“Much, much better,” he declared, enjoying the sound of muffled laughter beside him.
“Quite,” Vanessa agreed, flashing another smile Zander’s way. She meant to keep her eyes on the plate she’d taken into her hand, meant to focus on filling it with goodies from the kitchen, but… how could she with him sitting there, unclothed, in all his glory?
She caressed him with a gaze, truly believing he had to have felt it. Her eyes traced the lines of his lean, contoured torso, pausing to marvel at the harsh divots and crags reminiscent of the mountain peak just beyond the window. A contrast of shadows and highlights characterized the landscape of his midsection, inviting Vanessa’s eyes to slip lower, toward a dusting of dark hair at the base of Zander’s stomach, and then... lower.
Realizing she’d gotten carried away, Vanessa turned back toward the pair’s breakfast spread. He’d been so thoughtful in preparation for her visit. No stone was left unturned—a fact that hadn’t been lost on her. She was definitely aware of the effort he’d put forth.
Because he’d gone out of his way to make her comfortable, settling in with him had been easy. The anxiety she felt when first arriving was all but a distant memory now. Who would’ve guessed Zander actually had a casual, laidback side to him? But he did. He did and it humanized him even more.
The room was bright, illuminated by the sun’s reflection off the fallen snow. Despite it being mid-autumn, outside looked like a winter wonderland. On the contrary, the temperature inside the bedroom was perfect. She loved it here, Zander’s home away from home. This weekend was exactly what she needed without her even knowing. Already, in spite of it just beginning, she was dreading its end.
“I’m really glad you invited me,” she shared, deciding to let Zander know how appreciative she was.
He set his glass of orange juice down and cast his attention toward Vanessa.
“You’re more than welcome.”
In all honesty, it could get quite lonely when he came alone, so he, too, felt grateful. But not just for having her company, he was also grateful for her understanding. That, perhaps, had meant more to him than anything. Not everyone could endure his abrasive exterior, but she had. She’d endured it and even managed to help him shed a layer or two in the process.
Thinking of how wonderfully refreshing Vanessa had been in his life, Zander was all of a sudden disinterested in breakfast. Food, rest… both were necessities, yes, but he could catch up on both later.
Right now, he wanted her.
A loud cackle belted from Vanessa’s mouth when Zander swooped her up from the couch and tossed her over his solid shoulder.
“What are you doing?” she barely got out. All the giggling left her breathless.
The mattress formed to the shape of her body when she was placed down on top of it, staring up into Zander’s eyes. Her neck and chest were ravished with soft, dizzying kisses as she quickly wandered down the path toward a pleasure induced coma.
The corners of her mouth curved upward into a smile and Zander mirrored the expression. Seconds later, he meandered down the length of her body, intent on making her come for him—loud, hard.
“But… aren’t we going to eat?” she reasoned, gasping when lips brushed the skin just below her navel.
Zander’s answer came swiftly and Vanessa’s channel flooded immediately after the words left his mouth.
“Lie back and relax,” he asserted, “… and leave the eating to me.”
Chapter Nineteen
Listening to her patients share had been particularly difficult this morning.
Well… afternoon.
She’d been losing track of time, but it couldn’t be helped. Her thoughts, since coming down from the mountains, were stuck on Zander. In fact, she could pinpoint the moment the shift happened, the moment he became real to her. He was no longer just a complex bundle of unsorted issues and arrogance. Zander was a man who, despite his past, was still standing. Being honest, she actually admired his perseverance.
The remainder of their time together was spent naked, tangled in Zander’s sheets, exhausting every sexual position they could think of. Every now and then, they’d resurface to eat and engage in lengthy, soul-cleansing conversation, but they hardly ever left that bedroom. They’d behaved like spoiled royals the entire weekend, relying on the chef and staff to wait on them hand and foot. However, Vanessa’s favorite part? Sleeping beside him at night. He liked to keep her close and she wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Jotting a few more notes, she was almost relieved Roxy’s session was over. She had an hour break between this appointment ending and her next beginning. That’d be just enough time to clean out her email and check the few voice mail messages that came in since morning.
“Any thoughts or concerns before we close out?” she asked.
Roxy seemed lighter than usual and Vanessa was pretty sure that had a lot to do with her decision to continue the affair with her husband’s best friend, Danny—the one who made her see stars in the bedroom for the first time. On one hand, it was easy to understand how such a thing could form a false sense of attachment, but she couldn’t seem to get Roxy to understand that. The only thing her patient could seem to think about was how explosive the sex was, despite Vanessa warning her of the potential havoc it could wreak on her relationship as well as her emotional wellbeing.
“Nope,” Roxy said, sounding especially chipper. When she stood, Vanessa did the same, following her to the door. “Actually, Dr. Ferris, there was something else I wanted to say.” Pushing her shoulder-length hair behind her ear, Roxy shifted from one foot to the other. From the looks of it, she was somewhat apprehensive about what she had to say next.
“I was thinking,” she went on, finally able to make eye contact with Vanessa. “I don’t know if there’s much reason for me to continue coming here.”
And there it was… the words Vanessa had been waiting on.
