“Where else would I be, babe?” a voice that doesn’t belong to Jax whispers back.
Immediately my entire body tenses. It wasn’t real. I’m not with Jax. It was just a dream. When I open my eyes, Kohen’s dark blue ones stare back at me. If I wasn’t in Kohen’s arms right now, I would smack myself. I can’t believe that my dream of Jax was so vivid that I carried it with me when I woke up . . . actually I can. Jax isn’t the type of guy easily forgotten, dream or otherwise. I take a couple deep breaths and count to five. I can do this. I can move on. Kohen is changing, he wants to be better for me, for us.
Remembering that I never answered him I say, “I thought you would be up by now.”
“I’ve been up for an hour or so. I just couldn’t get out of bed. I finally have you and I’m never going to let you go.” He squeezes me closer to prove his point. I know that I should find his statement endearing, but I don’t. The way he said “never” isn’t settling well with me.
“Do you want to go on the boat today?” Kohen sits up and yanks me with him so that I’m still using his chest as a pillow.
“I would love to,” I say with more enthusiasm than I’m feeling.
“Great. Then we should start getting ready. There’s a storm coming so we need to be back before it hits.” Kohen climbs out of bed.
“No more sleep?” I complain.
Kohen stops in his tracks on the way to the bathroom. “You’ve slept enough, Adalynn. It’s time to get up now. You might be able to take a nap later when we get back since you’ll be awake all night this time.” He shoots me a warning look before continuing to the bathroom.
Well, I guess someone isn’t in the mood to be playful this morning. Rolling my eyes, I wonder if the tampons in the bathroom are for me or for him. With his moods swings this morning, it’s a tough call. Hesitantly I walk over to the bathroom.
“Do we have any special plans tonight?” I reach for my toothbrush.
Kohen doesn’t answer me at first. He continues to brush his teeth without looking at me. Its obvious that he’s mad, I just have no idea why. He was fine a few minutes ago. If he’s seriously mad about my joke, he needs to get over it. I enjoy my sleep more than anyone I know and that’s not something that’s going to change.
“Everything is special if you’re involved,” Kohen says once he’s done brushing his teeth.
I can’t help the nervousness sinking into my voice when I ask, “Well, is there anything special for tonight since you just said you want me awake?”
If he’s hinting that he wants to take our relationship further, I’m out of here. That is not going slow and it’s not what I want. Even though taking our relationship to the next level might help me wash away my feelings for Jax, I can’t. I’m not ready and it wouldn’t be fair to Kohen since there’s a good chance I’ll be picturing Jax which is so not how I’ve imagined our first time.
Kohen marches over to turn on the shower. He takes deep breaths, trying to calm himself, I think. Again, I have no idea what’s going on. All I asked was a simple question.
“I would just prefer that you don’t pass out on me again.” He strips out of his gym shorts, steps into the shower and closes the door.
Feeling guilty that I’m ruining our morning and the only day we’re going to be here, I contemplate joining him in the shower. I know it’s not my fault for how he’s acting this morning. If I’m enough for him, I should be able to snap him out of it and make him happy.
Chewing my lip, I lift my shirt, but stop before it even grazes my belly button. I don’t want Kohen to see me naked for the first time pissed at me. Deciding to let him calm down, I change into a bikini and a pair of shorts, despite the chill in the air. I’ll make us breakfast and call my brother while waiting for everything to cook. Perfect game plan. I steal Kohen’s phone and head down the stairs.
In the kitchen, I press the home screen on Kohen’s phone. I frown. It’s password-protected. He’s never had one before. I know the easiest thing would be to ask for the password, or to at least wait for him to come down here. I do neither. The easiest way is always the most boring. Hmm . . . My finger hovers over the screen. I can’t think of anything to guess. I doubt it’s his birthday . . . which I don’t even know. I try mine instead. I’m not surprised when it vibrates in my hand, informing me that I didn’t crack the code.
I set his phone on the counter and start making pancakes. There’s a lot that I don’t know about Kohen. That isn’t soothing since I’m trapped here with him until tomorrow when we go back to the city. I need to make a point of getting to know him before we return. This is our make-it-or-break-it vacation.
