by Nina Walker
As I moved across the marble floor, I felt immense gratitude for the moment. I counted my blessings that no one had dared touch me after my performance at the Royal Ballet. Thanks to that oversight, I’d still been wearing my pointe shoes upon arriving here. I didn’t need the costume to dance, of course, but I was happy I at least had some shoes. They wouldn’t last long. Pointe shoes never did. But I had them for now. I plopped to the floor to slip them on and lace them up.
The empty ballroom was all hard shiny surfaces. The white floors were polished like ice, but they were not too slippery for dancing. The walls were a beautiful well-oiled mahogany, dripping with antique tapestries. But nothing was as stunning as the gorgeous crystal chandelier that hung from the ceiling.
For some reason, the guards didn’t follow Eliza and me in here. I was reluctant to admit that Lucas probably had something to do with that.
As I danced, I imagined a simple melody. Eliza stood at the far end of the room, peering out the back window. Even though I had told her she could leave, she had insisted on staying with me in case I needed anything.
“Are you trying to give me space or something?” I laughed, dancing over to her at the far end of the room. She paled, shaking her head. She was young and petite, like a mouse. Too young to be working here. But her smile was sweet, and her innocence reminded me of Lacey.
“It’s okay.” I laughed. “You can watch. Or not. I don’t mind. Like I said, you don’t have to stay.”
“Do you want me to leave, miss?”
“You can call me Jessa. And no, you’re welcome to stay. But I don’t know why you would want to sit around and wait for me. Unless you’re supposed to?”
Eliza blushed.
“Are you supposed to be spying on me or something?”
“I’m sorry, miss.” She couldn’t even look me in the eye. “I sort of am. But I promise I won’t tell them anything that could get you in trouble. I’m supposed to stay with you today. We can do whatever you want. Are you mad?”
Who was she working for? Lucas? Faulk? The king? But given the frightened look on her face, I decided not to push her. I liked Eliza. I didn’t think she was out to get me. If she’d been appointed by someone to spy on me, she most likely didn’t have a say. And being forced into something doesn’t breed loyalty. I should know. “I believe you. And I’m not mad.”
She let out a sigh of relief and smiled back.
“How long have you worked here?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t prying too much. But I was curious about this young girl who was working her tail off instead of attending school. I didn’t know people did that. I always thought all capital citizens lived the same way; taken care of, educated, assigned into the perfect job for their qualifications.
“Two years.”
“How old are you?”
“I’m almost sixteen.” She’d been working since she was thirteen?
“What about school?” I blanched.
“I home-school in the evenings. They have it all digitized. This way, I can work full-time.”
I gaped at her. How was that fair when my teen years had been spent going to normal school and dancing all afternoon?
“I know what you’re thinking. But I have to support my mother and little sisters. I’m all they have. My mother…she’s very sick. She can’t work. And my father…he died three years ago. That’s when I applied for work-study.”
“I’m so sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t know work-study was a thing.
“It’s not so bad. I like this job.”
“Well, couldn’t an alchemist heal your mother? I mean, I’ve seen it in action. It’s pretty remarkable!”
“I don’t know.” She paled. “I am forbidden to ask anything of the alchemists that I serve. Please don’t say anything.”
“Forbidden? That’s ridiculous. I’ll ask Jasmine for you.”
“No!” Eliza nearly jumped. I’d never seen her so anxious before. “I could lose my job. Please just…forget it.”
I wanted to argue, but what could I say? I was fuming inside at the thought that she couldn’t ask for help. Alchemists were right at her fingertips! If the GC weren’t healing people like Eliza’s mother, then what were they doing?
“What would you be doing if you weren’t with me?”
“Probably cleaning somewhere. Maybe working in the laundry facility.” She stared sheepishly at her hands.
“We can’t have that! You’re not going anywhere,” I said, happy I could give her some time off from her duties. She responded with a laugh that was so sweet, it was contagious. It broke the fury that had been building in my chest and I couldn’t help but laugh with her.
“Take a seat. I always did like an audience.”
I pranced to the center of the room, deciding to start with an old piece from a few years back. I closed my eyes and allowed every note to echo through my mind. The ballet was fun and fanciful, full of quick jumps and turns. I let my mind and body relax. Soon, the dancing slowed, and I began to move in my own way, taking each step as it came to me. I simply allowed my heart to guide my body, which felt incredibly freeing.
A deep sense of peace washed through every inch of me. I couldn’t help but feel like everything was going to work out. There must be a way to find myself again, I mused. Because right then, I felt like that girl. The one with a life that revolved around ballet and family. The one who had lived with total trust in her world. How could I love something so much and not be meant to do it? It just couldn’t be possible. Closing my eyes, the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders, and I was myself again. I wrapped my arms around myself in a soothing embrace. Dance was everything. It was all of me.
I was instantly rocketed back to my reality. The shrill sound filled every inch of the large room. The horrified, ear-splitting, gut-wrenching scream of pain was undeniable. I reached out, looking for the source. And then I saw her, Eliza. And I saw all the blood. Her blood. Everywhere.