“I mean… the whole point in me coming here was to find out why I couldn’t… you know. Seems the issue is fixed now,” she added with a coy smile, one that made Vanessa a little sick to her stomach.
“Roxy, I can’t force you to be here. If you feel there’s nothing left to be gained from your sessions, then that would be your decision. But what I will say is this: you’ve got to ask yourself if you truly believe whatever issue you came here to resolve has disappeared or if it’s simply manifesting itself in a different manner now.”
Roxy’s blue eyes lowered to her feet while she thought to herself, no doubt taking her doctor’s words into consideration. When she finally reached a conclusion, she met Vanessa’s gaze again.
“I hadn’t thought about it that way,” she replied.
In her heart, Vanessa didn’t believe any of her patients’ ailments were as simple as the way they presented themselves outwardly. That was the entire basis of her profession. So, because of this belief, she was positive her work with Roxy was far from finished.
“Same time next week, then?” Roxy asked.
Relief swept over Vanessa. She really didn’t want to have to say more than she already had to persuade Roxy because she’d seem pushy. It was never her intention to be that way, but she really did hold to the belief that Roxy could benefit further from seeing her.
“Same time next week,” Vanessa answered, smiling a little as she walked Roxy out. Just before reaching the lobby, the two parted ways.
The afternoon stretch always felt longer than the first half of the day, which was why Greta knew to fix a fresh pot of coffee around this time. It never failed; Vanessa would find some way to sneak into the kitchenette to refill her mug and today was no different.
With her phone in hand, she thumbed through email messages she missed throughout the morning, scrolling aimlessly until she came to one Dr. Keiser had sent roughly an hour ago.
She couldn’t open it fast enough. Weeks had passed since they first discussed her coming to join his practice. Now, according to his email, he was inqu
iring as to which day and time were best for them to meet and discuss the details. It took everything in her not to screech as she replied with her availability. The sooner she could get out of this office, the better.
For all parties involved.
The words, “Someone’s sure in a good mood,” nearly startled her phone right out of her hand. She looked up to find Simon, too, had wandered in for a midday pick-me-up.
Vanessa worked her fingers through her hair, doing her best to be casual. Yes, Simon knew she planned to move on to another practice, but she didn’t feel like discussing it again. Not until she had to. Bringing up her departure would only start an argument and she honestly didn’t feel like going there with him today. She’d been in a good mood ever since her trek into the mountains and she refused to let anything, or anyone, ruin it. In fact, she was so unusually relaxed, she managed to flash a dim smile Simon’s way.
He noticed, of course, especially seeing as how things had been touch and go between them over the weekend after his reaction to Ryan camping with his friend.
“Just having a good day, I guess,” Vanessa answered dismissively, knowing good and well it’d been a good few days.
Simon’s eyes slipped up Vanessa’s curvy frame, but not to lust after her. Something was just… different about her.
“Well… I’m glad to hear it,” he answered, still trying to get to the bottom of what had her behaving so uncharacteristically pleasant. Not that he minded, but he’d gotten so used to her scolding him with her eyes that he honestly expected that sort of treatment.
Seeing as how it’d been so rare lately that she tolerated him for more than a few seconds, he thought he might take advantage of this opportunity. He hadn’t talked to Ryan since his return from the camping trip, so now seemed like as good a time as any to ask how it went.
“Did my son catch any fish this weekend? Wrestle any bears?” He stared with a hint of a smile on his face as Vanessa filled her cup with fresh-brewed coffee.
She glanced his way for a moment before reaching for the cream. “From what I was told, he and Kevin kept up so much noise they scared off all wildlife within miles of their campsite.”
Simon smiled broader. This, talking to her without the undercurrent of bitterness and hatred, was a breath of fresh air. He’d just opened his mouth to ask more about his son’s adventure when Vanessa’s phone pinged with a notification. Simon’s eyes widened when she actually thought enough of him to politely excuse herself from the conversation while she checked the text.
Her lips moved with silent words as she read the message to herself. When she was done, she smiled. However, it wasn’t just any smile. No, Simon thought he recognized a familiar look behind her eyes. It was one of those smiles she used to offer when he’d whisper something sweet in her ear, or when he’d slyly pass her a note during one of his lectures while she sat in the front row. Yes, he knew her well and there was now a thin suspicion the text she read came from another man.
She skimmed the message once more, reading Zander’s cleverly worded invitation. He was trying to convince her to join him for a ride on his motorcycle in the coming week or so, whenever she had time. This was different. Any other time he requested her company, it’d been spur of the moment, last minute—the bar, their first date, and even their visit to James Peak. She had actually gotten used to that being his way.
‘I appreciate the invitation. Will let you know soon,’ she texted back.
Truthfully, her fingers almost immediately typed the word ‘No’, but she caught herself. Maybe she was weak because the memory of their weekend was still so fresh in her mind, but honestly? The thought of being on the back of that thing was petrifying.
‘Holding my breath,’ he answered back, making her grin once again.
Simon didn’t miss how easily that expression came this time or the last.
He didn’t let it show on his face, but his heart raced at the thought of her moving on. And so soon at that. Their marriage had barely ended and now… was she… was there someone else?
