by Nina Walker
I chose the gift.
The officer was coated in blood. His hazel eyes fluttered as I sent a pulse of magic into him. “Thank you,” he croaked.
We finished up in our area. I scanned the room, sighing. It looked like everyone else had been tended to. So with the small bit of relief we allowed ourselves, we moved back toward the front of the room. The shock began to wear off as the reality finally set in. Deep into my bones.
We lost. The Resistance had lost.
“That was horrible,” I whispered, sitting down at what was left of our table. Flowers were scattered about, dishes lying in shards, and everything was covered with splatters of blood.
Lucas reached out and squeezed my hand, before releasing it. “It’s over now,” he said.
Something tickled my ankle, then grabbed. I jumped! I almost let out a yelp, but I saw whose hand was attached to my leg. I sunk to my knees. Everything came into focus as I stared at the man before me.
“Dad?” I breathed out, shocked. Then I wrapped my arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder. I couldn’t help it. “It’s really you. What are you doing here?” The pain of missing him had dulled over the last few weeks, but now that he was here, it ignited, waking me up.
“I need you to help me get us out of here,” he whispered.
Of course! He couldn’t be here. I didn’t mention that I would be staying.
We looked around, it seemed nobody had noticed us. Lucas sat still, staring down at us. His eyes were wide. A horrified expression had crossed his features, and he clutched his stomach.
“I’ll help you.” The words came out like a promise. But how was I going to help? The room was swarming with alchemists and officers. “Hide under that part of the table.” There was a bit that was still standing, toppled to one side and covered by the tablecloth. It was plenty big enough. He nodded, and I stood.
I met Lucas’s eyes. “You have to get him out of here.”
He knew what I was talking about. His frown deepened, but he nodded imperceptibly. He needed to use white alchemy. If he went under the table where no one could see, he could make himself invisible and make my father invisible too. He could get him out. It was dangerous, but this was my dad.
We stared at each other, Lucas and I. He was thinking too much, I could tell. But so was I. My father was not trained. He should never have been here. The Resistance shouldn’t have allowed it. How could they? They’d promised to keep my parents safe, and then they went and did this!
“Please,” I whispered to Lucas. You love me. I know you love me. Do this for me.
Lucas glanced around the room. The king was still making the rounds on the other side. No one was looking at us.
“You can do it,” I said, my voice low, and reached for one of the white lilies strewn across the floor. “You’ve done it before. You can do it with this, Lucas.” I handed him the flower. “You’re more powerful than you give yourself credit for. No one will know. It will be fine.”
He nodded again. “Okay.”
He shifted, about to go under the white tablecloth with my father. No one would notice. I had to believe it. Someone patted me on the back.
“That was impressive,” Richard said.
A rush of hatred covered me from head to toe. How had he gotten over here so fast?
Moments ago, he was on the other side of the room, and now he was standing inches away from my father. My father, the man he had pretended to have in custody. The man who was officially part of the Resistance. The man who had raised me. The man who had left the kingdom!
“Thank you?” I questioned. Everything that just happened was horrific.
“You’re one of us now.”
“Father, not right now,” Lucas said, his body stiff.
Richard laughed. “So fickle. One minute you’re begging me to call off your engagement with Celia to be with this alchemist, and the next you act like nothing is going on.”
I glanced between the two men.
“I don’t understand.” I turned to Lucas. A small voice of doubt sounded in my mind. Something is off. “What’s he talking about?”
Lucas only shook his head. “We’ll talk about it later.”
“Is your engagement to Celia called off?”
“It wasn’t,” Richard said. “But I keep my word. Lucas did what he was supposed to do, so I’ll hold up my end and reconsider.”
“Reconsider what?” My voice cracked.
“Reconsider you, my dear.” He frowned. “Not the brightest, are you? I was always very clear with my son that he wasn’t to get involved with an alchemist, let alone marry one. But I suppose, under the right circumstances, with the right woman, I could allow it.”
I still didn’t understand. What was happening?
“There’s someone under this table,” an officer said. In horror, I turned to find the hazel-eyed man I’d helped just minutes ago. Those eyes were fully awake now. He lifted up the tablecloth and pointed to my father.
“No!” I cried. “Don’t hurt him.”
“Who’s this?” Richard ripped the tablecloth away. The remainder of the centerpiece and dishes flew in an arc. A clattering of broken pieces rang out, followed by a moment of silence.
“Please don’t hurt him,” I begged. “None of this is his fault.”
Faulk appeared. I hadn’t seen her in a while, and she strode up as if she had conquered the world, all confidence and pride. She sneered down at my father. He still hadn’t said anything. His hands were up, but his eyes were trained on me. They never broke from me.
“That’s Jessa’s father,” Faulk confirmed, flicking her wrist at him.
Richard laughed. “Are you brazen enough to think you could come back here?” But he got no reply from my father.
“Jessa.” Dad’s gaze held steady on mine. “No matter what happens to me, I love you. Do you understand? I love you. You are stronger than you know.”
I had no words. I reached out to grab him, but someone restrained me.
“Get off me!” I screamed, clawing at the hands. The same officer whose life I’d saved with magic. I looked to Lucas. He would help me, wouldn’t he?
