by Henry, Jane
Still.
I was hesitant even being in this house, even being a woman of the Clan on the periphery. I can’t imagine what it would be like… to really be owned by him. To really belong here. And though it appeals to me on the deepest, most basic level, the part of my innate humanity that longs for human companionship and a sense of belonging… it’s hard for me to reconcile. For there is no turning back after this. None.
And can I really imagine myself spending the rest of my life with a man like Tully?
I watch as he cleans us up, all traces of anger gone from his face.
He’ll be a good father. Won’t he?
I can’t really think of all this now. It’s hard to. I have a job, a humble place of my own. And moreover, I have goals, and dreams, ambitions.
My plans don’t include a child.
But I can already see him, nestling our child up to his bare chest, all tatted and rough and gruff, but soft and gentle as he holds our child. I feel myself melt a little.
A child born here, though… to this family… would have cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents.
Sigh.
A mild wave of nausea hits, but the medicine Sebastian gave me has helped so much, I can actually get ready for the day. He joins me in the shower, but we’re sex-sated for now, so we only wash and quickly get dressed. Still, he takes his time, rinsing the suds from my body. Towel-drying me. He bends and kisses my gently-rounded belly with a sort of reverence that makes my heart squeeze.
There’s a driver picking Mum up, and we’ll meet her downstairs in half an hour.
I’m shaking with nerves as the time draws near. Tully takes my hand.
“Your hands are freezing, lass. You feeling okay?” He looks at me with so much concern in his eyes, the wall I’ve constructed around my heart seems to melt a little.
“I am,” I say softly. “You?”
He kisses the fingers of my hand. “Never been better.”
Mary enters the library, smiling.
“I heard the news. Congratulations!”
I stifle a groan. “How did you hear? Tully, you said Keenan wouldn’t tell anyone!”
He frowns. “I’m sure he didn’t.”
Mary looks at the two of us in confusion. “Keenan? It was Tiernan who told me.”
“Tiernan knows!”
Mary blinks. “I should think so. He’s a teacher at the school, isn’t he?”
“Aye, but I don’t know why that would have anything to do with me being pregnant!”
She stares at me, open-mouthed. “You’re pregnant?”
“Oh, dear,” Tully mutters.
I stifle a groan. “Aye. What were you talking about then?”
She giggles. “That you were made teacher of the month, of course. Faidha was telling everyone at breakfast. But being pregnant! My goodness, that’s a bigger deal, isn’t it?”
I sigh, when the door opens and one of the staff enters. “Your guest is here.”
“Please Mary,” I whisper. “You don’t know what we just talked about.”
She makes a motion of pretending to zip her lips, then gives me a nod.
I smile. I like her.
I’ve warned her what to expect of Mum. It seemed to give her only momentary pause, and soon she was eager to move past whatever might be awkward, for the sake of meeting her.
Mum comes in, scowling, and I wince. She looks even worse than she did before, with her hair all a tangle and her clothes wrinkled. She carries an umbrella in one hand, though it’s bright and sunny out, and a large, ancient handbag in the other.
I rise and go to greet her. “Hey there, Mum.”
She swivels her gaze to me, glaring. “McKenna. You should know better than to get in with the likes of the McCarthys.”
I sigh.
Tully, God bless that man, ignores her biting remark and gives her his most charming grin. “Welcome, Mrs. Byrne. Can I take your coat?”
She shrugs out wordlessly, and for one brief moment, smiles. “Hello there. If it isn’t the young man you were with the other day.” She frowns. “I’m guessing you’re a McCarthy, too?”
“I do belong to the Clan,” he says. “Though I assure you, we aren’t all the monsters you think us to be.”
She sniffs. “Didn’t think you’re monsters, but I definitely don’t want my daughters involved with anyone like their stepfather.”
Tully grins. “I think we can arrange that. Now, we have someone here to meet you, of course.”
Mary gets to her feet nervously, as my mum’s eyes come to rest on her.