That would certainly account for this mood she was in, too. The thought of it, all of it, sickened him.
An imaginary conversation played out in his thoughts. He daydreamed about having the boldness to ask his question aloud—regarding whether she’d moved on. Beyond the shadow of a doubt, Vanessa would counter that she at least did him the courtesy of waiting until their marriage ended to explore other options, but she’d only respond this way because she really didn’t understand—
…him
…his struggles
…his problems.
That was perhaps what frustrated him most, that she specialized in mental health where sexual behavior is concerned, but she still never gave him a chance to explain. He loved her, but he was sick; he’d known this to be a fact for years. There was just no easy fix. However, if Vanessa had just taken the time to sit and have a conversation with him, he could’ve told her so much. And maybe, just maybe, she could’ve helped him.
But that was all water under the bridge now. The marriage burned to the ground quickly after his offenses were found out.
“Sorry about that. Business,” Vanessa apologized; however, he knew she was feeding him a lie.
Putting on a weak smile, Simon nodded. “No problem.”
“You were getting ready to say something?”
She was right. Before her text, he did plan to keep the conversation going, but now… His heart ached inside his chest, drumming a pitiful rhythm against his ribcage.
“Actually, I should be getting back to my office. I have a client coming in a few minutes and I need to prepare, so…”
When Simon’s words trailed off, Vanessa glanced up from the mug she stirred, none-the-wiser concerning her ex’s growing suspicion or his disgust.
She offered another smile and his stomach turned at that, too. He was beginning to feel like a fool. How had he been so naïve to think she was simply being pleasant. He should’ve known there was more to it.
Without another word, he went his own way. The very idea of her being with someone else was more than he could take. Maybe he’d been wrong. Maybe there was another explanation for Vanessa’s behavior this morning. Maybe it had absolutely nothing to do with another man at all.
With every step he took, he prayed harder that this had all just been a misunderstanding. That had to be it; he was simply jumping to conclusions.
*****
Ryan had just gone to bed and a bath was next on Vanessa’s list. However, as soon as she stood, her phone rang and she found herself doubling back to the nightstand where she’d set it.
Damn… she was smiling again despite herself. It couldn’t be helped, though. Every time Zander’s name flashed across her phone the stupid expression just seemed to show up out of nowhere. If he’d been here to see it, she was sure he’d get so much pleasure from how he affected her.
“Hello?” she answered casually, hoping he couldn’t hear that there was a huge grin on her face through her tone.
“Tell me you’re not busy,” came Zander’s voice—dark, breathy, rushed.
At his words, she glanced down at the robe cradled in the bend of her elbow, listened for the water filling her tub. While answering, she went toward her bathroom to turn it off, already deciding her bath could wait.
“Nope. Not busy.”
An exhaled breath traveled the airwaves and Vanessa swore she felt when it reached her ear.
“Good,” was Zander’s only response.
The mattress formed to the shape of her figure when she sank into it and laid back.
“Everything okay?” She only asked because he wasn’t saying much—no witty banter, none of his usual… Zander-ness. That thought amused her. The word may have been one she made up herself, but sometimes there truly was no other way to describe the things he did nor the things that left his mouth.
“Not really,” he answered and she perked up, opening her once closed lids. “You see… I n
eed a bit of a favor, Love.”
She shivered whenever he called her that. “What kind of favor?”
Even before he responded, she knew it’d be something dirty. Something in his tone told her so. She’d gotten to know him pretty well over the months and there was a certain quality to his voice when his thoughts turned carnal. There was a rasp to it, a thirst.
“You can start by removing your panties,” he answered. “Unless, of course, you’re already not wearing any.”
Vanessa could hear and visualize those lips of his curving up in that devilish way they did.
Her bedroom door was wide open, which meant she’d have to get up to lock it if she decided to play Zander’s game.
…if.
There wasn’t a sound coming from his end of the line and Vanessa was sure she knew why—his hands and thoughts were occupied.
What she’d give to watch.
Sucking in a breath, she asked, “Why not wait until tomorrow? I’ll be free in the evening if you—”
The words were swiftly cut off and Zander’s impatience made Vanessa aware of how solid her nipples were against the silk cups of her bra. “I can’t wait that long,” he breathed. “I need you now.”
Her stomach twisted and the sensation traveled down her legs to her toes.
“I know you’re not completely available, which is why I’m taking a less… traditional approach to getting close to you tonight.” He laughed—easy, free—and the sound of it made Vanessa snicker a bit, too.
Had these exact circumstances arisen months ago—where Zander found himself in need of physical attention while Vanessa sat at home, inaccessible, unable to meet him on a whim—she was sure he wouldn’t have even bothered calling. He had a book with tens, maybe even hundreds, of women just waiting for him to put in a call.
But that wasn’t the way things had gone tonight. He called her. He wanted her.
There was the possibility that she was being naïve to think he hadn’t thought to contact anyone else, but she was sure he wouldn’t be on her line right now if that’d been the case. He would’ve been underneath some other woman, not settling for phone sex.
Overdose: A British Bad Boy Romance Page 28
