It felt dirty.
It felt like blood money.
Sighing, I pushed my mostly cleared plate away and glared at my brother. “I’m not a life of leisure kind of guy, but I will figure something out. I always do.” I moved away from the table, shaking my head when Brynn immediately rose and told me she would get me dessert to take down to the bunkhouse. Having so many people hovering over me was kind of nice, but I was used to doing my own thing and calling my own shots without answering to anyone. All this consideration could become suffocating if I wasn’t careful.
I shuffled to the front door, grabbing the cane I’d left resting on the porch. There was no use hiding it from Webb anymore. He was watching me too closely, and I couldn’t get across the property without it, especially in the fading light.
I made my way slowly to the bunkhouse, enjoying the changing colors of the sky. The Wyoming sky was like a massive watercolor painting. The vivid colors blended so beautifully. It seemed so huge without lights or city pollution hampering the view. I could see why so many people came here to escape and to heal. There was something about the vastness and silence of it all that was soothing to the soul.
I hauled my tired body into the shower, spent more time having illicit fantasies about a certain someone, and passed out satisfied but empty on the inside. Webb wanted me to have a plan, but I honestly didn’t know what my next move should be. I was used to being on the go and living out of a suitcase. Pretending to be someone new with every job assignment. Waking up to the same ceiling, and having the same people concerned about my well-being day in and day out was an entirely new concept. Being myself everyday was an experience that I hadn’t had to think about in so long. I’d always wanted to put down roots and have a family, but now I wondered if the normalcy of it all was too constrictive for a guy who really had no clue how a family worked.
I’d been practically feral my entire life. I wasn’t sure if I was the type to be domesticated, even though I convinced myself that was my dream.
I passed out with the troubled thoughts still swirling and spent the night tossing and turning. Needless to say, I wasn’t thrilled when someone pounded on my door what felt like mere hours later. I squinted against the sun and crawled out of bed. Figuring it was probably Cam dropping off an early breakfast again, as had become his custom, I pulled on a pair of sweats to cover my nakedness and made my way to the door.
I pulled it open, absently scratching a hand across my chest. “I told you, you don’t have to come all the way down here before school. I’m a grownup. I can find food on my own.” I muttered the words as I shuffled across the floor.
“You most definitely are all grown up. Have to say, I’m pretty fond of that fact, Special Agent.”
I felt my eyes pop wide and my hand latched onto the edge of the door so I didn’t fall backward. The shock of his voice made me unable to get my bearings.
The last person I expected to see on my doorstep was Rodie Collins. And I sure as hell never would have expected him to be so blatantly checking me out. There was no missing the way his gaze lingered on the front of the sweats, where the thin, worn fabric was leaving very little to even my imagination.
I felt myself blush as I fought the urge to cover my naked chest with my arms like some Victorian virgin. I didn’t like the way Rodie seemed to see right through me. But I did like the way his gaze almost felt like a physical touch. It’d been a long time since my skin had felt that heated tingle of arousal, especially from just a glance.
“What are you doing here, Sheriff?”
I grunted as Rodie rudely pushed his way around me and walked into the small space. He was careful when he put his hands on me. He made me move, but he also made sure I didn’t go flying or fall over at the sudden shift in weight.
“I was hoping for coffee, but it looks like I woke you up.” His eyes flicked over me once again, and he waved a hand in my direction. “Wash up and get dressed. I’ll put a pot on while I wait.”
I huffed and slammed the door shut. “What do you want, Rodie?” He always knew how to push my buttons. I needed to get better at hiding my reactions to him.
“Ten called last night and told me you need to get back on a physical therapy regimen. There’s only one person in town who can deal with your kind of injuries and has the experience you need. She’s a friend of a friend; I’m taking you to see her. This is the only time she’s available, so get a move on, pretty boy.”
I froze, mouth dropping open in shock. “Excuse me?”
Rodie didn’t bother to turn from where he was messing with the coffee maker. “Hurry up, Wyatt. She’s the best you’re gonna get out in these parts. Don’t be stupid and let your pride convince you there are better options.”
I shook my head dumbfounded. “No, why are you involved? Why is Ten talking about me with you?” I was confused and right on the edge of being pissed off. I loved my brother’s girlfriend a lot. I admired and respected her, but she sent Rodie to get me from the airport, and now this. It felt like she was greatly overstepping her boundaries.
Rodie turned around and lifted his eyebrows when he saw I had yet to move. “She told me because I asked. I’m curious about you… I worry about you.”
A shiver raced up my spine and I felt my hands curl into tight fists at my sides. “Why?”
A smile that literally stole the breath from my lungs and made my already shaky knees turn liquid crossed the other man’s distractingly handsome face.
“Figure it out for yourself, Special Agent.” He picked up a coffee mug and gave me a smirk. “Go get dressed, or I’ll haul you into town the way you are.”
I blinked and suddenly bolted — well, awkwardly limped — toward the bathroom. I closed the door and flipped the lock with trembling fingers.
What in the hell was that?
There was no way he meant what I thought he meant… was there?
