2019 Michelle MacQueen and Ann Maree Craven
All rights reserved.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and events are used fictitiously and any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons is entirely coincidental.
This book or any portion thereof
may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. Printed in the United States of America
Cover by Daqri Bernardo at Covers by Combs.
Editing by Kelly Hartigan at Xterraweb
To the labels that will never define us.
Did you fall in love with Becks like we did? His story, Dating Nashville, is book one of a new series called Discovering Me. It releases September 25th!
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Nashville isn’t going to know what hits them.
Contents
1. Addison
2. Julian
3. Addison
4. Julian
5. Addison
6. Julian
7. Addison
8. Julian
9. Addison
10. Julian
11. Addison
12. Julian
13. Addison
14. Julian
15. Addison
16. Julian
17. Addison
18. Julian
19. Addison
20. Julian
Epilogue
Want More Becks?
About Michelle
Also by Michelle MacQueen
About Ann Maree
Also By Ann Maree Craven
1
Addison
Some days, Addison Parker, captain of the cheerleading squad, homecoming queen, and the ‘It Girl’ of Twin Rivers High, just wanted to disappear from the limelight, go home, put on her yoga pants, tie her hair up in a messy bun, and read a book. But this was not the kind of disappearing she had in mind.
Addison fumbled her way through the cafeteria line, trying to figure out how she was going to get her tray over to her table when it seemed all her friends had forgotten about her again.
“Need some help, Addie?”
Addison turned at the sound of a familiar voice. “Nicky, yes, thank you! For a second, I was afraid you were that sophomore kid with the headgear always lurking around.” She gripped her crutches and followed Avery St. Germaine’s little brother through the line.
“How’s your foot since the accident?”
Addison made a face that had Nicky laughing.
“That bad, huh?”
“Stupid skiing trip took me out of cheerleading at the most important time of the year. State finals are coming up in a few months, and I’m going to miss it.”
“Not just a sprain then?” Nicky stopped to grab her some napkins and a straw.
“I thought it was at first, but the doctors are saying it’s worse than they originally thought.” Addison’s accident was a ridiculous fluke that ended up on YouTube. While on the senior ski trip, she caught her ski in the ski lift and fell off her seat. The lift dragged her up into the air, and when she had the presence of mind to unbuckle her ski boots, her foot got caught again before she finally fell into the powdery snow below. It was comical, she had to admit.
“Somehow, I tore the ligaments in three places. I have to do physical therapy, and I might even be looking at surgery before this is over. And I don’t even like skiing.” But she was Addison, and the popular girl was expected to do these things. The timing of her injury couldn’t be worse. It was her senior year and her last chance to take the squad to finals. In her sophomore year, Addison became the youngest team captain in Twin Rivers High history. Since then, she’d worked tirelessly to cultivate the perfect team and had taken her squad to place at state finals every year. This year should have been the cherry on top of her college resume with a state finals win under her belt, but now that she was out of commission and her friend Meghan was taking over, there was no guarantee they would win. And if they did, Meghan would get all the credit for three years of Addie’s hard work.
“Tough break, kid.” Nicky winked. “You let me know if you need help getting around. I can see your friends aren’t exactly the observant sort.” Nicky gestured at the table where Addie usually sat with her teammates.
“Thanks, Nicky.” She dropped into her seat, exhausted from the effort.
“Oh, Addie, there you are. What took you so long?” Meghan frowned. “We’re almost done with the meeting.”
“Meeting?”
“Yes. I called a special meeting for lunch period. Didn’t you get the group text?”
“No, I didn’t see it.” Funny how that worked out.
“Well, I was just telling the girls that since you’re not competing this year, and I’m in charge of the team now, I’d like to tweak our program for finals.”
“Absolutely not.” Addie glared at her temporary co-captain. “I might not be able to compete, but I am still captain of this squad, and the routine is my decision. We have worked that routine to death making it perfect. We can all do it in our sleep.”
“That’s kind of the point, Addie. It’s too easy. We need to step it up this year and take a risk. Don’t you worry about a thing.” She and the other girls started packing up the remnants of their lunch. “You’re welcome to come to practice and stay in the loop, but this is my team now, and I promise I’ll do you proud.” She gave Addison’s shoulder a squeeze and left with the other girls.
Addie stared down at her salad, no longer hungry. For the first time in her life, she sat alone at a lunch table. It wasn’t half bad. At least it was quiet.
* * *
The bell for next period rang, but Addie still fought a losing battle with the books in her locker. As the entire contents of her locker crashed to the ground, she thought about giving up and going home.
“Ugh, can this day be over already?” She stared at the pile of books on the floor and the students rushing to get to their classes on time.
Where’s that kid with the headgear when you need him?
