Even her comment about his lame response didn’t make him laugh or even smirk like it normally would’ve. All he could think of was, after their near perfect night out last night, Addison lied to him and was somewhere meeting up with Fred at that very moment.
“Did you hear anything else?”
“No.” Clair shook her head; her troubled eyes spoke volumes. She was already regretting having told him. “She went outside to finish the call. Then when she came inside, she told me she’d have to go into the office but she’d meet me here later.”
In an attempt to appear unfazed by this, AJ tried lightening up his own demeanor. The last thing he wanted was to have Clair start keeping this kind of stuff from him out of fear that she was ratting out her mother. The expression on her face said she was worried she’d done just that.
“Yeah, it’s probably nothing bad. I’m sure she’ll tell you about it when she’s ready.” He forced a smirk. “And what are you talking about lame response? It’s the truth.”
“Oh, please,” she said, shaking her head, but he was glad her expression lost a little of its apprehension. “Your poker face is as bad as Harrison’s. You should’ve just gone with your first instinct and admitted it’s true but made me promise not to tell my mom you did. I could tell it was what you were thinking. But don’t worry. As long as you keep my secret, I’ll keep yours. For the record, I’m glad you and my mom are dating. She’s been in such a good mood lately, prancing around the house and singing all the time.” She shook her head again with a half roll of her eyes. “Such a dead giveaway. She’s also been much less uptight about all the little things she usually worries about. But hey”—she peered at him, her eyes going extra small as she pointed her pen at him—“don’t you dare hurt her. I may be a lot smaller than you, but remember, I read a lot. I know a lot more about things you’d never imagine I might.”
That made him laugh, despite the raw agitation he was still feeling about Addison lying to him. “I won’t, but you, hey,” he said, mimicking the menacing way she’d pointed her pen at him with his finger, “technically, I haven’t admitted anything.”
This time she gave him the full-blown eye roll but smiled. “The devil’s in the details, AJ.” She lifted her little notebook and shook it at him. “I gotta make my rounds. I’ll be back with the stats I think you need to know about for today’s game. But I gotta talk to Sly first.”
AJ watched her scurry away towards where Sabian was lifting weights. It still amazed him that this was a seven-year-old he had these conversations with. Most of the guys on the team weren’t as clever and on it as she was. He tried using her comment about her mom being in such a good mood lately to calm him. No way was Addison doing anything wrong with this guy. What she felt for AJ now was as palpable as what he felt for her.
As much as he hated to betray Clair’s trust, his patience when it came to lying went only so far. He’d give Addison the opportunity to come clean with him about this as soon as he was able to talk to her. But if she continued the bald-faced lies, no way was he going to be able to hold back.
Clair was right. He should’ve known better than to think he could ever even try to mask his true feelings. He was as good at that as he was at lying. It was why he never did. It went hand in hand with why the thought of Addison not being honest with him was so exasperating. He might’ve been able to keep to himself about the first call Clair had overheard, but this crossed the line. He’d given Addison the benefit of the doubt with the first call. She’d just kept the fact that she might still be in touch with the guy from him. She had made it clear early on that the situation with Clair’s dad was a private one she’d decided long ago not to share with anyone. He could respect that.
Today she flat out lied to AJ. He’d be delusional to think that he’d be able to hold back calling her out on it much longer than his next conversation with her. Clair would just have to forgive him, but no fucking way would he be able to hold back now.
~*~
Addison
Tonight would’ve been another perfect opportunity to hang out with AJ without Clair knowing anything about it. Addison could’ve easily put off telling Clair about her and AJ for at least one more night. Harrison and his parents were picking her up to take her with them to Harrison’s piano recital. Then they were going out to dinner and ice cream. Harrison’s parents knew all about dealing with a child with allergies since the little guy had a few of his own. Just another reason why she suspected Clair handpicked her best buddy. Not only could he relate to not fitting in with most kids their age, he too carried an EpiPen wherever he went. It was double the responsibility for Addison when she was the one watching over them, but it was also a relief to know his parents understood completely the importance of checking and asking the restaurants about all the ingredients they used in the food and while cooking.
