by Henry, Jane
“They have a guard. I try to keep things at an even keel, Tully, you know that. I can’t very well lock them up, can I?”
It’s fucking tempting.
I blow out a breath and run my hands through my hair. “Suppose not. But I didn’t let her go.”
“Didn’t you? I swear I just saw her leaving.”
What?
I open the door to find the living room empty. “McKenna?”
She isn’t here.
Fuck.
“I have to go,” I tell Keenan.
“Did she leave without your permission?”
“She fucking did. I have to go.”
I hang up the phone and call her, but it immediately goes to voicemail. Bloody hell.
“Help! Someone help! Keenan, anybody!” My body stills when I hear the sound of someone shouting from outside my room. It isn’t McKenna’s voice, though.
I race to the top of the stairs to find Megan standing in the middle of the foyer. Her wide, terrified eyes meet mine, as Lachlan and Keenan come running from various parts of the house. It’s unlike her to be dramatic.
“What is it, Megan? Didn’t you go with the girls?” Keenan asks.
She shakes her head. “Changed my mind and decided to stay home, but just now I got a text from Fiona.”
Lachlan’s body goes rigid. “Fiona? What is it?”
“Says she tried to call you, couldn’t get through to your phone, Lachlan.”
He scowls, taking his phone out of his pocket. “Christ, I was in the basement a few minutes ago. What’d Fiona say?”
She swallows hard. “Said they’re being followed, and there’s no guard.”
Keenan curses. “Bloody hell, where’s their guard?”
“Said they had one and they’re gone now.”
Lachlan’s already pushing open the front door.
“Wait, Lach.” Thankfully, he looks up at me when I call. “Listen, brother. You know we can’t just run off like that. We need to come up with a plan.”
Lachlan glares. “Where’s McKenna, then, Tully?”
“I have no bloody idea.”
Keenan’s cursing and pacing, trying to ring their guard.
“Call Fiona back,” he snaps at Megan. With trembling fingers, she dials.
“Fiona, where are you?”
She’s blocking her ear so she can focus and relay the message to us.
“They’re at D’Agostino’s,” she says. The Italian restaurant in the city center. “They think they lost their tail.”
Keenan nods. “Find out where—”
We all freeze at the sound of Fiona’s scream on the other end of the phone, and Lachlan looks stricken.
“Fiona? Fiona!”
Megan looks up at us. “Line went dead.”
We’re close enough we could walk to D’Agostino’s if we had to. I’d go with them, but I don’t know if McKenna went with them or not.
Keenan looks to Lachlan. “I’ll go with you, Lach. Tully, you hold things down here.”
“Wait!” It suddenly occurs to me. “Don’t go so fast. I know we need to go to them and be sure they’re safe, but it could be a set-up, Keenan. We need to be prepared.”
“Set up for bloody what?”
“A fucking ambush.”
He nods and curses, because he knows I’m right.
McKenna. I have to find McKenna. She’s not with the others. Where is she?
Lachlan removes a gun from his holster and checks it. “Keenan and I will end anyone who’s gotten within ten feet of our women. You watch things here, Tully.”
Keenan nods. “I’ll call Cormac and Carson to keep vigil here.”
They go, and I wish I were with them. Instead, I feel like I’m guarding a fortress, just waiting for an attack at any moment.
I go back into the house, my heart in my fucking throat. I wish I had an enemy to fight, someone to defend. I’m so much better at using my fists than dealing with my heart.
Where did she go? I know she was hurt, I know she was bloody broken from what happened. I can’t understand how it all impacts… us.
Did she think I’d only claim her because she was the mother of my child? Does she fear that she has nothing to offer me now that there’s no baby that ties us together?
I stand at the top of the stairs and look out the large bay windows in the front of the house.
“McKenna,” I whisper to myself. “Where have you gone?”
Clouds roll in, and I look to the left and right. I can see the steeple of Holy Family, the rugged cliffs that overlook the sea. I’m supposed to be watching for any signs of an enemy or an attack, but I’m looking for McKenna.
