“Have a good night, Adalynn. You did a great job today. Oh and before I forget, whenever you make travel arrangements for me please email a copy to my wife or she’ll kill me.”
“Of course, William, goodnight.”
I close the door, happy that I have an amazing boss that is so devoted to his wife. He is a firm believer on not pulling all-nighters at the office just so he can get back in time for dinner. It’s refreshing to know that actual people work here and not robots.
Harper follows me into the elevator and we make small talk about our plans for the weekend while we ride down to the lobby. Apparently we’re having a girls’ night. I’m excited and a little nervous; the only girls’ night that I know of are what I see in movies. Hopefully it’s not full of drunken one night stands, because that is so not what I’m about.
“We’ll only be drinking. Promise,” she reassures me when she sees my expression.
“In that case, then I can’t wait.”
Liv’s receptionist gives me a quick wave as I enter the waiting area and directs me into the office. Liv is already in her chair, ready to start today’s session. I sit down in a huff, dropping my purse on the floor while I apologize for being late.
“How was work?”
As much as I didn’t want the job before, I’m glad that I felt my brother pushing me in this direction. The only downside of being a career woman is this sensation that I’m missing something, I can’t shake it. I want to tell Liv this, but I hold my tongue. I have a sinking feeling that I know what I really want to do, but I’m not ready to face that obstacle yet. So instead, I tell her the truth about my day but omit what’s on my mind.
“It was fantastic, I was so busy! If I wasn’t doing a million things at my computer, I was running around the office. Plus my boss is really nice. Oh and I made a friend, she reminds me of Tinkerbell.”
“Your co-worker reminds you of a Disney fairy?”
I nod. “With a southern accent too. Her name is Harper. She’s crazy and you would love her.”
We talk about the changes in my life for twenty minutes. I think we’re just gonna keep it light today, but she drops her famous bomb like always, catching me by surprise.
“With all of these changes, new job, new friends, and getting back into old stuff like photography, have you thought about getting in the pool again?”
I twirl my thumbs back and forth. Ironically, it’s a calming gesture I picked up in swimming.
“No,” I say in a way that hopefully stops her from pushing, but I know she will. She always does.
She sets down her notebook on the coffee table in front of her and I know she’s about to get serious.
“Stop me if I’m wrong. You never thought you would be behind the camera again because it would remind you too much of your father. In a negative way, correct?”
I nod, hating where she’s going with this.
“You finally did when Jax pushed you by buying you a new camera. It brought back good memories, the memories that you refused to remember. Now you’re taking pictures, even looking through your old photos and going through your things from before the accident. The same things you kept telling Logan to throw away. He never did and you always kept those objects close to you.”
Avoiding her scrutiny, I direct my attention to the window. She has a point, but I still don’t want to be hearing this.
“Addie, swimming can bring back happy memories, too. Just think about it.”
I continue to stare out the window. “Swimming is different than taking pictures. Taking pictures didn’t kill my family.” I lock gazes with her as I say the last part.
She doesn’t say anything at first. Then after a minute or two she says, “Neither did swimming. A horrible accident killed your family that night. You had no control over what happened, Adalynn.”
I jump out of my seat and grab my purse, ready to leave.
“This is too much for today. I have to go.”
I make my way to her door but stop when she adds, “Addie I’m not going to apologize for saying that. It’s the truth and you need to stop blaming yourself. I understand why you need to leave, just think about everything we discussed.”
When I get home, I need to take my mind off everything before I lose it. It’s time for a much needed run. Running always helps me when I feel like this. I can just leave it all on the pavement. I opt out of running outside because it’s too dark. Reluctantly, I get changed and go to the gym in my building. The treadmill will have to do. After my warm-up I increase the speed so I can sprint. I need to feel the burn. I need to focus on that instead of swimming, and all its reminders.
