“Why,” Judas continued, “if I possessed such power, I would use it to save us all from wars, from poverty, and from suffering. I wouldn’t let such power go to waste. You said so yourself, idleness leads to death.”
“Like what I'm doing now?” Arcana said. “You see my choice to hide the power as a waste. But understanding why or when is not my duty. Using that power to fulfil my own goals is not my duty either. It is forbidden for us to use this knowledge for ourselves. We can channel a bit of its power, but not its entirety.”
“So what you’re saying is,” Judas said, “even if I agree to your Blood Oath, and even if I possess this knowledge, I still wouldn’t be able to use it anyway?” All the trouble that Arcana was going through because of it, and it didn’t benefit her in any way. Who would want such strong power, and yet not be able to use it at all?
“Then I cannot be the person for you to pass it to,” Judas said. “Because once I have it, I will seek to unite the pieces, and use the power to change the world. Even if I cannot use it myself, I will find someone who will.”
“If there is any truth to the existence of such power,” Judas said, “then I believe now is the time to use it. Because the world as I see it is already messed up. It may not be from a great threat, or a great evil, or something that would destroy the world, but the world is still messed up with us destroying ourselves.”
“The least I can do in exchange for saving my life,” Judas said, “is me being honest with you. I wouldn’t want to take that knowledge from you, without you knowing what I would do with it first.”
But Arcana’s reaction surprised Judas. She smiled. “The Ouroboros.”
“The what?” Judas said.
“The Ouroboros is the snake eating its own tail,” Arcana said. She raised a finger, and it began to glow. Then with it she drew the figure of the snake biting its own tail, and after she wrote it, it remained hanging in mid air for several seconds. “My mother once explained it to me this way: it is a symbol that represents us destroying ourselves. That seems to be the same thing that you see.”
“The ultimate enemy we stand against is the Ouroboros,” Arcana said. “But it is not really like any enemy we have faced before, because it’s really us. It’s in our human nature—as it is in the nature of the angels—to fight, to wage wars, and end up destroying the world we live in. We kill each other. We compete against each other for survival. The Ouroboros is this: the strong shall live and the weak shall die. It is barbarism, being uncivilized, and the degradation of humanity.”
“In our legends,” Arcana said, “The Ouroboros of the angels destroyed the First Heaven in a war led by the devil Lucifer. Now, the Ouroboros of humanity comes, the only problem is that we don’t know who will lead it. A human version of Lucifer perhaps. All we know is it has happened before, and it can happen again.”
Judas looked dumbfounded. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. He had heard those words before, though he couldn’t quite remember.
“It has happened before and it will happen again,” Judas said, quoting from his memory. “Nothing is new under the sun.” Who had said that to him? Or maybe he had read that somewhere.”
While he didn’t believe in everything else that Arcana said, he believed that the threat of the Ouroboros was real. He had seen it with his own eyes. True, he did not have a word for it before, but it was the same thing. It was the tendency of humans for self-destruction. For once, Arcana said something that made sense, something that the two of them could agree on.
“I am still willing to give the power to you,” Arcana said, “perhaps more so now that I understand how you think. And when the time comes to use it, then it will come. For generations, we have kept this secret. Who knows when the right time comes for it to be used? But whatever happens, the knowledge must survive and we must pass it on to the next generations. That is my first priority. I don’t care how you use that knowledge. Plus, if you accept it, I will teach you more about the Knowledge of the Universe.”
Still, Judas was not willing to go that far and put his life at more risk than it already was. It was not worth it, dying for a mere myth, no matter that Arcana believed it as truth.
“Judas, I know this is too much to ask,” Arcana said, there was a mix of desperation and urgency in her voice. “But I may not be here tomorrow. They may already catch us. Time is running out.” Judas understood how that felt. Time was always running out for him too.
“I’m not even sure if I believe any part of what you’re saying,” Judas said.
