know people for who they really are. I don’t judge a person based off generalized prejudices.”
Jo grabs my wrist as I reach out to grab a piece of wood, but I get out of her grip quickly and get her arm locked and bent in a painful way, causing her to fall to her knees.
“Let go. I don’t want to hurt you.”
I release the lock on her wrist and arm and pull her back up to a standing position. She stumbles back and sits on the ground against the house with her knees up and her arms resting on them.
“Talk about it.”
Without looking at me, she spits back, “About what?”
“Whatever this is. Whatever you’re dealing with.”
“I’m not talking to someone like you.”
“Ok, tell me about me then since you seem to think you know me so well. Because whatever you know about me, I’m hearing it for the first time and I’m confused as shit.”
Jo looks up at me and actually releases a small laugh. She licks her lips and shakes her head. Taking a deep breath, she rests her head against the house and looks up at the clear blue sky.
“I still think you’re full of shit for hiring us. We’re good, but we’re not the best. You can afford the best.”
“Well, how about I make you deal? I’m going to go with my gut and trust you’ll do the job just fine. But if you guys fuck it up, I’ll hire the best to redo it. But till then, accept that I actually hired you because I wanted to.”
She rolls her eyes with a smirk and shakes her head. “Whatever.” She exhales slowly through her nose. “I wasn’t planning on ever having to talk to you, probably would have been for the best. This barbeque set me off.”
“How come? You don’t like barbeques?”
“The army is in my blood. My grandparents, parents, and siblings, all of us were army. We lived, breathed, and bled in the army life from the moment we were born, till the moment we died.”
I look at her confused and sit down in front of her. �
�But you’re not dead.”
“I might as well be.” I reach out to take her hand, but she slaps it way. “Don’t.”
“Sorry.” Realization for why the barbeque set her off suddenly hits me in the chest. “You’re the last one?”
“Yes. Everyone died an honorable death on the battlefield. My stupid ass couldn’t even die properly. I had to survive and get medically discharged. Sure, it’s honorable, but it’s weak. It would have been better to die.”
“That’s stupid.”
Jo leaps forward in anger and tries to pin me down, but I use the skills Kelly taught me and I’m able to get her pinned on her chest while I straddle her back, holding her shoulders down. She growls and slams a fist into the ground.
“To clarify, in case you misunderstood, I wasn’t calling you stupid. The idea that it would be better if you had died is stupid. A life cut short, whether on the battlefield or in a car accident is still a waste of life. The honor was won in the bravery to be on the battlefield, not in the death. That is the crazy idea suicide bombers have – not courageous soldiers. The difference between the two is the will and determination to come home and have a life away from the war. You were given a chance to show that courage and willpower. You have faced unimageable hell in your line of work. Now, you have to find the courage to live with the physical and mental scars as a brave and caring human being.”
“I don’t have a home anymore. What don’t you get about that? Everyone I loved died in the war!”
“Look, I can’t even imagine how you must feel. But is that really it? Your heart was tapped out and could only love your family? That’s crap and you know it. You’re capable of loving and being loved. Don’t you think your family would want you to move on and find love and happiness again?”
“Don’t fucking talk about my family like you know them!” Jo tries to buck me off of her, but I force her body back down into the grass.
“Chill out. I’m not your enemy. You are your own enemy right now. I’m not getting off of you till I know you’re settled down and not going to try to attack me again. I really don’t want to have to hurt you.”
“Fuck you! Get off of me!”
Aura comes rushing over and squats down in an attack stance only a few feet in front of us, facing Jo. She releases a few loud angry barks and a deep menacing growl, baring her fangs and causing Jo’s struggling body to tense under me.
“Aura, sit.”
Aura slowly sits on her hindlegs but keeps her eyes on Jo and her shoulders justly slightly forward, like she’s ready to pounce at any second.
“What’s going on?”
I look up to see all of my wives and my dad standing at the corner of the house looking concerned.
“Get her off of me. She’s lost her mind.”
“I’ve lost my mind? I don’t think so, pumpkin. You’re the one who attacked me. And I’m not moving till we get somewhere here.”
“You’re a fucking dancer and an actress, not a shrink. Don’t try to mind fuck me. It won’t work.”
“I think you’re the one doing the mind fucking. I’m the one trying to rip the fucking dildo out of your hands.”
Jo actually releases a hard laugh and her body relaxes. She takes several deep breaths and stares off towards the woods, not saying anything for a few moments.
“My squad was on a routine patrol one night and a little boy came skipping down the street with a bookbag on. They use kids a lot because they know we’re trained to try to save the child, even at the risk to our own lives.” I release her shoulders, but she doesn’t try to get up. “We ordered the boy to stop so we could inspect the bag, but he skipped around us, taunting us. Gomez lost his patience and ripped the bag off of his shoulders. In his frustration, he went against protocol and opened the bag. As soon as he opened the zipper, we heard three metallic clicks, then the bag exploded. I was partially blocked by another comrade, so I only took a few pieces of shrapnel, but they were enough to end my career. Out of seven of us, only two of us survived. Bailey would be better off dead. He’s a vegetable – paralyzed from the neck down, blind, and nearly brain dead.”
