“It’s a disorder that affects one in ten women. Unfortunately, the majority of them aren’t even aware that they suffer.” He sounded like a damn infomercial.
I rolled my eyes and tried not to laugh. “It stands for Resting Bitch Face,” I said to Catherine.
“Uh, what does that mean exactly?” she inquired.
“It means that when I’m sitting somewhere, minding my own business and not actively engaged in conversation, evidently I have a look about me that signifies I’m bitchy. Brian was brave enough to point it out to me a few years back.”
Her eyes widened slightly, and she frowned at him disapprovingly. “That isn’t very nice.”
He blushed and glanced towards me. “I didn’t say it to be mean. Sasha was asking for feedback regarding client impressions. And she didn’t believe me at first.”
“So what convinced you?” Catherine asked, looking between the two of us.
“He snapped a picture of me,” I admitted with a sigh.
Brian chuckled.
Catherine shook her head. “Sorry, I don’t buy it. I had a first impression with her. I thought she was poised and professional.”
He glanced towards me and grinned. “Oh, I’m sure she was. But it isn’t when she’s on. It’s when she isn’t actively engaged. Thus the ‘Resting’ part. Show her, Sasha.”
“I’m not showing anyone anything. Matter of fact, I think I’m cured,” I quipped.
He pulled out his phone and started to scroll through. “There is no cure, only the ability to cope with the disorder. I wonder if they have support groups for this type of thing.”
I lightly punched his shoulder and was curious why he’d taken out his phone. He was all about manners and wasn’t normally one to have his device out at the table. “What are you doing?”
“Attempting to locate the picture in order to show Catherine. I thought I’d kept it—Hey—” he protested.
I snagged his phone out of his hand, horrified at the thought he might still have that photo. I’d never admit it to him, but I’d felt humiliated when he’d shown me that image. To see yourself through someone else’s eyes critically wasn’t easy to take. But when you built up a tough exterior, you had to be ready for criticism and teasing. “You’d better not still have that picture,” I warned, looking at his screen.
He laughed, enjoying the fact that I was distressed. “No, I was only teasing. RBF is in remission. I believe you.”
“If I find out that you kept that photo…”
He held up his hands in mock surrender. “I promise I don’t have it.”
His phone buzzed in my hand. Before I could help myself, I glanced down and read the incoming text message from someone named Jamie.
“What time are you coming by tonight? Can’t wait to see you, I’ve missed you, lover.”
I felt the blood drain from my face. The pang of jealousy that hit me was so profound that I could hardly breathe, let alone speak. I handed his device back to him like it was suddenly offensive.
Looking at me strangely, he scanned the screen, reading the words.
I busied myself with taking a large gulp of wine and gave a strained smile towards Catherine, who appeared to be studying us both.
“So, Catherine, who is your favorite of the five guys we narrowed down?” I inquired, needing to change the subject.
Graciously, she took the hint. “Uh, I don’t remember what number he was, but he had dark hair, was tall, nice face.”
I nodded. “Oh, yeah, red shirt. He seemed nice.”
“Ladies, excuse me for a moment. I’m going to head to the restroom and will be right back,” Brian announced, walking towards the back of the restaurant.
I wondered if he had left to respond to Jamie.
“So what was with the text message?” Catherine queried.
I looked at her, surprise registering on my face.
She shrugged. “I heard it buzz and saw you read something. You went white, and then he blushed when he read it.”
I sighed. “It was something private that I had no business seeing on my boss’s phone.” Although I had no right to feel jealous, I couldn’t shake the thought.
She raised a brow. “Sasha, the chemistry between you and Brian is off the charts. And although I can appreciate you lying to be a good friend at the speed dating thing tonight, I’d like it if you trusted me in some aspects of our friendship.”
Smiling at being called out, I wasn’t sure I could put something into words that I didn’t understand myself. “It was a message from a woman obviously expecting him tonight. We’ve always been friends. I mean, we flirt and there’s always been an attraction, but timing and God—I’m rambling.” I rubbed my temples. My thoughts were all over the place. How could one text message have me completely reeling?
