He folds his arms across his chest. “You can handle it? No, you can’t. This isn’t like Colin and Kane. These angels don’t spend time on earth, and they are not accustomed to humans, Elizabeth. You face them head-on, and it will likely end up with you dying, and I don’t want that.” His blue eyes appear deeper, a furious ocean swept up in a storm.
“So you’d rather I just hang around and kill you and Celia? Is that your game plan?” I ask as the memories come swimming back. “Well, since I don’t think you can figure out anything better, I think I’ll just stick to my plan, thank you very much.”
The sky is still blue and the flowers are still gorgeous, but I find myself suddenly angry at Lev. At least I know he’s still alive, but how in the world has he sneaked into my dreams again?
Or is all of this just the product of my exhausted imagination?
Lev grabs my arm and shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter how I’m doing this, Elizabeth. We have to talk because you are in an incredible amount of danger. You need to come home.”
I try to pull away, but he refuses to let me go. “Have you talked to Evan about this? I’m willing to bet he probably thinks it’s a blessing in disguise that I’ve run away; he sure didn’t know how he was going to deal with you on one side of things and him on the other. And he shouldn’t have to.” I finally jerk my arm free.
“Can’t we leave Evan out of this?” For an angel, he’s suddenly peeved, and right about now, the shimmer that usually hides his wings has given way to his true nature.
“I’m trying to leave Evan out of everything—and you and Celia as well. This isn’t your problem, Lev. You didn’t make that choice about the dagger. I did. Now I have to face the consequences.”
Lev’s wings twitch slightly, and I’m wondering if they just do that when he’s angry. Of course, I’ve never really seen Lev angry before. Upset, yes, but not angry. I wasn’t even sure if he could suddenly blow up or if that was just a human ‘thing.’ I guess this pretty much tells me his emotions are human enough.
"Maybe you think you deserve this because of the choices you made, but we all had a hand in what happened. If I hadn’t stupidly handed over the dagger to begin with, you wouldn't be in this mess. If I had just thought to be honest with you up front instead of trying to protect you, you never would have been deceived by Kane. There're a million variables that led up to this course of action, any of which could have been changed at some point and taken you out of the position you were forced into."
I shrug. "Okay. Maybe that’s true, but it doesn't change where we are now, Lev. Nothing can change that, and we both know it. The best I can do is try to find some way to face what’s going on and stay away from anyone who could get hurt. That means you!"
I start to walk away, but he grabs my arm. "Elizabeth, I love you. I have devoted my existence to watching over you. You're making a choice that doesn't just involve you. No matter what happens, your life has become entangled with mine, and I deserve to have a say in how it turns out."
His fingers squeeze my arm tightly, and his mouth forms a neutral frown. The glowI associate with him has dimmed slightly. I'm not sure if it's the dream or his disposition. This is just another hint that as much as I know about Lev, there is still so much I don't know about angels. Or him.
"I know you want to protect me and that every fiber of your body screams that I'm wrong to do this—but look at things from my perspective. You kept your distance from me because you thought you were protecting me. How could I act any differently?"
I reach out and stroke his face. His cheek warms my hand, and I can tell by the troubled look in his eyes this isn't going the way he wants it to. He gently grabs my hand and kisses my wrist.
"I know." His voice is so quiet I can barely hear it. "You have reasons for doing this, but it's killing me to be apart from you, Elizabeth. I don't know how to do this."
"Give yourself time," I whisper.
"Please come home. Jimmie is worried about you. I've never seen him like this."
At those words, I stiffen and consider coming home. Then again, Lev knows how much I worry over Jimmie, and he'd probably try anything now just to get me back there—not that I blame him, of course. I'd do the same.
"I can't do that, and we both know why." Our eyes meet, and in his, I see regret and loneliness. "You have to promise to take care of him for me until I can come back. Promise."
"No," he whispers. "I won't be here. I'll be looking for you."
