They both seemed to wait for an answer. I set my spoon down. It was best to be clear about my intentions from the beginning; there was no point wasting time. “I am not in attendance seeking a title, a heart, or anything similar to romance. So, no, I will not be among the throng pestering his lordship for attention. Yet to answer the other part of the question . . .” I took a breath. “I sincerely hope that I will not leave disappointed. Indeed, I am full of hope that I may be counted among Mrs. Hickmore’s success stories by the end of the week.”
Lord Williams studied me a moment before raising his gaze to his cousin. Again something passed between them. Whatever it was, Mr. Northam took on a determined air and leaned close enough to murmur, “You know, Miss Brinton, I believe we shall get on very well.”
“I do hope so,” I murmured in return.
Two
We rose after dinner in order to, as Mrs. Hickmore called it, “enjoy a little performance or two.” What she meant, of course, was to provide an opportunity for those who wished to demonstrate talent, thereby increasing the likelihood of matches being made. I turned to Mr. Northam in the hopes he would escort me into the ballroom, but Lord Williams spoke first. “Miss Brinton, would you do me the honor?”
Mr. Northam shot me a wry glance but then turned and offered his arm to a different lady. I sighed and placed my hand on Lord Williams’s arm, his light cologne mixed with faint saddle oil doing nothing to recommend him.
As we moved away, Lord Williams nodded to a few people before saying, “Most women would be honored by such an offer.”
I glanced behind me. A woman was speaking to Mr. Northam, but his attention remained on us. “Then it is unfortunate for us both that you chose to offer your companionship to me.”
“Miss Brinton.” His tone turned severe, and I looked at him in surprise. “I feel it my duty to warn you against any hopes of winning my cousin’s hand. He is not interested in marriage.”
He had to be. Mrs. Hickmore would not have invited him if he had not expressed at least mild interest in it. “Perhaps that is only because he has not yet met the right woman.”
Lord Williams looked at me with mockery in his eyes. “And you think you are that woman?”
This baron was proving less the gentleman now that we conversed alone. Still, I maintained a polite facade, for he might have some influence over his cousin. “From what I gathered at dinner, I think your cousin and I are well suited.”
“How so?”
“I would change nothing in his life except his marriage status and the amount of money available to him.”
Lord Williams raised his brows. “Entering into the marriage state is often considered a life-altering event, changing everything about one’s life.”
I waited until we’d maneuvered around a few stationary couples before answering. “Yes, generally. But I am seeking a marriage of convenience. Mutual respect is paramount, of course, but I wish to avoid any of the deeper connections occasionally found within the state of matrimony. If he is, as you say, a rake, I believe such a union would suit your cousin perfectly. I do come with something of a dowry; not large enough to be called a fortune, but large enough to tempt some men.” Dishonorable men like Edward. And, hopefully, indifferent men like Mr. Northam.
Lord Williams drew me closer while guiding me through the crowd at the door, though he didn’t seem to realize what he’d done. But I noticed.
I would not be drawn in by any man.
I put distance between us before glancing around the large ballroom. Portraits and landscapes of differing sizes lined one side of the room, their gilded frames fitted together like well-placed stones in a dry-stone wall. Windows covered with closed, heavy drapes lined the other, while rows of hard-backed chairs took up half the wood floor, set up facing a large pianoforte.
Lord Williams gestured to the middle aisle and we moved toward it. “You are certain my cousin would fill such a role after so short an acquaintance?”
I shrugged. “It is impossible for two people to grow in regard for each other without interaction, and if I have the measure of him, we would hardly ever meet, let alone spend time together. I shall pass my days in the country, he in town, or wherever he prefers. His habits all but guarantee our separation, and I will certainly make no demands that he adjust his lifestyle.”
“Eventually you will grow lonely and dissatisfied. What will you do then?”
Why it concerned him I did not know. “Needlepoint.”
He shook his head. “What you seek is impossible.”
“And yet it is accomplished every day, especially among your peers, is it not? You cannot convince me that my plan is not a sound one.”
“One cannot convince a person who refuses to see reason,” he muttered.
What a pompous man. Dropping his arm, I faced him. “Do you deny that most of those who meet this week and fancy themselves in love will not discover, within a year of their being wed, that those emotions that drove them to the altar have wilted and died?”
“I cannot speak for others. I would not allow such a thing.” He gestured to a chair, indicating that I should take a seat.
Only a fool would believe one could retain another’s affection simply by forbidding it to waver. “You, my lord, have never been in love.”
Frowning, he took my hand to assist me in sitting. “You cannot expect a person to remain so stagnant.”
He was as well-bred and well-mannered as Mrs. Hickmore had claimed, but he was also rashly arrogant and overly interfering. He was exactly the sort of man who would insist on more in a union than I was willing to give, though it would always be more about gratifying his own conceit than the concerns of his companion.
I remained standing. “And you believe your cousin is inclined to such change? That eventually his disregard for someone such as me will transform into a true devotion?”
