by Ryli Jordan
“Oh. Well…I guess…uh…I’d have to think about it…”
“We have plenty of time. I don’t have to be anywhere. And I know you’re not needed urgently since you’re the boss.”
“Well…I guess my first memory is of my mother.”
“Aww, how cute, Ray,” she said.
“Her name was Sheila. One of the first memories I have of her is just…her. Staring at me.”
“Oh?”
“And just…” Ray shrugged. “Shaking her head. Like she was talking to god or talking to a demon inside of her soul sharing some unspoken thought.
“Are you shitting me?”
“No,” I replied quickly. “One day I asked her what was wrong. I was just a kid so I figured I had done something wrong. She told me she didn’t know. I don’t think she ever acted ‘normal’ after that one moment. The next thing I remember was my mother and my father screaming at each other. That seemed to last for days. The same argument. I thought it was strange what they were talking about. It didn’t make a lot of sense to me. Something about my dad screaming that my mom liked to suck the cocks of strangers.”
“Jesus, Ray.”
“And I thought it was so weird that mom did that as a hobby,” I said weakly, and for the first time I could remember since ever, I felt my voice start to crack. “What a strange thing. I figured all moms like to do that, or so the child me thought. My father lost his temper. But he wasn’t the one who cheated. He never laid a finger on her.”
Julia looks hurt and scandalized but a geyser had been open and so the truth flowed at that moment.
“He tried to make her happy, fuck, I tried to make her happy. I even asked her one time if it was something I did. If I was making them both this way. What I could do to change…”
I caught Julia looking at me like a deer caught in headlights like she regretted opening up this wound. But neither of us could turn back now.
Suddenly I laughed. “Then she said to me, ‘It was something you did. You were born. But nobody can change that. Don’t blame yourself, honey. Be proud of who you are.’”
I finally released a tear, thinking back to a memory that meant nothing in particular to me. Except that, in that moment, I realized that nothing was my fault. Nothing was her fault. Nothing was dad’s fault. Nothing really mattered except the here and now.
“And so I became proud of who I was,” I said in apology. “Because that’s all she taught me. Uh…so anyway, she eventually left my father behind. My father…goddamn drunkard, all he knew was business. He didn’t know anything about how to raise a decent kid, a moral person. All he had in life was the business. Why didn’t I inherit his workaholic personality? I can only wonder. And you know all he said to me when I asked him for advice?”
“What?”
“He said, ‘Don’t ever hate your mother, boy. She’s a hero! She’s a woman finding herself. A feminist! She’s a woman who’s got the world by the balls.’”
Julia stared in discomfort, even as I mimicked my father’s voice, taking on his own cynicism and the bizarre way he over-emphasized his words. “I don’t think I ever understood it…until now…that he was being totally sarcastic when he said it. I always thought he just really loved her.”
I laughed for a few awkward moments as Julia stared at me in pain…but for once, her face was absent of all judgment and quiet resentment.
Much to my surprise, she didn’t immediately get rid of me. She actually requested I stay the night. But to my disappointment she declared quite clearly:
“I’m not going to have sex with you. Because I promised no sex, and I am a woman of my word.”
I laughed it off. She made a promise not to succumb to sexual temptation while we were together but still “broken up”. And I accepted it. In fact, I found her counterproposal far more erotic and fascinating. She simply had me stay the night in her apartment, her own bed. With the exclusive agreement to not touch each other, aside from occasional elbow and arm snuggling.
At first, I thought it was a game…but as the night went on I realized that this was real. A real issue of trust. She wanted to trust me, just as I trusted her…enough to bear my soul to her, something I had never done before. Something that not a single person ever asked me to do.
Then, as the night continued on, the coldness of the winds outside striking me and sending me into shivers, I felt comforted by the notion of just sleeping together peacefully in the same room as a friend. Someone I trusted. Someone with no agenda except that she was here…and I didn’t want her to leave.
Sometime during the night I did the unthinkable—the most profane thing imaginable. I reached out with my hands and hugged Julia. I knew she had awakened because I could feel her breathing change…she was probably just one breath away from turning around and kneeing me in the crotch.
But then she realized that I merely wanted to hold her. I only wanted to be in her presence. Intimacy was what I craved. It was a brand new feeling that felt both inexplicable and terrifying. And I never wanted it to go away.
Chapter 10
The next morning I asked Julia on a date. To China! It felt like a romantic, if slightly madcap, thing to do. I think at that moment we both felt an attraction even if we did feel a bit on guard. After all, we just revealed two very intimate portraits of ourselves as people—unclothed in spirit, as it were. I asked her to go to Beijing, China, not as a play for attention or a means of showing off…
Well, it was to show off a little bit. But not in the way she was thinking! Rather than impress her with money, which I knew by now, only made her feel suspicious, I decided to show her that I can be someone of real value. Not just an inheritor, not a spoiled brat—but a man that works hard for all that he had. Someone like my father, but this time, not making the same mistakes. Someone who took life seriously, letting nothing fall to the ground unnoticed or underappreciated.
