by Nic Tatano
And then the memory hits me. Nick and I dancing in the rain to Belinda Carlisle.
In the song, the soldier dies and the woman never sees him again.
Is the song coming true for me? Will I never see him again? Will my last memory be of our dance?
The tears begin to flow as the lyrics play in my head.
Four hours later a doctor emerges and pulls off his mask. Everyone gets up and moves toward him.
I study his face, but it holds no clue.
“He’s out of danger,” says the doctor. I breathe a sigh of relief as I steady myself against the wall.
The commissioner moves in front of the doctor. “So he’s going to be okay?”
“We still have a lot of work to do, but he’ll make it. However, one of the bullets did a lot of damage.”
I step next to the commissioner. “What kind of damage?”
“There’s a chance he may never walk again.”
His words knock the air out of me.
“But it’s way too early to tell. We’ll know more in a few days.”
“When can I see him?”
“We’ve got a couple more hours of surgery, then he’ll be in intensive care. He’ll probably regain consciousness sometime tomorrow afternoon. So I suggest you all go home and get some rest.”
“I’ll stay.”
The doctor takes my hands. “He’ll need a lot of support when he wakes up. But right now there’s nothing you can do here. We’ll let you know when you can see him.”
Rory wraps an arm around my shoulders. “C’mon, Freckles. There are others who need you at home, you know.”
Three of the kittens are asleep in a ball as I arrive home.
Of course Bumper is up, sitting facing the door. As if he knows.
I quickly kneel down and pick him up, clutching him close to my chest. “C’mere, Bumper. Your human needs you.”
The kitten gives me the usual soulful look, then rests his head on my shoulder and begins to purr.
And I begin to cry.
The smell of bacon fills the air as I emerge from my bedroom shortly after eight-thirty. Rory spent the night in the guest room and being the morning person she is, already has breakfast going. She gives me a soft smile as I head toward the kitchen. “You sleep okay, Freckles?”
“Yeah. I think all the emotion caught up with me and I was out of gas.”
“You going to work today?”
I shake my head. “Already called my boss and explained the situation. He said I can work from home for a few days doing research. Like I can concentrate on anything other than Nick right now.”
“Actually, it might help to lose yourself in your work, especially the way you can focus on things.” She points at a chair at the kitchen table. “I heard you rustling around so I made breakfast. Sit. You need to eat.”
“What would I do without you, Rory?”
“You’d do this for me, so it’s not up for discussion. I know you always have my back as well.” She slides a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me along with a big glass of orange juice, then sits down next to me.
“Aren’t you gonna eat?”
“Already did.” She leans forward and studies my face. “So, you still good with your decision?”
“About choosing Nick? Absolutely. Why?”
“Like I said last night, you were emotional. And to be quite honest, I’m a little worried you’ve painted yourself into a corner. You’re committed to the guy now.”
“I know, and I’m fine with it.”
“You sure you weren’t thinking that he needed you, and that you couldn’t possibly break up with him while he’s fighting for his life?”
“I didn’t have time to think of all the factors, Rory. Somehow I just knew it was the right thing to do. And if I’m committed to a guy who will never walk again, so be it. You know what they say, for better or worse. Guess I’m starting out with the worse. May as well get it out of the way early. It can only get better.”
“Speaking of worse, you’ve got something else to make your day harder.”
“What?”
“You’ve gotta break up with Jamison.”
“Oh, hell, I completely forgot about him. And I can’t do it over the phone, either. Not after he’s been so good to me. And I just thought of something else.”
“What?”
“I’m committed to do a bunch of public service announcements for several organizations and Jamison is producing them all. So it won’t exactly be goodbye. I’m still gonna have to see him.”
“That’s not a very good idea, Freckles. Maybe he can have someone else on his staff take care of it. Anyway, you can’t go to see Nick till this afternoon anyway, so why don’t you go into the city and get it over with.”
“I dunno—”
“The longer you put it off, the worse it will get.”
I’m walking on eggshells as I enter Jamison’s office. He looks up from his newspaper and smiles. “Hey, what a nice surprise.”
You won’t think that in about two minutes.
“Hi, Jamison.”
He gets up and gives me a hug. “So to what do I owe this visit today?”
“Need to talk to you about something.”
He studies my face. “Uh-oh. I can tell this isn’t good.”
I exhale as I sit in front of his desk. “Jamison, this has been the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.”
“I get the feeling I’m about to get the you’re a nice guy, but speech.”
I look down and don’t say anything for a moment. “Jamison, I’m so sorry.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
I look up at him. “No, not at all. Please let me explain and then if you want to tell me to get the hell out of your office you may do so.”
He sits behind his desk and folds his hands. “That’s not going to happen. But say what you need to say.”
“As I told you, I have also been dating someone else. I met you at the same time I met him, and this is the first time in my life I have, so to speak, played the field. That said, I have discovered that while it is nice to go out with different men, it’s not possible for someone like me to have serious relationships with more than one. I can’t sleep with multiple partners, and I can’t get attached to more than one guy. And that’s what’s happened recently. I find myself getting attached to both of you, and that’s not good. And not fair to either of you.”