Rodie
“How do you know this physical therapist? You said she’s a friend of a friend, but I have a hard time picturing you having many friends.” Wyatt’s tone was dry and snide, but he was fidgeting nervously in the passenger’s seat of my SUV. I wasn’t sure if the nervous energy was coming from the trip into town to see the PT, or because he caught me checking him out when he answered the door half-naked.
I didn’t bother to hide my overt interest in him, and I expected questions. Instead, Wyatt went almost shy, hurrying to cover up a body that, while was still clearly defined and in great shape, had obviously seen better days. Seeing the wounds and the patchwork of red, raised lines from the incisions of multiple surgeries gave me flashbacks to my own long, painful road to recovery. I hated that for Wyatt, and hated the way he seemed embarrassed to be sporting so many battle wounds. I wasn’t wrong when I told him that being here at all was a beautiful thing, especially now that I could see how close he’d come to leaving this Earth.
“I’ve been tight with Ten and Sutton since high school.” When you befriended one Warner, the others followed naturally. “They were the only kids who didn’t make fun of me for being the poor kid with a young mom. They didn’t care about the fact I didn’t really fit in, and they were the only kids who really understood why I wanted out of Sheridan.” I looked at Wyatt out of the corner of my eye, noticing that he was processing each word I said. The guy was a great investigator, and I was sure he could read between the lines of what I was saying. He wasn’t the only one with a screwed-up family and a whole lot of very heavy baggage.
“I have a few buddies from the Marine Corps I keep in touch with, but you’re right, I’m not necessarily close to anyone. This job makes it hard to maintain impartial friendships.” And when personal and professional lines crossed, it never ended well. Arresting Sutton Warner for murder was a prime example of that. “However, I had a commanding officer when I was a new recruit in the military who sort of took me under his wing when I was struggling in boot camp. He was a good man, kept me out of trouble and turned me into a highly skilled sold
ier. He was and still is the man I look up to most in my life. When he retired, he moved to Sheridan and bought a little piece of property and some cattle. I guess he always wanted to be a cowboy, and after so many years running black ops missions and watching people die, he was ready for space, peace, and quiet. Being around good men doing bad things for the safety of their country takes its toll. Miranda, the physical therapist you’re going to see, is his widow. She moved up here with him and set up shop. She’s also a former Marine and one of the best at rehabbing the kind of traumatic injuries you have. She’d make a fortune if she moved to a bigger city, but she stays here because it reminds her of the man she loved. They were both happy here.”
Wyatt shifted in the seat, and I could practically hear the gears turning in his complicated mind. “If you were so ready to leave, why did you come back? I know Cyrus had to come home when his dad got sick, and Ten came home when things went south with her job and her relationship, but what about you? You don’t strike me as the type to run home when the going gets tough.”
Interestingly enough, his acknowledgement was a compliment, even if it didn’t sound like one. I turned my head slightly so I could grin at the blond man sulking next to me. I winged up an eyebrow and told him, “I ended up back here for the same reason you did. I got hurt and needed someone to take care of me. I didn’t have anyone other than my former CO willing to step up and help out. He was the closest thing I had to family, and the only person who understood how lost and alone I felt when I was told I would no longer be a soldier. I’d lost everything important to me back then, and Sheridan was the place that gave me my purpose back, made my life worth living again.”
Wyatt’s head whipped around and his bright blue eyes widened. His mouth moved, but no words came out as our similar stories settled heavily in the space separating us. After a moment, he shook his head as if to clear it and those columbine eyes narrowed slightly. “What happened to you? How bad was it that they discharged you without a fight?”
The military invested a lot of time and money training their elite soldiers. He would know that, being one himself. He wasn’t wrong that, under different circumstances, they wouldn’t have let me go so easily, but considering I was barely breathing and only had a fifteen-percent chance of a full recovery, the powers that be couldn’t show my ass to the door fast enough.
“I was blown up.” The words used to hurt when I said them. They used to bring on weeks of nightmares and would cause me to break out in a cold, full-body sweat. I still didn’t talk about the incident lightly, but my mind had healed along with my body over the years. Just like Wyatt’s would. He just needed time, and someone to help him deal with the feelings of not having a purpose or a reason to get up each day. Part of me thought that I could be his salvation, if he’d let me.
I heard him draw in a sharp breath, and he suddenly seemed more alert in the seat next to me. “Blown up? Did you roll over an IED?”
It was always nice to have this kind of conversation with a fellow military man. There was an inherent understanding there. It was easier when I was explaining the circumstances to someone who could actually picture the dangerous circumstances most people couldn’t even dream of.
I shook my head and tapped my fingers on the steering wheel, doing my best to stay focused on the road and not let myself get sucked into old memories and nightmares that once haunted me on the regular.
“No. My unit was on a rescue mission in Kandahar. Went in to pull out a couple of British reporters who were taken captive. Intel was bad. The building was wired to blow as soon as we breached the perimeter. I was the team leader, so you know, first guy in. Had nearly the entire structure come down on top of me. I don’t remember much after the first explosion. I woke up in Germany almost three weeks later. My pelvis was shattered. Both my arms were broken. I had all kinds of memory issues and none of the doctors thought I was ever going to walk again.” I blew out a breath and tightened my hands on the steering wheel. “I was actually lucky. The journalists were dead before we were even on the scene, and the unit sent in to pull us out of the wreckage was ambushed. None of them made it. So, yeah, I was the lucky bastard in that scenario.”