“Then,” Arcana said, “if I’m lying and if there’s no truth to what I say, what harm would it be if I passed on the knowledge to you? It’s just a story isn’t it?” But if there was truth to what she was saying, despite that being quite unlikely, then Judas was going to put himself in deeper trouble with other humans and jinns and angels chasing him. He was already in deep trouble with mere villagers chasing him, what more if creatures like that jinn added to his burdens too?
Giving up, Judas shrugged.
“Give me some time to think about it,” Judas said, evading the need for an immediate answer. There was no point turning Arcana down immediately, because she would just continue pressuring him. He would talk to her about this in a few days. But chances were, the answer would still be the same. He would not want such knowledge.
Arcana left it at that, and they camped for the night. Even though it was cold, they didn’t light a fire for fear that the jinn would find them.
“So now that I told you my story, I realize that you haven’t told me yours,” Arcana said. “How did you come to know this Master of yours?”
After the talk, Judas was not in the mood to share the long story. So he gave her the short version of it.
“I grew up with him,” Judas said. “Back in a time when I wasn’t called Judas Iscariot, The Betrayer. I was known as Judas Didymous Thomas. The Master, Joshua, he was my brother in law. We shared the same mother.”
Judas told Arcana of his Master’s powers, how before the Master had become a legend, the Master too was a child.
Growing up, the Master gave the family a lot of trouble. His strange powers made him aloof from other children. In one incident, at the touch of his hand, the young Master had caused people to dry up and almost die.
Their father, who was a perfectly normal father, had a lot of explaining to do after that, and after some scolding, the young Master brought the dead back to life. The young Master was not very popular where they grew up. As a result, the Master grew up aloof from other kids, except Judas.
Then there were those events that happened… But Judas decided not to share those to Arcana. There were things that were better left untold.
Judas continued explaning. “Eventually, the young Master matured into a great man,” Judas said. “Our father assigned me with the role of constantly reminding the Master not to cause any trouble. It’s quite ironic really, considering The Master is older than me. And it’s ironic that I call him The Master, when he’s my brother. But, that’s who he is.”
Judas briefly told Arcana of how the Master taught, and healed the sick, and fought against people who abused their power and oppressed the weak.
By the time Judas finished, he yawned.
Night passed, and by morning, Judas had decided how he would answer Arcana’s request. He would say no to her. He would have to.
He didn’t really believe Arcana’s story, for all he knew, it was all just myth, and it didn’t matter how Arcana seemed to take it seriously. And he didn’t like the concept of a jinn hunting for him.
“Arcana,” Judas started, drawing from the lines he had rehearsed in his mind. He did not want to hurt her, so he would do his best to explain things in as gentle a way as possible.
But just then, something moved in the bush.
Arcana drew her knife, ready to face the danger.
Chapter 3 – The Zohar
“It’s me,” Varak said. He looked fatigued, p
robably from being up all night so he could escape from the enemy.
“What happened?” Arcana said in a worried tone, there was blood on Varak’s side.
“I wasn’t able to kill the jinn but at least I was able to lose it from my trail,” Varak said. “I led it in a different direction. But we should keep moving.”
“Not before I tend to your wound,” Arcana said. At first, Varak protested because each moment they delayed meant their pursuers were getting closer, but Arcana won in the end.
“Avoid using your power for now or the jinn will find us,” Varak said.
“I have enough herbs here to help with the pain, and the bleeding has stopped anyway…” Then she froze. “Your wound is tainted. I can’t heal this without using the Zohar.” Although Varak’s wound by itself wasn’t fatal, the small red veins extending outward from it probably were.
“This is nothing,” Varak said, “I’ve gone through much worse. I can still hold for at least a couple of days. For now, we need to get as far away as we can and out of the jinn’s range. Those herbs will have to do.”