“So why haven’t you pursued it with him?”
Settling for the most convenient excuse was less than brave, but I wasn’t ready to verbalize the larger obstacles without delving into my history and subsequent baggage. “There are a number of reasons. The most obvious is that my career means a lot to me. What I’ve had to go through and the pressure, well I don’t need to tell you. I’m the first woman to ever make vice president at Gamble Advertising. There’s a big spotlight on my front and a target on my back. Sleeping with anyone could have professional ramifications. Now that he’s my boss, it would ensure that everyone would question how I got promoted, not to mention devalue my current position. You know what I’m talking about, Catherine. You’ve seen it happen, and so have I.” The thought of being judged like that in my career made me shiver with dread. My job was the only thing I could definitively say I’d ever been good at. And yet at the moment, it left me feeling empty.
“I get it, believe me. But considering how miserable you look right now, are you sure that’s still a good enough reason?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. But even if I did, what if I’m too late? What if this Jamie person is someone significant in his life, and I missed my opportunity?”
Her eyes were sympathetic. “There’s only one way to find out. You have to ask the question.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready for the answer, Catherine. I’m so confused.” It was overwhelming to realize my feelings for Brian might be deeper than I’d ever acknowledged.
We both noticed him walking back to the table and slipped back into our earlier conversation.
My face managed a tight smile. Evidently my night of faking it wasn’t over yet.
CHAPTER TWO
After Brian returned to the table, he and Catherine resumed small talk for the next fifteen minutes and ordered another round of drinks. I was drawn in a time or two, but for the most part I merely listened as Catherine described her last trip to Paris. I wondered why he wasn’t in a hurry to get to his booty call but instead acted like he had no other place to be.
“So, Sasha, you’re flying home tomorrow morning?” Brian asked, turning the conversation to me.
“Uh, yes. Tomorrow morning.” I didn’t mean to be short, but I’d yet to recover from the thought of him with another woman.
Catherine apparently decided to allow us some time alone to figure it out by excusing herself to go to the ladies’ room.
“Everything all right?” Brian inquired, turning fully toward me on his stool and brushing his leg up against mine in the process.
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?” I pretended to be nonchalant with my question. My mind might be spinning with that text message, but my pride wouldn’t let him know it.
He studied me, and our eyes stayed locked longer than was appropriate for two people who weren’t interested in being more than friends. “Because you’ve been awfully quiet since that text came in.”
Oh, boy. I was much more comfortable with not actually acknowledging this elephant in the room than with addressing it head on. I wasn’t naive enough to believe he led a celibate lifestyle, but knowing it and having it confirmed were obviously two separate th
ings. “It’s none of my business,” I offered lamely, swallowing past the lump in my throat.
That statement lay there for the longest time until he spoke again. “Do you want to ask me something?” The tone in his voice was low and intimate.
I turned toward him, my eyes widening when he scooted closer and put his legs on either side of mine. “Aren’t I keeping you from your other plans?”
“No, unless you want me to go?” he tested quietly, keeping his eyes trained on me.
Wasn’t that the million-dollar question. The heat from his legs sent a delicious awareness over my entire body. “I didn’t say that I did.” I blew out a breath, realizing that, per usual, we were getting nowhere. I’d tried countless times over the years to visualize a scenario in which we could explore the more-than-friends concept, but I’d never been able to make the mental leap without getting cold feet.
Catherine approached, and I could see the indecision on her face since Brian and I were closely facing in toward one another. She was silently asking whether she should take a seat or make another excuse.
He looked from me to her, tossed out a smile, and turned back on his stool. But before he did so, he whispered, “This conversation isn’t over, Sasha.”