“Ahhh,” she says softly, shaking her head. “It’s you.”
Mary extends her hand. “So nice to meet you. My name is Mary.”
My mum eyes her hand warily, then finally takes it. “Nice to meet you, too, Mary.” For one brief moment, my mum looks as if she doesn’t battle those demons in her mind, as if she’s forgiven me for ever agreeing to being with the McCarthy Clan. As if things are actually alright with her.
I try to keep up the chatter, but it’s difficult with Mum. We’ll begin a sentence, and moments later she says things like, “Of course they have crystal chandeliers,” and “Do their women really never have to work another day in their lives?”
“It’s not quite like that,” I tell her. “While all their needs are met, they don’t have to worry about paying their bills. But quite a few of them still do have jobs, absolutely.” I don’t know why I’m defending them. Don’t I want to leave myself?
Mum nods, still frowning. “I was told the same thing.”
And that gives me pause. “What were you told?”
“That my needs would be met. Now look at the home I live in.”
She has a point. I’ll have to ask Tully about that.
Tully changes the subject expertly, getting Mary to open up about her childhood and upbringing. Mary conveniently doesn’t mention she knows the men of the north.
“And I was told that Father Finn would know my birth mum,” Mary says warmly, with a sad, watery smile. “And I… I’m so pleased to meet you.”
For one brief moment in time, it’s as if my mom’s years of mental illness have been erased. She hugs Mary. She hugs me.
“My girls,” she says softly. “My girls.”
“We’ll have to get you to come out more often, then.”
“You’re welcome anytime,” Tully says magnanimously. “Anytime.”
She’s enamored with Tully, no question. “Well,” she says with a sniff. “If all the men of the Clan were as nice as this one…”
His twinkling eyes meet mine.
“If only,” I say, giggling to myself, because I don’t know if I’d call Tully “nice.” Powerful? Aye. Handsome? No question. Loyal, devoted, fierce?
Absolutely.
But nice?
She finally gets ready to leave, with promises of returning sometime soon.
“We’ll have you brought home,” Tully says, his hand on my lower back as he bids her good-bye.
“Thank you,” she mutters, but as she turns to go, she swivels around and looks to me. Her eyes are a bit wild, as if she’s held herself back for the purpose of our meeting but she’s returning to her former self now. “Don’t trust them, McKenna,” she says, loud enough for Tully to hear. “Don’t give up everything to become one of them.”
I’m struggling enough with the thought of being claimed, that her admonition brings up my own fears. Then she’s gone, and I’m left alone with Tully and Mary.
“You don’t look so good,” Mary says with concern. “Maybe you need to go lie down, McKenna?”
Tully frowns and puts his hand to my forehead. “I’ll bring you to bed.”
The next thing I know, I’m in his arms and he’s heading for the doorway.
“My God, I can walk, Tully. Put me down!”
“Oh, aye, you can walk,” he says softly, so only I can hear. “But the question is, will you be able to sit?”
I roll my eyes. “You’re just looki
ng for an excuse to smack my arse.”
He grins. “Always.”
But still, he doesn’t put me down until we get to the elevator, and then it’s only with the greatest reluctance.
I have to admit, it feels a little nice, though. Having his protection and concern. The way he tucks me into bed when we get back upstairs, and orders strong, hot tea laced with lemon and honey, more of the crackers Maeve gave me, and a piping hot bowl of soup that tastes deliciously satisfying.
The next day, I get ready for school quietly while Tully does the same. His phone rings before we go.
“Keenan?”
He’s standing in front of the mirror, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. I walk in front of him and take over. He gives me a wink, making my heart flutter. I like taking care of him.
His face clouds over as he’s talking, a common enough occurrence that I don’t think much of it. I know by now that the work they do is, at times, ruthless and violent. He’s come home at night visibly bruised and bloodied. He’s answered Keenan and Cormac’s calls and left in the middle of the night. He’s had hushed conversations in the dining room. He doesn’t share anything with me, though, and although I wish I knew a bit more, a part of me’s relieved to be ignorant as well.
