“Yes I should, I don’t want you to feel bad.”
Mandy grinned. “I think I can get over feeling bad.”
“You know what I mean I don’t...want you to end up like you did on graduation night.”
Mandy slumped into her chair. She remember how distraught Natalie was when she woke up. It was the first of several trips they’d taken to the hospital. “I think I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t want to take the chance,” Natalie said. Her chest rose and she flattened her lips together.
Mandy didn’t know what to say. Her stomach was a black pit. She tried to form words, an apology of some kind, but nothing she thought of sounded right.
Natalie changed the subject and they started talking about the new anime that were released that week. They spent a little time watching a few episodes before Natalie left so she could get ready for bed.
TWO
Mandy spent the entirety of the next morning in bed. Her father had come to see her after her conversation with her sister. While they were talking, he picked up on her dismal attitude. He asked her what was wrong but she didn’t want to say. Before he left, he told her to call him if she needed anything and that his phone was always on.
A heavy pang slammed her in the gut. She’d relied on him for support, a lot, and it had cost him at work. It would be devastating if he lost his job. Government assistance helped with her medication, but it was her father’s salary that made up the difference. If he lost that, not only would they not be able to afford her medical bills, but they’d lose everything.
She saw her dad and her sister looking at her with eyes that turned to black. They were homeless, wearing potato sacks, living under a bridge at the end of the street. People came by and looked at them in pity as they huddled around a fire her dad had started in a barrel. There was no food to eat, and it was her fault. All her fault.
Her heart felt like it was being ripped out of her chest. Her stomach was ice. Mandy grabbed at her pajamas and pulled at the fabric as the world spun.
It was during times like these that she would call her father and he would tell her it would be okay. He would presumably tell her sister about the problem and her sister would rush home, missing soccer practice, giving up on her dream, and come to check on her.
Mandy’s throat was dry and her stomach heaved. She closed her eyes. She tried to imagine a waterfall but she could only manage a dim, black and white meadow. Slowly, she counted to ten and regulated her breathing. In and out. In and out. Eventually, she grew calmer.
Mandy got up from the bed and shakily walked to a bookshelf on the wall. She found her favorite manga and flipped through it. It was a magical girl story, one where a girl is blessed with magic powers and beats up bad guys trying to conquer the world with her powers.
She’d read it a million times but looking through it had always managed to calm her down. She flipped through the pages, glancing at the familiar images. They brought her back to a time of innocence, a time that seemed too far removed from the life she now led.
Mandy walked over to the window. Through the flap of the blinds the sun was shining down on a busy street. People talked as they walked on the sidewalk and cars zoomed past. Her eyes went to two of the people, a young man and woman, holding hands and laughing about something only they knew.
They were so lucky. They got to have normal lives and live like nothing was wrong. She thought about Aaron. They used to walk down the street like that, hand-in-hand, laughing about a new game, anime, or whatever was going on at school.
Feeling the onset of panic, Mandy trudged over to her computer desk. Mandy called up her video playlist and looked through the anime she had there. There was a lot, but like the manga on the bookshelf, she’d seen them all before.
She didn’t want to watch something that reminded her of her past, especially right now. She had to do something, anything to get her mind off of what her sister told her about last night. But what could she do?
Mandy surfed the net for a little while and read a few articles on Encylopedia Web. She tried to watch a few videos online, but she began to shake when she saw a video of people partying on the beach.
She closed the web browser and sighed. Anxiety wildly flared in her gut. She instinctively reached for the phone with a quivering hand, but stopped herself.
She had to find something to get her mind off of this. There had to be something. With literally trillions of websites, there had to be something out there to read and put her mind at ease.
Her thoughts went to the conversation she had with her psychologist yesterday. Mandy opened the saved chat logs on her computer and found the links he’d given her. She scrolled her mouse over the first one and paused. Images of her interacting with random strangers online took her breath away.
Mandy squeezed her eyes shut and clicked on the link. When she slowly opened her eyes she was met with an article. It was titled Unexplored - A New Horizon in VRMMOs?
The article was about a new virtual reality massive multiplayer online game called Unexplored. It was a new MMO by a company called Mindsplosion Studios. The article gushed about the amazing graphics and realistic feel of the game. The writer concluded with “if the game is as good as the trailers, you’ll have a ‘Mindsplosion.’”
She looked at some of the trailers and her eyes popped out. She wasn’t certain if she was watching a video of a game or an elaborate cosplay video on NetVid. It was super real. It felt so real that watching it made her shiver. Still though, she didn’t look away. The grasses moved naturally as the wind blew through it, and the way the character’s body gestured on screen was fluid and natural.
Mandy watched in awe as a minotaur warrior fought a goblin. You could make out all of the individual dark grey hairs on the minotaur’s body and even see a couple of little warts on the goblin’s arms. When the large warrior’s axe went through the goblin’s skull, the crunching sound and resulting crimson rain actually made her cringe.
Mandy soon saw herself in those trailers, bravely adventuring in the open landscape, fighting monsters and saving the world from evil.
