by A. K. Evans
“I know,” I mumbled. “I’m just afraid of hurting them. They’ve been so good to me and my brothers.”
“They’re your parents. They love you. I imagine it’s going to be difficult for them to hear, but I’m sure they’ll find a way to show you that what’s important to them is knowing that you’re healing now.”
I tipped my head back and looked up at Cruz. “Thank you for going with me. It means a lot that you’re not only going to meet the parents today, but that you’re willing to do that knowing what I’m going to deliver to them.”
Cruz pressed a kiss to my cheek before he responded, “With every day that goes by, I’m finding that there isn’t much I would say no to doing for you. Besides, in this situation, I’m thinking that it’s not me that has the difficult job.”
“I guess you’ve got a point there,” I agreed before I let out a sigh. “I think we should head out now so I can finally do this.”
“Kiss me first,” Cruz requested.
Looking at his beautiful face as I stood wrapped inside his arms, I couldn’t help myself from satisfying his wishes. I pressed up on my toes while he lowered his mouth to mine. After I kissed him, Cruz took me to my parents’ house.
On the way there, I found myself lost in my own thoughts. I was certain Cruz knew I needed the time to get my head together and he was more than happy to give that to me. My mind first took me to my phone call with Logan and those that followed when I set this up. I could tell immediately that he was surprised to hear from me since we had seen each other two days prior when I had my rescheduled meeting with him.
“Hey, sidekick, what’s going on? Is everything ok?” he asked.
“Yes, I’m fine. I just wanted to see if you had any free weekends coming up? I think I’d like to tell Mom and Dad about what happened and I’d really like for you to be there.”
He didn’t hesitate. “We’ve got a big race this weekend, but I’m free for the next three afterward. As long as it’s one of those, you tell me what time and I’m there.”
“Thanks, Logan. I’m going to call Luke next, see when he and Nikki are available, and then I’ll call Mom and Dad. I’ll let you know a time once I talk to everyone else.”
“Sounds good. How’s everything else going?”
“Everything else?”
He huffed, “With Cruz, Lex. I was hoping you would have brought it up when we met on Wednesday, but you never did. I know you’re grown up now and you’ve been through something terrible without my support, but I’m still your big brother and I care about you. I want to know that he’s treating you right.”
“It isn’t your fault I didn’t have your support, Logan. I know if I had told you years ago that you would have been there for me. And to answer your question about Cruz…yes, he’s treating me right. He’s precisely the kind of man I needed in my life.”
“Happy to hear that, sidekick. If that changes, you better call me.”
I laughed. “I don’t think you’ll need to worry about that happening.”
We disconnected and I called Luke. Just like Logan, he immediately stepped up to the plate to support me, insisting that he and Nikki would be there for me. So, I called my parents and told them I wanted to have a family get-together. I told my mom that I started dating someone and I wanted them to meet him. Since I didn’t want them panicking or upset from then until we got together, I figured it was best to leave it at them meeting Cruz. My mom was excited and said that she and my dad couldn’t wait to meet him. Of course, they both knew Zane through Luke and snowboarding, so I had to guess that was why my dad wasn’t completely freaking out.
We arrived at my childhood home and found that everyone had already arrived ahead of us. Cruz and I weren’t late; I think my brothers just wanted to make sure they went above and beyond for me in this situation by arriving early.
After coming around to open my door, Cruz held my hand as we walked through the garage into the house. We stepped inside and followed the sound of voices to the kitchen. Sure enough, we found my parents, Logan, Luke, and Nikki were all there already. They turned their attention to us and I noticed my dad’s gaze drop to where my hand was being held firmly in Cruz’s grip. In an attempt to distract my father, I dove into introductions.
“Mom. Dad. This is Cruz. Cruz, these are my parents, Rick and Diane.”
“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Cruz. We’ve heard about you from your brother and Luke. Welcome to our home,” my mom gushed. I had no doubts she’d be happy.
“The pleasure’s all mine,” he returned before holding his hand out to my father. “Mr. Townsend, it’s nice to meet you.”
My father’s eyes narrowed, but he moved past it quickly and shook Cruz’s hand. It was a bit tense, but thankfully, Logan came to the rescue.
“Cruz?” he called as he held out his hand to him. When Cruz’s attention shifted to the side, Logan introduced himself. “Logan.”
I jumped in. “And you obviously already know Luke and Nikki.”
After he gave them both a nod, he stepped back beside me again.
“Ok, everyone into the dining room. The food is ready,” my mom announced before it had a chance to get awkward.
Fortunately, it never got that way either. Once we were all seated at the table and eating, it was wonderful. Most of this was because, aside from Cruz, I had three people there who knew I had a huge task ahead of me and they did what they could to keep it relaxed.
We finished eating and that’s when my father directed his attention to me.
“So, how has the business been going, sweetheart?”
“Really great,” I started. “I’ve been keeping busy with Elle’s stuff, obviously. Since snowboarding season is over, that’s slowed down a bit. Wes is close to launching his surf board line, though, so I’m sure I’ll be in demand for that soon enough. For the time being, I’ve had a few smaller campaigns I’ve been working on and one really big one that was a referral from Logan.”
