“We haven’t even decided on a name yet and you want to take him away from me.” Tears stung my eyes.
“Oh, honey, no. Don’t cry.”
“I can’t help it!” I wailed. “You’re trying to take him from me.”
“I promise you I’m not. I just thought it would give you the chance to heal and recover.”
He held onto my hand but I shook him away. Furious. How could he think this was for the best? A baby needed its mother…
I wanted to pace around the room, to rant and rave, but my legs felt like lead and every time I moved pain shot through my insides and yet I still tried to swing my legs over the side of the bed.
“Vi, stop moving, you’re going to hurt yourself.”
He grabbed hold of my legs and held them before pushing them back easily under the covers. He smoothed his hands over my limbs trying to calm me. A silence fell between us. My raging breath the only thing to be heard.
Through gritted teeth I glared at him and said, “I don’t care how you fix it, but either we all leave, as a family, or not at all.”
His shoulders dropped, and I watched as the vein in his neck, visible above the cut of his polo shirt, pulsed with impatience. Drake took another moment then turned to me. The fight in him escaping as if he were one of the deflating balloons in the room.
“Okay. We do it your way.” Drake kissed my forehead then started toward the door.
“Thanks,” I whispered under my breath, feeling compelled to the say the word but not really meaning it. I hated when he was mad at me, or when we argued, but on this occasion I knew I was in the right.
A day passed without any progress. Another day stuck in the hospital bed and boring room.
Barbara, my step-mother and mother-in-law, bustled into the room, her face split into a wide grin when her eyes fell upon me. She looked how I was supposed to be feeling but there was nothing but tension in my face, and I returned her smile with a forced pull of my lips.
Everything still hurt, my body ached, and I could feel a tingling, a kind of itchiness across my belly, knitting back together. They were weaning me off the drugs but at least I still had this little clicker that would send relief every so often… not that it was often enough, of course.
“How you doing, sweetie?” Barbara asked and pulled up a chair. “You nearly ready to go?”
She took my hand and gave it a sympathetic squeeze.
“Can’t wait,” I replied curtly. “This room, it’s like a cage…” I said letting the thought trail off.
“Won’t be long now. Drake’s doing the best he can to get it sorted. You may need to compromise a little bit though.” Barbara’s thin eyebrows raised with hope. “The hospital is not happy with his demands.”
“I know. The nurses keep giving me these cold stares. Like they think I’m blaming them or something.”
The door creaked and Drake, now dressed in a handsome suit, joined us. He was no longer in his casual attire and I had to think he’d put on the equivalent of a suit of armour to go to battle for me with the hospital administrators and lawyers.
He stood awkwardly behind his mother, and I could tell it wasn’t good news. “One more day, Vi. Tomorrow morning is the earliest that they’ll release you… as long as nothing happens in the meantime.”
I sighed, I just wanted to go home with our baby, I wanted to see Leah, and be around our things and be where I belonged. But I knew what he meant when he said as long as nothing happened, he was referring to my condition. I’d been bleeding on and off and it hadn’t helped that I’d pulled my stitches in the night during another bout of nightmares.
“It will have to do,” I said, determined to keep as still as I could and not perpetuate any further blood loss. I could do that.
Barbara patted my hand. “Well, then. That’s not so bad, is it? Meanwhile we can get the baby settled and—”
“You’re still taking him home?”
“Please, Vi, don’t get upset,” Drake said and walked around to the other side of the bed.
He was right, I had to be calm, I had to breathe through the anger and keep still. To jeopardise going home now would be stupid on my part. But I clenched my teeth together and hissed. “You promised!”
“It’s only a few hours, he’ll be with me and my mom. It’s better than him staying in that nursery. Please do this for me, Vi. I can’t leave him in there.”
The thought of my baby alone in the nursery, with only nurses to care for him, broke my heart. They’d insisted that it was best for my recovery to only have him with me a few hours of the day. I wasn’t able to lift him properly yet; couldn’t get out of bed for the most part to pick him up. He had to be handed to me and taken away, like I was some sort of criminal with only visitation rights to my own child.
“And you promise that I’ll be home tomorrow morning?”
He nodded. “I’ll break you out of here come hell or high water. You just have to do your part and rest. Less than twenty-four hours and you’ll be with us. Together, like it’s meant to be.”
He raised his hand toward my face, and gently dragged his knuckles across the apples of my cheeks, wiping away the silent tears. “Okay. Take our boy home.”
People, doctors, nurses and other patients looked at me like I was a circus freak as I was being rolled out… or maybe that was just my guilt getting the best of me? All the staff had been nice and I felt like I’d betrayed them somehow by sticking to my guns, wanting to go home and recover there.
Strong orderlies had lifted me onto the special bed and whisked me out of the building and into a private ambulance that Drake had somehow arranged. It wasn’t long till I felt the vehicle stop and the doors were opening again. Cold air drifted into the back of the ambulance, refreshing my face. To feel non-filtered, unsanitised air again was a luxury I didn’t think I needed. But I felt better already as they wheeled me towards our imposing apartment building.
