“This isn’t supposed to be a battle,” Evan counters in a calm but authoritative tone. “They are here to do as their duties require; they are the keepers of the dagger, and they did not choose to be the judges here. They were chosen.”
Lev whirls to argue, but Evan waves him to silence. “Your feelings cannot stop this. Our only hope is to train Elizabeth well and face the future.”
Jimmie and I glance from Evan to Lev and back again, trying to figure out how to help, but there’s nothing to do except focus on the plan Evan has been developing. I know he’s probably been through this scenario from every possible angle, and if there were a way around this, he would have found it. I believe that.
Granted, I’m not the most perceptive person, but I recognize the stress mounting within all of us, and I sure don’t like how things are shaping up between Lev and Evan. They’ve never been at odds like this before, and I sure don’t want them to start—especially not over me. I know it’s going to take a miracle to get through this, but I have to try.
“So when do we start?”
“How about now?”
Chapter Eight
It’s a bright, clear autumn day. The sky aches with blueness, and I feel the beauty in the sunlight dappling my skin. It’s the kind of day promising summer will go on forever.
But some of us know better than to believe blue skies.
It’s under that beautiful, cloudless canopy Lev and I sit, both watching as Evan explains how to find the center of the power fused to my body. The concrete step is cold, so I lean against Lev for warmth and support. His arm creeps around me, and he holds me tightly, as though he’ll never have to let go. I’m hoping he doesn’t.
"The hardest part will be for you to single out where the power resides, Elizabeth."
I chew my bottom lip. "But why should that be so hard?"
Evan glances over his shoulder at the sky. "Because while the power merged with you, it has hidden itself deeply, and it only seems to surface when you lose control."
I edge my foot toward a daisy weed that has grown up through a crack in our front walk. Yeah, I'm listening, but that doesn't mean I really want to hear what he's saying. In addition to Evan's gaze settling on me, I also feel Lev's weighted stare. Have I mentioned how little I enjoy being the center of attention?
"So how do you suggest I find it?"
"You have to be able to return to that trance world where the powers first surged."
My throat is suddenly dry, and I stand, more as a shock reaction than anything else. I remember that world, and it involved killing two people I love. He's insane if he thinks I'd go back willingly.
"No," I counter, setting my hands on my hips. "There has to be another way."
Evan takes a deep breath and cocks an eyebrow as he stares ahead and finally nods. "There is, but I don't think you want to go down that road."
"Isn't that my choice?" From the corner of my eye, I see Lev rest his forearms atop his thighs and hang his head. His eyes are closed, and I'm suddenly thinking that whatever my second choice might be, I'm probably going to hate it worse than the first option.
"We can provoke you to draw the power out so we can locate it. The problem with that—”
"Is that somebody might wind up dead," I finish. My body starts trembling, and I want to run away; the one thing I know is that since Evan is probably still protected from the dagger's power, the most likely target would be Lev—and there's absolutely no way I'm doing that. Period.
I grit my teeth and try to believe this really is a good idea I just happen to hate, but after so much of my life has turned into a nightmare, that's a really hard thing to accept.
"All right. I think the first option is better," I agree in a clipped tone. "But I'm not sure how you think I can get there. It's not like I can click my heels three times and say, ‘There's no place like hell. There's no place like hell. There's no place like hell,’ and magically send myself there."
"You're right," Evan patiently agrees. "It's not like that. It's more of a hypnotic state the power puts you into where it controls your body and you’re unable to."
I swallow hard. "Gee, that's comforting."
"Actually, I think it's a good thing because if we can get you back into a similar state, we might be able to find the source within you and find a way to usurp the control it has."
I fold my arms across my abdomen. "And what happens if the power decides to kick in while we’re working through the control issues? Would that, too, result in someone getting hurt?"
Evan frowns and shakes his head. "I don't know, Elizabeth. In all my years of dealing with humans, this is the first time something like this has happened, and it's pretty unsettling to say the least."
You have no idea, I think, peering up at the sky which seems to have suddenly changed. The clouds are gliding across the sky faster, and it seems like a storm might be coming.
"If there’s a chance I could go off, I don't want to be anywhere near here. I won't take a chance with Jimmie or Griffin." I glance at Lev where he stares at the ground. "That goes for you, too."
His head jerks up, and he abruptly stands. Behind him, I can see the faint shimmer of his wings. I've come to realize that whenever he’s upset, he has less control over total concealment. Not that it matters. I think I'm the only human who has ever been able to recognize him for what he is.
"No, you aren't about to do this alone. Period." His fingers ball into fists, and he shakes his head.
"Then I won't do it at all. This isn't a compromise, Lev. Besides, I won't be by myself, and you know it. Evan will be with me."
"No!" Lev snaps, shaking his head defiantly. You need more than just Evan to be there."
I turn to Evan and shoot him a warning look to get Lev to come to his senses; I'm not giving in on this battle. I might have to do this, but I don't have to do it in a place where I could hurt someone.