It takes six miles before my body loosens up. I’m dripping in sweat, my breathing is heavy, and my legs burn from being out of shape. I need to start running more, I’ve been too distracted. I welcome the heat working its way up my thighs. I focus on the fire building in my calfs, enjoying the reprieve. Another three more miles, I’m done. I’m barley able to cool myself down. I over-did it, but I couldn’t have stopped until I reached this point. When I get in these moods, I’m a machine. I push my body into overdrive, relishing the pain. I dry the sweat off my face and arms before I wipe the machine clean. I leave the gym. Like a beacon, I find myself in the last place I want to be right now.
The pool.
I smell the chlorine and close my eyes. I can picture myself gliding through the water with every stroke. The water has always been a way to escape. Every time I would inhale a whiff of the chlorine, or make the first dive off the block and into the water, it was like coming home. All of that is gone; it’s just a fading memory now.
I take one final deep breath, I turn around and walk away as I remember the old red and white flags.
The week flies by. It’s now Friday and I can’t wait for work to be over so I can enjoy my first girls’ night with Harper. It’s crazy that I have a girlfriend to engage in girl talk. I will admit to being sexist on that part, but there are just some things I can’t discuss with the boys, especially since most of it involves Jax.
I haven’t spoken to Jax since the night of Logan’s party, which isn’t a surprise. Connor has been Connor and has texted me nonstop about taking Harper and me to lunch ever since I sent him a picture. I love teasing him, but we both know he doesn’t have a chance with her. She isn’t the bimbo one night stand type. I may bring her over for Sunday brunch, though.
Bumping her shoulder into mine, she points her head in the direction of my desk. “Someone has a secret admirer.”
I look up from my phone and follow her line of sight to a huge bouquet of peonies. I stop mid-step when I realize they are from Jax without even seeing a card. I know they’re from him because nobody else knows these are my favorite.
Harper reaches the flowers before me since I’m frozen to the spot. “Do you know who they’re from? There’s no card.” She continues to search around my desk as if a card will magically appear.
I nod. Of course Jax wouldn’t write a card; he’s not talking to me, not even in letter form. Bending to smell the flowers, I decide that I’ll wave the white flag. I shoot him over a text.
Me: Thank you, they’re beautiful and make me smile whenever I look at them.
I even add the white flag emoji at the end. I’m surprised when I glance up from my phone to see Harper casually leaning against my desk. She isn’t fooling anyone. I know exactly what she’s after. I was hoping that she would just leave it be, but she won’t be derailed. I should have known better.
“Why do I get the feeling that they’re not from Kohen?”
I shrug. “I have no idea,” I grumble but then admit, “They’re from Jax.”
Harper smiles at me and strides away as if she just won something. I just shake my head at her. I lean over my desk to smell the flowers. I can’t believe he did this. Peonies are my all-time favorite. He remembers silly things like this. I check my phone again, willing it to show me I have a new text message, but I’m disappointed. He’s probably just busy.
I’ve forced myself not to check my phone for one hundred and twenty minutes, not that I’m counting or anything. That’s enough time, right? He didn’t text back, no big deal. I don’t care in the slightest.
As I drink my water, my phone buzzes on my desk. I force myself to swallow my sip and calmly reach for my phone. I square my shoulders, take a deep breath, and slide the unlock on my screen. My whole face lights up when I see it’s from Jax.
Jax: Welcome, Ads. I have a chocolate cupcake with your name on it whenever you’re free.
I bite my lip, contemplating what to say. Of course I want to say something along the lines of, “I’m free whenever you are,” or my personal favorite, “Can I eat it off of you?” but I know there’s no way in hell that I will ever be able to say something like that to him. I also don’t want to seem too eager to hang out. His mood swings are worse than a woman on her period. I decide to ignore his text for now and get back to work.
An hour later I’m shutting down my computer when my phone beeps again. Glancing down at the screen, my face falls.
Kohen: I miss you. Date after work?
Me: Can’t. Have plans with Tinkerbell. Remember?
I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little annoyed that he asked again today. He called me this morning and he sent me a text asking the same question I answered this morning. I just don’t see how he can forget, especially since this is all I’ve talked about this week.
Harper comes over to my desk. She frowns when she notices that I’m worked up.