“Will do,” he says, then he hangs up the phone and shoves it in his pocket. I bend and kiss the corner of his lips, where they turn downward in a frown.
“Everything alright?”
He smiles, wraps his hands around my waist, and draws me to him. “No,” he says simply. “But they will be. Honestly, Keenan would prefer I stay home today, but I can’t do that.”
“Now, Tully, you know I’ve strong protection at St. Albert’s. You don’t have to be there every second of every day.” Tiernan’s there, and in recent weeks, Boner and Lachlan have come as well. They’re supposedly helping Tiernan teach the boys some of the more complicated fighting moves, but I’ve heard things here and there that tell me that’s only an excuse, really. There’s something else brewing.
“Not happening, McKenna. I won’t leave you unattended.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m hardly unattended, Tully.” There are guards outside the classes and guards in every hall.
“Enough. This conversation is over.”
Of course. When he decides something, there’s no room for compromise.
“Now, lass, none of that long face and pout you get when I’m firm about something,” he says, reaching for my chin so my gaze meets his eyes.
“I’m not pouting,” I say, pouting.
“You are. You want to be brave and you don’t like to have the protection of the Clan. Well, you are brave, and don’t you forget that, not for a minute.”
I sigh. I definitely don’t feel brave.
“You think any woman could carry a future member of the McCarthy Clan?” His eyes twinkle and his tone of voice teases, but his words stir up something disturbing in me.
My child. A future member…of the McCarthy Clan?
“What if it’s a girl?”
He blinks. “A girl?”
“Aye,” I say angrily. “As in the other sex?”
“Now, McKenna, don’t get your knickers all up in a wad. Of course it could be a girl, and I’d love her just the same as I would a son.”
“Would you, though? If you couldn’t train her in your ways?”
He captures my face between his hands, his brows drawing together. “I absolutely would. No matter who that child is, that child is mine, and I’d devote myself as the father a child deserves. No matter what.” He bends and kisses me so deeply, I come up on my toes. I sigh.
Then he takes me by the elbow, spins me around, and cracks his palm across my backside.
“Hey! Ow!”
“Behave yourself.”
I feel my cheeks flame. “Hard to behave myself when you’re always turning me on.” I don’t know how to explain how it makes me feel sort of little and softer when he gets all heavy-handed with me.
He grabs my arse cheek in his big, strong hand, and gives me a rough squeeze. I mutter under my breath, and he only narrows his eyes and shakes his head.
Classes go off without a hitch until midday. I’m tired, more so than ever now that I’m pregnant.
“Hungry, love?” Tully asks.
I wrinkle my nose. “Not for pasta and garlic, thank you.” I’ve smelled the scent of the kitchen crew cooking garlic and tomatoes all day long.
“How do you know that’s what they’re serving?”
“I can smell it all the way here, can’t you?” Nausea rolls through me. I normally love the school pasta dishes, as they’re very well done.
He chuckles. “I think only someone who was part dog could smell the school lunch all the way here in the classroom with the windows shut.”
“Or a pregnant woman with heightened senses.”
He winks at me and takes my hand.
“I’ll get you something else, then.”
“I actually packed a lunch from home today. Do you mind eating in here, though? I’m afraid I won’t make it through lunch if I have to smell the garlic.”
“Of course, love.”
He may be bossy and dominant as fuck when it comes to safety and Clan rules, but he’s pretty easygoing when it comes to most everything else. I like that about him.
He gets my lunch bag from my desk, as I put out bottles of water and napkins. My mouth waters when he removes the wrapped turkey sandwiches the staff packed for me this morning. I feel damn near spoiled eating the good, handmade food they’ve made. Hearty turkey sandwiches, slices of tangy cheese, ripe apples, and a thermos of the piping hot soup I’ve come to crave.