“You misunderstand me. I was speaking of you. Northam would never form a regard for you because he cares only for his own desires, and he would never desire something good. Yet were he to decide to woo you, to win your heart and make you love him, he would be successful. He takes what he wants.” His gaze held mine, his expression determined.
Little did he know I was just as determined. It was time to be rid of him.
I removed my hand from his. “He may be successful with others, but he would never be successful with me. With all due respect, my lord, I thank you for your concern on my behalf. But as you can see, I am resolved, more now than ever since you yourself admit that your cousin is exactly the sort of man I require. Your attentions will undoubtedly be better served speaking with someone interested in you, your title, or your opinions. In fact, there are some women just there straining to catch your eye.”
He stared at me in silence a moment before bowing. “Thank you for the honor of your time.”
“I wish you all the love you seek.”
He turned and walked toward the side of the room, and I finally breathed easy. Hopefully that would be the end of our interactions, excepting the wedding and perhaps holidays if things developed with Mr. Northam.
Surveying the crowd, I searched for Daniel. Guests made their way into the room, happier now that they’d been both fed and introduced to prospective companions. Many stood at the back, seemingly reluctant to claim seats, either because they’d just been sitting to dine and wished to stretch their legs or because they were waiting to see where others sat so they could position themselves to advantage.
By the end of the week, the hesitation would be gone. Announcements would be made. There was no guarantee, of course. But there was hope.
I would need to branch out, make more acquaintances if this endeavor were to succeed. Placing all my expectations on the first man I met was foolish. But the others could wait for tomorrow. Tonight, I wanted to relish in the hope—something I had not felt in too long.
I caught Daniel’s eye. He nodded his acknowledgment. The man next to him eyed me and said something to Daniel, who narrowed his eyes and said something in return. The man must have complimented me for Daniel to assume that protective older brother expression. The man wasn’t bad looking. A little shorter than I would have liked, but I wasn’t here to be picky.
Perhaps branching out wouldn’t be so difficult after all.
There were too many people between us for me to easily reach Daniel. Besides, Mrs. Hickmore had the right of it—relations did seem to get in the way of such things, and Daniel was the rule rather than the exception. But neither could I take a seat; the room was still too empty, and it would not do to sit alone and appear undesirable. I turned and feigned interest in the portraits, resolving to study the paintings until the assembly was called to order. Then I would find a seat. Away from Lord Williams. And hopefully near Mr. Northam.
The portrait before me of a woman with a thick lace collar and dark bushy brows bore no resemblance to the man in the next portrait, sporting a tiny nose and a large clefted chin. As I scrutinized the next few paintings, I realized that none claimed a resemblance to Mrs. Hickmore’s round face or Mr. Hickmore’s large features. I wondered if this entire wall of paintings represented a collection of strangers, portraits brought haphazardly together, bought for a discount because those who had commissioned them disliked them or couldn’t pay for them. I strolled slowly, studying the men in outdated ruffled collars and women in now-unfashionable high-necked lace, until I stumbled upon one of the smaller pictures.
Its oversized frame was easy to ignore, the filigree flaking in one corner to betray a grimy gray beneath. But the lone girl, arms spread wide, face lifted to the sky as though sunlight instead of rain spilled down from the low black clouds, held me captive. No darkness of feature hinted at secret disappointments. No downcast eye told of a past she despised. No doubt creased her brow. Instead, she radiated peace and confidence. She radiated freedom.
I had once been that free. But I could not change Edward’s infidelity, nor could I go back in time and protect myself from the disappointed hopes of love. I could only promise never to repeat the situation. I would not be deceived again.
Renewed resolve rippled through me. This was why I was here. To shed my past and claim my future. One day, when my heart was safe, I would again be free.
“Miss Brinton?” A hand touched my back.
I turned, returning to an awareness of the room. Nearly everyone had been seated and the loud chattering had died to whispered murmurings.
Mr. Northam offered me a smile. “I believe they are ready to begin. Would you care to take a seat?” He indicated a few chairs nearby.
I glanced quickly around. Lord Williams was seated toward the middle of the room. I was in no danger from him this far away.
I returned Mr. Northam’s smile, his expensive cologne wafting around me like the warmth of a welcoming fire. “I would like to very much, yes.” He directed me to the chairs.
“Are you prepared for the showcase?” he asked once we’d settled.
I raised my brows at his choice of words.
“Do you not agree that in every performance there is a desire to exhibit oneself to advantage?”
“I suppose.” Yet there were times when a presentation of musical skill was not for display but for the pleasure of passing time amiably. Perhaps Mr. Northam did not care for such things.
His shoulder brushed mine when he leaned closer. “Have I offended you?”
“Not at all. But I confess, I am a lover of music in whatever circumstance it is presented.”
“As am I. I did not mean to imply that I do not enjoy music. I enjoy music a great deal, when there is true skill. I find it more difficult to appreciate mediocrity when it is forced upon me in a setting such as this.”