“What’s going on?” She hands me my flowers as I rise.
As we step into the empty elevator I give her a quick run down about Kohen’s persistence.
When we reach the lobby she says, “Men are stupid. For some reason they think we need to be at their beck and call. But don’t worry your pretty little head over it, Addie, soon we will be drunk and your problems will float away on the dance floor.” She even shakes her hips at the last part.
I laugh when an older man walks into a wall because he was watching her instead of paying attention to where he was going. When we part ways, promising to meet in a few hours, I can’t help but wonder . . . how much trouble are we going to get into tonight?
Stepping into the nightclub, Basement, I gaze around the mass of people and wonder how the heck I’m going to spot Harper in this crowd. I should have listened to her and met her outside or someplace easier than this chaos. I walk around aimlessly for ten minutes until I realize, when in doubt check the bar.
She’s most likely to stake out the bar nearest the door to watch for me. So I head in the direction of that one, which also happens to be the most crowded with men. I shove a few men out my way.
“Holy shit!” I say out loud when I realize they’re clustered around a hot woman in a gold metallic short dress that fits her like another skin.
Fuck, I’m not even into girls and I’m turned on. I would seriously consider switching teams for her. She stands on the bar pouring drinks into men’s mouths. Wow, they actually let people do this at clubs? I thought that was only in movies. I can just see from her chest down because a tree of a man hulks in front of me.
Sighing I step around him and look for any flash of red. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the flash of her red hair that I’ve been searching for and turn towards the bar. My mouth drops open.
“Holy shit!” I say again.
Harper beckons me with her finger. A man helps me onto the bar. I shake my head at her, but I open my mouth as she tilts the bottle to my lips. As the alcohol burns all the way down my throat, I have only one thought. Tinkerbell is the best kind of trouble.
Someone inserts a key in the elevator and says, “He’s expecting you, so stay here and he’ll come get you.”
I press my hands to my face and try to gather enough strength to figure out what’s going on. I think I focus enough to see a black dancing arm. Wait, that doesn’t make sense. A dancing arm, what is that? I need to focus. Where am I? More importantly, where am I going? I’m in a elevator so I must be going home.
Bed.
That sounds amazing. Wait, Tinkerbell! I laugh when I hear myself shout her name out loud instead of saying it in my head. Vaguely, I remember her saying something along the lines of not using her nickname at work, while she was helping me into the lobby. Oh man, did I call her Tinkerbell? A lot? Whatever, she must not have hated it too much if she helped me inside the lobby.
“FUUCCCKK!” I shout when I realize where she left me.
I start pressing the down button, but the stupid elevator keeps going up.
“No! This cannot be happening!” I say a lot louder than I intend just as the elevator doors chime open and a devastatingly handsome god smirks at me.
“Nice to see you to, Ads,” The God says.
I throw up on him.
OH . . . MY . . . GOD . . . please let this be the worse nightmare in the world. From the sour taste in my mouth, I know it’s not. I refuse to open my eyes. If I don’t see it, this didn’t happen. His fingers wrap around my forearms and he steers my drunken self out of the elevator. Hopefully he’s nice enough to avoid the vomit. I really wouldn’t blame him if he made sure I stepped in it.
I force air into my lungs and slowly exhale, trying not to throw up again. So not what I need right now. We stop walking, I hear Jax moving about, but I refuse to open my eyes. This is just a horrible nightmare. This isn’t real. There’s no way I’m unlucky enough to end up at his place when I’m this drunk. The world isn’t that cruel, is it? Yes, yes it is.
“Are you going to throw up again because I would prefer if you did it in my toilet instead of on me next time,” Jax says from behind me.
Refusing to acknowledge his close proximity, I swallow a mouthful of air that’s dripping in his scent. I’m relieved that I’m just dizzy, no longer nauseous.
“Maybe I’m not that drunk, maybe it’s just you that makes me sick,” I say in a teasing voice I don’t think I pull off so well. For the life of me, I can’t seem to care.
