As I sit, I feel the stillness of the room smothering me. I squeeze his hand. “I know you want to be here with me, Lev, and I know this is harder than you thought it could be, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.”
I stroke the top of his palm, waiting for his eyes to open. I know he’s still lost somewhere in this body—I refuse to believe otherwise—and that monitor, with its spikes and lows, only confirms what I believe. I don’t know how long I sit there. The clock above measures the time with the constant ticking of the second hand, yet I’m in no hurry to leave. I don’t care how long it takes for Lev to return. I can be patient. He waited seven lifetimes for me. These are just moments.
The door opens, and Jimmie walks in with Evan. Both carry Styrofoam coffee cups. Strange to think of an angel as needing coffee; then again, Evan isn’t exactly a regular angel, I guess. Jimmie glances at Lev and then steps over to me. He sets his hand on my shoulder.
“How you holding up, kiddo?”
“I’m fine,” I whisper, knowing I’m probably less fine now than I’ve ever been. It’s not about the physical. It’s about all the other stuff. .
“Shouldn’t you get back to your bed?” Evan asks. “You look a little tired.”
Jimmie’s already agreeing with him, trying to pull me to my feet as if I don’t have a say in any of this. “Can’t I stay for a few more minutes? Please? I’ve missed him.”
They look at each other like both know nothing is going to change; I can see hope has fled their expressions, and it hurts to look at them. But I still believe. I have to.
“All right,” Jimmie agrees. “Evan and I will get some breakfast, and then I’ll take you to your room, okay?” He squeezes my arm reassuringly.
“Okay.”
Once again, they depart, and I can’t say I’m not glad to see them go. Even if Lev is unconscious, I want time with him alone. Maybe it doesn’t make any difference, but that doesn’t change me wanting it.
I reach out and touch his face, my fingers skimming his cheek and move to the hard line of his jaw. One moment, I’m looking at his profile. Then next, I see myself in those blue eyes that just keep blinking as though the morning light hurts.
“Elizabeth?” he manages with his dry throat. He licks his parched lips.
“Lev?” I, too, keep blinking, thinking I’m seeing only what I want to see—that perhaps I’ve fallen asleep and this is all a dream. Then he reaches for my hand.
He looks like he wants to speak, but his throat is dry, and I reach out and grab the cup at his bedside, gently lifting his head and putting the straw into his mouth. He takes a few sips before releasing the straw.
“I’m glad to see you,” he whispers, trying to smile.
“Me, too.” I lean in and kiss his forehead.
“Where am I?”
“In the hospital.”
He blinks two or three times and frowns slightly. “I don’t understand. Why?” His eyelids start fluttering like he’s tired.
“It’s a long story, and right now, you need to see the doctor.”
I start to stand and walk away when he grabs my hand. “Please stay,” he whispers.
“I’ll be back. Always.” I kiss his cheek. He strokes my face.
“You look like an angel,” he whispers. “And I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Chapter Twenty
The sun hangs low in the sky, ready to sink beyond the horizon as we sit at the lake by our house in Tellico Plains. The water is still, and the sky reflects itself in it like a sherbet watercolor painting as we sit on the shore just beyond a thick stretch of reeds and cattails.
It’s been six months since the day Lev woke up and everything changed. It took him at least six weeks to recover, and during that time, I never left him. Even today, as I watch him look out over the water, I see his distant expression, as though he’s not really here with me, not entirely.
I squeeze his hand and smile. “Everything okay?”
He nods. “Yeah.” He wraps his arm around me, and I lay my head against his shoulder. His heartbeat is steady and strong—everything I’ve ever wanted in him.
“Do you regret not being an angel anymore?” It’s a hard question because I’m afraid of the answer. What if I’ve taken something from him that he didn’t want to let go of?
“No. I admit, there are things I miss about it, but if I had to choose between you or that, I’d choose you all over.” He kisses my forehead, and I feel his fingers gently stroke my arm.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, closing my eyes and nestling closer.
Lev pulls back enough so he can look at me. “Whatever for?”
“This isn’t the life you planned.” I brush the hair from my eyes.
He smiles and shakes his head. “Maybe not. God didn’t give me the master plan, after all. But the thing is, after losing you for seven lifetimes, this would be the only way it could work out so we could be together, Elizabeth. There was no way it could have worked between an angel and a human, no matter how much we loved each other.”
A flock of geese flies over our heads, gradually swooping low enough to until they skim into the water and break the reflection, leaving only a rippling of orange fire in the water. I reach out and grasp his hand.
“It’s hard to believe the first time I saw you I thought you were dangerous.”
He smiles and looks at me with those ocean-blue eyes. “I would have done anything for you. Anything.” He eases himself to a standing position and gently pulls me up by my elbow. “Let’s take a walk, Elizabeth.”
As we head toward the setting sun, I feel Lev limp slightly, the only lingering effect of the injuries that made him mortal. The geese swim toward us, rippling the water more, and as I look out at the end of another day, I marvel at how perfect it is. I savor the feel of Lev’s hand braced on the small of my back, his fingers gently pressing my skin just above my shirt.
“Did you think it could be like this?” I lean against him.
“I’d hoped. For the longest time I wasn’t sure. It was like a tangled road I didn’t know how to navigate. I just knew you were on that road, and wherever you were, that’s where I needed to be.”
“So what happens now?” I ask, licking my lips.
“Whatever we want to happen.”
“It’s so hard to believe.” We walk around the lake and head toward the house, taking each step as it comes. As usual, I notice Lev towers over me, and it makes me feel so much stronger, knowing he is with me—so much more complete with him than I ever could be alone.
As we reach the porch, I see the lights glowing inside the living room as Jimmie sits in his recliner, watching television. Lev holds the door open for me, and I slip inside.
Jimmie looks up from the game. “Just in time for the fun.” He waves a beer at the screen.
“I thought we were already having fun,” I say, smiling.
“Me, too,” Lev agrees.
“There’s pizza in the kitchen,” Jimmie says. “In case you’re hungry.”
“Yum!” I smile and take Lev’s hand to lead him into the kitchen. “Let’s go get some food.”
“I’m following you.” We walk into the kitchen, I open the box, and Lev pulls out a couple of slices for each of us. I set them on paper plates and hand one to Lev, and we sit together. It’s strange now how normal things seem; I still keep looking for the aura of his wings. I don’t know how long I’m going to keep looking for things I’ll never see again.
As we eat, Griffin and Celia come in. They also take pizza, and there is something different that at first doesn’t make sense. But then, as I watch them smile and laugh, I know. I recognize the warmth that seems to flicker between them because it’s the same as what I feel burning between Lev and me.
I can tell by the way they stand, just apart enough so they don’t give anything away, they aren’t yet ready to reveal all to us.
I look at Lev and know that some things that take time last forever.
Anathema (Sojourner Series Book 4) Page 20