A shiver of anticipation coursed through me with his words. “Uh, do we want to do another drink?” I posed the question, trying to lighten the mood and met Catherine’s eyes, silently imploring, please stay. I desperately needed the delay to get a handle on my emotions before any further conversation with Brian could take place.
“I’m in,” he smiled, motioning for Catherine to take her seat.
“Okay, maybe one more, but then I must get home to pack,” Catherine replied, sitting back down. “Does anyone feel like an appetizer?”
I nodded, having skipped dinner in favor of speed dating. I needed something to soak up the wine. Brian begged off, and I was suddenly curious. “What brought you up to New York? We talked yesterday, and I didn’t know you were coming.”
“I was up in New Haven with Josh. Mark and I were helping him to finalize some wedding plans,” he explained.
The wedding in question was that of my friend, Haylee Holloway, to the owner of Gamble Advertising, Josh Singer. She’d been his assistant temporarily last year, which is how I’d met her, and they’d fallen in love. Brian, Mark and Josh had been friends for many years. With Josh currently living between New York and New Haven where Haylee was attending law school, it didn’t surprise me to hear that Brian had been up visiting.
“What made you decide to travel down here tonight, then?” Oh yeah, I was well aware of the awkward spot I was putting him on. Even though I was pleased he wasn’t in a hurry to leave to get to this woman’s place, one of the things that confused me was why he’d called me to go out in the first place if she was expecting him.
He smirked before answering, indicating that he was on to my question. Then he turned on the charm. “We hadn’t seen one another in weeks and I thought I’d ask if you were free.” He glanced over towards Catherine. “We used to do dinner or happy hours at least twice a week when we worked together down in Charlotte.”
Was it my imagination, or had his leg moved closer to mine, touching slightly? I needed a change of subject. “Are you throwing a bachelor party for Josh?”
“No. There isn’t a lot of time for one, not to mention the groom-to-be isn’t a bachelor party kind of guy,” he affirmed.
“I’m kind of surprised his younger brother, Colby, isn’t insisting on one. According to the stories, that kind of party seems to be his specialty,” Catherine laughed.
He grinned in response. “You’re not wrong, but thankfully he’s respectful of Haylee. Not to mention, he’d have to get his big brother to Vegas or out on the town and that’s not going to happen.”
The appetizer arrived and Brian went on to recall some stories about Colby’s wild ways. We were all in the midst of laughing when a pretty blonde walked up and tapped him on the shoulder.
He turned, registering shock. “Uh Jamie, what are you—?”
She cut him off. “Oh, you said you were out with friends, and I had thought maybe it was Mark or Josh. And since this place is around the corner from my condo, I thought I’d stop by. Now I see you aren’t with the boys, and I’m sorry if this is awkward.” She glanced over at Catherine and me, smiling.
Brian fumbled completely. “Uh, right. Yeah, no, both Mark and Josh are in Connecticut. Um, so…” He looked from her to us and couldn’t find any words.
Jamie raised a brow at him and then took matters into her own hands by addressing both of us. “I’m Jamie Morgan, a good friend of Brian’s.” Her eyes focused on me first.
Catherine tapped me with her foot under the table when I didn’t respond right away. I must have been in shock.
“Hello, I’m Sasha Brooks,” I somehow got out, actively working on appearing unaffected even though my heart was beating through my chest. She was beautiful and put together with her shoulder-length blonde hair and blue eyes. It was obvious this woman had too much knowledge of Brian’s friends to be some random hook up.
“And I’m Catherine Davenport, nice to meet you as well.”
Brian recovered slightly, but still looked uncomfortable as hell. “Sorry, I forgot my manners for a moment. Uh, take a seat Jamie, if that’s okay with everyone?”
Catherine mercifully spoke for both of us. “Of course it is.”
Since I was sitting next to Brian, I realized it made sense to give up my stool. It’s what a normal work colleague who wasn’t sick with jealousy would do when her coworker’s girlfriend, or whatever she was, showed up uninvited. “Here, sit next to Brian. I’ll move.” It wasn’t completely unselfish as taking the stool across allowed me a better vantage point to study them together.