Jax leads me to his couch and orders me to sit. Leaning back, I try to focus on exactly how I ended up here. Rubbing my palms over my eyes, I concentrate as hard as I can but I can only pull up a slight memory of Harper asking if I wanted to see the boyfriend or lover.
God, I don’t think I’ve ever been this drunk in my entire life. She should come with a warning label. I have to ask her for the details. My phone. I can ask her now. I open my eyes and I’m happy to see my purse attached to my shoulder. Thank goodness! Somehow my purse jumps from my shoulder to the floor. Hmmm. When did my purse start moving on its own? I reach for it, but gravity is a bitch. I fall flat on my face, nearly hitting my head on the coffee table. This is going to hurt tomorrow. I struggle to sit up, but my body isn’t cooperating. I attempt three more times before giving up. Laying on the floor seems like the better option anyway. This isn’t so bad, I think I’ll sleep here.
I dream of flying through the woods. It’s so vivid that I can smell it. I inhale the smell of fresh air, oak trees, and home.
“If I smell bad I blame your little gift,” someone chuckles into my ear.
My eyes snap open. “So that wasn’t a nightmare then?”
Jax brushes my bangs out of my face. “More my nightmare than yours. I’ve never been thrown up on, and as much as I love everything you do, I’d really rather you not do that again.”
I hate that I know we’re in Jax’s bed. Ugh! The man lives in a huge, over-the-top penthouse, he couldn’t have stuck me in one of the many spare bedrooms? He reads my mind or maybe I spoke out loud? It’s hard to tell at this point.
“Didn’t want you to throw up in your sleep and drown in your own vomit.”
I roll my eyes, but on the inside I’m smiling. I wish I wasn’t this drunk, though. Okay, so maybe I’m not drunk anymore, but my head is fuzzy. Jax reaches behind him and offers the most beautiful thing I’ve seen besides him this morning. A glass of water. I smile appreciatively at him
before I chug the entire glass. Yup, classy should be my middle name. I gaze out his panoramic window, and to my surprise, it’s dark. I turn back to Jax, startled.
“Please tell me I didn’t sleep the entire day away.”
He gives me the don’t-be-stupid look. “No, you’ve only been out for a little over an hour.”
I slap my hand over my face and mutter, “Oh.”
He gently lifts my hand off my face, leans close enough to where our noses almost touch. I hold my breath, remembering I threw up, and watch his mouth as he says, “It’s not like we haven’t slept together before, Ads. It’s not that big of a deal.”
I push him off me and brush off his nearness with a laugh. Trying to play off that my heart didn’t just stop.
“So how drunk are you still?”
I do a quick measure of everything. “Just a little buzz going on.”
I stare at my hands, not knowing if I should get out of his more-than-welcoming bed and go home.
Jax laughs. “Yeah, I think you threw up everything on me and sobered up after that. It’s pretty impressive how much you were able to get on me with one shot.”
I growl at him from under my breath and say in a not-so-nice tone, “Oh shut up, you act like you’ve never thrown up from drinking before.”
Jax, of course, won’t let me live this down. That would be too nice of him.
“Of course I have. I’ve never had the pleasure of throwing up on someone, though. That, my dear, goes all to you.”
I stick out my tongue at him.
“How’s the doctor?” he asks with disdain.
I shake my head. “You really want to talk about Kohen?”
He opens his mouth, a witty comeback on the tip of his tongue I’m sure, but stops when I challenge him with a raise of my eyebrow. His finger traces over my frown lines, and then he shakes his head, as if to get rid of an unpleasant memory.
“How was your first week?” he asks to change the topic.
I give him a tight smile and tell him everything. He seems mesmerized as I talk. I tell him how the flowers are on my nightstand so they’re the first thing I see in the morning. He tells me about a few business deals he’s pursuing. It astounds me how intelligent Jax is. He should be, though, he’s the only person I have ever met who has skipped a grade in elementary school. I listen, just as mesmerized.
Beautifully Shattered (The Beautifully Series Book 1) Page 22