Evan looks from me to Lev and back before he finally shakes his head. "I don't think you're going to win this one, Lev. She's made up her mind, and she's the one who actually has to do this. If she's willing to try, she's not being unreasonable in what she is asking."
"You think not?" he growls. "The two of us are the only ones standing between her and the Triune. She's asking one of us to step aside, leaving only one line of defense to protect her."
"No, I'm asking you not to put yourself in danger. There's a difference!" I snap.
"Lev, it's her choice, and you have to respect that."
While he might, I can tell by the way he's glaring at me he's not happy about it. He folds his arms across his chest and shakes his head, like he knows I'm making some huge mistake. Maybe I am, but at least it won't get him killed.
"Fine. Whatever," he finally manages and turns to the door. Without another word, he trudges inside and slams the door. For a second, I want to burst out laughing at the thought of an angelic temper tantrum, but that’d only make all this worse.
"I don't think he much cared for that," I murmur, still staring at the door.
"Can you blame him? He loves you, Elizabeth, and he would do anything to protect you."
I shake my head and turn toward Evan. "Yeah, but who’s going to protect him from me?"
"You've got a point," he murmurs, his gaze turning back toward the heavens.
"All right. So now what do we do?"
"Head back to Knoxville to the community center. It's still closed for renovation, and we can work through the trance stage there."
I shudder and draw a shaky breath, still trying to make that sound like something I want to try. "Do we have to go there?"
"It's the perfect location, Elizabeth. We have plenty of room to do whatever we need, and if the Triune finds us there, we can plan a strategy to deal with them."
"I...just don't have good memories of that place. I haven't been since...you know…."
He shakes his head. "Yeah, but it will be okay. Are you willing to at least try?"
I nod , se
nsing I don't have much choice. "Okay."
He points to my Jeep, and we start toward it. I pause to fish my keys out, and he looks at me. "There is one more thing you should be aware of."
"Which is?" I don't know why, but the way he says that creeps me out.
"While you might be able to keep Lev out of this stage of training, we will need him after you locate your power."
I nod, but inside I'm far from agreeable. Okay, maybe I've made stupid choices that have resulted in me being a guinea pig, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to drag Lev into the middle of it, no matter how bad it gets.
From outside the community center, it really doesn't seem as though much has changed. The parking lot is deserted, and the building is dark, so it's easy to tell it's closed. But there’re no visible signs of what happened here the night I almost died and angels were destroyed; it's like no battle even occurred here. But I know better, and while I'm not a huge believer in the supernatural side of things, falling in love with an angel has definitely opened my eyes to the possibilities all around me.
"I hate this place," I mutter as Evan comes from around the passenger side of the Jeep to join me.
"I don't blame you for that."
I nod toward the locked door. "How are we going to get inside?"
"Celia gave me her key." He sets his palm at the middle of my back and nudges me forward. "Come on. Let's get started."
"All right." I move stiffly forward, but my gaze remains on the ground. This place gives me the creeps, if you want to know the truth.
Evan pulls out his keys and unlocks the door. He slips in first because he knows the layout of the place so much better than I do, and I follow, pretty much in the dark until he flips on the lights.
The hallway, as I remember, opens up in two directions: one goes to the left and all the offices, the other to the right opening into a full-sized basketball court, where I decided stabbing myself with a holy relic would be a good idea. I'm still trying to live that one down.
Still, even as I glance around, everything pretty much looks the same, which really only makes this more difficult. I mean, this whole damned thing resulted in changing my life and destroying any chance I had with Lev, and yet the world looks the same, at least from this angle. Why? Shouldn't it be as scarred and damaged as I feel? Why am I the only one bearing the brunt of this pain?
"Where are we going?" I ask. My gaze wants to go toward the offices, but I have a feeling that's not the direction my feet and body will be headed.
"To the court. It's more open, and that way, should anything untoward happen, I have space to react appropriately."
I shove my keys into my pocket and start walking only because he's nudging me down the hallway yet again.
Anyone who claims angels are patient needs to have his head examined. I'm just saying....
"Do you think something will happen?" I ask, trying to keep my voice much calmer than I feel.
"It's hard to say. I'm not really expecting anything, but I am going to be prepared."
Folding my arms across my chest, I try not to dwell on the fear eating me alive, but it's so hard.
"You know why I didn't want Lev to come, didn't you?"
"Because you wanted a living angel?" he smirks, and under other circumstances, I’d see what would remind me of a family resemblance between Evan and Lev if they really were father and son. As it is, I just have to assume it's because they know each other so well.
"So you think I'm being over-protective?" I glare at him, not at all liking the way he finds this amusing.
"Not at all. You've had some pretty bad experiences. But you have to remember that Lev can take care of himself."
I shrug. "Yeah, well, I’ll just bet Jayzee thought she could take care of herself, too, but things didn't exactly work out for her did they?"
Lev is much older than Jayzee or Sarah—older and more experienced.”
"Good to know," I mutter, still not convinced.