This I could agree with. I smiled. “Yet you did not stay away.”
His shoulder brushed mine again, this time with seeming intent. “No, I did not.”
We lapsed into silence as a young woman arose and performed a minuet on the pianoforte. Then commenced a steady stream of singing and playing. A man performed on the violin with some talent, much to the delight of several young women. When a woman who looked barely sixteen attempted an aria that seemed particularly unpracticed, Mr. Northam’s attention shifted down the row. I followed his gaze and found Lord Williams frowning at us.
Was the entire week to be overshadowed by his disapproval?
“What was my cousin so desperate to speak to you about?” Mr. Northam asked.
“He warned me against you.”
Mr. Northam met my gaze with interest. “Did he?”
“Yes.”
“Yet here you are.”
I settled further into my chair. “Here I am.”
We listened in silence a moment more before he said, “Tell me, Miss Brinton, do you play?”
“I do,” I admitted, caught off guard. “But I am not much of a performer.”
“Do you sing?”
“Only when alone.”
He smiled at my response. It was easy to picture him breaking hearts when he smiled like that, warm and with a hint that he knew a secret he might be willing to share. “Then I will not ask you to sing. But will you do me the honor of playing something?”
I laughed quietly. “Most certainly. Perhaps tomorrow when the room isn’t quite so crowded.”
“There is a lull. You could play now.”
I realized the young woman had finished her performance and the crowd awaited the next.
Yet had he not just exclaimed how much he disliked such a display? “You wish me to perform in front of all these people?”
“You come across as someone with great skill at the things you do. I think most of this audience would appreciate hearing from you.” He stood and held out his hand.
This was too unexpected. I shook my head. “Please sit down.”
“It is too late. People are beginning to stare.”
I glanced around. People were beginning to stare. And had I not come for this? To see if there weren’t a few gentlemen in this crowd who would suit me? While it would only take one, there was that notion of eggs and baskets and all that.
“Very well.” I took Mr. Northam’s proffered hand and stood.
“What will you play?” he asked, guiding me to the piano.
I shrugged and looked out at the crowd, searching for Daniel. He’d moved from where he’d been before, but I located him near the back. His eyes were wide, mirroring the surprise I felt by finding myself before the crowd. My attention slipped to Lord Williams, whose expression was in its perpetual frown. He was surrounded by women touching his arm, whispering in his ear, straining to secure his notice, but the whole of his attention was directed toward me and Mr. Northam.
Though he may have found fault with my intentions, I vowed Lord Williams would find no fault in my performance. I smiled to the crowd and took my seat on the stool. Mr. Northam placed some music in front of me. “Do you know this?”
It was a song my father had purchased for me the year before. I knew it by heart. “Yes.”
“Shall I turn the pages?”
“If you’d like.”
He nodded and stayed standing by my side as I began to play. The crowd hushed appreciatively, and I worked to contain my smile of self-satisfaction.
A few minutes into my performance, though, murmurs rippled through the crowd. I glanced over, trusting my fingers to continue playing on their own. Lord Williams was standing, fists clenched at his side. Our gazes met and the coldness in his expression pierced my confidence.
/>
My fingers stumbled on the keys. I stopped playing.
He stared for a moment, anger and determination in his narrowed eyes. The whole room seemed to hold its breath with anticipation of his next move.
His attention shifted to Mr. Northam and a look of disgust entered his expression. He turned and marched from the room, slamming the door behind him.
A shocked stillness filled the ballroom. The next second, the party turned as one to stare at me. Murmurs started in the back, words like “cut” and “disgraced” carrying across the crowd. Then the room erupted with conversation.
Lord Williams had walked out. On my performance.
This was a disaster. I could never live this down. Who would have me after a direct slight from a baron?
I searched for Daniel. We would have to leave. I couldn’t stay. Even the time it took to walk from the room would be too long to spend among this company now.
Lord Williams had ruined everything.
I started to stand. Mr. Northam placed a hand on my shoulder and bent to my ear. “Keep playing.”
I turned to him in astonishment. “Your cousin walked out on me, sir.”
“Yes. And if you do not keep playing, it will be seen as the insult it was likely meant to be. But if you continue, if you show his leaving had no effect on you, the audience will change their opinion and instead attribute his actions to extreme rudeness. Trust me.”
I located Daniel. He looked thunderous, but someone a few rows ahead of him shifted and he was lost from view.
I was on my own.
Not on my own. I had Mr. Northam. Though for how long I couldn’t be certain. Surely even he wouldn’t remain interested in a woman his cousin had so openly disgraced.
I picked the song up where I’d left off, fumbling through a few measures before I again found the rhythm of the music. I struggled to pull emotion from the keys, willing everyone to forget what had happened.
It was no good, of course. The damage was done. Lord Williams had shamed me. He had ruined my chances for securing the match that was to set me free. He had stripped me of my hope. It was all I’d had left to propel me forward, and he’d stolen it on a whim.
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