The article linked to another that said the game was in the beta testing stages, but it was a closed beta test. This was because of one of the game’s more controversial features. Apparently players could have sex with other characters in the world, which is why you had to be eighteen to play. Doing a quick web search brought up a few erotic videos Mindsplosion released, and Mandy had to admit they were more than a little exciting.
She wasn’t terribly interested in the sexual aspect, but the game did look exhilarating. Mandy opened the second link her psychiatrist gave her and it led to the webpage of Dr. Gregory Thames, a psychologist at Travis Cramer University. The details of his study were there. The university had struck a deal with Mindsplosion to use their game, Unexplored, as a testing ground for the experiment.
The website encouraged those that suffered from anxiety related disorders to contact Dr. Thames and set up a consultation. Mandy snorted when the last line of the website pointed out in bold print that the sexual aspects of the game were not being explored in this trial, probably to keep away the people who were looking forward to that portion of the game’s “social” aspect.
Inspired by the gameplay footage she saw she sent an email to Dr. Thames. Sometimes sending a correspondence to someone, even through email, scared her. However, an excitement she hadn’t felt in years about grand adventure pushed all fear out of her mind. Mandy feverishly wrote Dr. Thames an email, mentioning that her psychologist told her about the experiment.
When she was finished, she reread what she wrote. She felt an inkling of dread creep up, and hit submit before she was tempted to erase what she’d written.
After the email was sent, her mind was calm. She opened her browser with the intent to watch some anime, but she only stared blankly at the screen, daydreaming about epic adventure. Mandy figured that her chances of getting selected were slim, since quite a few people
would want a chance to play a game like that. But, she had to try. She laughed with self derision. She must have been really inspired by the game, because she never wanted to try anything in relation to social contact.
Thirty minutes later she received an email from Dr. Thames. Mandy was surprised she got a response so fast. It was probably an auto rejection message. She chewed her cheek as she slowly scrolled over and clicked the light blue notification window.
It felt like a steel ball rested in her throat as she read the message.
Dear Mandy,
I’ve read your email outlining your condition and, after a brief discussion with one of my colleagues, I feel that you would be a good candidate for this study. I am closely associated with Dr. Braun and would be excited with the opportunity to work with one of his patients. I would like to talk to you as soon as possible to set up a consultation. I am free this coming Tuesday. Does that work for you?
Thank you very much for your time and interest.
Greg
Mandy sat staring at the screen. He was interested in working with her? He wanted to set up a consultation? Elation caused her to leap up from her chair. They wanted to work with her! They wanted to put her in that world, that exciting world of excitement and adventure!
An open world of adventure, where other people could see her. A blizzard instantly swirled in her stomach. Her legs went numb. There would be so many beta testers in that world. Hundreds, thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands! Mandy’s breath came in stuttering gasps. No, she couldn’t let them see her. What would they do to her?
Mandy gripped her Pajamas and focused on her hammering heart. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine a calming scene, but when that failed she bit her tongue. The pain gave her something else to focus on and her nerves calmed somewhat.
Mandy’s jittery fingers typed out a quick response and Greg got back with her, setting up a meeting for Tuesday afternoon. When the meeting was set up, her mind cleared and the reality of the situation hit her. She was going to test out a cool game, a cool game that might help with her anxiety! She whooped and threw her hands into the air. After she’d done this for the hundredth time, she heard a knock on the door.
Natalie stood in the doorway looking perplexed.
“What?” Mandy said, matching her sister’s confused look.
“What’s going on in here? I heard a bunch of noise.”
Mandy drug her sister over to her computer to show her what had gotten her so excited.
Natalie’s jaw dropped. “Are you serious?” Natalie gawped when her sister showed her the online articles and email exchange. “Oh God, you’re actually serious.”
Mandy shuffled her feet. “Yes, I am. Is that bad?”
Natalie grinned. “No, that is amazing! If this goes through you’re gonna beta test Unexplored.”
“You’ve heard about the game?”
“Everybody has heard about it. People have been looking forward to it for years! Have you seen the trailers?”
“Yeah, they look amazing.”
“They are. This is a huge opportunity.”
“It is, but it’s mainly for a study. I doubt that I’ll get to play the game normally. Do you think dad will let me play it? The game is, uh, well there are some parts.”
“I don’t think Dad is gonna care. You’re twenty-one, what’s he gonna do, tell you no?”
“I hope not. I…” Mandy grasped her wrist. “I really want to do this. I need this to work.”
Natalie rose from the chair and hugged her sister. “I’m sure it will. Even if it doesn’t, you still get to try out a cool looking game.”
“I just hope I don’t freak out. I mean it looks so real. It’ll be like I’m outside.”
Natalie pulled Mandy onto the bed and rested a hand on her shoulder. “I think that might be the point. You can be outside without actually having to be outside. If things get bad, you can just pull out of the game.”
“What if something else goes wrong?” Mandy said.
“Then I’ll be here to watch you play it. Most VR games have a kill switch that you can activate outside of a game. If something happens, I’ll activate it and get you out.”
Mandy nodded. “Okay, that sounds better. But I don’t want you to waste your time just watching me. You have other things to do.”