“Traitor,” Faulk spat at Dad. “We ought to execute him right now.”
“Please, think it through, we can’t just kill him,” Lucas said, his voice somehow calm. “He’s Jessa’s father.”
“Yes,” Richard said. “You make a good point, son. As Jessa’s father, he makes great leverage, doesn’t he? Not to mention he could be full of valuable information about that disgusting Resistance.”
I struggled against my captor. “Please.”
“Don’t you worry, my dear,” Richard said. “We’ll only put him back where he came from.” He winked.
I couldn’t say anything to that. It was a test. I wasn’t supposed to know that my father had ever gone away from the kingdom. I was supposed to believe he’d been in holding this whole time. So I just nodded. I felt he wanted me to thank him or something. But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t! In prison, my father would not be treated well. And to use him as leverage against me? Now that Richard knew what I was capable of, he could use my father to get me to hurt more people.
I was so tired. I was so sad. And shocked. I needed to either puke all over Richard or claw his eyes out!
But mostly, it was anger running through me.
When was I ever going to get away from this awful king? When was I ever going to get to live a life on my own terms? And how in the world had the Resistance attack ended so badly?
It was almost as if Richard had known it was going to happen…
“Take them away,” Richard said.
They yanked my father up. He didn’t protest as they led him away. He was too smart for that. He couldn’t win, everyone knew that. But in that moment, watching them take him away from me, I vowed to find a way to free him. To free all of us.
No one knew what to do with themselves the next day. Classes were canceled. The infirmary was filled wi
th officers and waitstaff, sleeping off the last of their injuries. But with enough alchemists helping out already, they didn’t need me.
I didn’t know what to do.
Mostly, I stayed holed up in my room, trying to sort out the details of the previous day. I couldn’t piece it together. It seemed that Richard knew Jasmine was a spy. How? Or he’d at least suspected as much and then used my ability to find out the truth. That seemed more likely. But I still wasn’t sure. I felt her loss like I was missing a limb. I kept looking for her, expecting her to be there, and she wasn’t.
She was gone.
And those friends I thought I had? Every alchemist I’d come in contact with since that night avoided me. They were afraid. I could see it in their eyes, the way they shifted gazes when I looked at them, and then shifted back to me when I looked away.
They were afraid of the red alchemy.
They were afraid to be the next Jasmine.
They were terrified I would somehow do something to make them suffer at the hands of the royal family. And I didn’t blame them. I’d proved what was possible, so they should be afraid. I was dangerous. Lethal. As much as I hated it, it was true. Red alchemy destroyed lives.
I was alone in this burden. But at least I had Lucas. I got up and wandered around the palace, looking for him. He would know what to do. Except, I couldn’t seem to find him. I didn’t dare go to the royal wing, but I went to our greenhouse, to the gardens outside, and I looked for him in all the usual places. He was nowhere. I even went down to the kitchens and asked the staff if they’d seen him. Nothing.
I finally retreated back to my bedroom. That small dorm room was my safe haven. Even though it wasn’t actually that safe, I could pretend. I would avoid the truth—that I was sleeping in the belly of the beast. In the most dangerous place of all. With the most dangerous people.
And I was one of them.
Another invitation greeted me when I walked in the door to my room. I shuffled around the small space, eyeing it suspiciously.
Really, again?
Someone had slid it under the door, like all the ones before it. I should be getting used to this by now. But I wasn’t ready for another party, or dinner, or dance, or execution, or whatever the hell this was going to be. I just wanted a night off.
Please join the royal family in their private quarters for dinner. Formal dress. 7 P.M.
A wave of nervous tension rolled over my body. I wanted to see Lucas, but Richard was the last person I wanted to spend another dinner with. Last night’s had seriously scarred me for life. And he was holding my father prisoner because of it. Jasmine and many others were dead because of it.
What would this one do?
But I did as I was told. I styled my curly hair on top of my head, pinning it into my best version of an up-do. Then I zipped myself into a gold velvety gown I had yet to wear. It clung in all the right places, and I groaned, tired of being on display. I fixed my makeup and slipped my feet into nude pumps.
“Doesn’t she look regal?” Richard purred as I entered the elegant dining room.
Lucas and his father stood upon my entrance. They were as handsome as ever. It was just the three of us. Okay, I guess this really is an intimate dinner. And it made my stomach curl.
“Thank you,” I said, my voice flat. I hated this man. I hated what he had done to me. And I hated most of all what he would do to my father. What he was doing! But he had all the power at the moment, so once again, I had to smile and pretend like I was the leader of his personal fan club.
“Please, join us.” He motioned for me to sit next to his son. His son, whom he had forbidden from me. Okay, this is weird.
“I’m dreadfully sorry about last night,” Richard continued. “Horrific business, isn’t it? But sometimes what must be done must be done.”
I nodded. My neck felt stiff, and I rubbed at it, pressing hard.
“Father,” Lucas said, his face blushing. “Why don’t we talk about something else?”
Lucas rarely blushed. I eyed him, once again getting the feeling that something wasn’t right. Why was he blushing?
“Of course. Where are my manners?”
