“How about when he’s gone, we’ll take the dog for a walk, pick up some more of your stuff, and then we’ll come back here—” Soft, heated lips pressed against my jaw and worked their way to my ear. “—and I’ll fuck you.”
Holy fucking crap. I pulsed just as my ass clenched. “You can’t be saying that to me just before dick—Scott arrives. Fuck, Carter.” I was almost certain my goddamn knees trembled at the thought of finally, finally Carter fucking me. The cheeky bastard knew what his words would do to me. He also knew how much they meant too.
In our time together, he’d still yet to top me. We’d discussed it a few times and I’d all but begged for him to do so, but he’d always held back, not fully revealing his reasons why, other than he wasn’t ready. While I respected that and he spoiled me in so many amazing other ways, just the thought of him topping had precum leaking. I literally had to change my boxers before we had company.
I swallowed hard, looking into his gorgeous fucking eyes, eyes I could happily get lost in. “For real?” I needed to check I hadn’t misheard. It was a strong possibility. I could barely hear myself think over my thundering heart.
Happiness lit his face. “For real.” He gave me a chaste kiss before looking down at my groin and saying, “Get a cold shower, no jacking off, and hurry on down.”
I nodded dumbly, my brain-to-mouth function deciding it needed some time out. Then I hightailed it out of the room, heading for that much-needed cool shower.
Chapter Twenty
CARTER
We were finally back at home. We’d just dumped a suitcase filled with clothes in the spare room, and Tanner was virtually dragging me to the shower.
I went willingly, needing the escapism only Tanner could offer me. It had been a weird day.
Not only had I promised to fuck—I cleared my throat at the word and the image it evoked, and hoped to Christ I’d do it right—Tanner, something I was desperate albeit anxious to do, but also Scott had visited and survived.
It was awkward as hell, which was to be expected, and we didn’t get into the ins and outs of his life or his secrets. But by the end of breakfast, I’d lost count of how many times he’d apologized. Heck, Tanner had even stepped in and told him enough, and that the apologies needed to stop.
Scott had also sent in his resignation, and I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about that. It wasn’t like I expected to be Scott’s best pal or anything, but from what I’d seen of him over breakfast, he actually seemed like a decent guy. Tanner did repeatedly remind me though that he was sure Scott didn’t even know who he was, so the jury was still out.
I jumped, lost in thought when Tanner tugged my T-shirt over my head. I grinned at his enthusiasm. He told me often enough that he wanted me to top, and while I’d felt a little selfish for pulling back and not giving him my all, I knew he’d wait, despite not knowing my reasons.
It was time to fess up.
Both naked after fumbling to undress each other, we stepped into the shower and under the warm spray. Tanner’s mouth settled against my lips, his breathing heavy as he devoured mine. His tongue was slick and warm as it gently probed my mouth. I pushed against him eagerly, stroking my own tongue against his before pulling back for air.
“You okay?” His voice was deep and breathy.
“Yeah.” I nodded as his eyes searched mine.
“You don’t ha—”
I pressed my forefinger to his lips, offering him a reassuring curve of my mouth despite my thrumming heart. “I want to. I’m just nervous.”
Tanner tipped his head, his gaze piercing mine. If I hadn’t been so anxious, I would’ve found the widening of his eyes comical. Awareness seemed to click into place as his features softened. “I’ll help you through it.”
I nodded slowly. “And tell me if it’s good or not.” I winced at the last word.
“Baby.” Water-softened hands palmed my cheeks. “You won’t hurt me or screw this up. Everything about you making love to me is going to be fucking spectacular.” He grinned, and my lips tilted to match his widening smile. “Okay?”
“Okay.”
His mouth was back on mine in an instant. We pushed closer together, our bodies pressing against each other, so close there was no room for air. I gripped one perfect globe of his ass and Tanner gifted me with a needy moan. There was no way I could or would back away from this now.
In the few relationships I’d had, I’d never felt the pull, the need, or the desire to top. With Tanner, I wanted to share every experience with him. It had just taken a crazy amount of courage for me to convince myself I could be good enough and satisfy him.
