“I’m doing fine. It is hard, but I will be fine.” Elise made sure that the mask on her face was in place. It was hard to keep her face straight, to push the sadness away from her eyes.
“If you aren’t doing all right, we can take care of this for you. We would expect you not to be okay.” Carol was looking at her with sympathy again, but Elise knew that there was more there. Carol was always the first to find out what was happening with people in town. Elise knew that she would turn around and speculate about Elise’s feelings with the next person she talked to.
“I’m fine. I will manage this and arrange the funeral.” Elise took a step away from Carol and the other bystanders who had come when they heard her father passed. She walked across the space between her and the cabin and approached the undertaker supervising his workers.
Dealing with these things was foreign to Elise. She’d dealt with everything since her father fell ill. She’d taken care of the money, of the small ranch that her father started. She had done everything. But taking care of a funeral while she was grieving was too much.
Elise knew that if she let the emotions get to her, she was going to buckle. She would fall under the weight of them. She would not be able to keep going again. So, she didn’t allow herself to grieve. Besides the moment when she had sat beside her father as he died, she hadn’t allowed herself to think about it. She did not let herself consider what had happened and how it would change her life.
She just kept it all in. She didn’t focus on everything going wrong. She didn’t focus on the fact that she was alone in the world now … except for her Aunt Lena, whom she didn’t even remember, she had no relatives left.
As she stood there after they had taken her father, she let her mind travel to all the things that awaited her in the future weeks. She had promised her father she would travel to California but had no idea how she would do that. She had read about the wagon train and heard about how it went all the way to California. She wasn’t sure if there was a stagecoach that would take her or how long the journey would be, but knew she had to try.
It was the last promise she’d made to her father, and she meant to keep it. Besides, there was no reason for her to stay in Richwater, Texas anymore.
She took a ragged breath. Carol was the last to leave with one more fleeting look in Elise’s direction.
Elise watched her go with rigid shoulders. She didn’t need anyone in town to help her with what she couldn’t even think about. None of them understood. How could they possibly understand the relationship she had shared with her father and the absence he left in her life?
How could they understand the feelings she had to face all alone now? They couldn’t. They liked to think that they could try. They liked to pretend they understood everything. They liked to pretend they knew exactly what she was suffering, but they had no idea.
There was no way that anyone knew what she was going through. Just at that thought, her emotions threatened to take over once more. She shoved them down, forcing herself to keep her composure. She was too strong to let this destroy her. She was going to get out of this town and make it to her aunt’s, just like she had promised her father.
When she got there, she would allow herself to realize everything she had lost. Then she would properly grieve her past life that was no more.
Chapter 4
Ronan came down the steps of the hotel. It was early, and the sun was just barely rising. Getting up early was something that Ronan had done for a long time. Ever since he was a child, he had made sure to be the first one up.
He let himself fall into a memory of his childhood that had solidified that habit.
Ronan slipped out of his bed. The floor was freezing, burning into his feet and robbing them of their warmth immediately. Ronan shivered as he pulled on his clothes and slipped his feet into his shoes. The action did little to warm him. His shoes had holes so big that the cold came in as if it were invited.
“Ronan, are you coming?” Timmy asked, giving Ronan a quick look of worry.
Ronan looked out the window. The sun was already coming up, and it was late, too late.
“Yes, I’m coming. Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?”
“I was tired. I slept in. You usually wake me up.” Timmy’s eyes were wide.
“I know; I’m sorry.” Ronan buttoned the last button on his shirt, and the two boys rushed out of the dormitory. When they got to the cafeteria, their fear was realized. No one was there anymore.
Breakfast was served early, right before sunrise, and from there, they went to study and work.
“What if we find Miss Addy?” Timmy looked hopeful.
“No. She said she couldn’t give us food late again. We will have to wait until lunch.” Ronan led the way to their work stations. They all worked downstairs, doing simple things that the headmaster called a help to the community.
Ronan’s stomach growled with hunger. He wished they hadn’t slept in. The momentary extra sleep wasn’t going to be worth the gnawing pain he would have the rest of the day.
He was going to make sure he never woke up late again.
Ronan grimaced. The lack of food and gnawing hunger when he missed a meal wasn’t the worst part of his time at the orphanage, but it was certainly memorable. That time he’d woken up late hadn’t been his last or his first. Things happened, and sometimes they would make it in time, and other times they wouldn’t.
