“Hm… I see. And Anunit swears she had no idea?” she asked.
“Yes. I’m inclined to believe her, but to be honest, my judgment has lapsed before. I wouldn’t rely on it. Not right now, anyway.”
“It doesn’t really matter. Whether it was her or the Ghoul Reapers, it doesn’t matter. One or all of them got you to do what they needed you to do,” Death replied. “You’ve completed the trials, then. You can get the body you so desired, and I admit, I’m curious about the whole process. Personally, it irks me that Anunit gets to do this, but I made you a promise, and despite what happened, I intend to keep it.”
I had no words left. She knew how to subtly rub it in, all right. Around me, the temperature climbed, the sun making every part of this city burn white. The air trembled with heat, and I felt fortunate to not be alive and able to feel this scorching summer on my skin.
“You should do it,” Death continued. “You’ve worked so hard. And after what I assumed are colossal disappointments where I’m concerned, you deserve a lifetime’s worth of a break. You have my blessing to pursue this dream, Unending. Consider it my offer of peace, my way of saying I’m sorry.”
It was always like this with her. One moment, she seemed open and sincere, and another she’d turn and twist my nerves into simmering bundles of rage. She was hard to love sometimes. “Hm… you’re sorry.”
“I will not ask for your forgiveness,” she said. “We know each other better than that. But I am genuine in my apology. I hurt you. In a bid to protect myself, I hurt you.”
I scoffed and got up, trying to move on. I’d screwed up too, so I decided not to let this broken relationship of ours consume me any further—not now, anyway. Not while I was here, and she was so far away. Any mistake I had made, I’d made in good faith. Death, on the other hand, had been fully aware of what she was doing. I would address that eventually.
“Shall I capture Anunit and send her back to you like we agreed?”
“Yes. Is Tristan able to do it?”
A smile bloomed on my lips. “If you’d been here to see him fight a Ghoul Reaper, you would say yes without a doubt.”
Tristan was more than capable of getting the job done. Despite the ups and downs, despite the unexpected revelations and the troubling twists and turns, our journey had finally reached its end point. I would get a chance at living beside my husband for a while. I would get the body I had longed for, and then my husband would trap Anunit and have a Reaper haul her ass back to Death.
I was conflicted about her, but even with the truths she’d shoved in my face, I agreed with my maker that Anunit was dangerous. She’d proven that even in her dealings with me. She had me right where she’d wanted me. I’d served as a pawn, even while learning Death’s dirtiest secrets.
Assuming she expected me to do something with everything she’d given me, Anunit was bound to hold up her end of the deal. She’d made my body. “Then go on,” Death said. “Go get your body. I’ll send a Reaper over to take you wherever you wish once you’re mortal. We won’t be able to communicate telepathically once you have a body, so whatever you might wish to say to me, you will have to find another way. Oh, and I will send a second Reaper to collect Anunit once Tristan has her. She cannot walk freely anymore. It’s bad enough I’ve got the World Crusher and six Ghoul Reapers to worry about.”
I didn’t imagine Eneas and his brothers to be an actual problem. They’d only wanted to leave Biriane. The World Crusher, on the other hand… The calmness she’d displayed troubled me. But Death had made herself clear. It wasn’t my problem anymore. For once, I’d have to respect my maker’s directives.
There was a silver lining in this debacle. I would do myself a favor by embracing it.
Unending
“Still mad?” Anunit asked upon my return.
Tristan gave her a cold glare, but she deliberately ignored him. The air felt thick between them, the tension gradually escalating. He was mad at her, and he had every reason to want to rip her head off—but I needed my husband focused on the next stage of this operation. We’d reached the point of no return, and I had decided to leave the World Crusher issue with Death.
If the first Reaper had wanted me gone, she would’ve obliterated me as soon as I set her free. It wasn’t me or Tristan or anyone else that she was after. Just our maker. And I was so tired of the lies and the secrets. Why bother? Why struggle?