Arcana wasn’t happy about it, but she applied the herbs anyway. Varak led the way, keeping themselves in the woods for cover. Varak decided to take the long route, skipping the closest villages despite Arcana’s urging. Varak set a fast pace, but as the day wore on, Judas noticed Varak’s pace getting slower. The man was sweating profusely but he kept pushing them forward, until finally Arcana called for them to stop.
“Just a little more,” Varak said. But Arcana did not move from where she stood.
“Every step we take leads us away from the jinn’s range.” Varak insisted. “And it’s not just the jinn we should be worrying about.” Judas wondered what else they had to worry about.
“Any more and your body will give up on you,” Arcana said. “What use have I of a dead guardian?”
Varak’s eyes looked glazed, hazy, and unfocused.
“Very well,” Varak said, “we’ll camp here.” Judas had kept himself silent because Varak seemed to be in a worse state than Judas was, but deep inside he felt relieved because he too felt drained. Perhaps he had not recovered as much as he thought he did. And, besides, he had not eaten since… Since when?
He had forgotten how many days it had been. He regretted not eating what Arcana offered back in the village. It was a wonder he was still standing. What’s more, in their hurry to escape, they did not have the chance to pack supplies.
After scouring about, Arcana managed to identify some plants that were edible. They weren’t much in terms of taste, but they staved away his hunger.
“I hope you don't mind the food,” Arcana said.
“I've had worse,” Judas answered. Arcana raised her eyebrows, to which Judas responded. “Travelling the world without money, many times we were forced to beg for food. When there was work to be had, we ate well. But when there was no work, we ate whatever was offered.”
“How come you did not have any money?” Arcana said. “You're a teacher, and your Master is a great man.”
“My Master,” Judas explained, “he was a very rich man, being the son of a prominent Builder. However, he gave away all his wealth.”
“He gave away all his wealth?” Arcana said, shocked.
“To save those who were suffering,” Judas said.
Arcana was speechless.
“My Master refuses any money offered to him,” Judas said. “He heals the sick, but refuses payment. In the end, he owned nothing, but one set of clothes. A pair of sandals.”
“But that means you must also be rich,” Arcana said, “since you’re also the son of a prominent Builder?”
“Well,” Judas said, scratching his head, “I followed his example… I still bring money with me, but I never use it for myself. I always beg for food when I get hungry.”
The look of surprise on Arcana's face was priceless. “I don't understand.” Arcana said. “Why go to such lengths? To what end?”
“My Master explained it this way,” Judas said. “All money is unrighteous, and the only way it should be used is for food for the hungry, water for the thirsty, and clothing for the naked. Money should only be used for supporting the orphans, taking care of the widows, alms for the poor. In other words, the unrighteousness of money is cleansed if it is used to save a life. Otherwise, if money is used for selfishness, extravagance, excessive luxury… You add more unrighteousness to the existing unrighteousness.”
Varak grunted. “Any good money will do us now, it can't even heal this cursed wound.”
Arcana said. “We carry money, in order to survive. Is what we do then wrong?”
“My Master answered this way,” Judas said, “Money is a burden. If you stop relying on it you will find that the weight of the world becomes lighter. If you have to, use money to eat and to survive, because it is unlawful to kill yourself by starving yourself. But remember not to eat extravagantly, because if you always eat extravagantly, it will become a habit. It will become your addiction. You will begin to want more and more. Use money to help.”
“I can understand using money to help,” Arcana said, “but it doesn’t mean I have to deprive myself and those under my protection of the abundance of life.”
Judas didn’t respond. But Judas guessed that this was only fair. Judas did not belief in Arcana’s story, so why should Arcana believe in anything that he said?
Arcana didn't pursue the subject, but she appeared discontented with the last answer of Judas. Arcana had lived all her life in extravagance always relying on the gold of her forefathers, though not without hardships. It might be impossible for her to imagine a life that was different than how she lived now.
The night wore on, and they decided that Arcana would take first watch and Judas the second. The two agreed to let Varak rest as much as he could despite the man’s protests. The man needed as much rest as he could get.