Ronan shook himself from his rambling memories and forced himself to focus on the present. He searched the room for Mack and found him behind the counter, talking with some customers.
He stayed off to the side, waiting for Mack to be free.
“You’re leaving already?” Mack was asking the older couple.
“Yes, someone I was close to died in Richwater, Texas. I knew that we had to get back as soon as I heard the news. I need to be there for his burial if I can. It will take us two days if we go from morning till night in the stagecoach.” The man looked distraught.
Ronan perked up at the mention of Richwater. History in Richwater, Texas made his stomach churn. He hadn’t been there for years. It was always at the back of his mind as somewhere he should go back to soon, but he had never made it back.
“I’m sorry, was it a family member?”
“No, a friend. He was like a brother to me, even though we haven’t spoken to him in some time.” The man’s voice was heavy in sadness. Ronan wanted to tell him it was unlikely they would make it back to Richwater, Texas, even if they did leave that very day. It was a long ride, a good three or even four-day journey. If you went on horseback and knew the right shortcuts, it could be done in less, though.
Ronan felt himself crossing the room and then leaning up against the counter.
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but who passed in Richwater, Texas? I wouldn’t expect the news to come all the way over here if it wasn’t someone important.” Even though news traveled between towns fast, it usually didn’t travel that fast unless it was of someone well-known.
“Frank Herrin. I don’t know if you knew him. Lots of people did. He used to come here to town often, to my town too.” The older man looked as if he remembered fond memories.
But Ronan was hardly listening to him anymore. He was too overwhelmed by the name the man had just said.
“Frank Herrin? You have to be wrong!” he said in shock.
“I’m not. My sister, Carol, works at the seamstress shop. She sent me a telegram right away yesterday evening. Apparently, he died yesterday morning. They expect the burial to be day after tomorrow. It takes a few days to get everything in order, you know?”
“Yes,” Ronan answered automatically without recognizing his own words. “How did she find out that Mr. Herrin died?” Ronan had a hard time speaking at all. His words became stuck in his throat, and his pulse roaring through his head made it distracting to focus.
“He passed away yesterday. Apparently, he hasn’t been doing well for quite some time. It’s terrible
really. He had a lot of people who cared about him, even if he didn’t have much family, but no one was able to save him. I would imagine this has been a very trying time for his daughter. What was her name?” The older man seemed to be searching his memory for her name.
Ronan wanted to tell him that it was Elise, but he bit his tongue. Mr. Herrin and his daughter were never far from his mind, but this man didn’t need to know that.
“I actually have to go.” Ronan spun and walked back up the stairs before Mack or the couple could stop him. He didn’t want to process all the information he’d just received in front of others. He wanted to do it alone, in privacy.
When he stepped into the hotel room, he stumbled over to the bed and sat down on the edge, burying his face into his hands. He tried to think back to how many years it had been. He was sixteen the last time he’d been at the Herrins’ ranch. He would never forget the night he had met them.
Ronan stumbled through the night. It was dark already, and he was starting to fear what was in the woods with him. He knew the town he was looking for had to be up ahead somewhere. He had never thought that after he left the orphanage, things would be so difficult.
He had figured he would find a job, earn some money, and then get a place for himself. Maybe he would become wealthy and then offer his home to other children like him, without parents and a family.
But towns weren’t as welcoming as he had thought they would be. If anyone was willing to give a job to a fifteen-year-old, it didn’t have very good pay. Then if it paid decently, they didn’t trust him enough to give him the job. It was a strange turn of events.
When Ronan accepted a post at a ranch, doing hard labor, at the end of the week, they had refused to pay him, saying he had eaten his wages in meals. Even though Ronan pointed out that the other ranch hands had also eaten but still got paid, he was fired for questioning their methods. Boys were not treated like men. That was for sure.
Ronan hated stealing, but when he was starving and hadn’t eaten in longer than a day, he felt like he didn’t have a choice. He had taken only what he needed, but people didn’t seem to care about that. They ran him off and called the sheriff on him.
A soft light in the distance made him pick up the pace. He was too far away to see what it was, but as he drew closer, he saw that it was a cabin. About twenty paces from the cabin was a huge barn. It looked well kept, at least from what Ronan could see in the dark night.
The sky rumbled, and a light mist began to fall. Ronan groaned; he couldn’t keep looking for Richwater during this weather. He’d been practically chased away from the town he was in last.