“I’m ready for my body,” I told Anunit. “What happened was the will of the universe, so I cannot pluck my own nerves about it. I cannot undo the past, either. I can only look into the future, and after all this nonsense you’ve put us through, I figure I deserve a life.”
Anunit watched me with renewed interest for a short while, before a grin slit her face from ear to ear. “Okay. I appreciate the sentiment. Frankly, I’d be just as upset if I were you.”
So the operation is going into its final stage? Tristan asked me telepathically.
Yes. Death has sanctioned it, I said.
Tristan’s eyes widened as he looked my way. I suppose we’ll talk about it later. He took my hands in his and spoke aloud for Anunit to hear, as well. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“It’s perfectly safe, don’t worry,” Anunit cut in as she stepped back and took out her upgraded scythe. Her lips moved as she drew the silhouette of a person in the white powder dust that covered Biriane’s ground. Once one end of the line met the other, a body emerged out of thin air. My body.
I sucked in a breath, nearly losing my balance as I beheld her. She was identical to me. Anunit had made her in my image. It was a little strange but certainly more welcome than a foreign face for me to look at for some years to come. She had my hair and my pale skin. The red lips. Every inch of her had been modeled after me. “Whoa,” I breathed, unable to move.
“I figured you’d be more comfortable in a replica of yourself,” Anunit replied, clearly satisfied by my reaction. “In case you’re wondering, I used human and fae genes, which I have identified as the strongest combination to withstand your Reaper spirit. Surprising, I know, but I’ve done comprehensive tests before reaching this conclusion.”
Tristan paced around the body several times. His gaze softened, and I knew he was as pleased with what he was seeing as I was; we’d both have to live with this particular body. Anunit had managed to impress me.
“I do not question the details of your craft,” I muttered. It was my turn to circle my future meat suit. The closer I got, the more startling the details that popped out. Everything about her was me. The faintest expression lines, the shape of her knuckles, the lazy curve of her lower lip. Yes, it was me, down to the tiniest physical particle. “She’s a work of art.”
“Let me just add one thing—she won’t sustain your full nature once awakened,” Anunit said. There it was. Something had to spoil it. Otherwise, this would’ve been too good to be true. I knew that. I was expecting downsides to this arrangement. I only hoped they would be things I could live with.
“Explain,” I demanded bluntly.
“I need to put your true self under. Store it inside this,” she said, producing a silvery cube the size of a die. Its perfectly polished edges glimmered lime green. Everything in her statement made me tense.
“Anunit, I’m pretty sure you know what I had to deal with while I was on Visio,” I replied, my voice wavering. “I am not, under any circumstances, willfully shoving myself inside that thing. Do you understand me? Or do you take me for an imbecile?”
Tristan took the die from her hand and turned it over several times. “What the hell is this?”
“It’s not a trap,” she replied. “It’s just to store eons’ worth of memories and your powers. The body will not hold the full extent of your being. If I cram you in there just the way you are, the whole thing will explode, and I have worked too damn hard on her to screw this up. It is perfectly safe and not a prison of any kind!”
“I’m not convinced,” Tristan said.
�
�Neither am I,” I added, crossing my arms.
“You will retain full consciousness of yourself,” Anunit insisted. “You will simply be limited, and you won’t remember much beyond the past twenty years. It’s only because you’ve lived longer than any other living being. The brain in her head,” she said, pointing at my body, “will not be able to hold all of you in your full state. This is the only way this is going to work. It’s your choice. I’m not going to push you.”
I should’ve expected this. Everything Anunit said made sense. The memories of my existence spanned tens of millions of years. My powers were of cosmic origin, given to me by Death—I was still one of the first Reapers. I had strength like no other supernatural in this universe. Anunit’s solution did come with a slight perk, however. I would get to retain my consciousness, though only a limited amount of memories. “Won’t the absence of my previous memories affect my behavior?” I asked as Tristan handed me the small dice.