What have I done? The color shattered my vision, and then it was gone. The blackness took its place.
When my eyes popped open, I sat up too quickly, causing a rush to blur my vision. I hurried to look around the room. I was in a hospital bed. Actually, no, this was still the palace. The view from the window was too familiar. It was the palace infirmary.
I lay back in a bed and put my hand to my head. Looking at my reflection in the metallic surface next to me, my face was ghostly white. Aside from a few small cuts, I looked healthy enough. I tried to sit again, but the fog returned when I did. So I relaxed. Why am I here?
And then the memory returned to me. It was Eliza. I had hurt her. Maybe even killed her. I hadn’t realized the power that had been building inside me during my dance. I thought bitterly of all those years of ballet without incident, and now it seemed that would never be the case again. And Eliza had gotten hurt in the process. Did I use alchemy again? I should have known better. I did know better. What kind of person was I? This had to stop.
Lucas strode into the room, concern drawn all over his face. “How are you feeling?”
I didn’t answer.
“It was an accident. You couldn’t have known.”
I lifted my hand to wipe an angry tear. I didn’t want to cry in front of Lucas. But I couldn’t help it. I had done something unthinkable.
“Is Eliza dead?” I feared I already knew the answer. “I don’t know what happened. We went to an empty ballroom. I was just dancing. That’s all. I wanted to give her a break, so I invited her to stay and watch. Then, suddenly, she was screaming and there was glass everywhere. I saw it all. Then the…the…the…”
Lucas already knew what happened. I had accidentally used alchemy with such force that it caused the chandelier to fall. Somehow, it didn’t land on top of me as it should have. No. It flew across the room, right at Eliza. I wouldn’t have believed that was possible if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. I was so lucky she wasn’t killed on contact. But there had been so much destru
ction. And I’d passed out before I could help her.
I looked down at my clothing, looking for the source of color. But I’d been redressed in a gray hospital gown.
“What color were you wearing?” he asked.
“Orange t-shirt. Black leggings,” I said. “Can orange do that? Move things? But…but it was so large. How is that even possible?”
“It can, given the strength of the alchemist. Maybe you should start dressing in black like the others. There’s plenty in your closet.”
“And what about Eliza?”
“They’re doing everything they can. So far, it’s touch and go. But there’s still a chance…”
“Can I do anything to help?” I asked. But the look on his face said there wasn’t anything I’d be helpful for. I didn’t know how to control my abilities.
“I sent Jasmine. She’s one of the best healers we have.”
“I didn’t mean it. I swear. I would never hurt someone.”
Predictably, General Faulk burst into the room, furious.
“You’re a danger to yourself and others,” she barked at me.
I wish I could disagree with her. But she’s right.
Turning on Lucas, she added, “And you should have known better than to let her dance like that.”
In his defense, he hadn’t known I was going to dance. Why couldn’t I have gone to the library instead?
“I’m so sorry. I had no idea this would happen,” I said.
“Only time will tell if that girl will survive,” Faulk replied, folding her arms. “This is exactly why you should have come forward sooner with your abilities, Jessa. Can you image if this had happened at the Royal Ballet? You could have inadvertently thrown a theatre light at the crowd. Or what if it had happened in your home and your family got in the way? They were in danger for years with you under their roof. I warned you that you were a ticking time bomb.”
I didn’t try to defend myself. I knew I was broken. I couldn’t cry anymore. There was nothing left for me to say. Faulk was right.
“If it were up to me, you would be back in solitary confinement until you got control. But fortunately for you, you’re a rare breed. We’ve never seen anyone develop so much power this quickly. The king wants to keep you around, despite the danger. As you already know, we need you to access red alchemy.”
Maybe I should have been relieved, but at the mention of the king, I could only be nervous. I didn’t know if I’d be able to access red. And if I did, what if it was dangerous?
“Despite today’s unfortunate events, you two are still required to attend the ball together tonight. It’s a direct order from the king. Don’t be late. And Jessa, for everyone’s sake, wear black.” She gave us both one glance before leaving the room.
“No,” I insisted to Lucas. “I can’t go. I could hurt someone.”
“I won’t let that happen.”
“You can’t control it any better than I can. I’m better off in solitary confinement. Faulk is right.”
“It’s not up to you.”
“I can’t be here. I can’t do this. You have to help me.”
“Help you do what? Lock yourself up? I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I’ve been around a lot of color alchemists in my time, but no one asks to be put away. Who would want that?”
“I do. Please, talk to your father. Tell him it’s the right decision.”
I understood something about myself in that moment. I would rather spend the rest of my life alone than harm another human being. What had happened today had been horrifying. I couldn’t be that monster.
“It’s a noble idea, maybe,” Lucas said. “But it’s also a waste of talent. And anyway, Richard would never let you go so easily. Jessa, don’t you get it? If you don’t cooperate, he’ll use force. He’ll do whatever it takes to get what he wants.”
“Then help me stop it. Help me bury the alchemy so deep it never comes back again.” Then I could forget this ever happened and go home.
“You know I can’t do that.”