“You don’t have to,” he started.
I was already up and moving. “No, I insist.” Jamie had no issue with sliding right in. My leg instantly missed the heat of him when I sat on the cold stool across the table. Meeting his eyes briefly, I had to look away when I realized Jamie’s were trained on me.
“I hope I haven’t crashed anything?” she prodded, glancing at Brian who gave her a smile that didn’t quite touch his eyes. He wasn’t normally at a loss for words so I wasn’t surprised that she appeared to notice something was off.
Catherine took the lead with a response. “Not at all. We were catching up, that’s all. Do you live in the city, Jamie?”
She smiled and I noticed her gaze kept flicking back to me. I willed my face not to go into any type of bitchy place whether it was active, resting or whatever else it would do with the sick feeling I was experiencing. The stab of possessiveness was so sharp that it took a few minutes for me to realize I was biting the inside of my lip to keep from displaying any outward emotions. My nails dug into my thighs trying to get myself out of my own head with the twinge of pain, wishing I hadn’t taken off my black elastic band. If I’d thought the text message was rough, this was so much worse.
“I’ve been living in New York City about ten years now,” Jamie replied. “Moved here after college, which is where I met Brian, Josh and Mark. We’ve stayed really great friends through the years thankfully.”
Again her eyes trained on me. It was as though I was in a fish bowl, and she was waiting to see how I’d react to everything she said. Maybe my paranoia was simply misplaced. “You guys have known each other awhile then?”
“We have, haven’t we, Brian?” she murmured, running her hand down his thigh and causing him, if possible, to look even more awkward.
“Yes. Since college,” he acknowledged with a stressed smile, purposefully avoiding eye contact with me.
It was irrational, but hearing that he and Jamie had been friends for that long sliced through me like a betrayal. I’d always thought my friendship with Brian was special. Now to find out that someone had known him longer was difficult to hear. I was about to escape to the restroom to get myself together when Jami
e addressed me directly.
“So, Sasha, I swear I’ve heard your name a lot over the years. You work with Brian, right?” she inquired.
I forced a smile. “Yes, I do. But I’m in the New York office, and he’s down in Charlotte.”
“Yes, well lucky for me, he gets up here whenever he can.” She turned toward him and rubbed his back, making it known that whenever he was here, they got together.
Gulping my wine down like it was my lifeline, I tried not to count the times he’d been up to the city over the last few months. Forget fleeing to the restroom, I needed to get the hell out of here. I was about to motion the waitress for the check when the bomb went off.
“Oh, I know where I’ve heard your name. This is Sasha as in Sasha-B-Fierce, isn’t it?” she questioned, looking towards Brian expectantly.
Taken off guard, I wasn’t sure I’d heard her correctly. “Sorry, what was that?”
“Sasha-B-Fierce. Oh, my gosh, did you not know that was your nickname?” She swiveled towards Brian, swatting him playfully. “You never said it was secret. You and Josh were discussing her with that term, and I figured it was a compliment…” She stopped and looked at me as if awaiting a reaction.
My eyes shot up to his face, watching as he turned red.
Immediately, I knew her game. I was the threat, and she was challenging me to take her on in front of Brian about the nickname. There was a brief second where I entertained the idea of going thermonuclear, but Catherine snapped me out of it with a nudge under the table. Sliding a glance her way, I caught her warning look.
“Given that you work with all men at your level, Sasha, I think the word fierce is definitely a compliment. Women don’t get to the top without displaying that quality,” Catherine defended.
Not to be out done, Jamie attempted to make this about her. “Oh, believe me I know. I’m a partner at my law firm. Talk about a lot of stress and responsibility.”
Catherine, in uncharacteristic fashion, decided to take her down a notch. “Yes, well, as the fashion editor of Cosmopolitan Magazine, believe me, I know, too.”
Ask Me Something (The Something Series Book 2) Page 2
