“A little of both, I suppose,” he said, taking off his hat and running a hand through his hair. Bianca had quickly come to realize the gesture meant Nate was uncomfortable, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about him doing it so often when she asked him a question.
She was both grateful for his honesty and disappointed at his answer.
“I’m sorry,” she said automatically. “This is your home and I don’t mean to chase you away. If it’s easier—”
“It’s because of how much I want to be near you,” he interrupted, and her heart thundered in her chest.
What was she supposed to make of that?
“You stay away because you want to be near me?” she asked with a laugh that sounded breathless to her own ears. “Mixed signals much?”
He flashed a self-deprecating smile and leaned a hip against the porch rail. “That pretty much sums it up. You’ve got me mixed up like a can of soda someone’s shaken too hard. I don’t even understand it, but I feel like I’m about to explode from wanting you. I’m happy you found me. Hell, until you showed up I would have sworn I liked being on my own. You and EJ came along and changed everything. But you’re Eddie’s little sister.”
“I’m not a baby.”
“Trust me, I know that. You said yourself that Eddie told you I’d take care of you. I don’t think wanting you was what he had in mind.”
She swallowed. “You want me?”
“I can see where EJ gets his penchant for asking a million questions.” He sighed. “Of course I want you. Any man in his right mind would want you.”
An image of the door slamming behind Brett flashed in her mind.
“Now don’t be thinking about your dirtbag ex-husband.” Nate pointed a finger at her. “We’ve already established he’s an idiot.”
“Staying away because you want me doesn’t make sense.” She wrapped the blanket tighter around her shoulders.
“It makes all the sense in the world. I’m trying to be a gentleman.” Nate threw up his hands. “For once in my dang life, I’m doing the right thing, even though it’s just about killing me. You’re a beautiful woman, Bianca. But you’re also a mother. What kind of role model would I be to EJ if I took advantage of his mom?”
“It’s not taking advantage if your feelings are reciprocated.”
“If Eddie were here—”
“He’s not,” she shouted, then pressed her fingers to her mouth. “Eddie isn’t here, and EJ’s father wants nothing to do with either of us. You’re the first decent man my son can remember in his life.”
“Which makes it even more important that I treat you with the respect you deserve. I know what it’s like to grow up without a father, Bianca. We were lucky to have Earl Thompson, but there was always something missing. My mom never dated that I can remember. We were her only priority, and I always felt sad that she didn’t have someone. That Jayden, Grayson and I didn’t have someone.”
“Eddie told me your dad died when your mom was pregnant.”
Nate’s eyes narrowed as he looked out into the night. “That’s what we always thought.”
“It wasn’t true?”
He shook his head. “My mom thought the same thing.” He paused, as if weighing how much to share with her.
Whatever he had to say was obviously difficult, so Bianca stood and stepped closer, wanting to offer whatever kind of support she could.
“We found out last year that our father has been living in Austin this whole time,” he finally said.
She sucked in a shocked breath, and he turned to look at her. “Have you heard of Gerald Robinson?”
Bianca nodded. “The tech mogul who was revealed to be Jerome...” Her voice trailed off as she thought of the laugh she’d had earlier that Nate and his brothers shared the same last name as a famous Texas family. “You don’t mean your dad is Jerome Fortune?”
“He and my mom met in New Orleans. They were in love but argued about something and he stormed out. After he left, he faked his own death to get away from his own controlling father. He created an entirely new identity for himself as Gerald Robinson, married a woman named Charlotte and had eight legitimate children.” He gave the approximation of a smile but there was no humor in it. “There are also a bunch of illegitimate offspring. Gerald Robinson was a serial cheater.”
“Nate,” she whispered. “No.”
“We found out when Ariana, Jayden’s wife, came to Paseo looking for us. She worked for a magazine in Austin and was profiling several of Gerald’s children. She’d heard a rumor of his relationship with my mom and that there was a son from their brief time together. She didn’t realize at the time that we were triplets.”
“How did your mother react?” she asked without thinking. Bianca couldn’t imagine the shock Deborah must have felt.
“She hasn’t said much. She and Grayson were on the road when we found out. Jayden told her but by the time they returned to the ranch, she was back to business as usual.”
“It has to be hard for her.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, his voice tight. “I know she loved him. She never talked much about our father, but when she did it was clear her feelings for him hadn’t dimmed through the years. To learn that he’d been alive all this time must have been a blow.”
“Did he know about the three of you?”
Nate shook his head. “According to Mom, he didn’t even realize she was pregnant. She tried to find him—Jerome Fortune—when she found out, but he’d already faked his death and created the Gerald Robinson persona by that time. Jayden met him last year at a grand opening party to celebrate some office complex in Austin designed by one of our half brothers.”
“Have you talked to him?”
“No.” The word was spoken with so much emptiness, she couldn’t help but reach out and put a hand on his arm, encircling his wrist with her fingers. She prayed he wouldn’t pull away.
“Do you want to?”