The guilt I felt whenever relaying that part of the story was thick and heavy. I always felt like I was going to choke on the memory and the words felt like they were lodged in my throat.
Wyatt sighed and tossed his head back against the seat. He closed his eyes and I noticed that his hands curled into fists where they were resting on top of his thighs. “No one is lucky when it comes to war. Even the guys who come home without obvious injury still carry what they’ve seen. I enlisted because it was the only way I could think of to save my brother and keep us both off the street. I was sure whatever the army asked me to do would be easier than what living on the streets forced me to do. I was wrong.” He tilted his head in my direction and opened one eye. “You seem okay now. Your CO and his old lady took good care of you, it looks like.”
I shrugged a little and turned my eyes back to the road. “They didn’t let up on me until I could walk on my own. It was grueling, but I was honestly more worried about what I was going to do with my future. All I knew was being a Marine. There weren’t many options out there for me. It was my CO’s idea that I should run for sheriff. My history with this town isn’t exactly all roses and rainbows, so I thought he was out of his mind to suggest it.”
I was also reluctant because I was tired of being two different men. One wore a uniform and lived his life by the standards of others, and one felt confined and bitter that he was never able to be free to love who he wanted to love. Both of those men ended up isolated and lonely, but eventually, my fear for my future put me in a place where running for sheriff seemed like my only option. Plus, I had my CO and Miranda in my corner, so I didn’t feel as alone. I’d had them both until my former CO succumbed to demons I didn’t even know he was fighting and took his own life. Wyatt was right; sometimes the invisible wounds from war ran deeper and were far more damaging than the ones on the surface.
“The town must have a short memory. You’ve been re-elected every time you’ve run for the position.” There was a hint of begrudging respect in Wyatt’s tone.
I dropped a shoulder in a loose shrug. “The first time I ran, the old sheriff was getting ready to retire and the other guy running got a DUI right before the election and was forced to drop out. It was a close call. I feel like I’ve done my best for the people and proven myself over the years, so they’ve continued to pick me, even when there was a worthy opponent.”
“The mayor mentioned there’s an election around the corner. Are you running unopposed this term, as well?” It was small talk, but I couldn’t help the little burst of satisfaction that he was finally showing some interest in me and my life.
“So far. But the mayor was pretty upset with the way I handled things at the high school. He’s called the office every single day to let me know he’s on the lookout for a viable candidate to replace me.” I’d blown him off, but I knew the threat was real. The man didn’t like being ignored and publicly embarrassed, and he very well could make the next election a fight if he felt like I wasn’t willing to pander to his every whim.
“That guy is an idiot, and he’s raising a hateful bully. That kid is going to get out in the real world and be shocked that his way of thinking is frowned upon and laughed at.”
“True, or he’s going to stay close to home and turn into an even bigger bully with his dad’s title to back him up. It’s a lot harder to leave here than it seems.” And it was much harder to stay away than I ever believed.
Wyatt made a noise low in his throat and closed his eyes again. “Cam’s a tough kid. He deserves to have a normal childhood. That mayor and his kid are in for a hard road ahead if they think they’re going to go up against the Warners and win. I’ve never met a family as tight and determined. They’ll be a wall surrounding Cam and no one is getting through. That family will go to the mat for someone
they love every damn time.”
I nodded even though he couldn’t see what I was doing. “I know that.” I was actually envious. I wondered how different my life would’ve been if I’d had anyone like the Warners in my corner when I was a scared teenager who struggled with the fact that I wasn’t like the other boys my age. I’d never had anyone blindly accept me in my life, and I was glad Cam had landed in a place surrounded by champions and heroes.
Almost as if he’d read my mind, Wyatt muttered, “I wish I’d had someone on my side like that when I was his age. When I was little, we lived in the deep south, and being gay was not something we talked about or even acknowledged, even well before I knew I was gay. When I got older and refused to pretend to be someone I wasn’t, it made an already tough situation with my mother virtually impossible. She told me the reason she was leaving me and Webb was because I was a disgrace who went against God. The woman abused us. Starved us. Abandoned us. Manipulated us. And yet, I was the one who was broken and wrong.” His eyes popped open and his mouth pulled into a fierce frown. He so rarely smiled, I wondered if he even remembered how. “I used to stay up all night long wondering and worrying about what Webb would say when he got old enough to realize I was gay. I made myself sick too many times to count thinking he would leave me, too. He never cared one way or the other, but my sexuality definitely didn’t make his life any easier when we were growing up. I would have given anything to have just one Warner in my corner back in those days.”
I started a little, head whipping around as I pulled to a stop at one of the few lights leading into Sheridan. It was the first time Wyatt had outright said he was gay to me. I knew it wasn’t something he went out of his way to hide, but it also wasn’t a topic of conversation he tossed around freely. How different we were in that regard. I respected and was even a bit envious of his freedom.
Detour (The Getaway Series Book 5) Page 6