With that, he pulls away. There're a million things I could say to him, but none of them would change his mind. He's like me in that regard. Or I'm like him.
"I love you, Lev," I say as he starts to shimmer out of sight.
"I love you, too," he whispers.
I jerk upright to find I’m gasping for air; tears stream down my face. Once again, a dream has reminded me my life has become far different than I ever thought it could be, and so not in a good way.
Then again, whoever expects to fall in love with one angel while being chased by others because you've inherited a power you neither asked for nor wanted in the first place? If someone else has this kind of life, I really want to know. Maybe we can be therapists for each other or something.
The room is cold, and I shiver. For just a second, I listen for the sound of rain, wondering if it continued through the night, but there is only silence; I force myself to the window to peek out at a beautiful autumn day with pale sunlight dappling the ground from amid high tree branches. I grab my bag and sort through the clothes to find something new to wear so I can hit the one grocery store in town.
Although Hauser's Landing and Tellico Plains are miles apart, they sure do remind me of one another, and not necessarily in the best ways.
Although I usually like a long, hot shower, something about being in a strange place makes me rush through it. Oh yeah—that and my growling stomach.
So after a hasty shower, I get dressed, brush through my hair, and get back into the Jeep to drive around a bit. Although I'm not really thinking about where I'm going, I must be a little bit sentimental about this place because I end up driving past the old house that seemed to take forever to sell.
Before I get to it, I'm thinking maybe my memory makes it seem more run-down, but then, seeing it, I know my mind has actually minimized how it looked.
The driveway is empty, and I pause for just a minute as I'm driving past, my eyes shooting toward the garage where the word "Half-breed" had been painted before Lev covered it. It seems like a lifetime ago and yet I remember everything so clearly, including falling madly in love with Lev.
Shaking my head, I force myself to push the gas pedal and drive to the grocery store. I used to think nothing ever changed in small towns, but I must be wrong; nobody recognizes me at the store. Considering how much of a local celebrity I was, that has to mean something about change.
It wasn't that I sought the reporters. Actually, I tried to avoid them after Lev's death, but there was so much media hype over my dad's body being discovered and a respected history teacher being arrested for Lev's murder that I couldn't really have escaped the attention unless I’d fallen off the face of the earth or we moved.
Now I’ve come back and returned to the ‘nobody’ status I once prized. Believe me, I can't tell you what a relief that is.
I load my cart with low-maintenance foods because even though Griffin has given me free reign of the place, that doesn't mean I want to feel as though I've got a new home. This is just temporary, until I can figure out the waypoint on the map.
Or the Triune catches up with me. That's not an appealing thought, but it is a real possibility and something to consider. Once I've paid and everything has been bagged, I drive back to the cabin and unload my purchases before scarfing a sandwich or two. My stomach thanks me by calming down.
Then the boredom hits. The sheer solitude would do me in. I'm grateful for the free stay in this place, but there's no television, no music, and no books. Even my cell phone won't work. So
that pretty much sends me out so I can take some pictures and enjoy a little bit of time reacquainting myself with the beauty this place does have to offer.
That decided, I grab my camera and head out the door. At first, I consider driving to the cemetery but, at the last moment change my mind and turn into the parking lot for the trail that goes past the falls. It's kind of weird thinking about getting out here, considering what happened the last time I was here. The last thing I need is to fall over the rail; this time, Lev won't be there to catch me.
Frowning, I try not to think of all the things that hurt. Instead, I pocket my keys and grab my camera before locking my door and starting up the trail.
It's definitely much colder here, but at least it hasn't snowed. Something small to be grateful for. I peer at the sky, which is still colored by the sun, and I find myself grateful that there are no rain clouds hovering nearby. After this many days of storms, I'm glad to have a break and see the sun for a change.
Autumn is beautiful here, and the leaves are in full transition, coloring the world in jewel tones before eventually leaving the branches. That is the one thing I do like about New England--fall. There's no more perfect place to experience it.