“Not as much as you think. You will be able to access your memories in your dreams, when you sleep. When your body is resting,” Anunit explained. “You’ll have a subconscious point of access to your true self, and that should be able to keep your behavior and decision-making processes as close to the original as possible. Like I said, it’s the best I could do, and trust me, I’ve done more for you than for any other Reaper I’ve helped.”
Tristan and I stepped to the side for a few moments, while Anunit waited patiently, pretending to look elsewhere. Seeing what she’d prepared for me did send an aching pang through my chest, but this had to be done like we’d planned from the beginning because it was the right thing to do and because it would bring the universe closer to its original balance. My husband and I kept our communications telepathic, but we weighed every pro and con we could come up with. This wasn’t the first time we were having this conversation, but it was this abundance of cautiousness that had kept us safe and together for so long. We listened to one another, and we had trust in ourselves, too.
Death can handle the World Crusher, Tristan said. She’s right. It shouldn’t be your problem. Besides, she’s Death, you know? Big force of the cosmos, completely free and in possession of Thieron. She’s learned some lessons from the Spirit Bender too. I think she’s perfectly capable of finding and dealing with her first-made.
I agree, I replied. It still makes me feel uneasy, but that’s mostly due to my guilt about how the World Crusher got out.
Exactly, he said.
What about Anunit? I asked, going over every single doubt that had nagged me from the moment I’d first met this oddball of a Reaper.
She’s small potatoes compared to what we’ve dealt with. An enhanced scythe and perhaps too much information, but that’s about it, Tristan said. I’ve got your weapon, and I’m confident I can disable her as soon as she’s done with you.
I’ve taught you the spell and everything else you need.
Exactly, he continued. Besides, Anunit got what she wanted by showing you the truth about Death. Tristan took a step forward, closing the distance between us and kissing me softly on the lips. For a second, all our troubles went away, and I was my purest self once again. I wanted more of this. So much more. You’ve wanted this for so long, he said. We didn’t plan for things to turn out this way, for the World Crusher to be set free in order to complete this trial, but Death said she’ll take care of it. Maybe for once we should just go with our gut feeling and follow this dream to the end, don’t you think? I am tired of watching you struggle, and I only want what’s best for you. Always, my love.
I gave him a warm smile, thankful for him as always, then turned to face Anunit. “What happens if I change my mind while I’m in my body?”
“I’ve put the breaking spell in there,” she said, pointing at the dice in my hand. “You can’t have immediate access since you might accidentally recite it in your dreams or something. It’s in there, you’ll just have to dig for it.”
This was it. The moment I had been waiting for.
The more I questioned it, the fewer doubts I had as Anunit answered my every concern with clear eyes and a confident smile. This obviously wasn’t her first rodeo. It was mine, but it was time to press on. There wasn’t anything else I could do for Death. If push came to shove, I’d find the breaking spell and set myself free. But until then, I would have a body and be able to truly live for the very first time.
“Okay, let’s do this,” I said.
Anunit came closer, gingerly closing my hands around the die. “It won’t hurt, but it will probably feel a little funny when you wake up.”
“Thank you,” I told her aloud, and thought my “I’m sorry.” As soon as the spell was done and I was in my new body, Tristan would pounce and take her down. I didn’t feel too bad about it, though. Anunit wanted me to hate Death. The Reaper had done her part in this wretched circus, for sure. But despite her many shortcomings, there was more to my maker. She was the closest thing I’d ever have to a mother, and none of the things she had done had ever been with the sole purpose of hurting me. Her character flaws had caused plenty of chaos, but nothing deliberately hurtful.
Death was something abstract, a manifestation of a power I only thought I understood. We were but servants who’d had no say in our making. The universe was a vast and complicated sandbox. But through this jumbled mess of strangeness, I had found Tristan, and Tristan had found me. We’d fallen in love. Nothing would tear us apart. That much I knew for sure.
