Aunt Maureen gave me that lopsided smile of hers. “You drive a hard bargain, sugar. Six dollars it is, if you go do it right now.”
“Go on,” Mama said. “Your aunt can finish that onion.”
I walked until I was out of the kitchen, then ran to the laundry room. I opened the dryer, dumped all the clothes into a basket, and sneaked back toward the kitchen. I set the basket on the floor outside the kitchen door and gently lifted out a shirt and folded it as I listened. This was a whole lot better than listening to just Mama’s side of the phone conversations like before.
“I said yes, Cass. I’m going out with Derek again, and I might add, that boy is just wild about me. And his friend is taking out…” I didn’t hear anything, so I peeked around the corner. She circled in the air with her pointer finger, then stopped when it was pointed straight at Mama. “You.”
Mama shook her head as she stirred the gravy. I pulled back into the shadows so they wouldn’t see me.
“Maureen, you didn’t tell me you’d invited them to dinner last week. We knew Derek from school but I’m not going out with his friend.”
“You’ve already been out with him.”
“No, that’s not how I see it at all. He sat at the table we did. That’s all. I am not dating him. And you! You’re not even legally separated from Sonny.”
“Au contraire. I’d say that, considering Sonny is in Georgia and I’m in Indiana, that’s about as separate as you can get.”
“You know what I mean,” Mama said. “You’re still married.”
“Yes, and I was still married when Sonny left me for weeks on end for his stupid job.”
“Maureen, I know you. I know you’re just hurting. If you give yourself some time, you’ll see that you’re still in love with Sonny. I think you’re in pain now and dating Derek is salve for the wound. You need to really think about this. I’m afraid you’ll get hurt.”
“Hurt more than I am now? Hurt more than I am that Sonny won’t even try to find another job so he’s around more? And what about you? You are divorced, Cass. You should be having the time of your life right now. When I came here, I thought it would be like the old days, you and me partying and having fun. I’ve sat around doing nothing for so long. Here you are, single and pretty. We should be tearing up dance floors.”
I could hear them moving around, pots clanging, spoons clinking against dishes. Then Aunt Maureen said, “Cass, remember? You were all broken up about your divorce from Travis.”
Travis, if you’ll remember, was my real dad’s name. I stopped folding and angled for a glimpse into the kitchen so I could see them. Mama had that pained look she always got when she heard Travis’s name. I learned a long time ago not to ask questions about him.
“And I took you out for a night on the town,” Aunt Maureen continued.
“Maureen, don’t.”
She went on like she hadn’t heard. “We went to hear that new band that everyone was raving about. And the lead singer? You took one look at him, Cass, and you were lost.”
Mama straightened from the stove. “I was young and vulnerable.”
Aunt Maureen laughed that deep laugh. “You were lost, right then and there. You took one look at Jack Henry’s long dark hair hanging over his smoky blue eyes and you were a puddle. Cass, you were so much in love that you absolutely glowed. Don’t you want to feel that kind of excitement again?”
“Look where it got me, Maureen. Instead of being a divorced, single mother of one child, now I’ve got two divorces behind me and I’m a single mother of two. I have a job and the burden of this big house to keep up. The last thing I need is for some player to bring ‘excitement’ into my life.”
“What do you have against excitement?” Aunt Maureen asked.
“Forest fires are exciting, too, Maureen. But all they do is burn down trees.”
Then they both were quiet. I picked up the laundry basket and took it to Mama’s room to finish folding. I thought about what Aunt Maureen had said. I remembered how Mama was when she was with Jack Henry. She loved cooking for him and taking care of the house. It sure didn’t seem to be a burden to her back then. I remembered the time Jack Henry forgot Mama’s birthday and she cried. The very next night, I heard sounds downstairs and tiptoed to the staircase. There I saw a birthday cake with candles lit and Mama and Jack Henry were dancing while he sang to her. Mama sure “glowed” that night, all right.
“There she is,” JJ said as he came into the room, Caleb trailing along behind. “Hey, Ivy! We were looking for you. Whatcha doin’?”