I guess it's a good thing I have lots of room on my camera's memory card because once I start taking pictures, it's always hard for me to stop. The trail offers lots of beautiful places to take pictures of the trees, and occasionally the river appears between gaps in the underbrush. I photograph the deep and wild water, but even that triggers memories, and with the memories, Lev is always present.
And then I remember the deep ache in my heart that can never be filled without him.
Just when I can’t take it anymore, I force myself to start walking the trail which will eventually pass the falls. It’s a good mile, and I’m grateful for every distraction provided—anything to keep me from thinking too hard about all the things I can’t change.
Taking a deep breath, I watch the birds scatter through the trees, and I smile, remembering how much I used to like to watch them. It’s been so long since I took a walk like this to relax. Right now, I’m not exactly relaxed; I still feel the weight of the world resting on my shoulders, but I know it could be worse. At least there is peace and quiet. I don’t know how long it’s going to last, but I’ll take what I can get.
The sound of the rushing water from the falls tells me I’m close, which makes me walk that much faster. Although I’ve worn a jacket, the cooler air around the falls makes me shiver. I shove my hands deep in my pockets and round the last corner. Although I’ve been here before, the beauty still takes my breath away, and I stop the moment I glimpse the curtain of water cascading toward the pool below.
I was no less troubled the last time I came here, and I didn’t expect to find Lev’s secret, but there it was, waiting. I start walking again and stop only when my hands touch the cold rail. Even though the falls are quite a distance away, I still feel the water spraying my face. On one hand, it is really chilly, but on another, it makes me feel alive, which is pretty amazing considering what I’m facing.
“Enjoying the view?”
I whirl around. Sarah stands there. That should make me panic. But I think the black gun in her hand is doing a better job of freaking me out.
“Sarah, please don’t.” I grip the rail and try to focus on breathing. I know I don’t want to use the power, but I don’t think I’ve got a choice. I start thinking about the center of energy within me. I’m reaching for the white glow. I just don’t know if I can find it quickly enough.
“Why not? You ruined my life. I think one good turn deserves another.” She raises the gun. “Good thing I decided to follow you. It’ll make it so much easier to finish things here rather than close to Evan and Lev.”
I feel the energy within me. I envision a ball in the pit of my stomach. My vision quickly shifts. I hear the safety of the gun flip off.
“Goodbye, Lizzie. Have a nice death.”
Suddenly Sarah is a glow of white light, and the pain hits as the brighter glow jumps from my body to hers. She just stands there for a moment. I hear the gun go off. More pain. Then I feel myself slipping into blackness.
Chapter Thirteen
Pain and chills jerk me from the blackness. Small rocks poke the side of my face from the uneven ground, and as I move my arm to sit up, pain shoots through it. I cry out and draw it close to my body—as if that will make the pain go away.
My stomach rumbles uneasily, and for a moment I feel as though I’m going to vomit. I close my eyes, waiting for the world to stop spinning, but this is one ride I can’t seem to get off. My head feels stuffed with rags and it’s so hard to focus, especially with the pain. Gritting my teeth, I force myself to open my eyes and look at my arm.
Blood. Great. I guess Sarah didn’t totally miss, after all, and I don’t know the first thing about dealing with a bullet wound. It’s not exactly something I ever expected to need to know. Wincing, I see that some of the blood has soaked into the ground; I shiver, wondering how much danger I’m in now.
I happen to glance over at Sarah’s prone form, the gun still curled in her fingers. Her long, blonde hair spills across her face, hiding her last expression, and my breath catches. I killed her. Still, knowing is one thing; being faced with what I’ve done is quite another, one I am so much less comfortable with. I don’t want to be an executioner, but I don’t remember the last time anyone asked me what I wanted, so I guess that really doesn’t matter much, does it?
Which brings me to the next problem. If the Triune is tracking me based on power usage, they’ll be coming here. There’s probably no way they missed the surge that just killed Sarah. It would appear my luck is finally running out.
