“Come in. You’re right on time,” Vanessa beamed.
Zander’s hand warmed when she ushered him across the threshold and then closed the door.
The aroma of a home-cooked meal filled his senses the moment he stepped into the foyer. Yes, his housekeeper often prepared dinner for after work, but Vanessa’s cooking ran circles around anyone else’s he’d ever tasted. Usually, when they dined together, they did so at his place, but this time they were here at hers.
A rarity.
With the trauma Ryan had endured, losing his father, Vanessa had to pour so much more into him. Her time belonged almost exclusively to her son. Zander understood that, encouraged that even, but it definitely meant he’d seen far less of her than he would’ve liked.
It also meant he had to stay out of the picture until Vanessa felt Ryan was ready. While meeting her son was something he looked forward to, he’d never push her to do anything she wasn’t ready to do. With all that happened, he knew to be patient.
That fateful night, when they’d gone to Simon’s to confront him, changed so many things.
Shock. Regret. Guilt.
Vanessa had experienced these feelings and then some over a period of time. Simon’s death… witnessing Simon’s death, had taken her through so many things neither of them expected. Her main focus was getting her son through this difficult time, which sometimes came at the expense of her own health—mental and physical. She gave all of herself to Ryan because that’s what he needed. Zander didn’t always know what to say or what to do to help her, but he did the one thing he knew to do; he was there for her.
Whatever she needed.
Whenever she needed it.
So many nights, she called him after watching her son cry himself to sleep, in tears herself. Most of the time, she pretended to be okay, saying she just needed to vent, but other times it was more than that. Seeing Ryan so broken had taken its toll and a simple conversation, a listening ear, wasn’t enough. Midnight, three a.m., it didn’t matter. Zander had gotten out of bed many nights and drove to her. Mostly, they’d just sit in the living room quietly and talk until he felt she was okay to be alone again. Then, he’d leave so she could get some rest, but he worried.
A lot.
He worried she wasn’t taking care of herself the way she should because it was like she couldn’t see her own needs because of Ryan’s.
Those were the first months.
Now, recently, Zander had noticed she was waking up. That was the best way he could describe it. The proof of this awakening was that she committed to seeing a therapist twice a week. The proof was her taking the initiative to contact Jim Keiser about revisiting their plans for her to join his practice. The proof was this invitation for dinner, an invitation made a month in advance because this wasn’t just any dinner.
This wasn’t just any other day.
“What’s in the bag?” Vanessa asked over her shoulder, leading Zander toward the kitchen where a pot sat waiting to be stirred. She found a vase for her flowers and then picked up a spoon.
“Just a little something I thought might make this easier.”
She smiled at that, knowing Zander was feeling a bit apprehensive. Being honest? She was kind of nervous, too.
After all, it wasn’t every day the two most important men in her life met for the first time.
Her eyes followed Zander as he dropped down onto one of the barstools. “How’s he feeling about all this? Ryan, I mean.”
Vanessa didn’t answer right away, mostly because she wasn’t sure how to. It’d only been three months since she finally felt comfortable mentioning Zander’s name, referring to him as “Mommy’s friend”. It was a subject she had to ease into slowly for a couple different reasons.
One being obvious: Simon’s passing.
The last thing she wanted was for Ryan to feel overwhelmed with all the changes, so, because of that, she kept her lips sealed completely for the first five months. Then, there was the false picture Simon painted of Zander after discovering their involvement. She had to do a lot of convincing to help Ryan understand those things weren’t true. From what she could tell he seemed to be receptive, but…
Seeing her expression, Zander began to doubt their plan. “Are you sure now’s the right time?”
The right time.
Vanessa wasn’t sure there was such a thing, but what she did believe was that Zander was going to be in her life for a long time. He was special to her for so many reasons, but mostly? It’d been how he stuck with her through all this. How patient he’d been even at times she thought things were bad enough he could’ve walked away. Because of that, she was ready to take this step.