“That’s perfectly understandable, Madison. And I’ve been getting attached to you as well.”
“Anyway … Jamison, this is so hard because you have treated me so well … but I reached the point where I simply could not keep going out with both of you. So I made a choice, and I’m not going to be able to see you anymore.”
He slowly nods. “Well, naturally I’m very disappointed. But I can certainly understand your feelings since I’ve never played the field or slept around either. Is there something specific—”
“Just a gut feeling, Jamison. Honestly, had I met only you we’d still be going out. But I can’t burn the candle at both ends. It’s really been tearing me apart the past few days.”
“Well, I can’t be mad at you, Madison. I will ask you for one thing, though.”
“What’s that?”
“If things don’t work out with this other guy, I hope I’ll be the first call you make.”
“Even after what I just did?”
“Madison, I can’t hate you because of this. I think too much of you. If you had cheated on me or sneaked around or lied, I’d be upset, but you haven’t. So if I have to settle for right of first refusal, so be it.”
“Jamison, you’re being incredibly understanding about this.”
“Well, we also have to work together in the future. So I’d like to keep you as a friend. If that’s okay with you. That is, if you still want me to shoot your commercials.”
Rory said this isn’t a good idea, but the guy is being so nice. “Sure, that will be fine.”
<
br /> “Okay then. Well, while I hope you’ll change your mind in the future, I hope you’ll be happy with whomever you choose because you deserve it. But nothing’s final until you walk down the aisle, right?” We both get up and he puts his arm around my shoulders as he walks me to the door. “So, you got the day off?”
“Just off the street today.”
“Ah, still going after your great white whale?”
“Yeah.”
“Any luck?”
“Not yet.”
“Well, don’t feel bad if nothing turns up. You won’t be the first reporter to hit dead ends on that guy. I remember doing a lot of stories like that.”
“Gotta take a shot, Jamison.”
We reach the front door and he kisses me on the cheek. “Glad I don’t have to say goodbye. So, see you later.”
After that unbelievably smooth breakup with Jamison I’m in the hospital waiting room along with Nick’s partner Steve and a few other officers. His condition has improved since last night, though we found out his heart actually stopped for a while during surgery.
Clinically dead.
That little bit of news made my heart skip a beat.
And also confirmed I’ve made the right choice. Not sure I would have felt the same about never seeing Jamison again.
The door opens and everyone stands as the doctor moves into the room. “I have good news. Officer Marino is awake.”
Everyone exhales tension as Steve pats me on the shoulder. “Thank God.”
“I’ll let two of you see him for about ten minutes, but then he really needs his rest.”
Steve takes my hand. “C’mon. I know he’ll want to see you.”
“You wanna go first?”
“No. We’ll go together.”
We follow the doctor down a hallway, then through a door marked Intensive Care. We pass rows of beds, all filled with people hooked up to various tubes and beeping machines. The doctor pulls back a curtain and what I see knocks the air from my lungs.
Nick, pale as a ghost, eyes barely open, a bandage around his head. He sees me and struggles to smile as I move to one side of the bed while Steve goes to the other. I take Nick’s hand and give it a squeeze. “Hey, Marino, how you doing?”
“Is this heaven?” His voice is soft, almost a whisper.
“No, it’s Staten Island.”
“Then why am I looking at a redheaded angel?”
Steve laughs. “Told you he wanted to see you.” He takes Nick’s other hand. “Glad to have you back, partner. You’re obviously getting better.”
“Did you get him, Steve?”
“He’s taking a dirt nap. Saved the justice system a ton of money.”
“That’s good. Are that woman and the little girl okay?”
“Yep. You saved both of them. Are you in any pain?”
“A little. I think the anesthesia is wearing off.”
“I’ll go get the nurse.”
Nick turns back to me. “Guess I can’t take you out to dinner this weekend, huh?”
“Hey, don’t think you can use this as an excuse to get out of a date. I hear the food in this hospital is pretty good. Though we can’t eat by candlelight because you’re on oxygen. We’d blow the place up.”
“How’d you get in here, anyway? They usually only let family members in.”
“Told them I was your girlfriend.”
“But you’re—”
“Not anymore. I’m all yours. That is, if you still want me.”
He reaches up and touches my hair. “You know what they say about Italian guys. Can’t resist red hair and freckles.”
“So I see. And by the way, young man, I understand from your partner that you were talking about me all day.”
“Damn, you’re really getting the advantage in this relationship.”
I see his eyes flickering and can tell he’s fading. I run my hand over his cheek. “Still think we’re even, Marino. But right now you need your rest. I’ll see if the doctor will let me come back later.” I lean over and give him a soft kiss.
“That’s better than any medicine.” His eyes lock with mine, then close as he falls asleep.