That morning she’d told AJ that once they got home from the game she’d call him as soon as Clair had been picked up. It hadn’t even been a full day since she’d told him she was telling Clair the truth about their relationship, and she’d already chickened out. But after the day she’d had, the lies and secrets were beginning to suffocate her. She needed to come clean and unload at least one of them. So she took advantage of the drive home alone with Clair from the ballpark after the game to do it.
She waited patiently as Clair talked about the game. Her daughter was such a compulsive stat collector she knew things about AJ’s game she said she was certain not even real baseball statisticians knew. Her daughter had interviewed him enough before and after his games and documented his moods in her little notebook. According to her stats, he played either exceptionally well or exceptionally bad when he was stressing or feeling tense. “He never actually admits he’s stressing or feeling tense, but he’s so easy to read, especially when he’s tense.”
Addison had to wonder how accurate Clair’s conclusions were because tonight AJ had the entire stadium chanting his nickname on several occasions. He’d homered more than once, threw out a few guys on base with that arm the sportscasters had often referred to as a rocket. He’d even held onto the ball, making the play when a runner attempting to score tried running through him at home base. After the massive collision at the plate, he lifted his hand up, still holding the ball. If today was an example of him having an exceptionally good game, Addison wondered if anything was going on with his brothers.
Last night Nathan and Kelli hadn’t stuck around for the after party and everyone speculated about it. AJ had, of course, been annoyed, saying it was likely Kelli who’d insisted that they leave because it wasn’t like Nathan to not stick around.
Clair finally paused, becoming distracted as they crawled through traffic just outside the stadium. “Papa always takes the other way,” she commented.
Addison frowned but wouldn’t mention she was purposely taking the longer way and why.
“Clair, I wanted to talk to you.” She immediately had her daughter’s attention as Clair turned to her and peered curiously. “It’s about AJ and me. You’ve asked me about it before, and I didn’t want to tell you until I was a little surer about it working out, but we’re more than friends now.”
To her surprise, Clair smiled. “I know.”
“You do?”
It shouldn’t have surprised her. Addison was the one who was always saying how perceptive her daughter was, but she was curious now. “Did someone tell you?”
Clair shook her head then smirked. “Well, not exactly. I’d pretty much guessed it a long time ago, but I asked AJ today point blank, and he didn’t admit to it, but he may as well have. It was so obvious he was scrambling with his response.”
She giggled and so did Addison, wondering now if that was maybe why AJ might’ve been tense tonight and had such a good game.
Addison finished giggling, feeling a little nervous now, but she had to ask. “How do you feel about it?”
She turned to see Clair shrug then smile. “I think it’s really cool. Bu
t what happens now?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean are you two getting married? Will that make him my stepdad?”
“Uh.”
Addison stared straight ahead, her stomach knotting up. This was exactly what she’d been nervous about. She didn’t want Clair jumping ahead of herself or getting her hopes up too high. What she and AJ had, had been perfect so far, but she knew how easily things could take a turn. AJ was as passionate about his likes and dislikes as she was about protecting Clair. She was really hoping it wouldn’t happen, but something told her their passions were bound to butt heads eventually. She needed to prepare Clair for that possibility, at least keep her little head and heart open to it.
“It’s too early to know about all that,” she explained, trying not to sound negative. “We’ve only been seeing each other a few months. The word ‘marriage’ hasn’t even come up, and I don’t expect it to for a long time. We need to get to know each other much better before making those kinds of decisions, but yeah, if it were to ever happen, that would make him your stepdad. And no matter what happens, Clair Bear, I know he’ll always be your best buddy.”
Clair smiled big, and Addison smiled too, inwardly wondering if she’d done the right thing telling her now. She wasn’t so sure about that last part. AJ had already made one thing very clear. If things didn’t work out between them, he’d be cutting all ties, not just with her, but with her father and Clair.