Good question, Your Royal Highness!
We talked about the weather. The upcoming holiday. The war, though that was mostly Richard’s doing. We talked about anything we could besides what was really on everyone’s minds: the night previous and all that it meant for us.
I pushed the food around my plate, hardly able to eat despite the warm texture of the potatoes and the juicy flavor of the seared steak. I’d grown used to the decadence of palace food. The novelty was growing old. I longed for a simple meal of pasta and vegetables, or even bread with cheese would suffice. The type of food I used to eat regularly with my family.
“I hear congratulations are in order.” Richard turned his charm on and pointed it right at me. His eyes twinkled, but they’d never lost that calculating shine. I was beyond the point of ever caring what this man thought of me.
“Congratulations on what?” It was possible he was talking about joining the guardians, but I doubted it. He’d already congratulated me on that multiple times. This was something more.
“Your engagement.” Richard smiled. He took a sip of his wine, studying me.
“What are you talking about?” I sputtered, sucking in a sharp breath.
He knew about me and Lucas? There was no one else. But everything between Lucas and I wasn’t official. No, it was a secret. He had to figure out how to end it with Celia first. He had to convince his father…
“Yes, Lucas told me all about it. Your…love.”
I turned on Lucas, incredulous. He paled and reached out to grab my hand. “It’s okay,” he whispered into my ear. “He’s okay with it.” I breathed in and out, but the oxygen just wasn’t filling my lungs fast enough.
“I thought we mentioned this last night?” Richard asked. “Oh, but last night was all such a blur, wasn’t it? Well, in any event, I’ve decided to be supportive of the union. I think you’ll make a wonderful queen, certainly an asset to our kingdom.”
What. Is. Happening? A ringing sensation began to sound in my ears.
“I’m sorry.” I shook my head. “I don’t understand. Lucas is engaged to Celia. Isn’t he?” I stared down at our clasped hands. Mine didn’t look right in his anymore.
“I’m afraid not,” Richard sighed. “Of course, we had to keep that appearance up last night. I just had to make sure Lucas would hold up his end of the deal. That he was telling the truth. Of course, you understand.”
Lucas squeezed my hand again. I ripped it away.
“No, I don’t understand.” The room began to spin.
“When Lucas came to me offering information about the Resistance’s little assassination attempt in exchange for your hand, it was a deal too good to pass up.”
The whole world crashed. My heart sputtered, then stopped. I gasped, and I also couldn’t breathe. I stared at Lucas, taking in every inch of him. I needed an explanation. This couldn’t be. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. They were dark. Regretful. And also…hopeful. No!
I tore my gaze away and doubled over.
“Anything for love, isn’t that right?” Richard laughed. “It turned out my son had heard a thing or two around the palace and had caught wind of the timing of that little attack last night. So, it was the perfect opportunity for me to end the Resistance, as they called themselves. Such poor souls. They never stood a chance. I really don’t know what they were thinking, teaming up with West America like that. No matter. They’re gone now.”
I sat frozen. Numb.
“Well,” Richard said, patting his mouth with his napkin. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.” Then he met my gaze, winked, and stood. “If you need me, I’ll be with the officers. We have quite a bit of planning to do. Not to mention, interrogations to continue.”
He left.
We sat in silence.
“I’m sorry,” Lucas fi
nally said, his voice scratchy. “I never meant for it to get that far out of hand.”
“How could you?” I whispered, anger clawing at my throat. “I trusted you.” And that was what hurt the most.
Lucas turned on me then, gripping my hands again. “I love you. I was desperate. My wedding was only months away, and I had to be with you. I never expected that many people to show up. I had no idea your father would come.”
“But you knew he was with them. You knew there might’ve been a chance!”
“No. He shouldn’t have been there. He wasn’t trained. It was stupid of me to do it, I know. I’m so sorry. I just thought that I would help my father get the upper hand in one attack. And I used that as a bargaining chip for you and me to be together.”
“And then what?”
“Then we would figure it out. I would figure out how to fix everything, but we’d be together. And that’s all that matters, right? That we’re together now.”
Nausea bubbled in my stomach. “No, that is not all that matters.”
“Don’t you love me? I did this for you, Jessa.”
“Our love killed twenty people last night. Our love killed Jasmine! Our love is disgusting. I can’t love you anymore. It’s poison.” I shot up so fast my chair crashed to the floor.
“Please Jessa.” Lucas stood, his tone accusatory. “You’re being unfair.”
Betrayal ripped through me. Unfair? He had a lot of nerve talking to me about unfair. He had ruined everything!
“Don’t you trust me? I’m telling you the truth,” he continued. But I knew there was nothing he could say to fix this. “I’d have never done it if I’d known it would’ve ended like that. I didn’t know they were going to send in all those people. I didn’t know that was going to happen.”
“But you did it. You still did it!” The words exploded from my mouth. “You betrayed my trust. Everything I told you, you took it to your dad.”
“No! Not everything!”
“You said enough,” I said. “Enough for Jasmine to be dead.”
“I never mentioned her.”
Lies…
“Enough for others to have died, in vain. Enough for my father to be in prison. Probably under interrogation right now. Probably being tortured!”