Addie didn’t want to give too much thought to how she could be the popular girl, homecoming queen, etcetera, when no one was actually around when she really needed a friend.
Not that it was always that way. Two years ago, she was surrounded by the kind of friends she’d trusted with her life. At least most of them. And then that night happened, and everything changed. When people talked about “that night,” they meant the accident that took Cooper Callahan’s life and left Cameron Tucker with a prosthetic leg. But for Addie, the life-changing moments of that night happened earlier. And afterward, she’d pushed everyone away and surrounded herself with friends who didn’t expect anything from her.
Don’t go down that rabbit hole, Addie. She clutched her locker door for support and gingerly leaned down to grab her books.
“Let me help you with that.”
“Thanks, but I think I’ve got it.” After all, she was going to be stuck with these crutches for weeks, and she needed to learn to do these things herself.
“You look ridiculous, Addie. Let me help.”
She glanced up, and her insides seized in panic. She lost her balance and landed on her butt beside her pile of belongings, her crutch clattering to the floor. Cooper Callahan’s face would haunt her dreams for the rest of her life. She didn’t need his identical twin, Julian, haunting her during the day too. She focused on his odd eyes. One blue eye and one brown one. Cooper’s eyes were both brown. Not Coop, she reminded herself.
�
��Thanks, Julian.” She held her breath as he took her hand and helped her back onto her feet.
“Eh, I’m late for class as usual. At least you’ll give me a believable excuse for missing Mr. Randolph’s riveting lecture on the Great Depression. I’ve read The Grapes of Wrath, thanks, I’m all caught up on the level of suck happening across the country back then.”
Addie liked his babbling. It was another reminder that he wasn’t Cooper. Where Coop was the all-American Golden Boy, football god, and smooth talker, his twin was a loner and an outcast.
“That’s a great book,” Addie said.
“You’ve read it?” Julian looked at her skeptically.
“It was required reading.” He didn’t need to know she’d read the book years before it was assigned.
“I have to say it, Addison.” Julian gave her a serious frown. “Your friends suck at taking care of you. Have the assholes not noticed you’re on crutches?” He finished gathering up her books, stuffing the ones she needed into her bag and placing the others neatly back in her locker. All without pausing for a breath.
“I’m managing okay on my own.”
He cocked his head at her with a frown.
“With a few minor hiccups,” she admitted, shuffling down the empty hall beside him.
“I know I’m not your favorite person. I remind everyone of Coop and not in a good way. But it looks like these crutches are going to be around for a while. So, if you need anything, you can always text me.” He took her phone and keyed in his number. “No questions or judgments. If you drop your books, get stuck in the rain, or need a ride somewhere, just ask. I won’t bite.” He handed off her bag and left her standing at the door of her fifth period class with Mrs. Fletcher.
How did he know I have History this period?
Addison watched him walk away, confident like Cooper but without the arrogance. Two nice deeds in one afternoon, and none of them from her friends. It left Addie feeling like she needed to reevaluate the people she chose to spend her time with.
“Take a seat, Ms. Parker,” Mrs. Fletcher said as Addie lingered in the doorway.
“Sorry I’m late.” Addison lifted her crutches in explanation and lumbered her way to her back-row seat, bumping into several classmates on her way. “Sorry.” She finally dropped into her chair. Somehow, walking with crutches was more exhausting than an entire afternoon of cheer practice. Opening her notebook, she prepared to pretend to pay attention. History was normally one of her favorite subjects, but she wasn’t in the mood to even attempt following the lesson today. The buzz of her phone was too tempting to ignore. Hoping for a very special message, she dropped her phone in her lap. Her shoulders fell. It wasn’t the one she wanted, but she smiled at the name Julian saved his number under.
Errand boy: You have a ride home?
She was tempted to answer, but Addie had to remind herself Julian Callahan was not her friend. With him, conversations would always turn to talk of Coop, and she refused to go there with anyone. It didn’t matter that he had beautifully weird eyes and was a master at playful banter.
Addie doodled in her notebook, making a show of copying the notes on the screen, but a No BS notification flashed on her phone stealing her attention.
Hiding in plain sight. Does anyone else do this or is it just me? I go to school. I do all the things expected of me. I have friends. I talk. I laugh. I study. I get decent grades. Wash, rinse, repeat. But none of it’s really me. Sometimes I don’t think I know who “me” is. #AmIAlone
—@Normal_Is_Overrated
@Normal_Is_Overrated I think we can all relate to this. We’re young and sometimes I think we all go through the motions of what’s expected of us because we don’t have a clue what else to do. I have faith we’ll all figure it out in college—at least I hope we will! Until then, keep your chin up and know you are so not alone in this. We’ve all been there.