Every word, whisper, touch we shared had been enough to finally reassure me that he was worth the risk.
“Let’s go to bed,” he said against my lips, between rough kisses. We had barely washed down, but I was too desperate to care.
With a nod, I switched off the water, took his hand, and led him out of the shower. All his work on the house had definitely paid off and was worth it. The double shower he’d put in was one of my favorite features. I made a halfhearted attempt at making a mental note to say thank you again, but was too distracted by Tanner’s hand on my erection.
A needy groan escaped me. “Bed. Now.”
I felt his grin before I saw it. I knew Tanner liked the rougher version he brought out of me when I was turned on. I was more than happy to oblige.
We scrambled to the bed, hands gliding across skin, fingers pinching, tongues licking, and mouths tasting. Once on the mattress, I pushed Tanner to the center of the bed so he lay on his back. My eyes fixed on his, I leaned over to the bedside drawer, tugged it open, and removed one of the many bottles of lube we stashed around the place.
Heat flickered in his eyes as his gaze drifted from my eyes to my hand. He squirmed before me and bent his knees so his feet were flat on the bed.
“Wait.” He stilled. I bent forward and kissed him while reaching out and taking a pillow. I sat back on my heels and indicated I wanted him to lift. He did so with contentment on his face, and I placed the pillow under his hips.
I glanced down and took in the new view the angle offered. While I’d yet to top technically, I’d had my fingers, my mouth, and a toy or two inside him. I knew the pressure from his channel when he orgasmed, knew the perfect clean taste not only of his cum but of his ass.
Christ, I hope I last. A hand on my thigh startled me. My gaze latched on to his immediately. There was no need to control my expression. I needed Tanner to see what he did to me, see how important he was, and for him to know he was my everything.
This, this I could give him.
His wide smile took my breath away. I had no idea how one small gesture could do such a thing, but Tanner had managed it time and time again. He disarmed me, and I’d happily give him my world. It was easy since I’d already given him my heart.
“You keep looking at me like that and I’ll blow before you’re inside me.”
I raised my brow and dropped my voice an octave as I picked up the lube and squirted a generous amount on my palm. I spoke at the same time my lubed hand clamped around him, “I can promise I’ll make you blow without even touching you once I’m inside you.”
His breath hitched, and I held on to the cocky promise I’d made him, determined to make sure I pulled it off. Tanner had done it to me so many times, perfectly so, that there was no way I’d stop until I made it happen. I just hoped I managed it before my dick dropped off. Then I’d be golden.
I grinned at my ridiculousness but didn’t spare another thought to it as I slid my right hand to his taint and gently rubbed.
Tanner was no longer grinning. Instead, he’d clamped his teeth on his bottom lip, and his hard-on bobbed, fresh precum dripping from him. I inserted one finger, and he exhaled loudly with a grunt. Moving in and out of him for a few moments, I let my gaze drift to watch. Fuck me, he was hot. Just watching my finger slide into him was enough to tighten my balls.
I needed mo
re, and from the jerk of his hips, so did he.
With two fingers inside, stretching, scissoring, and working him over, I leaned forward and traced his belly button with kisses, working my way to one of his taut nipples. I sucked deeply, earning a satisfying groan. When I released with a pop, I lapped at the area, teasing his nipple. His hand clamped on to the back of my head.
“Fuck, baby. I need your mouth.”
Searing heat threatened to consume me as my lips met his. So lost in his tongue, his gentle caress of my own, followed by the growing intensity traveling through my veins, it was only his needy groans that kept my fingers moving. With three fingers now deep inside him, I tilted them lightly and almost came when Tanner tore his lips from mine and gasped loudly. He was thrusting erratically against my fingers. I had to get inside him before it was all over.
His large hands gripped my arms and our eyes connected. Desperation had never looked so fucking hot. Need dripped off every syllable when he said, “Carter, I swear to fucking God—”
I leaned back, removing my fingers at the same time. As he closed his eyes, I said, “Baby, I got you.” And I did.
