“Flee?” I said. “What the hell are you talking about? Stop talking in riddles.”
“I took away the power of the angels,” she said. “So simple. They started a war, they followed a false god, they forsook me. They had to be punished. I told them they could give up their strength and leave Briah, or they could gaze upon me in all my might. Only one stayed. Sweet Camael. He is burned beyond recognition. He will die soon, but with his strength intact.”
“So the angels left Briah,” I said. “So what?”
“So is the power I took from them,” she said. “It is gone. Taken.”
“How is that possible?” I said.
The girl shook her head. “Foolishness. Even a god such as me can be guilty of hubris. Perhaps especially a god such as me. I didn’t think to contain the power as they surrendered it to me. But something else was there. A spell made invisible; old magic long forgotten. Something ancient told to ears all too willing to hear. Something that I fear is far stronger and much older than I am. Something that even I fear. And the power was gone.”
“Gone where?” I said, fearing what She would say. Knowing what She would say.
“The Grace now have the power of a dozen Archangels.”
My body went weak. “No. Please no.”
“You do not fear for the World, Niki,” she said. “I do not understand it, but perhaps I did once. I wanted to refuse to shed my human form once. For a family that shouldn’t have been mine. For what you call love. You don’t fear for the humans who are in danger, the innocent demons who will surely perish. Just one. The only one you fear for has been sent into the den of lions. Lions who now have all the power of Heaven.”
“Yes,” I breathed. “Please help me. You say You did this. Help me save him. I am not a person who has ever begged, but I’m begging now. I’ll pray to you, I’ll do anything. Just please save him. Save Lucifer.”
“No.”
I stared at Her. “No?” I said, shock evident in my voice. “He was once one of Yours. And You’ll just leave him?”
“He lives, if that is what you fear. In a sense, at least.”
“Goddamn You,” I said.
She smiled her odd smile again.
“You have to save him,” I said. I felt a prickle of tears behind my eyes. I clenched my fists. “How can You call yourself a god? You’re afraid of a bunch of humans?”
“Not them,” she said. “Whom they serve. What they will unleash… and they will unleash him. Make no mistake. I cannot stop any of this.”
“But You can save him,” I said. “You can goddamn save him. Only him. That's all I ask. You can do it.”
“Yes. But I will not.”
“Why? Why won’t you help me?”
“Because if I help you, I have to stay. I plan to disappear. I am no longer going to reign over this world. I will become what I have created.”
“Bullshit!” I screamed, the words raking at my throat. “Save him. Save him, You son of a bitch! HELP ME.”
“No,” She said mildly. “But I will give you a gift that may help you. Not immediately, but when you learn to use it, you can do your best to save everyone. You will fail, though. In the end, the best you can do is save yourself.”
“What could You possibly give me?” I said, a mad laugh escaping. “Everything You’ve given me has made my life hell. Everything. You take away everyone I love, and You give me nothing but shit. Death? I never asked to be goddamn Death. You owe me this. You owe me his life.”
“I owe you nothing,” she said. She was watching me. I felt hot tears turn cold on my face. “If you hadn’t been Death, you would not have known.”
“Known what?” I said thickly. “I know less now than I ever did.”
“This feeling,” She said. “You wanted to feel, to want, to love. Anything but the sadness and pity of your old life. Remember your old life? You wanted something infinitely better. You’ve had it now. Would you have known such rapturous suffering otherwise? As a human? Though, you never were human, Niki. You were special from the very beginning.”
“Special,” I said bitterly. “I’m so glad. I was worried for a minute I might be ordinary.” I glared at the girl’s face. At the Creator’s face. A god in a stolen body. “And what gift do You have for me this time?”
She smiled again. “You’ll see.” She reached out to touch me a third time.
I felt a last tear roll down my face as the world went black.
CHAPTER SEVEN
I opened my eyes to a soft, golden glow that warmed my face. I blinked, my eyes adjusting to the brightness. I made out dim forms behind the shimmer surrounding me. People lying in beds, asleep. I squinted. No, not sleeping. I was in Sheol, the resting place of the dead.