Natalie shrugged. “I do, but this is more important. If this can help you feel better then I want to do it.”
Mandy didn’t have the words to express how thankful she felt toward her sister. She just smiled at her, and Natalie smiled back.
Natalie brought their dad back into Mandy’s room and they talked about the experiment. He was supportive and offered to help in any way he could.
On the day of the meeting, all three sat in front of Mandy’s computer and talked to Dr. Thames and Dr. Braun about the experiment. Natalie had discerned the theory behind it. Test subjects were placed into the world of Unexplored to interact with the environment. After each play session, the person would undergo an evaluation to see if any progress was made in coping with their anxiety.
While the patient was in the game, brain wave pattern information would be sent to Dr. Thames’s computer via the VR band the player wore. If any ill effects were being suffered by the player, a researcher would pull the player out of the game. Dr. Braun volunteered his time to perform this part.
As an added measure of security, Dr. Braun suggested that someone be there with Mandy while she played the game. Natalie instantly volunteered. Mandy objected at first, not wanting her sister to miss soccer practice. However, Natalie and her father convinced her that her well being was more important, and she relented.
All three of them filled out some online forms and sent them to Dr. Thames. After a couple of days, a box arrived in the mail.
Natalie was as excited as Mandy when she brought the package to her sister’s room. Mandy opened it and inside was a flashy blue box. On the cover was a muscled Minotaur posing with a massive axe slung over his back. To his right a scantily clad cat girl with a long black tail and ears winked over her shoulder. Unexplored was spelled out across the top of the box in gold block letters that formed an arch.
Inside was a white band that went around the player’s head along with a few codes to install the game. There was also a little white box that could be attached to the hip with several, extendable black tubes coming out of it. According to a little instruction booklet found beneath it, it was a “Pleasure Synthesizer” and it was supposed to be used to simulate sexual encounters in the game. There were two settings, male and female. Selecting the female option caused one of the tubes to close off and form a dome shaped head.
Mandy quickly put this item down and found a letter in the box, thanking the player for beta testing the game. Beneath this text were instructions from Dr. Thames, outlining the safety precautions Natalie was to follow when watching Mandy play.
Dr. Thames’s letter instructed Natalie to shake Mandy if she was undergoing a severe reaction. The game would alert Mandy that something was wrong and she could log out of the game. The doctor’s message also instructed her not to use the “Pleasure Synthesizer” in order to decrease the risk of “overstimulation.” Mandy looked at with a tinge of disgust. Natalie couldn’t help but giggle as she watched her sister glare at the “Pleasure Synthesizer” sitting innocently on the bed like a deformed mechanical octopus.
Once everything was set up, Mandy put the VR band on her head and laid down on the bed. Trepidation laced exhilaration coursed through her veins. She looked at her sister and then closed her eyes.
“Computer, connect me,” Mandy said.
THREE
An undulating blue and purple tunnel surrounded Mandy as she fell. She screamed as she endured the horror of falling into a wavering abyss, toward a pinprick of light at the bottom. It was a fleeting feeling however, and after a few seconds she fell through a rectangular portal into a pool of bright white light.
The light faded around
her and she looked around to find herself in a stone room with alternating light and dark brown flagstone on the floor. In front of an empty stone hearth sat two overstuffed forest green armchairs on a bright red rug.
On her right was a small counter, behind which stood a little man in a pointed blue hat. He stepped from behind the counter and straightened his dark red suit jacket. Many wrinkles were set around his eyes and his beard was pointed and perfectly trim. He looked like the perfect caricature of a garden gnome.
“Good afternoon traveler, my name is Jaelmuth, welcome to Unexplored. The world is what you make it. May I have the pleasure of knowing your name?”
Fear coiled around Mandy’s stomach. It was another person, a person she didn’t know! She looked down at her body and noticed that she was completely nude.
She was exposed. This stranger could see her. Mandy’s heart banged in her chest. She looked down at her scrawny, featureless, naked body. “Wh-what happened to me?”
“Your physical features have been erased. When you create your character you’ll be able to fill all that in. I take it this is your first time in an MMO?”
Mandy took a step back from the gnome and wrapped her arms around herself. “No I - it’s just been a long time.”
The gnome stepped forward again and Mandy took several thudding steps back. She tripped over her own feet and fell on her butt. A sharp sting rushed through her backside. Wow, that hurt. It really hurt! She never felt something like that in a game before.
Worry was set on the gnome’s face. “Miss, are you okay?”
“I’m fine I - I’m just nervous. I don’t get out much.”
The gnome chuckled. “You sound like me. I spend twelve hours a day here at the office and go home. If you’re ever inclined to get a job in the video game industry, don’t go into customer service.”
Mandy’s pupiless eyes looked into the gnome’s green ones.
After a moment of silence Jaelmuth shook his head. “I was joking. Since you haven’t played an MMO in a while, I’m going to assume you haven’t looked up much information about Unexplored. I’ll give you the whole spiel.”
Sphiel's Song (A GameLit Virtual Fantasy Adventure) Page 2