Drake met us in the lobby, and took my hand instantly. The normal elevator for residents was way too small to accommodate the large hospital transport bed I was being wheeled about on and the men Drake had hired to get me here were forced to use the big service lift instead. Not that I cared, anything to get me where I wanted to be. I could hardly wait till I was back in my own bed, and had my children near me—both of them.
Drake led the way after he stepped off the lift onto our floor, passing the fire escape stairs and showing the orderlies the route through to the back of the apartment. I’d never had cause to come this way, but randomly realised this was probably the way they’d gotten that monstrosity of a white couch into the apartment.
The back door opened, leading into the kitchen and all of a sudden, as familiar rooms came into view and the smell of home washed over me, a cheer of happy voices echoed around the open-plan living room.
I was mortified.
My eyes were wide and unblinking. I was being ambushed. My head snapped to Drake for answers.
His smile was broad, but faltered when he saw my reaction. He spoke with the smile still plastered upon his face, “Everyone wanted to welcome you home.”
It was too late to turn back now and I was trapped in the bed, like a piece of meat on display. Forcing my hatred for the situation I buried the anger and did my best to return the beaming smiles everyone was giving me. Most of them weren’t my friends I noticed. Sigrid was there, of course. But the rest of them were Drake’s acquaintances or employees. A couple of suited men approached me, said their congratulations and get well soons, then stood awkwardly as they wondered what they were supposed to say next. I wasn’t in any way in the mood for small talk and I certainly wasn’t in the mood to help them out, to prompt them with topics of conversation, so I just lay there waiting for them to excuse themselves and go away. I needed these people to leave so I could catch up upon the time I’d lost with my new son.
In the background I noticed my dad and as he walked through the crowd to come to me, I saw he had the baby in his arms,
too.
“Someone’s been missing you, I think,” he said and passed him to my outstretch arms.
“Well, I know I’ve been missing him,” I replied as I cooed to the baby, enjoying the feel of his little body in my arms.
I grimaced in sympathy as he scrunched up his little face and grizzled at me. The cries soon became wails again and a hush fell across the room as countless eyes watched my failings of being a new mother. Feeling their gaze I kept mine pinned to my son’s, imploring him to settle. It had been so easy with Leah, a few rocks with her in my swaying arms, a couple of soothing words or melodies and she’d drift right back off to sleep or stare in silent wonder at all the objects around her.
But my little man was not having any of it.
Thankfully my dad stepped back in. “He’s just woken up and he seems a little angry about it, doesn’t he? Bit like me after my naps. Want me to take him while we get you all set up in your room?”
I shook my head, I’d waited for this moment for so long, a little bit of crying wasn’t going to stop me from holding my boy.
“Don’t you want to stay and say hello to everyone?” Drake said. He looked so happy that I was home, giddy and excited like a boy who’d stuffed his face with cake at a birthday party. That and he was still riding the high of becoming a father again.
I opened my mouth to answer but my father addressed Drake quietly. “Now’s not the time, she needs her rest.” Their eyes met and glared at each other over me and the squirming crying baby in my arms. Something wasn’t being said, I thought as I watched them.
“I just thought—”
“You didn’t think is the problem, Drake,” my dad snapped.
“Henry, shh. Now’s definitely not the time to have that conversation,” Barbara intervened.
I tried to reach a hand to my dad to thank him for the support but the distance was too far.
“What’s going on?” I asked, bewilderment.
“Nothing,” Drake replied almost instantly. He nodded to the orderlies again who’d been hovering in the background waiting for further instructions. “Let’s get you settled.”
They wheeled me away from the chattering crowd and down the hall following Drake. He walked with a purpose and didn’t look back. I expected the convoy to stop and turn into our bedroom but Drake didn’t pause at our bedroom door, instead he led them into the smaller bedroom. It was still very large in comparison to normal apartments but this wasn’t where I was meant to be.
“You’re relegating me to my old bedroom?” I said over the baby’s insistent cries.
Uneasy, he shifted. “I thought you’d be more comfortable here. Big bed to yourself, you know what I’m like, tossing and turning during all hours.”
“But—”
“There’s also all the equipment, for your pain relief…”
I didn’t have the strength to fight and sulked instead. The short journey seemed to have taken it out of me. And he was doing his best, I thought, but it didn’t make the irrational mountain of hurt feelings go away. They were only pilling up even more.
He moved to my side and soothed a light finger over our newborn’s cheeks. “I’ll be just across the way. And I can always set up and bring in a sofa bed if you get lonely. I’m not going to abandon you, you silly girl,” he said, his lips twitching, hoping that his words would placate me.
I shrugged irritably and concentrated on the squirming body that had become quite heavy in the few minutes I’d been holding him.
“Want me to take him?”
“We should really pick a name, you know,” I said, wanting to hold on a little longer, ignoring his question.
“We will. Give me a moment,” Drake said as he remembered the orderly’s presence. He spoke to them out in the hallways, thanking them and presumably paying them for their time.
Drake returned and closed the door upon the noise from my return party and a thick tension filled the room. He sat upon the edge of the bed and it was like we were suddenly strangers, with secrets that we were unwilling to share or admit to. Where had the ease of being with him gone? I shook the thoughts out of my head, scrambled predominantly by the still restless boy.