I’m not tip-toeing around someone I’m in a relationship with, I’ve done enough of that with Jax. If I continue to have this sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach, I have to end it. Kohen isn’t the type of guy to use as a rebound. He’s the plan-your-future-with, marrying type of man. I can’t even say who I see in my future. Before I always saw Jax, but now it’s just me. Alone.
I jump a good three feet in the air when Kohen startles me. “Why is my phone down here?”
“Breakfast is almost ready.” I ignore his question.
His sandy brown hair is still wet from the shower. A few drops drizzle down his wet hair and onto on his white pull-over. I start to feel hot. My reaction to the sight of him takes me by surprise. My mouth waters, imagining what he’ll taste like if I lick up the water. I swallow loudly.
Kohen walks towards me and grabs plates from the cupboard. “Why is my phone down here?” he asks again while he hands me the plates.
And just like that, I’m back to being nervous around him, and not because I’m attracted to him. “Thanks,” I say timidly. I put pancakes on both of our plates, add syrup, and fruit on the side. “Can you grab us orange juice?”
Kohen is already pouring juice in two glasses. I carry our plates to the patio table outside to enjoy the nice weather before the storm comes in. It’s still sunny, but dark clouds roll in and the waves crash violently into each other. I love storms.
“Are you going to answer my question?” Kohen snaps my attention back to him.
I sit beside him in the beige fabric-covered patio chair. “Sorry. I didn’t think it was a big deal. I was going to call my brother to see how his flight was.”
Kohen doesn’t touch his food. I can hear his teeth grinding. He takes a deep breath to calm himself. A move that I’m familiar with.
“Next time can you just ask? I don’t like my things out of place.”
“Yeah, sorry.”
Wow. I had no idea he would make such a big deal out of this. He’s acting like I destroyed his house while he was in the shower, not grabbing his phone from the charger and bringing it to the kitchen. Besides he’s one to talk. I don’t recall asking him to unpack my stuff.
“It’s fine. Next time just ask.”
I don’t see us lasting past this weekend. As much as I want to end things with him, it’s better to wait until we return home. I’m trapped here. No phone, no car. Besides, I’m hoping that we can turn this morning around. He’s having a rough morning, I need to stop reading into something that’s not there. Everything will be fine once I get him out of his funk.
“I didn’t even call him. You have a password now so I couldn’t get into your phone.”
Kohen nods but doesn’t explain. I’m not surprised that he doesn’t want to share why he has a password on his phone. However, I did think he would unlock his phone for me and hand it over so I could call Logan. Whatever, I’ll call him before we leave. We both eat our food in silence. It’s not a comfortable silence either; tension swims in the air.
Once we’re both done eating and have packed lunch for the boat, we’re ready to go.
“Can I use your phone please?” I ask to Kohen’s back.
“For what?” he asks.
Deep breaths. It shouldn’t matter, I want to shout at him, but I find the calm that I’m not feeling and say as nicely as pos
sible, “I want to check on my brother.”
My earlier pep talk is flying off towards the horizon. I have to end things with him. I open my mouth to demand that he take me home, but nothing comes out. I need to break up with him in a crowd, not when I have no escape if he loses control over his rage.
Kohen doesn’t answer me. So I’m forced to wait . . . and wait. Finally, he turns around to face me. “How about you call him when we get back? We need to get going or we won’t be able to enjoy our day because of the storm.”
Forcing myself not to groan, I smile at him and pick up our towels. “Sure. Let’s go.” I don’t wait for him to respond. I stomp out of the house and walk over to the dock, and to the waiting sailboat.
Our day has yet to begin and I’m already wishing that I never got out of bed . . . or came. Kohen is acting strange. He isn’t being mean or anything, but something’s off. I can’t explain it. I don’t know why, but I’m nervous. Not nervous in a scared way, but in a way that I fear that I’m about to lose him. I can’t find it in me to care. I wonder if it’s because everything that happened with Jax is fresh in my mind, or if deep down I know I don’t belong with Kohen. I’ve been trying to push myself towards him while I’m still in love with Jax. Even though Jax and I are through, I need time to myself before jumping into anything.