“You have no idea what it’s like to feel the way I feel right now. Your life is perfect, and yet you find little things to complain about. Ways to feel like you don’t belong. Well, that’s all in your head. This—” I pointed to a larger cut on my hand. “This is real. This is my life. You can either help me or you can get out of my way.”
My own words stung. Was this who I was now?
“I’ll get out of your way.” Without another word, he left the room.
Breathing deeply, I pushed the emotions back down, deep inside. Accident or not, I didn’t want to cause another person to get hurt.
I placed my bare feet on the cool floor and stood. I pulled the short cotton gown tightly around myself and tentatively walked out of the small room. I found myself in a hallway lined with pristine beds. Palace guards stood at attention. I needed to get out of here. If I could break out, maybe I could hide. Maybe I wouldn’t hurt anyone if I wasn’t forced to be around alchemy all the time. But I knew it was no use. As I padded down the hallway, the guards followed behind. They didn’t say anything, but it was obvious. If I tried to get away from this awful place, they’d lock me back up.
What was I supposed to do now? Without thinking, I instinctively knew where I needed to go.
Eliza was barely recognizable. I expected to find blood, but that was mostly cleaned away. It was her face that startled me. It was swollen, bruised purple, yellow, and deep blue. Besides that, she was pale from all the blood loss. Too pale.
I choked back a sob, biting my clenched fist. This was my fault.
“Step back.” A nurse appeared.
Suddenly, I became aware of the others in the room. I’d been so narrowed in on Eliza that I’d failed to notice the four people staring at me. One appeared to be the doctor, two nurses, and one I recognized. Jasmine.
“It’s okay,” Jasmine said. “Nothing will happen again while I’m here.”
Are the staff afraid of me, too? I didn’t blame them. I was afraid of myself.
“Do you remember that I am a healer?” Jasmine asked.
“Yes,” I said, focusing on my teacher. She was a healer. But all the same, I felt helpless.
Jasmine smiled and motioned me closer to Eliza. “We have many ways of connecting with the colors, but the most powerful is through accessing other living things.” She held up her hand, in which she was holding a small potted plant. “So I am using my own life force, with the life force of this little plant here to support me. The green energy is healing. It knows where it’s needed.” She looked back to Eliza and closed her eyes, wrapping her fingers around the green leaves. At first, nothing happened. Was I missing something?
Slowly, little green wisps of light began to float from the small plant. They grew, multiplying by the second, and moved toward Eliza. The moment they reached her skin, it happened. Her complexion began to return to a normal flesh color. The green light washed over her, somehow penetrating her every pore. It was incredible. Unlike anything I could have imagined. Powerful. Beautiful. And somehow, orderly.
Then it stopped and Jasmine smiled at me. “Neat, isn’t it?”
I didn’t know what to say. The plant, so small and delicate, had almost returned to normal. Only one leaf had turned a milky gray, and Eliza looked exceptionally better than she had only minutes ago. Remarkable.
“How?” I asked.
“Honestly, I don’t exactly know how. I just know that I have to touch the plant. And then I have to imagine where the color will go.” Jasmine stood from her chair and put the plant on the bedside table. Next to the shiny medical instruments, it looked out of place. How could it have more healing power than all those medical instruments? I still couldn’t wrap my mind around it.
“But I do know that color alchemy from living things is the only way I have ever been able to heal anyone. Very few alchemists can use man-made items. It doesn’t take much. I usually carry a plant of some kind everywhere I go. Have you also noticed them
in the palace?” Jasmine asked.
Actually, now that she mentioned it, I had.
“Green is the color of healing, vitality, and longevity. It’s the easiest of the colors for me draw upon with my alchemy. The live plants make the green much more powerful. I set my intention. And the color seems to know exactly what to do.”
Looking at Eliza, I saw what Jasmine meant. Eliza’s eyes were still closed, but her face was her own again. Calm and peaceful. There was no hint of what she’d been through. She was in a content, deep sleep.
“She’s going to be okay?” I asked, hopeful.
“Yes. We caught it in time.”
In time? So she still could have died. I could have killed her. I almost had.
“Jessa, color alchemy is a gift. There is no need to be afraid. This is who you are. In time, you’ll learn to control it. You’ll do many amazing things.”
I hadn’t allowed my thoughts to go that far. To imagine what I could do, who I could be. If I did get to that point, I still wanted it to be on my terms. I wanted my family back. I wanted to dance. Was this possible for me? So far, I’d only seemed to be able to hurt people. Not help them.
Something about that thought reminded of my conversation with Eliza. Maybe there was something I could do for her.
“Eliza’s mother is very sick. Could you heal her?” I asked.
“We have to be careful about where and how we use our powers. But yes, I would love to help. Do you know what’s wrong?”
“No, just that it’s been going on for years.” Could I hope that this would make things better between Eliza and me?
Jasmine frowned. “I’m sorry, Jessa, but I can’t heal chronic conditions. I can only treat wounds, pain…this kind of thing here. But I can’t change something that’s been an ongoing problem. Some things are fated, it seems.”
“But what you just did—it was so powerful.”
“We need to finish cleaning her up,” the nurse said, interrupting us. “Time to go.”