I want her. I bloody need her.
The women and children have been safely tucked away. Some of my brothers have gone to the entrance to the house, and the others have gone into town to protect the girls that were attacked.
McKenna wasn’t with them, and it only reminds me how grateful I am she wasn’t. I didn’t allow her because I wanted to keep her safe. But now where is she?
Maybe I’ve been too harsh. Maybe I’ve been insensitive, forcing her to stay with me when maybe she needed the presence of other women. I know it weighs on her, having seen her mother wed to a man of the Clan. Does she blame her mother’s troubles on that?
Mother of God, I’ve fucked up.
I shake my head and turn to go, when a shadow by the cliffs catches my eye. I look again. Is it my imagination, or does the slender figure by the water walk with a limp?
I stand up straighter. Jesus. I can’t see her face, but I know it’s her. It has to be.
I call her mobile, but she doesn’t answer.
I was ordered by Keenan to stay here, to make sure the women and children here are safe. Why the bloody hell did McKenna choose now to be reckless? I go to call Keenan, but he doesn’t answer. Lachlan doesn’t pick up either.
Jesus.
I’m not allowed to defy an order from my Chief, and I hate the thought of anyone coming here, of anyone harming the women and children I’ve been ordered to protect. But Jesus, what about McKenna?
Clouds roll in, and the sky instantly darkens. The white caps rage against the blue-green of the Irish Sea, and the wind howls outside the window.
I’ll alert the guards. I’ll find McKenna. I have to.
* * *
McKenna
I watch as the waves increase in tempo and intensity. I’m all the way up by the cliffs, and yet even from here I can feel the splatter of saltwater on the cliffs below. I stare out at the depths of the sea, and imagine who lives on the other side. I imagine another woman, just like me, standing on the cliffs of the west coast of England. Staring at the sea like I am.
Does she feel the pain of loss keenly, like I do? I rest my palm flat on my belly and close my eyes.
I’ve experienced loss in my life before. When I was just a child, I suffered an injury in an automobile accident so severe, I was told I’d never walk again. But I’m too stubborn for such proclamations. I defied what the doctors told me I would do. I pushed myself out of my bed before I was allowed. I ignored their protests. And I fucking walked again.
It’s likely not safe for me up here, to be honest. The rocks are wedged loosely, a path worn from the McCarthy mansion to the very tips of the cliffs that overhang the sea. I imagine many of them come here. Between the church and the sea, they visit the confessional. Receive two types of absolution. One, from above. One from the earth.
With my unsure footing, I could loosen a rock and tumble. And still, I walk closer to the edge. So close, the very tips of my shoes hang over the edge. A brisk wind picks up, and I shiver, drawing my cardigan tighter around me. I like knowing I stand on the edge of something fatal. There’s something about the danger that excites me.
Is that what attracts me to Tully?
I smile sadly to myself.
I don’t belong with a man like him. Do I belong anywhere? If I don’t go back to the McCarthys… where
will I go?
My home seems empty now. So empty.
Just like me.
A lump rises in my throat, as I imagine my life when I walk away from here.
Will he follow me? I’ll have to tell him no. I’ll have to force him to stay away. We don’t share a baby anymore, so what is there that joins us together?
I look down to the sea below, watching as the tide comes in. Waves lap at the sandy shore, dragging rocks and shells back along with it. The beach is private, accessed only by the McCarthys, but I can get there from here.
I look back at the house. Does he know I’m here? Why do I want him to follow me?
I know I don’t belong with him. I’m a strong woman who doesn’t need a man to fulfill her. I’m strong and independent. And there’s no shame in being alone.
I look up at the sky, surprised at how quickly it’s darkened. Angry charcoal-gray clouds obscure the sun, moving in so fast, I wonder if it’s a mistake to go to the beach. But something propels me to go. I must. If I stay here by the cliffs, he’ll find me. He won’t let me go easily.