This was my chance to give him a family. He deserved it. He was a good and righteous and wonderful man. He deserved to have a living wife and living children, if only just once in what I hoped would be a very long lifetime. As Anunit began chanting the spell, I felt myself slipping away. Biriane disappeared first, and I was thankful to see it go. This place had so much baggage.
I imagined myself in a living body. I wondered how Tristan’s hands would feel on me then. What our lovemaking would be like. Bits of me started to come off like tiny blocks, sucked into the silvery dice in my closed hands. The image of Anunit gradually faded away. Then Tristan followed, dissolving into a wash of brilliant watercolors.
A sweet nothingness came over me. A deep sleep, I realized. I’d never slept before.
The darkness was warm and cozy, with big fluffy arms that held me tight. I was swaddled inside the walls of a silvery dice with lime green edges. I was warping and swirling, having lost all sense of shape and size and the space around.
I was gone. Soon I would be reborn. In the distance somewhere, I heard Tristan’s curse. Anunit’s laughter. I wondered what that was about, but I couldn’t think about it much. None of my thoughts stayed in one place for too long. I had been rendered… liquid.
Yes, I was gone. But I would return.
Astra
Myst had brought us back to the Black Heights. By some miracle, it had worked. She’d never teleported living beings before. She hadn’t thought it would be possible, otherwise we would’ve done this sooner, but that didn’t matter now. It had worked. That was all that mattered, because we were back to a relative safety.
The first thing I did was hug my mother tightly as soon as she came out of the cave. She was quick to heal my thigh injury first. Richard and Soph joined her, looking understandably worried upon seeing our reduced numbers and general poor condition. Hrista had done a horrible number on us, and I worried it was only the beginning. She had worse things planned for me. She loathed me.
“Dafne? Jericho?” Richard asked, while Myst sat down and held Thayen’s head in her lap. Blood had dried around his nose, and his skin was pale. There wasn’t much energy left in me, but I was more than happy to use it on speeding up his recovery. Thayen got up, visibly better and blushing. Rendered awkward by how he’d awakened, he whispered a “thank you” to the Valkyrie and straightened his back, while Richard awaited my response.
“They know to fly back here,” I said. My whole body ached. Regine and Myst had worked so hard to protect me from Hrista�
��s hateful, deadly blows. I was lucky to be alive. How close I’d gotten to my demise…
Richard kneeled beside Myst and lightly slapped Thayen’s cheeks until his eyes peeled open. “Come on, buddy. Come on, wake up. Yeah, that’s it, come on. Attaboy… Welcome back, buddy!” the wolf-incubus said, chuckling softly as he hugged Thayen under Myst’s emotional smile.
“What… what just… Where are we?” Thayen asked.
Myst told him what had happened, and she detailed our encounter with Hrista for Richard, Soph, and Mom’s benefit, as well. I could tell it pained her to talk about Hrista, but the truth was undeniable. One of her own had broken rank and done absolutely horrific things.
I kept looking around, waiting for Regine and Brandon to show up. I couldn’t even remember how I’d seen them last. Myst’s teleporting had done something to my brain. The wiring felt a bit wrong. There were missing fragments of my memories—nothing too serious, though. It reminded me of the one time I’d taken a softball to the head back in junior high. I’d been a confused zombie for a few days, and this felt oddly similar.
“What about Brandon and Regine?” I asked, my voice low and shaky.
“They should be here,” Myst said, while Soph gave Thayen a few healing-potion capsules. That was a good decision. I might need whatever energy I had left, considering how many layers of crazy this place had. Mom had healed my body, but she couldn’t restore my energy, too. “Damn it, they were supposed to come with us…”
Suddenly, a growl pierced the sky above, and Jericho appeared out of thin air in his full dragon form, spitting fire all around him. Not far to his left, Dafne showed up in a similar fashion, equally flailing and confused. We had to duck, and I threw out a couple of protective barriers to stop the flames and ice from hitting us.
A Shade of Vampire 90: A Ruler of Clones Page 21