With a quick slather of lube on my aching cock, a stroke of his balls for good measure, which earned me another delicious groan, I pressed against his puckered entrance.
My thighs shook. While nerves still slid through me, it was lust that rode me hard, that and a need to make everything perfect for the man before me. I’d told him countless times how much I loved him, but this was different, more visceral, a more perfect way of showing him exactly how deeply my love for him burned.
I breached him slowly, carefully, holding back my desire to thrust.
“Carter.” I dragged my eyes from our connection to his eyes. “Fuck me. Please.” The desperation was still there, but it was his eyes and the love held in them that had me plunging deeply.
A guttural moan escaped me when I bottomed out. His heat clamped down tightly on my hardness, and the moment was a contender for the most perfect moment we’d shared. As I pulled back, only to drive back in, I grinned widely at him.
“What?” he asked breathlessly, a grin curving his mouth.
“It’s as perfect as our first time.”
Tanner bit down on his bottom lip and closed his eyes briefly as I surged in and out once more. His eyes sprung open when on my next dive into him, I lifted his hips a little higher, aiming for his prostate.
“Fuck, yes. Perfect.” He moaned the words, almost gasped them, as I continued to thrust, wanting to blow his mind.
Releasing my tight grip on his hip, I reached up to his sensitive nipple. I rubbed lightly, pinching gently as I continued to guide in and out of his tight sheath, driving into him hard and deep.
“Oh fuck!” Tanner cried out.
Heat swept through me, his pleasure urging me on. I continued to thrust into him, determined to make good on my promise to make him explode without touching his steel cock once. I glanced at it, the thought of him coming all over us almost too much. Shaking the thought away, I fell forward slightly. Tanner grabbed my hand from his chest. Immediately, we threaded our fingers together and squeezed. “Fucking perfect,” I whimpered.
“You feel so good.” His eyes fixed on mine as he spoke.
So did he. His tight, hot channel clamped around me. My fears, my doubts… all of it flittered away. I pumped faster, needing him to orgasm. In my fantasies, I’d wanted this to last a while longer, but there was no way I could.
I held back my release as much as I could, shifting my angle and gripping his hand even tighter. When he cried out, his dick bobbing and spraying cum over his stomach, I gasped in relief and release. I jerked my hips a few times as I came down, emptying into his warm channel.
Slick with sweat and still connected to him, I took a shaky breath and leaned down to Tanner. I scattered kisses across his chest, his neck, his chin, before my lips finally claimed his.
The rest of the weekend passed with us moving Tanner in while figuring out what to do with his place. He was still tied in for another three months, so we looked into the possibility of subletting.
We’d also spent some time at Davis’s house and told him the good news. Like my parents after I’d called and told them, he wasn’t surprised and was wondering what had taken so long. I’d shaken my head. While it seemed like Tanner had always been mine, we hadn’t even been together six months. I was a believer in when you know, you know.
Tanner had dropped me off at the clinic with a kiss and a promise of a surprise when I got home. Excited nerves flittered through me when I tried and failed to figure out what he was up to. He looked far too pleased with himself.
I knew everything was on target with the renovations. He’d finished the big jobs and was down to decorating, with minor fixes still needing to be done, so that definitely wasn’t it.
“Penny for them.” Lauren interrupted my thoughts.
“Hey.” I turned and gave her a smile. “I haven’t seen you all morning.” To my surprise, her face heated and she looked away from me. This was not the cocksure woman I knew. “What’s wrong?”
She cleared her throat uncomfortably. “So,” she dragged out, “have you checked your email this morning?”
Understanding clicked. I had. I’d received the internal email from Denver announcing Scott’s leave of absence. I’d also received a personal one from Denver regarding a call he’d received from the Board of Veterinary Medical Examiners, asking for us to arrange a time for a sit-down. I had yet to respond. I still had to get my head around the whole Scott situation and work out exactly what I wanted to do.