I see the doctor on the way out and head in his direction. “Doctor, you got a minute?”
“Sure. That was a quick visit.”
“He fell asleep.”
“He’ll need a lot of rest. And a lot of physical therapy.”
“Have you told him everything?”
He shakes his head. “Not yet. It’s best if there’s a family member or close friend in the room when I do that. Then again, I’m hopefully wrong about the possibility of him not walking again by the time we get a clearer picture.”
“How long will he be here?”
“Hard to tell. Several days, at least.”
“Okay. Thanks for saving him, doctor.”
“Just part of my job.”
“Funny, Nick says the same thing. When can I see him again?”
“Come back tomorrow morning.”
Chapter Nineteen
The girls are here for a quiet dinner tonight, and of course the elephant in the room is my hasty decision at the hospital. I get the feeling they’re concerned that when I take time to step back and look at it objectively, I might regret not taking more time to think.
They’re worried.
I’m not.
Tish brings up the subject of Jamison. “Rory tells me you said goodbye to Jamison today.”
“Uh, not exactly.”
Rory stops eating. “Freckles, you can’t string him along—”
“I’m not. I told him I’d made a choice and that I could not date him any longer. And then he did something I’ve never heard of a guy doing. He said he wanted to be friends.”
A.J.’s face tightens. “Huh? What guy does that? Every time I’ve had to break up with a guy he’s furious.”
Tish starts to laugh. “That’s because he knows his endless supply of free cannolis is gone.”
A.J. wrinkles her nose at Tish. “Smartass. But seriously, what guy does that? And why do you want to be friends with him? He’s nice, but that kind of thing never works.”
“Because I still have to work with him. He’s producing all those public service announcements. Anyway, he took it real well, didn’t get mad or say he never wanted to see me again. He actually told me that if it doesn’t work out I should give him a call.”
Tish slowly nods. “Ah. This is a second chance scenario.”
“Huh?”
“He’s being the mature one, just in case it really doesn’t work out. So that you really will give him a call if that happens. He likes you a lot to do that, Madison. If he didn’t he would have told you he never wanted to see you again like most guys when they get dumped. He still has hope.”
I shake my head and toss my napkin on the table. “Aw, shit.”
“And the candle continues to burn at both ends,” says Rory.
Tish shakes her head. “Nah, look at her. She’s got it bad for Nick. Something tells me she won’t even give the second chance option a thought.”
Some color has returned to his face and he’s wide awake as I head toward Nick’s bed in his new private room. “You look better today, Marino.”
“Yesterday was a blur. I remember you being here but that’s it. I slept all day.”
I sit on the edge of the bed, lean forward and give him a kiss. “Well, you needed it. We nearly lost you, you know.”
He nods. “Yeah, the doctor told me. But at least I got to meet Elvis and found out who killed JFK.”
“You really are feeling better, aren’t you?”
“A little. I’m on some pretty strong meds. But I’m still very low power.”
A staffer comes by with a cart and brings in a breakfast tray. I take it from him and put it on the table next to the bed. “Think you can eat something?”
“I could eat a lot of something. What’s on the menu?”
I peel back the foil and se
e scrambled eggs, toast and orange juice and pivot the table so it is over the bed. “Standard hospital breakfast. Maybe A.J. can sneak some contraband in here for ya in a few days.”
“That would be nice.” He reaches for a fork and tries to get some eggs, but his hand is shaking and he puts it down. “Damn, I’m so weak.”
“I’ll get it.” I take the fork, scoop up some eggs and feed him. “Well, this is familiar.”
“See, those cats were good practice.”
“Don’t get used to it.”
“But you know, I would have guessed the first time you served me breakfast in bed would be after …” He flashes a devilish grin.
“Those meds have given you a dirty mind, Mister.”
He locks eyes with me as I give him another forkful of eggs. “Hey, I wanted to ask you something.”
“Sure.”
“How did I win?”
“Win what?”
“You. How did I beat the other guy? I’d really like to know why you picked me.”
“Isn’t the fact that I chose you enough?”
“No, of course not. Don’t you realize that my fragile male ego needs this? Guys have to savor their victories, especially with a prize like you. So how did I win?”
“Well, the other guy treated me very well, and you two were very close. But it came down to the way you looked at me on the dance floor.”
“Really? Just a look?”
“Just a look. Yours went right into my soul.”
“I could say the same about you.”
“And, also, you’re damned impressive with your shirt off.”
“I’m sure you are as well.”
“Will you stop it?”
“Hey, you started it. So that’s when you decided? On the dance floor?”
Dammit, I can’t tell him I made up my mind in the waiting room while he lay dying. “Yep. That dance in the rain. That’s our song now, you know.”
“Okay. I was worried that my current situation might have something to do with it. I, uh … didn’t want you to choose me because you felt sorry for me.”
Good God, now I’m getting it from him.
I put the fork down, reach out and take his face in my hands. “There’s nothing to feel sorry for. You’re gonna get well and dance with me again, Officer.”