Two long, dreadfully painful hours later, I jump off the white sailboat and march toward the house. I’m fuming. I don’t think I’ve ever been so upset in my life. And I can’t even get out of here because he stole my charger! I don’t care what he says, I know I packed it. It didn’t just disappear. For some reason, Kohen thought having me all to himself meant that I couldn’t communicate with the outside world. He needs to take a class on how to be a boyfriend, because nobody wants a controlling man in their lives, overstepping at every turn.
“Calm down, Adalynn,” Kohen says, racing behind me.
I ignore him and pick up my pace. Our “romantic” boat ride was anything but pleasant. It started off fine. I left everything that happened on the beach and tried to enjoy the rest of the day with him. Wishful thinking on my part.
Kohen freaked out when a group of guys on another boat were watching me. I can feel a headache coming on just thinking about it. He pulled me into the cabin and practically forced me into one of my dresses that he packed in our bags. Apparently I look like a slut in just a bikini top, shorts, and a cardigan. Yeah, cause the girls on the other boats were dressed ready to go to church. They didn’t care that it’s cold out. Most didn’t bother with a top and their bottoms were swallowed up by their asses, leaving everything on full display. But I’m the slut. Yeah.
I just laugh as I stomp up the stairs to the house. Kohen reaches me before I’m inside. My hands shake at my sides. I want to smack him, that’s how upset I am. That was so embarrassing! He treated me like an errant child. I force my arms to stay at my sides, even though I’m itching to take the control Kohen has stolen from me.
“I’m sorry. I need to think before I say anything. I’m working on it, Adalynn. I’m not perfect!”
Flashes of the bruises, the hateful words Kohen has spoken to me, and Jax’s secrets rush forward. Making the anger I keep bottled up, erupt.
I turn on him, each word laced with the rage crackling inside of me. “I never asked you to be perfect! All I’ve asked is for your respect, but you can’t give me that! I already had a dad, I don’t need another one. YOU. WILL. NOT. TELL. ME. WHAT. TO WEAR.”
Kohen raises his hand and hits me across the face. The force of the blow makes me stumble closer to the steps of the house. The exact steps I should be running up to flee. Instead, I square my shoulders. I will not run scared.
Tenderly I touch the side of my face. I wince as soon as I feel my cheek. It’s burning hot. I force the tears not to fall. I will not cry in front of him, I won’t give him the satisfaction. HOLY SHIT! I’ve never in my life been slapped and I never want to be experience this again, especially from him.
I grit my teeth and match his stare. He smirks at me. Actually fucking smirks. I think I missed that day in high school when they taught boys like him to smack girls around and then smile.
I find my voice. “DON’T YOU EVER FUC—”
Slap! That first smack was a whisper of a caress compared to this one. The asshole didn’t even bother to hit my other cheek. No, that would have been too nice. Kohen gets right in front of my face. It takes every ounce of willpower to stand my guard as he strokes my injured cheek.
“You will not talk to me like that again. You will learn your place by my side.”
I laugh, which I know is the last thing I should do in the situation. I can’t help it. He must be high. Does he honestly think I’m going to stay with him after this? I open my mouth to tell him just that, but then close it. Panic takes over . . . I need to escape. Now. I turn around in an attempt to flee, but Kohen has other plans for me.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he says into my ear as he painfully jerks me to him.
“I’m leaving,” I whisper but it’s loud and clear.
My teeth chatter as I tremble against him. Kohen laughs, enjoying the fear he’s causing. He presses his lips to my ear. I try to squirm away, but he’s gripping me too tightly that I can’t breathe and I’m forced to let him lick my neck. I swallow down my lunch.
“Just let me leave. I won’t say anything.”
Kohen chuckles again and trails one hand down to my chest. Roughly he grabs ahold of my breast and grinds his thick erection into my ass. I close my eyes, willing myself to find that empty void I used to live in. If I can find that place, I can get past this. I can get past Kohen and his disgusting hands.
“I told you that I’m not letting you go, Em. You’re mine.”