He headed toward the barn, ignoring the hunger pains in his stomach. He fell through the barn door, closing it carefully behind him. The sound of animals moving in their stalls with passive curiosity put him on edge. Had the owners of this barn already done the chores?
Ronan was exhausted. He hadn’t eaten anything since that morning. He had walked for the entire day. He was so done that he didn’t even care if he was caught. He walked straight to the fresh hay and fell into it, letting sleep take over.
***
Ronan groaned as something shook him. He blinked a few times and found himself staring into an older man’s face. Immediately, the night before came rushing to him. He leapt up, jumping back, rushing to take in his surroundings.
Now that daylight streamed into the barn, he could see that it was indeed full of animals. There were a few cows, two horses, a cat, and even a couple of sheep all staring at him as if he were a stray dog.
“Whoa, I’m not going to hurt you, boy.” The man who had been shaking him gently said, holding out his hand.
“I- I’m sorry, mister. I was tired, and it was late. It was starting to rain. I- I saw the barn, and I just had to lay down. I can do some work for ya if you’d like to pay for me using your hay.” Ronan shrugged and looked at the ground expecting more punishment. He wasn’t sure what sort of man this was. Would he beat him for taking a night in his barn? Would he chase him from town? Ronan looked down at his clothes. They looked old and tattered and muddy. It wasn’t a surprise considering the use he’d put them through.
“No, no need. You look hungry and like you could use some cleaning up. Come on. Follow me. My daughter probably has breakfast ready by now.” The man motioned for him to follow.
Ronan watched him with suspicious eyes. Surely, he wasn’t serious. Surely, he was testing him to see if he would take the bait.
“Come, you don’t have to look so worried. Do you think I’ve never fallen on hard times? You look like a good and honest boy. You just needed some rest.”
Ronan wanted to tell the man that he wasn’t a boy and didn’t need help, but his words got trapped in his throat, and refused to come out.
“I’m Frank Herrin, by the way. You can call me Mr. Herrin. I live here with my daughter, Elise. You’ll meet her in a second. I could use an extra pair of hands around here if you want to stick around a few days. It’s always hard for us to keep up with everything all alone.”
The man walked to the entrance of the barn and motioned once more for Ronan to follow. He stepped forward, one step after another, bringing him closer to Mr. Herrin still afraid that the invitation was just a ruse.
Ronan didn’t want to trust him. He didn’t want to accept food and shelter not knowing what the price he would have to pay would be. But his stomach hurt so badly that he didn’t know what else to do. His head was spinning, and his limbs felt weak. Ronan had experienced enough hunger in his time to know that he needed some food if he wanted to continue walking and moving.
When they stepped into the cabin, he was immediately hit by the warmth and delicious smells coming from the kitchen. It wasn’t that it was cold outside anymore. They were in Texas after all, and spring was giving way to summer. He was thinking about a different kind of warmth, a family sort of warmth.
A young girl was cooking at the stove. She was stirring something with a look of serious concentration on her pretty face. Her bright blue eyes were intent on whatever she was making.
Now that Ronan was paying more attention, he smelled a whiff of burnt something in the air.
“Elise, I think that’s about done. Why don’t you serve it up before it’s inedible?” Mr. Herrin said with a chuckle.
Elise turned around with a quirky smile. Shock registered on her face for a split second when she saw Ronan beside Mr. Herrin.
“Oh, I forgot to mention, we have a guest this morning. Found him out in the barn. I think he could use some food. He looks to be a sort of stray like all the cats you take in.”
“Pa, you know I don’t cook great.” Elise looked more worried about her food’s taste than the fact her father had brought in a stranger from the barn.
“I’m sure that our guest here won’t mind. You never gave me your name.” Mr. Herrin turned to Ronan with a grin.
“It’s Ronan,” he answered as if his mouth had a mind of its own. Ronan wasn’t even sure why he trusted this man with his name. Maybe it was because his daughter was standing right there with that trusting look on her face. Or maybe it was because Mr. Herrin was the first person to truly be kind to him since he’d left the orphanage in the city.
“Well, Ronan, have a seat. You are welcome at our table any time.”
Ronan shook himself out of the memory. That was the thing about Mr. Herrin and his daughter. They had never judged him. They had never asked him why his clothes looked like they were about to fall apart or why he was dirty or sleeping in their barn. Mr. Herrin had given him some of his own old clothes.
A Long Way to Love: A Historical Western Romance Book Page 3