“Fishing.” I sighed. “I’m folding clothes, what does it look like I’m doing?”
“Yeah, you’re fishing!” He picked up a sock and shook it to look like a wiggling fish. Caleb smiled at him, then JJ dropped the sock and rolled on the bed, laughing at himself.
“Stop it, JJ!” I said. “Why don’t you help me?”
“’Cause it’s more fun to do this.” He jumped into the middle of the stack of folded laundry.
“JJ!” I yelled. “That is not funny!”
He looked crestfallen. “I was trying to make you smile. You act so sad, Ivy. Just like Mama. Why is everybody always so sad around here?”
“I am not sad!” I restacked Aunt Maureen’s clothes. Caleb reached to help and I gave him a look that would wilt lettuce. “And Mama’s not sad.”
“Uh-huh!” JJ said. “I heard her cry at night.”
I stopped messing with the clothes and sat down, all thoughts of Caleb gone. JJ’s room was beside Mama’s. Mine was down the hall. “You did? When?”
“After Daddy left.”
“But not since Aunt Maureen came, right? I mean, you don’t hear her cry now, do you?”
“No, Aunt Maureen makes her laugh, but you’ve looked sad since Aunt Maureen came.”
I didn’t know what to say to that when suddenly JJ cried out, “If Daddy would just come back, everybody would be happy again!” He pushed over the stack of clothes one more time before running out of the room.
“Where did that come from?” I must have said the words, although I really was just thinking to myself.
“He’s young. He doesn’t remember much about his father. He thinks life was perfect as long as his dad was here so he blames anything upsetting or different on that.”
“He told you that?” I asked.
“I listen.” Caleb shrugged. “Sometimes it’s in the things he says, sometimes it’s what he does.”
“Yeah, well, you didn’t come here until after Mama was divorced. I mean, sure, some things were nicer before. Mama didn’t have to work and there was more money. But Jack Henry didn’t pay much attention to JJ or me. And he only paid attention to Mama when it was convenient. It’s crazy if JJ thinks life was perfect then.”
“It’s normal. JJ is young enough to believe in magic. If he believes one rabbit delivers baskets to all children Easter morning, then he could believe in anything he wants, true or not,” Caleb said. “Everyone wants something.”
I’d never thought about it like that. I started to say that very thing to Caleb but he looked so sad. Instead I asked, “What do you want, Caleb?”
At first he didn’t answer. Then, in a voice so low I could barely hear it, he said, “My parents.”
16
I went to school on Monday determined to ignore Ellen. I sat with Lindsay on the bus, and as soon as I could get a word in edgewise, I asked her to eat lunch with me. I wanted to stay busy at lunch so I wouldn’t be staring at Alexa’s table.
“We sat at the same table all last week,” she said. “Why the special invitation?”
“Oh! No reason.” Had I really been so tuned in to what Ellen was doing that I didn’t even realize Lindsay was there all along? It made me feel bad, so I paid extra attention to Lindsay on the ride to school.
And I did do a better job of ignoring Ellen, so much that it wasn’t until lunch that I noticed she wasn’t sitting with Alexa’s group.
“Have you
seen Ellen?” I asked Lindsay.
“She didn’t come today.” Lindsay frowned. “I told you that when we sat down. Weren’t you listening?”
So much for thinking I was doing a great job of ignoring Ellen. Instead, I’d ignored Lindsay. To make up for it, I said, “I was wondering if you’d like to go to the next football game with me.”
“Sure!” she said.
That afternoon, when we reached our bus stop, Lindsay stood to let me leave. “So, we’re on for the football game, right?”
“Right. Sounds good!” I called on my way out, and realized that I really meant it.
JJ ran into the house first, straight for the kitchen. Aunt Maureen peeled the paper off an ice cream sandwich and handed it to JJ. He ran outside just as the phone rang.
“Oh! Good, I’ve been waiting on that pastor to call all day.” She punched the phone.