As we step into the gym, I see signs of what happened. Lots of tiles from the ceiling are missing and the insulation hangs through the gaping holes. Some of the light fixtures are broken. There are sizeable scorch marks on the floor, and places stained by blood.
My blood.
I step back and run into Evan.
"Sorry," I whisper, suddenly trembling like crazy.
"You all right?" Evan gently takes my arm. I don't know if it's because he thinks I'm going to pass out or run away. Either way, does it really matter?
"I...hate this place."
He nods. "I know. But we won't be here forever."
I point to the blood. "Why hasn't anyone cleaned that up?"
He shrugs. "They've tried. Several times. The problem is, the blood apparently fused with the magical properties of your gift, and there is no way to remove the stain short of tearing out the floor, and right now the center, like every other business, is just struggling to stay afloat, Elizabeth."
He’s got a point; I know he does. I just can't seem to make myself stop staring at it—at the floor. And then my mind plays back those moments when Lev was tied in that chair and I almost destroyed him. Kane almost won.
It was so close, and right now I'm having trouble breathing. Evan gently grabs my arm and nods toward the stain.
"I know what you are thinking, and there is no point in going there. That part is over. But there's still a whole lot of things we need to get through right now."
I force myself to take a deep, cleansing breath and meet his gaze. "All right. I'm ready to get this show on the road. What do you want me to do?"
"It would probably be easier if you lie on the floor. Your body might be more relaxed and go into the trance-like state more quickly."
"Okay." I sit on the floor and eventually lie back. "Did I mention the floor is hard?"
"Nope, but thanks for letting me know." Evan's arms dangle awkwardly at his sides, and I'm wondering if the reason they seem to look so odd is that he's so tense.
"How sure are you that you'll be able to block whatever I might throw at you?"
He shrugs. "I guess we'll have to see, won't we. Now close your eyes."
I clench my eyes shut, but even though I try to relax, my heart is jack hammering in my chest, and all I can hear is the racing of my pulse in my temples.
"You're going to have to relax, "Elizabeth. We definitely don't want to find the power center when you are stressing; I don't know what will happen, if we do."
"I'm trying," I growl. "It's not as easy as it looks, you know."
"You sure you don't want me to call Lev?"
"No!" I snap. "Just give me a minute." Yet I know he's right. Lev could calm me in two seconds. Then again, he could be dead right after. No thanks.
I try to focus on letting my body turn to jelly, which isn't easy on a hardwood floor. Carpet would definitely have been better, but for some reason Evan thinks he needs a wide open space, and I'm not about to question him. He knows more about the dagger and its power than I do so whatever he says short of trying to get Lev anywhere close I’m good with.
My heart rate finally start to slow, and the cramping that’s been nagging my left shoulder finally eases. Of course, the side-effect of all this relaxation is that it makes me want to sleep, and that's the last thing I need to think about. Sleeping isn't going to find this power.
"How is it coming?" I hear Evan's voice, but this time, it's in my thoughts, probably his way of keeping me from stirring from this state.
"It's starting to work. I'm not nearly as tense."
"Okay, now I want you to think about how the world looked when the power seized you. Focus on what that was like."
"You don't expect miracles or anything," I mutter.
"I'm not expecting anything you can't handle, Elizabeth. You are an extraordinary girl. You knew what Lev was before he ever revealed himself. You can do this."
I wish I had the assurance he seems to possess. Still, I think about how my vision shifted from all th
e colors to grey before the white outlines of angelic bodies appeared.
"Keep focusing," Evan urges in my mind. "That is the key to being able to find your way."
At first, nothing happens except my head starts to ache, which makes me want to stop, but I can't; I have to see this through.
As I think of the shift that occurred right before the power took over, I start to notice the slightest waver in my perception. My mind locks onto the brilliant white I remember from Jayzee's form, and even though part of me wants to squirm away and banish the thoughts from my mind, I force myself to hold on, knowing that while it is difficult, I can feel something. It has to be the power.
"Elizabeth? Do you feel anything different?"
"A little." I swallow hard
"Try opening your eyes."
My shoulders want to stiffen as I hear his command, but I force myself not to react. I have to hold onto the calm, or the power will consume me, and nothing good with come from that, even if Evan can keep himself safe. Taking one last deep, cleansing breath, I force my eyes to open.
The grey is there, which is when my heart starts jumping and I snap my eyes shut. I don't want to see Evan standing there, the white glow giving him away. I don't want to feel his presence near me because I know what could happen.
"Keep your eyes open, Elizabeth," Evan orders.
"I don't want to hurt you," I whisper.
"You won't. You have to trust me."
I know he's right, but he sure wasn't around when I killed Jayzee. He didn't feel the power surge through him, destroying her so completely while he was forced to watch. He can't begin to know what that was like. I was horrified, and she was an enemy; if I killed Evan, it would be worse.
"I can take care of myself, Elizabeth. You have to do this."
"All right," I manage, forcing myself to re-open my eyes. Around me, the world unfolds in shades of grey; I haven't raised my gaze to find Evan yet, so everything looks the same.
Anathema (Sojourner Series Book 4) Page 9