I still had no idea who’d filed a complaint in the first place. Admittedly, not knowing was bugging the heck out of me, but I’d deliberately put it to the back of my mind so it wouldn’t drive me insane. With Lauren’s question, though, an idea sparked.
“Yes,” I answered with a nod, my brows dipping as my brain kicked into gear. “It was you.” It had to have been. There was no question, no accusation, though.
She stepped further into the room. “Yes. I’m so sorry I never spoke to you before, but fuck, I couldn’t sit on all that bullshit. And I’m not sorry I contacted the board.”
My face softened, my heart expanding. “Thank you.” I reached out and pulled her into a hug. Her tiny frame latched on to me, her fingers gripping my white coat.
“You’re not pissed?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I’m grateful I have you in my corner.” I pulled away and kissed her cheek and then grunted when she punched my arm. “Ouch. What the heck?” I held on to my arm. For a small thing, the woman could pack a punch.
“That’s for not fessing up to me. Why the hell didn’t you tell me yourself what was going on, how bad it was?”
I had the good grace to look sheepish. “I didn’t want to rock the boat, and just thought it would all smooth out, you know? And it’s not like it was that b—”
Lauren cleared her throat and folded her arms across her chest, then gave a noncommittal grunt. “Well, it was stupid. Nobody should have to put up with that BS. Nobody. And obviously I made the right move by going straight to the board and not you.”
I opened my mouth to speak but was promptly cut off.
“Nuh-uh, you still would have done nothing, even with my badassery backing you up.”
“How did you know I was struggling?”
She sighed as if I was an idiot. Apparently I was. “I’m not blind, or stupid. I heard enough and saw enough. Plus you weren’t exactly yourself. Him being pulled up for harassment will make it stop. Well definitely now he’s handed in his resignation.”
“Resignation?” That wasn’t what the email had said. A pang of discomfort brewed in my stomach. While he said he’d be leaving soon, I didn’t expect him to go through with it. “I didn’t want him to do that.”
She shook her head. “Apparently, he tried to resign but Denver has refused to accept it.” While on her face sat a look of disgust, my heartb
eat settled a little as relief swept through me. “Denver’s given him some unpaid leave while this”—she waved her hand in my general direction—“is all happening. After that, no doubt they’ll make a decision of some sort.”
I stared at her wide-eyed.
“Yes, yes, I know I’m fabulous and manage to get all the gossip no other sucker in this place knows. It’s one of my many charms.” She threw me a wink. “While I’m not exactly thrilled about his resignation being rejected, at least he found one decent bone in his body and tried to step down, knowing what he did was unforgi—”
“Lauren, seriously, he made a mistake.” She frowned at me and made to speak. “Okay,” I held my hands out to placate her, “a pretty horrendous mistake, but that he resigned shows there’s something more to him. I think everyone’s redeemable.”
She snorted. “Everyone?”
“Okay, maybe not everyone, but Scott may just be yet.” There was no way I’d be sharing Scott’s secret with her. I hoped one day, for his sake, he’d be comfortable and at peace with who he really was, but I knew no one could force the issue.
“Time will tell I suppose.”
My lips twitched, but I dared not laugh. It was funny how so much—perspective, life, love—could change in such a short time. If it wasn’t for her whistle-blowing, the chat with Scott could have gone differently in the alleyway. He may never have come out. But the latter was certainly not my news to share. I’d been outed myself as a kid, and there was no way on earth I would wish the same on anyone else, even Scott.
“Well, I thank your badassery.” I grinned. “Seriously, I feel as though I can breathe again.”
She squinted at me, hard, assessing, then raised a finger and waved it in my direction. “Something’s different. What’s happened? Changed?”
My mouth split into an even wider smile. “Tanner’s moved in. Scott and I have become… well, we’ve worked things out, and all is right in the world.” Warmth settled in my chest at the realization that life sometimes had a way of figuring things out. A part of me wanted to hit Pause so I could bask in the rightness of my world, but where would the fun be in that?
Let Me Show You Page 17