“Hello? Sonny! I wasn’t expecting you.” Her voice dropped. “Please don’t do this to me. You want me to come back but it would be to an empty house. You say you’ll look for another job but you’ve said that before. The next thing I know, you’ll be back on the road.”
She made me feel sorry for Uncle Sonny. I should have given her privacy but I also wanted to hear what she said, so I quietly opened an ice cream sandwich for myself and listened.
“Sonny, you’ve got to get over me.” Aunt Maureen dabbed at her eyes. I knew she was crying but I’ll bet Uncle Sonny didn’t because her voice didn’t show it.
“There’s something you should know. I have a date Saturday night.”
I couldn’t hear what Uncle Sonny said, but whatever it was, it wasn’t enough to make Aunt Maureen go back home.
“Please stop. I love you but we don’t work anymore. I have to go now. Goodbye.”
She had just clicked off when the phone rang again.
“I just can’t take any more.” She took a deep breath, then looked at the caller ID. “Oh, thank goodness. It’s not Sonny. It’s the pastor.”
She said hello and walked down the hall. I couldn’t imagine what she wanted Pastor Harold for so I was glad when she came back into the room, still talking.
“Well, you seemed eager enough to help Cass out earlier, without her even asking, I might add.”
She listened and said, “Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well, you just go on about your business then and don’t worry that a member of your flock needs your help.”
She shut the phone off and muttered, “That man!”
“What is it?” I asked. Mama would have shooed me away but Aunt Maureen didn’t seem to worry about hiding things the way Mama did.
“I told that preacher your mama and I have dates Saturday night and asked him to sit for you guys again.”
I glared at her as she said, “I promised your mama I’d find someone and every single person on her list of sitters is busy that night. I thought that preacher would come over, but no, he has plans. I guess I’ll just have to keep looking.”
And there she went again, acting like JJ was her responsibility, not mine.
“JJ is my brother,” I said. “I took care of him before you came. You shouldn’t be asking people to take care of him. It’s my job!”
She folded her arms and leaned back.
“So, Miss Ivy, it would appear I’ve stepped on your toes somehow.”
“Just because you happened to call one night when things were a little crazy around here doesn’t mean I wanted you to take over,” I said. “I never asked you to come!”
She picked lint off her sweater, like my words hadn’t bothered her one tiny bit, but I could see the hurt in her eyes. Trouble was, I was plenty hurt myself.
“Well, I guess I wasn’t asked, at that,” she said.
She got up and put the dishes in the sink. “You know what, Ivy? Today hasn’t been easy. I think I’ll get a manicure and try to relax and you can have that time with JJ that you want. Be sure and have dinner ready by the time your mama gets home, okay?”
Then she grabbed her purse and left. I hadn’t counted on having to cook but maybe Mama would bring home some food. If not, I’d find something. I could take care of my family. I wanted to and Aunt Maureen could just go on her dates, get manicures, and whatever else she wanted to do. That was just fine with me.
* * *
I woke up on Saturday morning to the sound of the phone ringing and then Mama scurrying around. I didn’t have to go too far down the hall to hear her tell Aunt Maureen, “I’ll do the best I can but Magdalena gave me a job when no one else would. If she’s shorthanded and needs me today, then I have no choice.”
“Are you sure you didn’t cook this up to try to get out of our dates tonight?” Aunt Maureen asked.
“Your date, Maureen. I’m just going along to keep you from doing anything foolish.”
“Derek is bringing along his friend for you!” Aunt Maureen called through the bathroom door after Mama closed it.
“That’s his problem!” Mama shouted back.
“Don’t mess this up for me, Cass,” Aunt Maureen said in a stern voice. Then it softened. “Please.”
The bathroom door flew open and Mama buttoned the top button of her blouse as she hurried down the stairs with Aunt Maureen on her tail.
“I said I’d go, so I’ll go. I just might be running a little late. You did find a sitter, right? Because I won’t go that far away from my children without one.”
“Yes, I did. The manicurist recommended a girl that she uses and she was available.”
“What’s her name?”
“Jada Wilson. She’s a freshman and her parents are dentists.”