“Oh yeah?” Dad asked, glancing over proudly to Logan.
“What is it?” Mom wondered.
“They’ve just opened a rape crisis center in Windsor. It’s called WAAR. It stands for Windsor Against Abuse and Rape. I’ve been doing all of the PR for it and talked with Grant the week before it opened. He’s the one overseeing the center for his company and he told me that the donations started pouring in after I launched the campaign. I spent the week following that call working on getting the word out so that rape and sexual assault survivors would know that there’s a place they can go for help.”
My mother was beaming at me and there was nothing but pride in my dad’s eyes. I hated knowing what I was about to do to them.
“I’m so proud of you, Lexi,” Dad said.
“Thanks, Dad,” I answered, dropping my eyes to my lap.
It grew silent in the room.
“Lexi?” my mom called.
I lifted my head and looked at my parents. I didn’t notice until I felt Cruz’s hand on my thigh that I’d been nervously shaking my leg. His touch offered comfort, but the feelings inside me were overwhelming.
“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” Mom pressed.
“I don’t…” I stopped myself, trying to get some control over my emotions. I took in a deep breath and blew it out. I felt Cruz’s thumb stroking back and forth on my leg, just above my knee. My eyes moved from my parents around the table. There was nothing but loving looks coming from my brothers and Nikki.
“It’s ok, Lex,” Logan assured me.
When I looked back at my parents, I blurted, “I don’t want you to be disappointed with me.”
“Why would we ever be disappointed with you?”
“Because something happened a long time ago that I’ve never told you about.”
“Lexi,” my dad cautioned. “I swear, if you are playing another one of your pranks on us right now—”
“Dad,” Luke interrupted, his tone low and foreboding. He shook his head at Dad.
&nbs
p; My parents were both extremely concerned at this point. Instinctively, my hand sought out Cruz’s. I squeezed tight.
“At the end of my freshman year in college, I was raped.”
My mom gasped. My dad shot up out of his seat. He was breathing heavily. He looked to Luke and Logan and scolded them, “Did you know about this and keep it from me?”
They didn’t respond.
Anger filled the space around him and the entire room. I glanced only briefly down at my mom to see her eyes filled with tears, but I couldn’t process it because my dad roared, “Answer me!”
I jumped in my seat at the tone of his voice and lost hold on the last bit of control I had. Cruz pulled me into his arms.
“Rick, dear,” my mother said.
I didn’t see or hear anything she said. The next voice I heard was Cruz’s.
“Mr. Townsend?” he called, his voice firm and strong.
I didn’t see my father’s reaction because my face was still planted in Cruz’s shoulder as he moved his hand up and down my back.
Cruz continued, “With all due respect, sir, I’m asking that you try to get ahold of what you’re feeling right now. I can’t begin to imagine what you must feel as a father, but as someone who is falling hard for your daughter, I can tell you that I understand your anger at what happened to her. There’s not a doubt in my mind that this entire family loves Lexi. I know that somewhere deep down you want to do what you’ve got to do to see her through this. Your reaction is not helping her right now.”
Someone who is falling hard for your daughter.
Falling hard for your daughter.
“My little girl was raped,” Dad hissed.
“There isn’t a soul in this room that’s happy about it either, but she’s got more to share with you and you’re not making it easy for her.”
“Oh my goodness. There’s more?” Mom repeated, her disbelief and shock evident.
After that, nothing but silence surrounded me for quite a while.
“Sweetheart?” Dad called after some time had passed.
Slowly, I pulled my face back from Cruz’s shoulder. He brought his hand up and used the pad of his thumb to wipe away my tears.
When I turned back to face my parents, my father was seated next to my mother again and I could see the anguish on their faces. “I’m sorry,” I apologized.
“Lexi, sweetie,” Mom started. “You have nothing to be sorry for and we’re not even the least bit disappointed with you.”
I shook my head slowly and shared, “I didn’t fight.”
They said nothing.
Tears began spilling down my cheeks as I cried, “I didn’t fight, Dad. I didn’t fight him.”
My dad was up and moving. In a flash, he was at my side hauling me up in his arms, engulfing me, and comforting me.
“My sweet little girl,” his tortured voice resounded in my ears. “You shouldn’t have ever needed to fight. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
I felt another hand at the small of my back before I heard my mom. “Lexi, you know this wasn’t your fault, right?”
Turning toward her, I answered, “I know.”
“It happened so long ago. I wish you would have told me, so I could have helped you. Have you gotten help? Are you ok?”
Nodding, I explained, “I started seeing a therapist shortly after it happened. I still see her, but not as frequently as I did in the beginning. She’s really helped me a lot.”
“Not to interrupt,” Logan piped up. “But you should know that Luke and I just recently found out as well. Even if we had known the day it happened, I wouldn’t have told you anything. It was Lexi’s to share.”
My eyes drifted back to my father’s face. It was settling in and I knew how much he was hurting.
“I’m going to ask you to do the same thing I asked Luke and Logan to do for me.”