I looked down. The man lying on a stone slab in front of me looked so much like he was sleeping, but he was slightly transparent, with a watery yellow glow surrounding him. That glow around each soul was the source of the light. All the souls, millions of them, were lighting my way as I walked through the aisle. I didn’t know exactly why I was here, or what I was looking for, but I knew I would find it here.
A steady murmur rose from the sleeping souls that grew louder with every step I took. The light flickered and I looked up to see a man standing in an archway. Tall and broad-shouldered and powerful, his golden hair dripping down his shoulders, nearly blending with the glow that surrounded him.
“Lucifer,” I said.
Nothing to say? Nothing at all?
He held his arms out, and stood, unmoving, his eyes open but unseeing. I ran to him, stopping just short. A whisper came from him, though his mouth remained closed. I reached up to touch his face, but my hand went through him as if he weren’t even there. A ghost. I knew I was crying, but I couldn’t feel the tears until they dripped off my face and into my hands. Without knowing what I was doing I clasped my hands together and knelt down on the cold stone floor.
“I’ll pray if I have to,” I whispered. “If it will bring you back, I’ll pray to Him. Is that what you want?”
His eyes moved downward to look at me. There was no emotion. Slowly, he shook his head. His mouth opened, as though to scream, but instead his voice was low and full of fear.
“No escape,” he said. “Not anymore.”
There was a rustling behind me, and the whispers of the souls became even louder. They rose like an orchestra, becoming a low roar. I turned slowly, afraid of what I’d see. The forms lying on the rows and rows of stone slabs were moving, sitting up, looking around. Some of them started to lower themselves to the ground, slowly, carefully. I backed away as they started advancing toward me, and bumped up against something solid.
I whipped around to see Lucifer, solid now, with a single dark red tear rolling down his face.
“It’s the only way,” he said.
“What is?” I said. I felt a touch and spun around to see the spirits had reached me. Someone was touching me, softly, gently.
“What do you want?” I said, panic rising. “Why are you awake?”
A figure in the back was slipping through the ranks, the spirits at the front parting for her, growing silent as she glided through. A sob caught in my throat when I saw her face. I shook my head.
“You,” I said. I felt a deep ache in my chest. “Why?”
My mother, as beautiful as she’d been the day she died when I was barely old enough to remember, emerged from the wave of golden men and women. She smiled and I felt like my heart was breaking.
“I don’t know what to do,” I said. “Tell me, Matin. Tell me what to do.”
“Save him,” she said. “And save them all.” She looked behind me and then back into my eyes. “You were born for this, Nikita. I died so you could save them all. You and yours.”
“I don’t know how,” I said, my voice thick and strained. “It’s too much. I miss him so much.”
“And I miss you, Nikita. Let us help you.”
“How?” I said. “You can’t help me. You’re de
ad. This is a dream, isn’t it? It can’t be real.”
She smiled again. “Sometimes dreams tell the truth. You’ll learn. You will remember what to do when the time comes. God has willed it. As the mother sacrifices, so must the daughter.”
I remembered to breathe after a moment. I stared at her. “Am I going to die?”
“You are salvation. There is no one else.”
“I’m so tired,” I said. “Can’t you help me?”
In reply, she held out her hand, translucent and bright. I touched my fingers to hers and, slowly, her hand became solid. The change seemed to crawl up her arm, and then through her body, until she was standing before me, as solid as she had been in life. A whisper rose in the ranks of the spirits behind her. I stared, losing my breath again. I tried to speak, but couldn’t find my voice.
She took a last step toward me and put her arms around me. I was taller than her now, but she would always be ten feet tall in my head. I sobbed as she embraced me, her skin cold and damp. I squeezed her tighter and closed my eyes. “I love you, Matin,” I said.