—@CupcakesAreMyNemesis @NoBSMod
Addison smiled at Peyton’s response. Most people knew by now that @Cupcakes was Peyton Callahan, creator and mastermind behind the No BS craze. Once upon a time, Addie and Peyton were close friends, and Addie was proud of Peyton’s accomplishments. She missed Peyton and Nari and the easy friendship they used to share. Before Addie’s world changed and she couldn’t tolerate that kind of closeness anymore.
Without a second thought. Addie began to type.
@Normal_Is_Overrated I can relate. Hiding in plain sight is my daily goal. I go through the motions, but I don’t feel anything. I’m surrounded by people, but I’m closed off. I have “friends” but I don’t even know if I like them. I think it’s entirely possible that some of us just don’t know who we are yet. Here’s to figuring it out. Someday.
—@ShutUpAndDrive
2
Julian
Julian Callahan wasn’t exactly what anyone would call studious. He didn’t see how some lame history lesson would change his life. Math definitely wasn’t in his future. And science? Well, it wasn’t like he was going to be a doctor or a chemist anytime soon.
Why did he have to sit through some boring teacher droning on for fifty minutes when he could learn anything he needed to know from books?
That was right. Julian was a reader. No one at his stupid school would think the loner who was missing from class more than he attended spent his spare time with his nose in a book. But then, no one at Twin Rivers High thought much about him at all.
That was the way he liked it.
Except for one girl.
He checked his phone for the millionth time that period, scrolling through his text messages. He smiled when he saw his sister’s random messages that had basically no meaning other than the fact that she was craving cupcakes.
She was always craving cupcakes.
Pulling up the text he’d sent when he first slid behind his desk forty-five minutes ago, he grimaced when he saw there was no response. Why did he even care? Addison Parker was not the girl she used to be. The girl who’d spent half her time defending Julian’s sister, Peyton, from her cheerleading squadmates and the other half drooling after his brother, Cooper.
Golden boy Cooper Callahan. Was it wrong to envy a dead man? When they were kids, Cooper and Julian were inseparable. As they got older and entered high school, they went to opposite ends of the food chain. Julian had never hated his low status among their annoying peers. He didn’t want to be one of them.
But he had envied the fact that Addison Parker never hid her feelings for Cooper. And what had Coop done? Taken advantage of it.
Julian hated thinking about the night the accident took his twin’s life. Not only because his brother died, but because in the hours before the car went off the bridge, he’d hated him. For the first time, his annoyance with Cooper turned into a full-blown fury that he hadn’t been able to contain.
Before the party, he’d planned on that being the night he told Addison she pined after the wrong twin, that he’d do anything to show her he was the guy for her. It was the only reason he went in the first place.
Images returned to him and he no longer sat in history.
“Hey, Julian.” Addison smiled in that honest way she had. She wasn’t like the rest of her squad. There was something deeper in her eyes, some knowledge that she knew and no one else did.
Julian fumbled for words as he always did around her. He wasn’t confident like his brother, not when it came to Addison.
Addison smiled into her cup and swayed on her feet.
“You okay, Addie?” He reached out to steady her.
She nodded, latching onto his arm. Her fingers sent waves of heat through him.
“I’m glad you came to my party tonight.” Her words slurred, and her unfocused eyes held his gaze.
“I wouldn’t have missed it.”
She laughed a full-throat laugh, not the dainty giggles of the girls in the room behind them. “Yes, you would have. You never hang out with us anymore.”
She wasn’t wrong. Their group—Addie, Co
oper, Peyton, Cam, Nari, and Avery—had been friends since they were kids. As the years went on, Julian pulled away. Or he guessed Cooper pushed him away little by little.
Julian only shrugged.
Addie didn’t let go of his arm. Was Julian imagining her grip tightening? She stepped closer to him. No, he couldn’t do this. Whatever she was trying to do, she was drunk, and Julian would not let her do anything she’d regret.
If he was going to make his move, she’d be stone-cold sober and in charge of her actions.
“Addie.” He groaned, stepping back.
“Julian,” she whispered. “Your eyes are prettier than Cooper’s.”
Her words were like a splash of cold water in his face. Everyone compared him to Cooper, but her saying that just reminded Julian he wasn’t the twin she wanted.
As if on cue, Cooper appeared, slinging an arm over Addison’s shoulders and breaking her connection with Julian. “Hey, Addie.” He dropped his voice seductively.
Yep, Cooper was drunk too. It was a party. He wouldn’t expect anything else from his brother.
“You keeping my girl company, little brother?”
Julian scowled at the little part. He was thirteen minutes younger than Cooper.
Addison giggled, and Julian hated how she changed as soon as Cooper neared. Where was the deep chuckling? It had been replaced with this girlish sound. She wasn’t Cooper’s girl. As soon as school started on Monday, he’d act as if she didn’t exist once again.
The C Word: Redefining Me (Book 3) Page 1