He looked past her shoulder, a muscle working in his jaw, and she wondered if he’d even answer. Finally, he shrugged. “He’s nothing to me. I had a father figure in Earl Thompson, and I was never alone thanks to Jayden and Grayson. I don’t need more siblings, and I sure don’t need a father who doesn’t want to be a part of my life.”
“What makes you think he doesn’t?” she couldn’t help but ask.
“He left my mom.”
“But it changes things if he didn’t know she was pregnant.”
“Maybe,” he admitted after another long moment. “Ariana believes he really loved her at the time. Jayden seems to think he feels bad about not being a part of our lives.”
“It definitely sounds like Gerald Robinson made plenty of mistakes, but family is important. Even new family. Trust me, you don’t want to be in a position to have regret plague you.”
He jerked back, as if she’d struck a nerve.
“You have nothing to regret, Bianca.”
She thought about her son not knowing his uncle. Eddie had been deployed when she’d gotten pregnant with EJ. She knew her brother hadn’t approved of Brett, so she hadn’t talked to him about her shotgun marriage. She’d planned to, of course, but he’d been under so much pressure as his squadron had endured a series of deadly missions. Then her marriage had started to break down, and she’d been too embarrassed to say anything in the emails and letters she sent.
Eddie had been scheduled for redeployment, but he’d been killed a month before he was supposed to come home on leave. Before she’d been able to tell him about EJ, the boy she’d named in his honor.
Regret had become her constant companion, yet how could she admit that to Nate?
“Neither do you,” she told him instead.
He didn’t answer, but raised his hand to her cheek, the pad of his thumb stroking back and forth. Shivers raced along her spine at the delicate tou
ch. “Thank you for saying that.” He smiled, and this time his eyes appeared less shadowed than they had minutes earlier. He looked younger, more like the soldier she remembered from his visits to San Antonio with Eddie.
This is how I can repay him, she thought suddenly. She could ease his burden. She could help him remember how it felt to be happy. She knew he’d been injured in the mission that had killed her brother, and between that and his responsibilities running the ranch and the shock of discovering his tie to the Fortune family, Nate had been dealt as much of a blow as she had in the recent past.
Maybe what they both needed was some joy in their lives.
She reached up on tiptoe and pressed her mouth to his. Not a demand, but an invitation. He stilled, and she wondered if her own need had made her misjudge the situation. Nate was a sinfully handsome bachelor. If he wanted a woman—any woman, Bianca imagined—he’d only have to crook his finger.
He’d said he wanted her, but did he want her as much as she did him?
Her answer came a moment later when he reached around her back and pulled her tight against him, angling his head to deepen the kiss. He took control in a way that was both tender and thrilling, as if she was a precious gift he wanted to savor.
Running every day until she dropped into bed, Bianca hadn’t had time to savor anything in years. She sank into the kiss, letting the desire swirling through her take over until she was total sensation.
She lost herself in the moment, pressing her breasts against the hard planes of his chest and lifting her hands to grip his biceps. His heat enveloped her, and her body came alive. This was everything she’d ever wanted and more than she’d realized was possible.
And this was just a kiss.
She could so easily lose herself to this man.
The thought had her wrenching away, taking several stumbling steps toward the edge of the porch.
“I’m sorry,” she said automatically. “Looks like I’m the one taking advantage now.”
He barked out a short laugh. “It’s not taking advantage if we both want it.”
She glanced over her shoulder. His arms were crossed over his chest like he was having trouble stopping himself from reaching for her again.
“I didn’t come here expecting this.”
“I know.”
“We should—” She paused, not sure how to give voice to the things she knew were right when her body was screaming for so much more.
“Take it slow,” Nate finished, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck almost sheepishly.
“Slow,” she agreed. “I should...um...go in now.”
His brown eyes never left hers. “Good night, Bianca.”
“Good night, Nate,” she whispered, and hurried past him.
Chapter Six
Nate woke the next morning from a deep sleep.
He blinked and turned to glance at the clock on his nightstand.
Five o’clock.
He’d slept for seven hours.
In a row. Without waking.
It was a damn miracle.
A grin split his face as he sat up. He felt better than he had in months, longer even. Since he could remember.
After Bianca had gone into the house last night, he’d stood on the porch, pulling air in and out of his lungs, as he forced himself not to go after her. He pictured her walking up the stairs, the squeak from the loose floorboard echoing in his brain. She’d undress slowly and slip into the thin tank top she’d worn before—the one he could easily imagine peeling off her to reveal the pale skin beneath.
A movement had caught his attention out of the corner of his eye, and he’d turned to see a four-legged figure trotting toward the barn in the pale moonlight. The stray dog EJ had named Otis. The dog seemed almost feral the first time Nate had seen it on the ranch, but the animal always lurked about when Sugar was in residence. He thought about shooing it away but couldn’t bring himself to after the dog had saved EJ.
Instead, he’d gone into the house and scooped up a cup of Sugar’s kibble into a bowl he placed at the bottom of the front porch steps. The small business had been enough of a distraction that the pounding urge to follow Bianca had subsided. He’d gone to bed then, reciting SEAL navigation training exercises in his head to keep his mind from wandering.