It was bad enough having Aunt Maureen taking over with JJ. I wasn’t going to sit there and have some girl not much older than me watching my brother. It was time I took charge again. I didn’t know Jada but it wasn’t hard finding her number. The phone book listed Drs. Wilson and Wilson under dentists, with their residence beneath their office. I wrote it down and stuffed the slip of paper into my pocket to use when it was almost time for Mama and Aunt Maureen to leave. By then it would be too late for them to do anything about it.
* * *
Later that day, when Aunt Maureen was trying on dresses and it was almost time for Mama to come home, I grabbed the phone from the hall, took it into my room, and closed the door. I pulled out the number and dialed.
“Hello?”
Putting on my best “mother” voice, I said, “May I speak to Jada?”
“Jada is in the shower. This is her mother. Would you like me to have her call you?”
“No,” I said. “This is Cass Henry. I’m afraid we won’t need Jada to babysit tonight after all. Our plans have changed. We’ve heard good things about her, though. We’ll call again soon.”
I said my goodbyes and then called Lindsay.
“Hey!” she said. “Want to hang out?”
“Well, not right now but I need a favor. I can call out on our phone but I’m not sure people are able to call in. Will you hang up and try to call me?”
“Sure!” she said. We hung up. A moment later the phone rang. I made sure I picked it up before anyone else could.
“I guess it’s working now. Thanks, Lindsay!”
“Sure! Too bad you can’t hang out. I’ll bet my mom would take us to a movie.”
I hesitated for a minute. I mean, not that I could go to a movie tonight, even if I wanted to. But I wondered: when was the last time Ellen sounded so happy to hear from me?
“I can’t, Lindsay,” I said. “But I truly wish I could.” And that’s the funny part. I really did.
I said goodbye and then remembered why I’d called her in the first place. “Aunt Maureen? That call was from Jada Wilson,” I lied. “She said she’d be a little late tonight but not to worry.”
Aunt Maureen stepped out of Mama’s bedroom where she was getting ready. “Did she say how long she’d be?”
“No, just that you shouldn’t hold up your plans. She promised she’d only be a few minutes lat
e.”
I turned to go back into my room and saw JJ, his head tilted, looking at me funny. I felt a twinge of guilt. Did he know what I’d just done? I shrugged it off. How could he? I hopped on my bed, scooted Aunt Maureen’s iPod Shuffle aside, and popped my favorite CD in my old player, feeling good about being back in charge.
Mama got home “just in the nick of time” according to Aunt Maureen, who whisked her into the bathroom, where she already had the shower running.
I warmed up the fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and peas that Mama brought from Dining Divinely.
“Peas? Blech! I’d rather eat mud cookies!” JJ said.
“Mud cookies?!” I said.
“Caleb told me about them. People in Haiti eat mud!”
I took a deep breath and counted to ten. I’d won JJ back from Aunt Maureen but I still had Caleb to deal with. To get his mind on something else, I said, “We’re going to have fun tonight, JJ. Maybe we’ll watch a movie together and eat popcorn.”
“Where are Mama and Aunt Maureen going?”
“Out dancing, I guess,” I said.
“Because it’s Saturday night, right?” He bit into a chicken leg. “People always go to music places on Saturday night!”
“Well, not all people,” I said.
“But some do. Mama is. It’s a musical night! Right, Caleb?”
Caleb smiled. “I suppose any night could be a musical one.”
“But Saturday night is when Daddy used to be gone all night playing. It’s the best musical night.” He hopped from his chair, wiped his mouth, and ran off to play.
* * *
I had just finished washing the silverware and Caleb was gathering the garbage when Mama and Aunt Maureen came downstairs. Mama looked just as pretty as the last time, but she didn’t look at all happy about going.
She walked over to me and put one hand on each side of my face. “Sugar, are you positive you’re going to be all right until the babysitter gets here? Maybe we should wait until then.”
“Mama! You’re treating me like a baby. She said she’d be here soon and lots of girls my age babysit. We’ll be fine.”
Ivy in the Shadows Page 12