Taking a deep breath, she smiled, relieved when Clair upped the volume on the radio. They were playing her favorite song, so apparently the conversation Addison had dreaded for so long was over just like that. At least it’d been far more painless and not nearly as awkward as she’d anticipated. Despite feeling like maybe it was a mistake to tell Clair, even if her once again too perceptive daughter had already guessed it, Addison was determined to think positive. As AJ had said last night, whatever happened, they had this.
~~~
It was subtle, but only as subtle as AJ could be. And AJ didn’t do subtle well—at all. Addison noticed his tense demeanor almost from the moment he arrived at her parents’ place to pick her up. Once again, Clair had hit his stats right on the nose.
“Everything okay?” she asked cautiously as they drove to his place.
So far, all he’d let her in on was that he was kind of tired and wanted to just go back to his place, order take out, and spend the evening in his room. Nathan was working today. Isaiah was home, but AJ’s place was so massive they could likely get as loud as they wanted to in his master bedroom, and Isaiah wouldn’t hear them since his room was clear across the property. AJ’s room alone was bigger than most good-sized apartments.
“How was your day?” he asked her as they drove onto the freeway.
“Good,” she said, glancing out the window. “Busy.”
“So what came up that they needed you to come in for last minute?”
“A call,” she said simply. “It happens often actually.”
He turned to look at her, his brow up. “Does it?”
“Yeah.” She nodded, reaching for his hand and realizing just how tense he really was as he turned his eyes back to the road. “Especially when it’s a big project we’re finishing up and it’s down to the wire.”
He squeezed her hand ever so slightly. “What else did you do today besides work and the game?”
“Oh, I told Clair,” she said, suddenly remembering, “about us.”
He turned to her again; this time his expression eased a little. “You did?”
“Yeah, since I had to drive myself to the game today, she and I drove home alone. I just went for it.”
“What did she say?”
Addison smiled big. “You know her. She said she already knew. And she told me about asking you about it today and said you pretty much blew it.”
For the first time since he’d picked her up, he smirked. “Yeah,” he actually chuckled with a nod. “I’ll admit it. I pretty much choked under pressure. She called my response lame. So I’m glad you told her. I don’t have to feel like I’m the one that slipped.”
“I had a feeling she already knew. She’d asked me before, and I just waved off the stuff she’d been reading about online as all made up.”
They spoke a little more about Clair and her reaction. Addison had to laugh when he told her exactly what his response had been. As soon as they arrived at his place, he put in an order for Chinese. Addison felt bad that it was actually a relief that she didn’t have to check and double-check the ingredients to make sure nothing contained the stuff that would make Clair sick. Her daughter was not a burden. Having to be extra careful for the sake of Clair’s well-being was absolutely worth it.
As soon as he was off the phone putting in the order, he turned to her from where he was leaning against his kitchen counter and held out his hand to her. Within seconds, he’d pulled her against him and kissed her softly, touching her hair. When their eyes met again, she saw how tense he still was, despite his being so affectionate with her. “What else did you do today, Addison?”
Swallowing hard, she tried not to panic. He couldn’t know. Only the way he was scrutinizing her—searching her eyes with more than just curiosity—alarmed her. Had someone seen her? Had Fred told anyone and somehow it’d gotten back to AJ?
Deciding she was being paranoid, she stuck with her story. “That’s pretty much it unless you count me helping Clair get ready for Harrison’s recital. She looked so cute—”
“Who’s Fred?”
Her stomach bottomed out as she watched his jaw clench, but he never took his eyes off her. “Fred?”
It was her last-ditch effort to avoid having too deep a conversation about this with him. She had a minuscule chance of doing so if she could find out how much he knew.
“Yeah, the guy you were on the phone with this morning.” His intense dark eyes went darker and hardened with every word. “The guy you agreed to meet today; then you called and lied to me, saying you had to go into work?”
“It wasn’t a lie,” she said, lifting her chin. “I did go in for a couple of hours, but yes, I also met with Fred.”