He’d expected to toss and turn as he did most nights. He’d closed his eyes knowing that the next time he opened them would be in the middle of the night, his body drenched in a cold sweat as memories pummeled him from the deep recesses of his mind.
Although the sky outside his window was still dark, he knew the light of morning would be coming soon, heralding a new day. A fresh start.
He hadn’t shared his feelings about Gerald Robinson with anyone. He’d barely discussed his father with Jayden and Grayson. He figured they understood where each other stood. Being triplets, they could often communicate without speaking. Even when careers in the US Army and Navy had sent Jayden and Nate to far-flung locations throughout the world, the bond the three of them shared had never wavered. They might not spend hours talking over their feelings, but Nate never doubted their love for each other or the devotion each had toward their mother.
Maybe he’d thought he was fine after discovering his father hadn’t died like his mother believed. He’d always been the fun-loving triplet, leaving the serious stuff for responsible Jayden and intense Grayson. But nearly twenty years in the navy had tempered him, and that last disastrous mission had all but destroyed his ability to see the bright side of anything.
Today he felt a new sense of hope, and he wasn’t going to take it for granted. He got dressed, then slipped out of his room and started for the stairs. But as soon as he passed EJ’s room, the door opened and the boy popped out.
“Morning,” he said in an overloud voice.
Nate lifted a finger to his lips, then pointed to his mother’s room across the hall. “I bet your mommy’s still asleep,” he whispered.
“I’m awake.” EJ grinned. “I got dressed and brushed my teeth so I’m ready for morning chores.”
“Then let’s get going. If we finish quickly enough, we’ll have time to make your mom breakfast in bed. I bet she’d like that.”
“She likes pancakes,” EJ said, following Nate down the stairs.
“I make darn good pancakes,” Nate told him.
EJ frowned. “Mommy told me Daddy used to say making food is women’s work, and the man’s job is watching sports on TV.”
Nate resisted the urge to roll his eyes. It didn’t surprise him that Brett would have given that advice to his young son. The more he learned about Bianca’s ex-husband, the more he disliked the man.
At the bottom of the stairs, he crouched down in front of EJ. “A real man takes care of the women in his life. That’s what my brothers and I were taught.” Once again, he was grateful for Earl Thompson’s presence in his life. He wondered what values Gerald Robinson had instilled in the children he’d raised. And whether his other illegitimate offspring had been lucky enough to have the kind of happy childhood Nate had experienced. “I know you love your mommy, and you understand how hard she works to make sure you have a good life. Right?”
EJ nodded solemnly.
“Then sometimes you want to do special things for her to thank her for that. Trust me, buddy, most women appreciate a man who is willing to help in the kitchen. It’s an important lesson for you to learn.”
The boy scratched his nose, looking about as interested in lessons on women as Nate had been as a boy. That hadn’t stopped Earl from teaching them, and Nate would be forever grateful. “Okay.”
He didn’t say anything against EJ’s father. That wasn’t his place. But he figured if he made sure to share with EJ his own values—the values Eddie Shaw would have taught his nephew—hopefully Nate could balance whatever stupid, Neanderthal ideas Brett had
put into his son’s mind.
“Can I learn to ride a horse today?” EJ asked as Nate held open the front door for him.
“We’ll need to ask your mom about that.”
EJ sighed loudly. “She’ll say no because she’s afraid of horses. She won’t want me to get hurt.”
“You won’t get hurt on my watch,” Nate promised, even though the boy nearly had been the other day.
“Look,” EJ shouted, then skipped to the bottom of the porch steps. “There’s a dog bowl and paw prints in the dirt.”
Nate lifted a brow. “I saw the stray hanging around last night as I was going to bed. I left out a scoop of food for him.”
“His name’s Otis,” EJ said patiently.
“We’re not naming him,” Nate countered. “He doesn’t belong to us.”
“You fed him.” EJ held up the metal bowl.
“It was a onetime thing,” Nate explained a little sheepishly. “To thank him for coming to your rescue with Cinnamon.”
“Can I feed him this morning?” EJ bounced on his toes. “Since I was the one he rescued, I should thank him.”
Nate grinned but couldn’t fault EJ’s logic. “One scoop. There’s a bin of dog food next to the washer in the laundry room.”
EJ let out a whoop of delight then ran into the house, returning a few minutes later carrying the bowl piled high with kibble.
Nate chuckled. “That’s a heck of a lot more than one scoop.”
“I want to thank Otis a whole bunch.” EJ set the food at the bottom of the porch. “Where do you think he sleeps?”
Nate started walking toward the barn, EJ at his side. “I’m not sure. But that dog can take care of himself.”
“Everybody needs somebody,” EJ reminded him. “Even Otis.”
“Right now the horses need their morning hay. Let’s get them and the chickens fed, then we’ll make pancakes before your mom wakes up.”
Her Soldier 0f Fortune (The Fortunes 0f Texas: The Rulebreakers Book 1) Page 6