I grip the rail, struggling to stand. It’s not easy considering how weak I am. As I finally manage to get to my feet, the world spins violently, forcing me to keep holding on.
How long have I been here?
I look down at my watch, but the glass face is cracked, probably from when Sarah shot me; the hands have stopped. Time is frozen at 11:30. My vision goes a little haywire, and I blink two or three times to clear it.
I force myself to take a couple of steps, but my balance is so messed up. I keep feeling like I’m going to fall forward, so I compensate by leaning back slightly, and I keep telling myself to breathe. Just to breathe.
Four steps later, and I find myself in front of Sarah’s body. As I look down at her, I finally see the gist of her expression. Her eyes are wide. Her lips part slightly, and her expression is twisted into a horrified grimace. I know she thought she could shoot me before the power got her, and if Evan hadn’t given me those two lessons, she would have been right--and I would be the one lying here.
My teeth start chattering from the cold. My head hurts. I tuck my wounded arm close to my body and set the other one atop it as I start down the trail. It seems so much longer than when I walked up it. I fall once or twice. Each time, it seems to take longer to get to my feet. I can literally feel my body slowing down, probably because I’m still bleeding. I have to stop to vomit. My hand trembles wildly as I wipe my face.
By the time I’m back at the Jeep, my vision is really doing strange things. I stagger to the driver’s side and lean against it, hoping I can drive myself back to the cabin. After that, I have no clue what’s going to happen or how I’m going to get through this.
I jam the key into the door, unlock it, and clamber inside. The pain surges not only in my arm but also my head. I feel weak, which isn’t good—not at all. I tug the door closed behind me and lean against the steering wheel.
My cell rings, and I jump. It’s the last thing I expect right now, considering I didn’t think I had a signal. Forcing myself to sit up, I reach into my pocket and drag it out. The display says Griffin, so I’m guessing it’s safe to answer.
“Hello,” I manage, thrusting the key into the ignition.
“Are you okay?” Griffin half-whispers.
“Yes,”
I mutter, leaning back in the seat, hoping that will ease the nausea because I really don’t want to get sick again.
“You don’t sound okay,” he accuses. “What’s going on?”
“Can Lev hear you?” Even I can tell my voice sound strange, breathy.
“No. Everyone is frantically searching for you. Now what is going on?”
I cringe at the thought of Jimmie and Lev tearing Tellico Plains apart, trying to find me. “How’s Lev?”
“He’s fine. Evan worked on him and managed to quell the damage from your attack. You’re not answering my question, Lizzie. What’s going on?”
“Sarah. She followed me here.” I look down at my arm. My vision is clear enough to see the growing blood stain soaking into my jacket.
“What happened?” he asks. At first, I don’t answer, so he gets even louder, as if my hearing is the problem. “Damn it, Lizzie. Talk to me.”
I close my eyes, trying to drive the blood away. But it isn’t going to stop no matter what I do. “She had a gun….” My voice dies off.
“Are you hurt?” I know Griffin’s tone. It’s the one that sounds calm when he isn’t.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Are you hurt?” The calm is gone. “If you don’t answer, I drive down myself and find out—or call the police to check on you.”
“You can’t come here, Griffin. I killed Sarah. The Triune will be coming. They won’t have missed the surge that killed her.”
“I don’t give a damn about Sarah. Are you hurt?”
“She shot me. In the arm.”
For a second, I just hear his panicked breathing. In. Out. In. Out. “How bad is it?”
“I don’t know.” I turn the heater on, hoping that will warm me up. I’m freezing.
“Is the bullet still in your arm?”
I cringe, knowing the answer is going to freak him out. “Yes.”
“Go to the hospital now,” he orders.
“No. The Triune can find me at the hospital. There will be too many innocent people there who could get hurt. I can’t.”
Anathema (Sojourner Series Book 4) Page 13