“No one will touch you, Nikita. Not unless you let them.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
I woke up shouting and reaching for my mother but grasped only a thin blanket. It smelled of coffee and dust and dirty laundry. I looked around and saw piles of books with dirty dishes placed wherever there was a flat surface. I was in Bobby Gage’s apartment.
I could hear voices coming from one of the bedrooms and I sat up, groggy from the dream. There was an odd warmth filling up my abdomen. I touched my stomach, but it felt normal. Just nerves, I guessed. The feeling would pass. It was better than the pull of the souls, which I didn’t feel at all.
I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee, trying not to touch anything. I had never been a neat person, but it didn’t even occur to Gage to wipe things down once in a while. He’d been that way since I’d met him. There was a distinct smell of mold coming from the kitchen sink.
I followed the voices. I could make out Gage’s low timbre, and another male voice, coming from behind his closed bedroom door. I knocked and the voices were quiet.
“Bobby?” I said through the door. “How long have I been here?” No answer, but I could hear distinct whispering, muffled by the door. “I need to get back to Erebos. I have people waiting for me. How long was I out?”
There was something that sounded like a sob coming from inside.
“Bobby?” I said, suddenly concerned. I turned the knob and entered.
Gage was sitting on his bed. His eyes were red-rimmed and he didn’t seem to notice me. He was holding a gun to his temple and muttering to himself.
“Bobby?” I said. “Put the gun down.” My heart was beating faster. “What are you doing?”
Someone else was in the room, though it took me a moment before I saw him. As though he was right on the edge of my vision until I knew he was there. He stood, smiling at me and smoothing his suit jacket. He was not tall, and rather slim, the suit seeming to cling to him like a skin. He had straight black hair that flopped in his eyes and rubbed up against his collar. He looked to be Japanese, though his eyes were such a pale blue that they were almost white. His teeth seemed to shine they were so bright.
“What the hell is going on here?” I said, looking from Gage to the man and back again. “Bobby? What are you doing? Is that my gun?”
Gage’s lips moved like he was uttering an unheard prayer. I could see the star on the butt of the gun that told me he was holding my old Makarov.
“He can’t hear you,” said the man. I looked at him. He wasn’t smiling any more, but looked at me with interest. “And to answer your question, yes. It is your gun. I took it from your flat. I wonder why someone such as yourself owns so many guns. It’s not as if you need them. Or are they from before?”
“What have you done to him?” I said, my voice quiet. I clenched my teeth. “Who are you?”
“Which do you want me to answer first?” he said.
“You don’t know what you’ve walked into,” I said.
He shrugged, an oddly graceful movement. He moved toward me, his movements fluid.
“You’re not human,” I said.
“No,” he said. “Neither are you.”
“Why do you look human?” I said.
“This is how people like to see me in this world,” he said. He was peering at me with his pale eyes. He didn’t blink. “The people who suspect that I exist anyway.”
“What did you do to my friend?” I was afraid to make a move. If Gage was startled, or if this man had put some kind of casting on him, I was terrified that Bobby would pull the trigger.
“Oh, don’t worry,” the man said, his voice nonchalant. “He won’t shoot. Not unless I tell him to.”
“What do you want?” I said through clenched teeth. I watched Gage. He still didn’t realize I was there. If I could just get him to meet my eyes…
“Oh, that won’t work,” said the man.
“What?” I said.
“That little trick that the angels taught you? Where you use your hypnotism superpowers? Not going to happen.” He smiled again. “Go ahead. Try it.”
“Try what, you son of a bitch?”
“The thing you want to do more than anything right now. You could just reach out and kill me. That’s what you think, isn’t it? But you won’t risk your friend’s life.”
“I could kill you with a touch,” I said.
“Go ahead,” he said. “If you can kill me, your friend will be free.”
“You’re lying,” I said.
“No. I don’t really do that.”