Her lips parted to tell Zander it would all be fine, but she paused. She paused when her eyes locked on big, light-brown curls as they bounced into the room. Eyes wide, she lost her breath. She intended to call Ryan down once dinner was ready, giving her and Zander time to talk, to prepare, to get their game plan together, but…
“Is dinner almost ready?” came a little voice.
That voice made Zander swivel in his seat, turning toward it.
“Uh… not quite, Sweetie. It’s almost… Once the noodles are done, we can uh… we can eat,” Vanessa stammered.
Ryan gave a nod, but right after his eyes slipped left, to the stranger in the kitchen.
Zander had been in some tense situations, but few compared to this. To say he was in the hot seat was an understatement. The baby face and short stature meant nothing. Ryan may as well have been a giant. It was no secret that so much of Zander’s future with Vanessa lie within the cute kid’s seal of approval.
And he did, very much, want there to be a future for them.
Beads of sweat formed around Zander’s hairline and he could practically feel Vanessa wanting to intervene, wanting to break up the standoff between him and… the small one.
Zander had gone over this a hundred times in his head, how this first meeting would go. So, keeping to his plan, he extended his hand.
“I’m guessing you’re Ryan,” he said confidently. Didn’t matter if he actually felt confident, as long as he did a good job pretending.
Silence.
Zander sat there with his hand in the air, staring down a miniature-sized, male version of Vanessa, wondering if the boy had inherited his mother’s stubbornness, too, or just her eyes.
Only time would tell.
“And you must be Zander,” Ryan finally responded.
Much to Vanessa’s surprise, he extended his hand, too, shaking Zander’s.
“Indeed, I am.” Zander donned a reserved grin. He still wasn’t sure what to expect from the little guy and he hadn’t been around children enough to really know how to interact with them.
What should he say next? Ask him about school? Pretend he watched cartoons so they could bond over that?
He was about to initiate a conversation about SpongeBob Something-Something, whatever his name was, but then remembered the gift he brought in, passing a glance that way.
“Oh, and this is for you. You mom tells me you’re quite the video game fanatic.”
Ryan’s eyes lit up and he barely got out a “Thank you,” before snatching the carefully placed tissue paper from the bag and grabbing the racing game Zander picked out just for him.
“Is that a good one?” Zander asked, honestly worried the boy might not like it.
“Yeah! My friend Kev said his mom and dad just got it for him,” Ryan answered, flipping the case over to read the back. “You play?” he chirped.
“Uhhhh… not really,” Zander answered honestly, but then the puppy-dog eyes Ryan flashed at him the next second had him scrambling for a better response. “But I’m not opposed to learning,” he amended.
“Cool! Mom, can I take Mr. Zander up to play this?” Ryan asked, holding the game high in the air.
It was hard to miss the excitement in his tone. Vanessa’s heart squeezed in her chest and the thought entered her mind that maybe… j
ust maybe… this could work.
“Uh, sure! Go right ahead. Dinner will be ready soon.”
Zander flashed her a reassuring smile and then stood to follow Ryan up. “You’ll have to go easy on me because I have no clue what I’m doing.”
“No problem. I might even let you win one,” Ryan countered.
Zander and Vanessa locked eyes and heat flashed across her cheeks. She stifled a laugh. Realizing he’d just gotten burned by a kid, Zander chuckled a bit, too, as he followed Ryan up.
Yes, this kid was his mother’s clone, vivacity and all.
Alone, Vanessa turned back to the stove as she listened to two sets of footsteps thudding up the stairs, two voices talking and laughing already and they’d only just met. She focused on the swirling, firm noodles in her pot as she stirred, trying to ignore the twirly, jumpy thing her heart was doing inside her chest, but she couldn’t.
Wetness touched her cheek.
There was this feeling that snuck up on her out of nowhere and, to be honest, it scared her at first. It scared her because she’d gotten so used to disappointment. So used to hurt.
This feeling that overtook her today, though…
…was happiness.
She’d found that and so much more in the unlikeliest of places. But, yes, happiness was hers and she’d do everything she could to hold on to that.
To him.
Forever.
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Overdose: A British Bad Boy Romance Page 41