“Who is he and when were you planning on telling me about it?” He tilted his head as that familiar spark in his eyes flicked. “Or were you?”
Addison pulled away from his hold, and he let her go but held her hand. “He’s Clair’s dad,” she said as his eyes narrowed. “I wasn’t planning on telling you or anyone—”
“You told me you didn’t talk to him anymore, Addison. I accepted that you won’t share his identity with me because it didn’t matter if you had no contact with him. But if you’re gonna be meeting him—secretly no less—that changes everything.”
“It shouldn’t.”
“Oh it does,” he said, raising his voice and dropping her hand. “What did you meet with him for?”
Addison let her head fall back. As much as she hated seeing him getting upset, she was determined to share only what he needed to know.
“He started calling me again last year,” she began, speaking faster when she saw the brows jump in reaction to that. “I hadn’t heard from him in years before that. He said he was contemplating leaving his wife. That he’d always known deep inside he’d never stop loving me.”
AJ’s eyes widened. “He’s in love with you?”
She nodded. “It’s what he claims anyway. I seriously doubt the man knows what love is.”
“Were you ever in love with him? Wait,” he said, his eyes narrowing in on hers. “So he started calling you last year? Have you been meeting with him—?”
“No.” She shook her head adamantly, reaching for his hand again and lacing her fingers through his. “I’ve never been in love with anyone but you. I thought maybe I was back then, but now that I know what true love feels like, I can say that with all certainty I never was. I have zero feelings for him other than frustration that I have to deal with him now. And this is the first time I’ve agreed to meet him.
All the times he called last year I told him the same thing, to stay with his wife. Things would never work between him and me, and I didn’t want to disrupt Clair’s life. I was fine with Clair never knowing who he was or ever meeting him. But he kept calling and I started getting nervous.” She closed her eyes before going on. “I’ll admit now that when I first took the position in Chicago he was a small part of the incentive. I was young and delusional, but mostly full of hope. The undying hope that he’d come around and want us to be a happy little family still lingered. It wasn’t even about my not being able to get over him or anything; I was hopeful for Clair that she might someday have a relationship with her father. With me being so close to mine, I hated that she never would have that kind of bond with hers.”
“He lives in Chicago?”
“Not in Chicago, but about an hour and a half north of Chicago in Winnetka. He brought out the big guns during one of the final conversations I had with him while I was still out there. He started threatening that he had rights too. As Clair’s dad, he could go to court and make things ugly for me. I panicked. I’d already been looking into the possibility of transferring to California, so I did so as quickly and as quietly as I could before he could do something like try and stop me from moving her out of state. I figured since she was born in California and my family is here they couldn’t force me to move back to Illinois just because he’s there. He’s never wanted anything to do with her. I thought, worst-case scenario, if he were really gonna claim he wants to be a part of her life—which I know he doesn’t—and push came to shove, then he could move here.”
“Did he?” AJ asked, the intensity morphing into alarm.
“Not yet. I don’t think he ever will. But he did leave his wife just recently. I think it was why he wanted to meet with me today. To see my reaction. When I first met him, he was in the minors here in San Diego, but he always talked about wanting to get back to his hometown. He hated it here.” She took a deep breath, knowing, as much as she hated to have to tell AJ this next part, he needed to know. “Thing is, AJ, he’s a selfish asshole. The only times I ever heard from him or that he bothered to contact me since Clair was born were if he either needed something from me—like reassurance that I’d continue keeping his identity a secret because he’d chosen not to tell his fiancée about his love child—or when he heard of me seeing someone. It was never about her, and I’m still certain it isn’t. Even when we talk now, he hardly asks about her. He’s more interested in my private life. Last year I started to see someone. Only then did he suddenly realize he missed me. When I moved out here, I guess he figured I cut things off with the guy, which I did, and he left well enough alone. But ever since the stories have gotten out about you and me, he’s started up again.”
Rage Page 20