I climb off of Jo and tap her shoulder. She sits up, pulling her knees up to her chest facing the woods and sits in silence for a few moments.
“One of my comrades leapt on top of the boy right before the bag exploded and saved the kid’s life. My comrade died, but that boy lived. He wiggled out from under my friend’s lifeless, mutilated body and ran off laughing. Laughing – he was fucking laughing. He killed five good men and women who were there to help them and he laughed about it. At least that’s what I thought. But I think he was laughing at me for surviving.”
“You’re making that last part up because that’s how you feel. That boy didn’t have the mental maturity to understand the depth of how that would impact you. Nor did he fully understand the depth of what he was doing. He was a tool. That’s it.”
“He was evil.”
“Kids are not evil. People who manipulate them and use them are evil. You were raised in a military family. What was that like? Were you expected to go into the army?”
“Yes.”
“Did you want to?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Yes and no. I wanted to make my family proud, but I didn’t really agree with us being over there. They don’t want us there. They hate us.”
“What did you really want to do?”
She glares at me, and snaps, “You’re really annoying.”
I shake my head as I stand up. “Yeah, coming from the woman who attacked me. Get up and help me load this wood.”
Jo stands up and grabs two big chunks of wood. We get half of the wagon loaded before she stops and stands upright to look at me. The expression is hard to read, but it looks like she’s trying to figure out a difficult puzzle or maybe she has decided to hate my guts forever.
“Why did you hire us? You can afford the best contractors in the state. Why did you pick us?”
“Because I think it’s bullshit that our soldiers have to fight so hard for their second chance when they get out of the service. You have forced yourself to believe that being a soldier was your life. But it wasn’t. That was a moment of service and that moment has passed. This right here is your life. This right here is what matters now. Your past lives in your present and your present looks to the future. Your past can hang out in your present, but you can’t hang out in your past. You can only move forward. Now, ready to tell me what you really want to do?”
“You really need to fuck off with that question.”
“Do we need to have a dildo burning to symbolize setting your mind free from that mind fuck you’re putting yourself through so you can feel comfortable answering my question?”
Jo laughs as she turns to grab more wood. “You really are annoying.”
“I think you’re the first person to… No, wait, the last person who told me that tried to kill me. Well, you did attack me, so I guess that makes sense. Do you notice a pattern here?”
“Yeah, you like to push people’s buttons and piss them off enough to make them attack you.”
“Wrong answer. Try again.”
“See, you’re annoying.”
“You just hate being wrong.”
She tosses a couple of pieces of wood in the wagon, and says, “Fuck you,” with a small huffing laugh.
“Have you always been this pleasant?”
“How about I take someone you love away from you then we’ll…”
I move before I can stop myself and sweep her legs out from under her, sending her crashing to the ground. As I’m straddling her hips and roughly shoving her wrists into the ground, Madison calls out, “Kayla!”
Jo groans in pain, but she doesn’t try to fight me.
“First of all, never threaten someone I care about, even just in a hypothetical scenario. Second of all, get your head out of your ass! Look, I get it, ok? Just thinking about losing
someone I love is paralyzing. But you are still here. There are billions of people on this planet living everyday with their own burdens and pains. You are not alone in this world, so stop acting like you are. Open your heart up and let someone in. You keep calling me annoying because I represent what you’re running from. You’re scared of me because you know I’m going to break down that fucking wall you built and force you to be a human being again.”
“I’m not afraid of you.”
“Yes, you are. People deal with their fears in one of four ways. The average person will either run from them or attack them. The weaker person becomes consumed by them and becomes paralyzed and unable to function at all. The brave, courageous person faces their fear till it’s no longer a fear. You’ve been attacking me since you got here.”
“Do you expect me to run from you?”
“No, I expect you to show courage and face me. Face yourself. Throw down the fucking wall, Jo. Tell me something real about you.”
She growls as she tries to fight my grip, and through gritted teeth, she says, “Do not make me hurt you.”
“You can try, but I doubt you’ll succeed.”
“You really don’t want to test this.”
“There you go again thinking you actually know me better than you do. You’ve already tried to attack me twice and neither time ended in your favor.”
Jo growls and squirms under me, trying to break free. I elongate my stance and lock her legs with my feet, causing her to release a sound of pain.
“When I get up, I’m going to…”
“You’re going to what? End up right back down here again? Take a hint before you get hurt. Attacking me won’t work. My tiniest wife can give me a better wrestling match just for fun. You’re fighting for your life right now and you’re not doing so well.”
“Fuck you.”
“Let’s try something simple. What’s your favorite food?”
Jo stares in my eyes for nearly an entire minute before she releases a hard exhale. “Fajitas.”
I smile and nod. “I love fajitas. My sister Sara and her wife Keira make amazing fajitas. We’ll have some today. What is your favorite drink?”