We stayed at the Lusongyuan Hotel, just as before, with the promise of no sex. A promise I myself volunteered as I craved mostly the nightly snug, the indecency of visualizing me cuddling with anyone! It was surreal but somehow satiating. I felt complete. We stayed in a historic hutong, a place that allowed us to walk to most of the locations in the area, but also a secluded and dare I say romantic occasion. They served a Chinese breakfast and put in a room that was both elegant and emotive, with amazing paintings of dragons and other folklore.
But the main reason I wanted to bring her here, and indeed bring myself, was to lead the company tour and introduce them to the investors. The board had decided to host a tour explaining features of our next two phones. While we all understood the specifications of the first one we were set to release, I knew I had to wow them with plans for the follow-up.
Regis was also there and seemed quite beside himself when he saw that I was the first one to check in. In fact, all the primary board members were there, and Regis had halfway expected me not to show up, given that I hated presentations and I avoided real work like the plague.
But this time I wanted to put forth the effort. Because I wanted to let a certain journalist know that my next Big Idea, the idea that was going to revolutionize the company and move us into the next decade was going to be entirely me. It was my Steve Jobs moment and the idea that was going to get the board behind me once and for all. They would realize, that our bloodline, the Valenti personal touch, was going to be the saving grace of the company.
Regis, always my usual detractor, voiced his usual objections and made a scene. Thank God for my supporters, Janice and Henry, allowing me my moment in the sun—the make or break moment of my career. And what made it really special was that Julia was there, surreptitiously listening via a live audio feed through by my Smartphone.
I reviewed the specifications of the first 5.0 model to a generally warm reaction. But the moment of truth came with my new direction. I sucked in my nervousness and spoke up loud and clear…like my father would have. I grabbed the word by the throat and let them know the fu
ture as I defined it, as my family would have it.
“We know about the breakthrough of the Retina Display feature since it provides a resolution that is sharper than what our eyes can perceive. However, we desire more. All research shows that the next breakthrough in Smartphones is three-dimensional features built for the Smartphone screen. Before you claim this is hypothetical technology or science-fiction talk, I’ll direct you to the 3D Smartphones LG, Samsung and Motorola have already released. They’ve already done it…but they haven’t made it relevant. Here’s the evolutionary step forward.”
I smiled as I unveiled my hidden poster, a detailed image of the world’s first marketed “3D Holographic Phone.”
“It works through holographic projections using 3D technology combined with projections. I want to work with MasterImage 3D who already debuted primitive models, on bringing this technology to the mainstream. The potential here is endless, especially when combined with augmented reality, bringing for the first time to every Smartphone user, a real world environment on the screen that is interactive…and now fully realized in physical dimensions beyond 2D. The technology can be integrated with elements of movement. Users can also use this technology to resize photos with their fingers and compress or widen information just as easily as Tony Stark talks to J.A.R.V.I.S.”
I smiled wide and proud. “Sorry, I do sometimes speak millennial. I hope you can keep up, my friends.”
I could almost hear Julia’s excitement even though the room was eerily quiet. I sensed her pride building, the fact that I actually impressed her by becoming a man and embracing my responsibilities.
I studied their faces. I immediately knew who was going to object and who was scared shitless because it was such a great concept. But that was just a matter of work, another day at the office. The idea had them intrigued. About now Janice would talk about the marketing. And I had the perfect scenario.
“Each and every one of us has a personal story. Something that we’ll never forget, memories that will never leave us even for a moment. When we walk through the remains of our hometown thirty years later, we want to remember what was as well as what is. So imagine if you will, carrying your phone through downtown…the city you grew up in. And pointing at the live view in front of you. You won’t just be able to identify landmarks. You’ll also be able to pull up living 3D images to go along with your tour. Video footage, photos. All happening right on your phone…being projected right in front of us. As if we can reach out and grab it. And now…we can all tell our story. We can share our story and make the memories real.”
“So? How did it go over?”
“They loved it,” I say, tongue in cheek, and barely able to control my smile. Oh all right, I admit it—an out of control smile. I couldn’t wipe the happiness from my face and neither could Julia. “I mean you heard them talk, right?”
“I did. But I really wanted to know what their faces were saying.”
“Board member one, shocked and amused. Board member number two, appalled but flinching and intrigued. Board member number three, well obviously he hates me. But he kept biting his tongue at the marketing angle. He knew it had potential. Especially when I told them all that I already made contact with MasterImage 3D and they were excited about the opportunity for a partnership.”
“I knew you had it in you,” Julia said, for the first time in weeks, finally looking into my eyes with trust—with something like admiration.
“Maybe I resisted going to work because I knew once I was going at it, it would be a full time job. Or a life sentence.”
“But you’re going to do great things with the company. And that’s what the board members are thinking right now. They invested in you, Ray. From what you told me about them…they want to believe in you. And hope is a wonderful thing.”