“Anything, Lexi,” Mom declared.
“Feel whatever you need to feel about it. I understand this hurts you and that you have a right to your feelings about it, but please don’t hold on to it. As soon as you can, please let go of the hurt, anger, and guilt that you feel.”
Dad’s eyes drifted over my head toward Cruz. When they came back to me, he stated, “A real man doesn’t take advantage of a woman to feel powerful. A real man is strong for a woman when she needs him to be. He will to listen to you and be open with you. He’ll trust you and have patience with you. And when you need it, he’ll offer calm strength to protect you.”
I gave him a nod of understanding.
“The person who did that to you was not a real man, Lexi.”
“I know,” I insisted.
His face softened. “I know you know. That’s why you have that guy sitting beside you today,” he noted, jerking his head toward Cruz.
Apparently, Dad wasn’t finished. With his gaze focused on Cruz, he went on, “I wasn’t exactly thrilled when her mom told me Lexi, her brothers, and Nikki were coming over today and that Lexi was going to be bringing her boyfriend. But with what happened today, having you call me out on my shit, I can’t be angry about it anymore. You are giving my little girl that calm strength when she can’t find the strength within herself. I know she’s strong. She always has been. But, as her father, I want to know that she’s got someone who’s going to stand up and do what’s best for her when she needs them to. Thank you for standing up to me and protecting her, Cruz.”
“I appreciate that, Mr. Townsend. Lexi’s very important to me, so I’m going to do whatever I can to see to it that she’s never in any pain.”
“Rick, son. Call me Rick.”
Well, at least there was that. This wasn’t exactly my idea of a fairytale meeting of the parents, but I had to admit I was relieved that my family could see how good Cruz was to me.
The seven of us spent the next two hours together. I told my parents more of the details about what happened and I confessed that I hadn’t reported the rape. Much to my surprise, there wasn’t an ounce of disappointment. If anything, my dad felt tremendous guilt over the words he said to me so many years ago. He hated thinking that he’d told me to always fight and that because I didn’t when the situation presented itself, I ended up keeping my rape a secret.
As the conversation shifted from the specific and horrible details of the rape, it moved to my relationship with Cruz. In any other situation, I think I would have felt nerves or anxiety, but I had reached a point in my life where I knew I was making choices that were healthy for me. I couldn’t spend loads of energy worrying about how my decisions would be perceived by others. The truth was, that afternoon, my family proved to me that they had faith in me to do right by myself. And when the time came that I needed them, they’d offer me their unconditional support.
“Part of me believes that I need to tell you what you deserve,” my dad started. “It’s the part of me that wants to know that you know that what happened does not define any part of your life moving forward. But I don’t think you need me to tell you that adult relationships are not filled with violence. I think you already know that love is something that will be beautiful and safe. What happened to you will not ruin your chances at having a healthy relationship. I want to repeat those words over and over until I know it’s clear in your mind that rape does not define you. But I guess I don’t have to repeat anything. It’s evident to me that you’ve healed a lot since this happened to you. You’ve found a way to move forward and be successful. You’ve caught Cruz’s attention and I believe he’s a good man.”
I didn’t have an opportunity to respond because my father turned his attention to Cruz again. “I’m not going to try to intimidate you and push you to walk away from her. To be honest, I don’t think any of it would work. You stood up to me in my own home for Lexi’s sake. Her well-being was your concern and that’s all I can ask of the person my daughter chooses to be with. But as her father, especially now, I need you to know that I expect you’ll exercise every ounce of patience you have with her. No fat
her wants to think of his daughter having intimate relationships, but I’m not an idiot. I just need your word that you’re doing right by her knowing what she’s been through.”
Cruz didn’t hesitate to reassure my father. He did that while simultaneously rocking my world. “From the moment I laid eyes on her nearly a year ago, I knew she was someone special. I’ve wanted Lexi for a long time, but unfortunately, she wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship. I didn’t know the reason why at the time. When she finally got to a point where she decided she was ready to at least become friends, I still didn’t know what was holding her back. Now I do. And it doesn’t make me want her any less. I’ve got a shot at something good with your daughter. She’s one-of-a-kind in my eyes, so I’m not real keen on doing something stupid to destroy that or my chances with her. Lexi’s happiness, safety, and comfort are what she needs. That comes well before what I want. I know if I give her what she needs, I’ll eventually have a chance at getting what I want. And just to be clear, what I want is far more than just a physical relationship with her.”
That was when it happened.
I fell.
I fell so hard for Cruz, I wasn’t sure I’d ever get up.
I didn’t know what to do with what I was feeling. My eyes landed on Nikki’s. She was grinning at me and giving me a wink. She knew what just happened. She knew everything I was feeling and she was happy for me.
I scooted a little closer to Cruz.
His arm wrapped around my back as he tucked me into his side.
Not much later, we were walking to Cruz’s truck alongside Logan, Luke, and Nikki after saying goodbye to my parents. We were parked behind everyone since we were the last to arrive. When my brothers stopped at their vehicles, they turned toward us.