Later into the night, Varak was shivering uncontrollably, but they did not start a fire.
“What about healing him through this power of yours?” Judas suggested. Judas wasn’t very fond of magic. Not that magic was entirely evil, but from what he had heard, many people were tempted to use that power for evil means. But even Arcana was hesitant.
“It will put us in greater danger,” Arcana said. “If the jinn finds us, Varak won't have the strength to protect us. I can hold off the jinn, but with Varak unable to move, it will lead to the same outcome.”
With nothing else, they wrapped Varak in their cloaks. Judas took off his clothing he could to help keep the man as warm as possible, so that he was left only with his loincloth. Then he put his hand above Varak's head, without touching the skin, and whispered a few words of blessing.
Every little thing would help.
“What are you trying to do?” Varak said, suspicious. Varak tried to struggle, but the blankets and clothes that wrapped him held him in place.
Judas finished reciting the words. There was no visible change in Varak though.
With barely anything to cover him, Judas felt cold. He began to shiver too, but not as much as Varak did, as Varak shivered violently even under all that cover.
Arcana tried to comfort Varak, then after a while, she moved over to Judas.
“Thank you,” Arcana said, touching a finger to the edge of her eye.
Judas nodded.
Now was the time to break the news to Arcana regarding his decision on the Blood Oath. Now was as good as any.
“Arcana,” Judas started, “I hate to say this but I won’t be able to carry the responsibility of your secret. I know the situation isn't good right now, and you’ve helped me a lot, but I have other responsibilities. I have a promise to keep.”
He still had to find Sky Jerusalem. He still had to meet The Master.
“I understand,” Arcana said quietly. She smiled, but Judas felt the weight of her disappointment behind it. “Don’t worry about it. You have to find Sky Jerusalem and reunite with your Master. I wish I could h
elp you, but I've never heard of Sky Jerusalem in all my studies. I’ve never encountered such a place in my journeys either.”
Judas sighed. There was no perfect solution for everything. And besides, he was already in a lot of trouble by himself. Any more problems and it would be putting one foot in his grave.
Judas headed off to sleep.
After a few hours, Arcana woke Judas for his watch so Judas could stand guard the rest of the night, in case there was any danger.
The night was relatively quiet, with a few birds here and there, crickets chirping, and leaves rustling. At the back of his mind, he thought he saw strange figures lurking in the woods. Shadows danced and played as the wind moved the tree branches. But when he looked at the shadows again, there was nothing.
If the jinn attacked, there was little he could do against it, except warn the others. He doubted if Varak still had the strength to fight. Arcana, despite her sorcery, didn’t seem to be of much use against the jinn.
The night wore on and gave way to daylight. Somehow, they had survived without any trouble.
But all of a sudden, just when Judas thought there was no danger, a deep, loud humming sound came from everywhere all at once. Judas dropped low to the ground, scanning the woods for the source of the sound, but there was nothing. Then he saw it. Whatever it was, was above them, and its scale was tremendous.
The sky darkened considerably, and when Judas peered, he thought he saw a faint shadow across the entire span of the skies, going to the horizon. He couldn’t be entirely sure as it didn’t look very solid, but that’s what it looked like. A faint shadow.
It stretched far and wide in all directions, as far as his eyes could see. Arcana was up on her knees, watching the sky alertly, her hand on her blade. As if that could do anything. Zohar or no Zohar, the thing above them was on a completely different scale, that not even the Zohar could do anything about it.
But just as suddenly as it appeared, the shadow vanished with a loud sound, a sound like a big boulder falling on water, ending with a loud noise like a waterfall. In mere seconds, even the sound faded. The silence that it left behind was deafening. Even the small animals all around them were hushed at the unnatural appearance. The entire forest was still, save for Arcana’s breathing and his own.
The Lost Book of Chaos: How to Divide the World (The Secret Wars of Angels 1) Page 6