“And what about you?” I asked, a little unsurely. “Do you have…you know, hope in me?”
She laughed. “I think you do have a good heart. All things considered, you’re doing well. You’re growing up according to your own schedule. Sometimes that’s all we can ask from a person.”
“That sounds like a bleak outlook on Ray Valenti.”
She laughed again. “Of course I’m impressed, honey. I’m your biggest supporter, believe me. And when we print that article it’s going to be big…you’re going to be a media darling. A hero. I’ll make sure of it.”
“A hero…imagine that. I always thought I would have to sell out to become a hero.”
“No. Sometimes all you need to do is to find your heart. Your calling.”
“And sometimes all a hero needs is his muse. The woman who believes in him.”
“Oh, get off it.”
“No. This time it’s for real. Julia…” I gently touch her face, realizing this was one of the defining moments of my life. This was everything my life until now had prepared me for. This was the end or the beginning of all my legacy.
“When we were first intimate all I really knew was that I never wanted to stop seeing you. I wanted more of you. I desired you. I wanted more memories, more highs…maybe it was selfish. But the more we talked…the more I understood what you were saying, about taking life for granted. About appreciating every story.”
“I know…” she said with a smile. “I heard the presentation.”
“But it’s more than that. From the first time I met you, even during the lowest part, when you were busting my balls for me saying all that arrogant shit…even then I knew you were different. You were a real woman, a person I could learn to live with. A woman I wanted to impress. A woman I wish I deserved.”
She smiled, looking into my eyes like a teacher or a saint. But that wasn’t what I wanted. Not respect. Not lust. I wanted everything else from her.
“And when you gave me that locket…in that moment, something clicked inside me that I never felt before. It was like I was alive for the first time in my life. I felt something internally. I trusted someone…I wanted to be closer to someone…more than anyone I’ve ever met.”
“So what are you saying?” she said, finally losing her saintly smile.
“I know I’m in love with you.”
She double-blinked and lost eye contact.
“Oh my God…” she said, fluttering away like a nervous butterfly.
“I know. I don’t know where that came from except that it’s all I feel right now.”
“But…you’re you!”
“I know!”
“And I’m…I’m really screwed up too, Ray. I have major commitment issues.”
“I know! I wrote the book on commitment issues. But all I know is, when I’m with you I see a world where maybe we can both learn to trust each other. To be faithful. To share our stories. Together. Take it slow.”
“Like…one day at a time?”
“Yes. Like that. And maybe we can ease into something meaningful, as we spend more time hanging out. Traveling the world. Spooning in bed. Visiting desert islands. And sometimes…surrendering to temptation and fucking like animals.”
“Yeah,” she answered, looking at me again and this time with nowhere to run. “I think we should do that more often. Actually,…when is checkout time for this hotel?”
“In about two hours.”
“Can we stay? For maybe one more day…while we finalize the interview?”
“Yes, I think we can afford that,” I said with a broad smile, right before taking the beautiful Julia in my hand. Almost instinctively I took her face near to mine, my lips longing to feel her touch. We were still in the hotel, in the very hotel I once resisted her. But this time she was mine. Now, she looked at me as a woman who trusted, who loved, and who desired to know my heart.
For a change, removing our clothes and basking in our nakedness didn’t intoxicate me the same way it did when we met the first time. It felt like a revelation, a spiritual bonding of sorts. I removed the barriers of clothing that represented our lies, our facades and our regrets over the past. I wanted nothing more than
to hug her, kiss her, and explore her every valley and crevice. Our lovemaking was innocent and profane all at the same time.
Her body complemented mine as we spooned together, as we stood, as we make love on the floor—then the bed, then up against the wall. Like animals we danced. Like soul mates we bonded and made silly promises that fools in love make. As I entered her so deeply, without hesitation and without any goddamn protection—for whatever lovely accident lie ahead would only ensure we were bonded together. This wasn’t a mistake, it wasn’t a fanciful dream.
This time I wanted it to mean something. I pushed inside her with all my might, taking her on the bed and pounding so hard that we shook the tiny rooms of the hotel with our power. The energy spiraled out of control and like a yin and yang we curled up in matching shapes, sixty-nining each other in the most romantically course way imaginable. Everything about her taste, her writhing body as it clung to mine, and her mellifluous voice singing into my ear overwhelmed my senses, leaving me melting in wet joy.
We were gloriously naked and unashamed of our attraction, our imperfections, and yes even the confusing but strong feelings we had for each other. We couldn’t figure each other and yet we craved more layers, more mutual understanding.
She did eventually interview me, and yes even in the midst of our violent lovemaking. We thought it best to slightly retool the angle of the interview. She decided to cast me as a bit of a mysterious cad, since the press loves that kind of spin, and also so she wouldn’t tip anyone off that she was in love with her interview subject and thus a very biased source of information.
THE END
Book Reading Order
Exclusive Pleasure (Book 1 of Pleasure Series)
Naughty Package
Exotic (Book 2 of Pleasure Series)