“He’s not getting too heavy for you?”
My arms trembled slightly and Drake must’ve seen as he started to rise to his feet.
“I can manage,” I said, my tone abrupt. I didn’t mean to snap, and I knew he was only trying to help but it just slipped out.
“Vi, it’s okay. You’re going to be shaky for a week or so, maybe longer, the doctors said. But you have to let me help you. You don’t need to be strong right now, that’s what you have me for. It’s why I got you a nanny, too, and a nurse to help with your recovery—”
“A nanny?” I said picking out the only word my mind latched onto. “We don’t need a nanny. I looked after Leah and I’ll do the same with her brother.”
He was losing patience with me, I could see it in his distant eyes. He’d put together a welcome home party but I’d spat that back into his face… and now I was doing it again.
“Be realistic, Vi.”
“I am. I’m his mother!” I said fiercely.
He got to his feet and started to pace the room. “You’re not supposed to get out of this bed, how are you going to change him? Or go to his crib in the night?”
“Stop yelling, you’re upsetting the baby,” I cried when really it was me who was shedding the tears.
“Please my love, just indulge me. At least for a few weeks ‘til you’re back on your feet.”
Two strangers entered the room shocking us into silence. Not even a knock and I took a dislike to them both instantly.
“Mr. Millar, do you require our assistance?” said the older of the two intruders and I presumed just by looking at her, her battle-axe-like features and no-nonsense demeanour, that this pudgy woman was probably the nurse.
A younger, shorter, and more slender woman with fiery red hair that was pinned neatly into a bun at the nape of her neck stood behind her—the nanny, no doubt. They’d already formed an alliance, I could tell, gotten acquainted and were ready to take over our lives; put it in order.
“Yes, that would be helpful. But just give us a moment please, Alice. Thank you.” Alice nodded and both women retreated out of the room. Probably waiting in the hallway, ready for his signal to strip the baby away and do what was best for me.
I gave him a sharp stare and tightened my grip upon my son.
He lowered his voice, insistent and with an edge. “I brought you home like you wanted, against medical advice, on the proviso that I hired the nurse and gave assurances that you would be taken care and not put under any further stress. Don’t make me go back on my word, Vi.”
Drake had never been cruel before, distant sometimes, but this determined tone was new. I took a quick intake of breath at the meaning beneath his words. He wouldn’t threaten to send me back there would he? Alone? Away from them all?
I had no choice. What could I do anyway? He was right I was stuck in this bed whether I liked it or not. The danger of me moving about too quickly was very real, after countless stitches around my sensitive areas due to the haemorrhage and internal tearing, it was possible that if I didn’t let them heal they would rupture and I’d start bleeding again.
Furious anger billowed my insides but only for a moment; I was drained and my proverbial sails dropped, unable to battle the raging winds. My eyes were ready to close, I needed to sleep anyway.
“Fine. But as soon as I’m well again they’re both gone.”
“That’s all I needed to hear.”
I thrust my arms out and he took our child. Before leaving he ducked his head to kiss me, but I turned my head at the last moment so he pecked nothing but air. He sighed.
Hearing his footfalls across the carpet I sank down into the pillows, curled myself up into a ball, and drew up the covers around me like a protective shield.
My situation hadn’t changed, not really. Only the lo
cation switched. Like a movie set, all around me the walls had transformed. They’d been taken away then replaced with familiar wall dressings, but ones that still contained me. They kept me within a lonely room and prisoner in my own house and body.
Chapter Three
“Mommy!” Leah yelled as she came into my room, the nanny firmly clasping onto her little hand. Leah slipped free and ran to the side of the bed. Instinctively I moved to reach her, to pick her up, but a stern voice, watchful from the other side of the room, made me stop.
“Mrs. Millar she’s too heavy for you. Let me help her up for you,” Becky, the young nanny said, chasing after Leah.
I grimaced at the girl. She’d been doing this for days. Politely telling me what to do and what not to do, in my own goddamn house and concerning my own bloody children. And though most of it was very reasonable it started to grate on me. Her smug all-knowing face was always in the background whenever she deemed it okay for me to see my kids, like a supervising social worker.
Drake had promised he’d stick around while the baby and I got settled but one crisis after another at work and he was forced to go put the fires out. I’d hardly seen him for days. To make it worse we weren’t even sleeping in the same bed anymore, either. So when he did come home after a long day battling with code at his tech firm, or dealing with countless other things that took priority over his family, he barely had the energy to even look at me let alone hold a conversation or see his kids.
“Hey, darling,” I said beaming as Becky lifted Leah to me, and I snuggled into her. I can’t wait to get out of this bed, I thought. Back to normal. One more day, Alice had warned, and I could start moving about more as my stitches were healing nicely. But I put all that out of my mind and concentrated on my girl. “What have you been doing with Nanny Becky today?”
Leah babbled a few excited words at me, she’d started talking not too long ago. Some of them made sense and some didn’t, but I listened intently like she was the most important thing in the world… which of course she was. My love for her was infinite, and even though she wasn’t my biological child, she was mine.
Loving my Billionaire Stepbrother's Baby Page 2