I need space and time, just like Sebastian said. Time to heal.
I lift my chin and draw in breath before I pull back my shoulders. I walk down the rocky steps that bring me to the beach below. A storm is coming, I can feel it in my bones and smell it in the air, but I welcome it.
The wind howls as I descend to the beach below.
* * *
Chapter 16
I walk quickly, but it isn’t fast enough. A storm’s rolling in. Doesn’t she know that? Doesn’t she know that a storm means possible lightning, definite rain, and danger? Christ, the woman’s so fucking headstrong.
As I walk past Maeve’s garden and look under the trellis, something glitters in the sunlight. I bend to pick it up. I hold it in my hand, frowning.
It’s a set of black rosary beads. Father Finn’s?
I shove it in my pocket, promising to myself I’ll call to return it, or pay him a visit.
At the gate, I turn to the guard. “I have to get someone,” I tell him. “Keenan wants us on total lockdown. No one comes in. Understand?”
“Aye, sir. Of course, sir.”
Keenan will understand. If that were Caitlin out there, he’d go, I know he would. And I’d never be able to live with myself if I didn’t go after her.
“McKenna!” I shout once I get beyond the iron gates. Of course, she doesn’t respond. Even if she were looking straight at me, she’d never hear me over the howling wind that’s kicked up.
I don’t see her now. I curse to myself. Where is she?
Christ.
“McKenna!” I scream, but my voice is almost instantly drowned in the wind. “McKenna!”
I should’ve been there more for her. I should’ve taken better care of her. I should’ve done something… fucking anything to keep her feeling safe and protected.
I pace along the cliffs, but she’s gone. I’ve walked here so many times, I know the way the path dips, the way the largest stone juts out beyond the edge, like the others. I know everything about these cliffs except what will bring me to McKenna.
“McKenna!” I scream.
I look to where the steps descend to the beach, but a large branch has fallen after a gust of wind. There’s no way she’s gone down there, anyway. The wind whips at my cheeks, nearly blinding me.
Where is she?
I shove my hands in my pockets and bow my head against the icy wind. My fingers touch something cold in my pocket. I draw out the rosary beads I found by the garden and shake my head.
Finn’s.
I take out my mobile and dial Father. “Pick up. Pick up…”
“Hello?”
“Father Finn. Tully here.”
There’s a pause and no response at first.
“Hello?”
“Who’s this again?”
It’s an odd response, and I feel myself tense.
“Tully, Father.” I’ve known him since I was a lad. He bloody knows who I am.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know who that is. Kindly call the office inside the parsonage tomorrow to see if they can help.” The phone goes dead.
What the bloody hell? Not know me? Of course he bloody knows me.
I stare for long moments at the phone, my nerves fraught, and dial again.
“Hello?”
“Father Finn,” I say, my anger rising. I try to keep myself calm. He’s either off his nut or something’s terribly wrong with him.
“Ah, yes,” he says in the same placid, calm tone. “So sorry, I don’t know you. Please go tomorrow to the office inside the parsonage to help you.” And he hangs up the phone.
Why would he pretend not to know me? It makes no fucking sense. He knows every one of us as if we were his very own children.
My phone rings again. Lachlan. “Hello?”
“Tully, we’ve got them. Caitlin and Fiona are fine, but it seems…” His voice shakes a little.
“What? What the bloody hell, Lach?”
“Mary was attacked.”
“Mary?”
Why Mary?
“They’re here, Tully. They’re coming for us. Alert the entire Clan and send everyone into lockdown.”
I stare at the iron gate as if someone will come in at any moment, but it stands tall and impenetrable.
“I’ll do that, Lachlan.”
I feel the weight of my gun in my hand, practically begging the universe to send me something, someone, anything to fucking shoot. Something to do.
“Lach, I called Father Finn just now.”
“Yes?”
“When I told him who I was, he said he didn’t know a Tully.”