I looked into his face. He had a smug, condescending expression like he knew something I didn’t. It was a trick, I knew it was a trick. And yet, I felt my hand moving before I could stop it, anger welling up inside me. I put my fingers to his soft throat. It was cool to the touch. I waited for the visions to start, but all I saw was black. Not just black, but darkness. There was a buzzing like my head was filled with wasps and then everything was black. Sights, sounds, smells. The deepest shade imaginable, deeper than deep. I felt suddenly lost in the lack of anything. And then it passed and I was reaching through the man, inside of him, my hand reaching out and finding nothing. Nothing at all.
He didn’t have a soul.
I pulled my hand back with a hiss.
“Unpleasant, isn’t it?” he said.
“What are you?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Now you’re asking the right questions.”
I moved toward Gage to take the gun away, but the strange man stepped in front of me.
“I wouldn’t do that,” he said.
“Why not?” I raised my chin defiantly. We were about the same height.
In reply, he waved a hand lazily toward the bed. Gage began to slowly squeeze the trigger. I stepped back quickly.
“Stop,” I said. “Please.”
The man waved again and Gage removed his finger, though he kept the muzzle pressed against the side of his head.
“What do you want?”
The man frowned. “Your help,” he said. “Obviously.”
* * *
It took some time, but I convinced the strange man in a suit to let Gage go in exchange for my help. He had plucked the gun from Gage’s shaking hand and with a wave, Bobby was lying on the bed, asleep. He plopped down on Gage’s worn sofa and put his feet on the coffee table. He twirled the Makarov on his index finger, then, eying me, tossed it my way. I caught it and checked the cartridge. I pointed it at his chest.
“That won’t kill me,” he said with a grin.
“No, but it’ll hurt like a bitch. Talk. Who are you?”
He sighed heavily and removed his feet from the coffee table, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.
“I don’t really have a name,” he said. “Who, what, it’s all the same. Some people call us the shinigama. But most don’t know we exist. Others know of us, but prefer not t
o give us a name. To give us a name is to admit that…other things exist.”
“If you don’t have a name, what do you call yourself?” I said. “Am I supposed to just say, ‘Hey, Creepy-Guy-In-A-Tight-Suit?’”
“I’ve always been partial to Aki,” he said. “You can call me that. If you like.”
“Okay, Aki, what the hell do you want from me?”
“Can I have some coffee? I asked the human to make it. It’s been ages since I’ve had a cup.”
“No. Why are you messing around inside Bobby’s head?”
“Because he’s your only friend here,” Aki said. “And I needed you to help me.”
“With what?”
He looked at me with his pale eyes and tapped his fingers on his knees. “Okay,” he said finally. “I’m not from here.”
“Obviously.”
“No, I mean, I’m not from this world.”
“You came for the Yuki-onna?” I said. He nodded, suddenly solemn. “We’re shadows. Smoke on the edge of your vision. We’re not meant to be seen. But you can see us. And you can find her.”
“Why can’t you find her?” I said. “If you’re so powerful why not just go take her out?”
He narrowed his eyes for a moment, and his voice was strained when he spoke again.
“I can’t,” he said softly.
“What was that?”
“I can’t find the Yuki-onna in this world,” he said, his mouth tight with irritation. “I can’t feel her anymore. I’m not as powerful in this world.”
“You could feel her in your world?”
“Oh yes. That’s what I do. I followed her here through a hole in my world. But when the hole healed itself, I was weak. And I lost her.”
“What’s what you do?” I said.
“We’re the ones who hunt the monsters,” he said, the smile creeping back onto his face. “I came here to kill the Yuki-onna.”
“Huh,” I said. “Why haven’t I ever heard of you?”
“You stay in your worlds and I stay in mine…for the most part. But something happened. We trapped the Yuki-onna centuries ago. All the monsters. We made entire worlds so they would be comfortable. Small worlds, but it was the kindest thing we could do. We could have killed them, but we were under orders to have mercy. So we had mercy.”
The Devil's Backbone (A Niki Slobodian Novel: Book Five) Page 5