Who the fuck is Em? I want to ask but I remain silent. He’s stolen my ability to speak. I’m that terrified.
Releasing the death grip on my breast, he licks my neck again. “And I plan on taking what’s mine tonight.” He shoves me away from him and spanks my ass before striding into the house.
I don’t even think about it. I run.
Before my feet even reach the sand, I’m yanked back. I cry out in pain, frustration, and angery. Of course it wouldn’t have been that easy. Kohen isn’t going to let me go. Okay, I need to be smart. I can’t go for the obvious moves or he’ll stop me.
I’m crying while Kohen drags me back into the house. None of my tears are for the pain I’m feeling. No, they’re all for my stupidity. I should have seen this coming. God, how could I be so stupid? He’s shown me his true colors before, I just chose to ignore everything. I wanted him to be better, I wanted to move on from Jax. I desperately wanted to be loved by someone.
Because of that, I’m stuck in a house that could be in the middle of nowhere. Kohen said we were going to the Hamptons, but we could be anywhere. I slept the entire way here. That false security I was feeling seconds ago has vanished. If he does have neighbors, I doubt I’ll be able to reach them before Kohen finds me. He knows the area, I don’t.
It dawns on me that this was his plan the entire time. That’s why the fridge and pantry are stocked, and not just for the weekend, but a few weeks. I thought him buying all my favorite things was a sweet gesture; it was anything but sweet.
“You never texted Harper or my brother.” I don’t ask him. I know the answer. I’ve known the answer the entire time. I just ignored it. I hoped for the best.
“No, but you knew that. That’s why you’ve been wanting to call Logan, isn’t it?”
I spit in his face. He backhands me again. At least this time he hit my other cheek. Generous. I grin as I watch him wipe my spit off of him. The searing pain in my cheek was worth it.
Seizing my forearm, Kohen ushers me along with him. I try in vain to grab anything within reach as he forces me from the kitchen and into the hallway. I can’t take anything without him seeing. Be smart. I can get through this, I’ve survived worse. I’ll survive whatever Kohen has in store
for me.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“We’re not going anywhere.” Kohen opens a door to the right of the hallway, the door directly across from the living room. It’s the same room I didn’t bother to look at last night. I skipped the “tour” saying that I was tired and wanted to go to bed.
Throwing me into the dark room, Kohen gives me a sad smile. “I didn’t want to do this, but you gave me no choice, Em.”
“My name is Adalynn!” I shout.
He doesn’t say anything as he turns to leave. Oh my God. He’s going to lock me in here. “You don’t have to do this Kohen. You can still walk away.” You psycho.
Kohen ignores me. “If you’d just let me love you, we wouldn’t be here. You forced me to do this, Ads. But you’ll see I’m right. You’ll thank me. We belong together.”
“Don’t call me that.” For some reason I don’t care that he’s going to lock me in here anymore. I never want to hear him use Hadley’s and Jax’s nickname for me. I can handle anything he throws my way, but not that.
“Oh, right. Only your precious Jax can call you that. Don’t worry, you’ll realize he doesn't love you like I do.”
“You’re right,” I say, surprising him. “Jax loves me. You’re incapable of loving anyone . . . especially me.”
His dark expression returns. “We’ll see.” Kohen closes the door and locks it.
There’s no light. Putting my hands out in front of me, I stumble around, trying to find a way out even though I know it’s pointless. I take three steps before I hit a wall. I trace every inch of the wall I can reach, but nothing. I do the same thing to the other two before slamming my hands against the door. There’s no hope. The only escape is through the locked door. Leaning my ear against the door, I strain to listen, but that’s pointless too. I can’t hear anything. The tears finally come.
I’m locked in a room smaller than my closet, in pitch darkness. My only way out is the door. A door that can only be opened from the outside. Ignoring the pain in my hands, I punch the wood over and over again, begging for help at the top of my lungs. In the back of my mind I know that Kohen’s probably soundproofed this room, but I don’t give up. I scream for Logan, for Connor, and lastly for Jax. I scream for them to rescue me.
Beautifully Shattered (The Beautifully Series Book 1) Page 46