Lachlan’s silent for a moment. “Did he?”
“Aye. What the hell’s up with that?”
“What else did he say?”
“Kept saying to go to the office inside the parsonage, and I’d get the help I needed.”
“No bloody idea.”
Christ.
“He said tomorrow… come tomorrow.”
The sky’s open, and torrents of rain fall, icy and cold. I shiver and bend, trying to block my mobile from getting wet.
Lachlan grunts. “No church office is open on Sunday, Tully.”
Realization dawns on me.
He isn’t alone.
“’Twas a code, then, wasn’t it?”
“Go find out, brother.”
Someone’s with Father Finn, and his clue was meant to warn me.
“Don’t leave until the mansion’s secured, mate.” I don’t tell him I already have.
“Aye.” I need to get to Father Finn, but the safety of all is paramount.
We hang up. I call the brotherhood to assemble and sound the warning. I tell one, then the other, and within moments, I can hear them approaching, the sounds of arrival drowned out with the torrent of rain and howling wind. Men come in on bikes, on foot, in cars, until nearly every brother I know’s arrived.
I need to find McKenna.
I grab Carson. “Stand guard. Watch the gate. There’s something afoul and we need to find out what it is.” I need to check on Father Finn. I finger his rosary beads in my pocket before I take off at a run.
I leave Cormac on the front lawn, surrounded by the brotherhood, as I walk the path to the Church. I shouldn’t go alone, I should have back up with me, but damned if there’s anyone who can come right now.
I look about me and swear I can feel her nearby, but she’s nowhere to be seen. Where the bloody hell is she?
I want to scream for her, yell her name until I’m hoarse, until she hears me and comes back to me. I hate that she’s apart from me. I hate that she could be in danger.
When I arrive at Holy Family, I realize my suspicion that something’s wrong at the church was right. The gate to the graveyard hangs askew, as if something or someone wrenched it open. I draw my gun and look to the left and right, when my phone buzzes with a text.
Lachlan. Heading to the bunke
r with the girls. Is everyone safe at home?
Aye. I left Carson and Cormac holding down the fort. I’m checking on Father Finn.
So many questions. So few answers.
I look to the parsonage and see one light on ahead of me, in a small sitting room to the right, overlooking the graveyard. Father Finn said go to the office beside the parsonage. Then it dawns on me.
There is no office beside the parsonage. There hasn’t been for a full decade, not since Seamus McCarthy was Clan leader and chief or even longer still than that. There’s a small anteroom where Father Finn keeps a date book, but little else.
I text Carson. Everything alright?
Aye, brother. Nothing yet.
Have you seen McKenna?
No.
Jesus.
Clouds overhead shift, sending a shaft of moonlight to the garden outside the parsonage, and there, under the beam, I see the glint of chrome. My blood runs cold.
Motorcycles, the very same I saw riding into Ballyhock that first night I took McKenna home. Why are they here?
I quietly creep up to the window in the garden, since it’s open. I can either get in, or spy and see if I can hear anything inside.
Voices. I freeze, listening carefully.
I hear Father Finn. A rough, deep voice, heavily laced with an accent of the north. And a softer, feminine voice. I close my eyes, concentrating hard.
Is that… Maeve?
I step on a ceramic statue and give myself a tiny bit of leverage so I can peer in the window.
Jesus.
Finn gave me a signal, alright. They’re here. All of them.
Five armed men stand sentry over Maeve and Father Finn, tied with rope to sturdy dining room chairs. They can’t see me from where I am in the shadows, but I can see them and hear them clearly. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Keenan would lose his bloody mind.
They wear leather cuts, and their voices are thick with accents I don’t recognize. They sound almost… forced?
I lean in closer to hear their words.
“We’ve come from the North to enact our revenge on the Clan.”
Maeve frowns, her eyes narrowed in anger. “That’s a lie.”
“Shut it, woman,” the man growls, stepping closer to her. “Or I’ll shut it for you.”