We tuck in quietly, and he makes a few comments on the lessons I taught that day, when something catches my eye outside the window.
“What is it?” he asks, not missing a thing.
“Hmm. Not sure,” I say, sipping my water. “Everyone else should be at the hall eating lunch, no?”
“Aye.”
Even most teachers join the rest of the school for lunch in the main hall. It’s rare that anyone stays back.
“And I thought you told me that Malachy insisted the boys be the ones who do the landscaping here at the school?”
“Aye,” he says. “Damn good idea, too. The boys take pride now that they’re the ones who maintain the property.”
“Then why is there a landscaping truck out there?”
Tully’s on his feet, at the window. He stands to the side so the shadow of the bushes outside the window hide him. “Good question,” he mutters, pulling out his phone. He swipes his fingers across the phone.
“Hey there, Malachy. Did you hire landscapers? Aye, that’s what I thought. Thanks.”
He hangs up the phone, his body tensing with the anger I’ve come to recognize that always precedes something violent and aggressive. An interrogation. A mission from Keenan. He reaches inside his vest, tugging a handgun out of its holster.
“Tully… what is it?”
“Malachy didn’t hire them,” he mutters. “I’d bet a thousand quid it’s a set-up.”
My blood runs cold. “What do you mean?”
“It means you’re going into the cloakroom with the door fucking locked until I come to get you.”
“I bloody well am not,” I say. “And leave my students in danger?”
He spins to look at me, pointing his gun to the floor. “You bloody well will. Your students are not your highest priority right now.” He jerks his chin at my belly. “Our baby is.”
How do you argue with that?
Panic suddenly sweeps through me. “What if you…” I can’t even bring myself to say it.
He crosses the room to me, bends, and brushes his lips across mine. “I’ll come back.”
“You’re not fucking invincible, Tully, honest to God!”
“I know it, lass,” he whispers in my ear, surprisingly tender despite the anger I can feel standing right next to him. “But I have a woman
and baby to take care of now.”
* * *
Chapter 13
Tully
I hate leaving her. I fucking hate it. I feel as if I leave her with no protection, even though I know we’ve armed guards at every fucking doorway.
I speak to the guard, one of our youngest recruits, as I exit the building. They earn rank by obeying the men of the Clan and keeping us safe, their only job vigilance and surveillance.
I get the attention of one of the nearby guards. “No one comes in or out of that door.”
His eyes widen, and he nods, his hand already on a weapon.
I text Tiernan and Lachlan
Outside dining hall. Landscapers present without Malachy’s permission. Foul play.
Lachlan responds right away.
On my way.
Tiernan, however, doesn’t respond.
I see Lachlan up ahead, his large frame dwarfing the exit to the dining hall and send him a quick text to tell him where I am. A moment later, he’s joined me on the side of the school, his hands shoved in his pockets to make him appear nonchalant. Anyone who knows him would recognize the tension in his shoulders and the laser focus of his eyes. He’s anything but nonchalant.
The truck opens, and two men in uniforms exit. One has a lawnmower, the other a seeder, and for a moment, they look harmless.
“Man on the right’s packing a semi,” Lachlan says under his breath so only I hear him. “Man on the left’s got explosives in there.”
Fucking brilliant catch.
We’ve no choice but to attack.
“Fucking hell, Tiernan hasn’t responded. We need the bloody protection of the Clan,” Lach mutters.
“We can handle these two.” I’ve handled more than this singlehandedly. “I’ll interrogate. The goal is to incapacitate and bring them back for interrogation.”
“Aye.”
I step out of the bushes into broad daylight, and one of the men looks up.
“Hello,” he says with a smile. For some reason, he looks vaguely familiar, but I can’t place him.
“What’s the story? Doing work for the school, then?” The friendly banter will only last seconds. I look up to see Tiernan and Faidha exit the dining hall. He looks at me in surprise. He hasn’t seen the text.
