by J. L. Beck
“I mean, I really want to go home, but what does it matter?” She shrugs. “I’ve gone from being held captive by someone else to being held captive by my sister.”
Her words sting. “You’re not being held captive. It’s safer here, for both of us. I didn’t go through all the trouble of getting you back just so we could end up in the same situation again.” My voice rises, and I do my best not to scold her, knowing her head isn’t in the right place, but I’m not letting her leave here.
Amelie tilts her head to the side, and her green eyes become luminous. “You like him, don’t you? That’s why you don’t want to leave.”
She’s pulled the rug right out from underneath me. “No. That’s not it. It’s not safe. As soon as it is, we will leave. Markus means nothing to me,” I lie. The words feel like acid on my tongue as I speak them.
“Whatever. I’m tired.” She’s starting to shut down, and still, I want to help her. All of this is my fault—all of it.
“Do you… want to talk about anything? About what happened while you were held captive? I’m here for you, Amelie.”
“I want to sleep,” she answers in a monotone voice.
I let things be and don’t push her any further. “Okay. You can stay in here. If you need anything, I’m right down the hall.”
Amelie doesn’t respond, and I force myself to walk out of the bedroom. Everything feels like it’s falling apart. My entire life is a lie. Everything I’ve come to know, a lie. It’s like I don’t even know who I am anymore.
I head back to the bedroom, and thankfully, Markus isn’t there. Stripping out my clothing, I turn the shower to hot and wait for the bathroom to steam up. I step into the shower, and like a faucet being turned on, everything I’ve been holding in breaks free.
It comes barreling out of me in the form of tears.
My body shakes and trembles, so much so I lean against the tile wall to keep myself upright. I’m in love with a man who can never love me, a man who paid a million dollars for me, a man who is a violent, dangerous criminal.
I’m adopted, my entire life a lie, and the whipped cream on top… I’m the spitting image of my dead half-sister, the only woman that Markus has ever loved.
I’m so caught up in my self-loathing that I don’t notice someone else is in the bathroom until the glass door of the shower slides open, and Markus’s naked physique appears in front of me. I try to pull myself together, but it’s not happening, and all it takes is one look for him to know that I’m shattering.
“I’m here for you, Fallon.” His gravelly voice washes over me, and my nipples harden at the sound.
“I’ve been strong for so long… I’m tired of being strong,” I sob, and he takes me into his arms, holding me to his chest like a piece of glass that’s going to crack right down the middle.
“You don’t have to be strong. I’m here, you can lean on me. Let me be your strength.” His breath tickles my ear, and I shiver.
“You would do that?”
“I care about you, Fallon. Maybe not in the way you want or need to be cared for, but I’ll try my best. I want to help you through your pain, through the secrets that we uncovered. We can be the same without all the bullshit, without the auction or money that I paid for you hanging over our heads, and when this is over… you can leave, if that’s what you want.”
His confession only makes me unleash a new wave of tears, and I suck a ragged breath into my lungs. I knew he would do this, push me away, eventually. He’s giving me an out, letting me leave when he said he never would. Little does he know, I don’t want to leave.
I want to stay forever, but I’m afraid… afraid of what happens when this is all over. Afraid that we may fall apart before we have the chance to become whole.
“I want that. I want you, even if it’s not fully. Whatever you can give me, I’ll take it.” I bury my face into his muscled chest and sink deep into my mind. I think of all that I’ve discovered, how twisted and thorn-filled our lives have become.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I know that I’ve done all I can do. I’ve saved my sister, and we’re safe here with Markus as long as we stay put.
In the end, that’s all I want. I can’t make Markus love me. The only thing I can do is hope that when the time for me to leave comes… he doesn’t let me go.
38
Markus
Three Months Later
Three months come and go in the blink of an eye. Life with Fallon is normal, real. It’s everything I could’ve asked for and more.
Over the months, we’ve grown closer, and things have changed. My emotions and feelings toward her have matured tremendously, and the thought of her not being here tomorrow or for the rest of my life terrifies me.
I don’t want to let her go… I really fucking don’t, but I told her at the end of all of this, once it was safe, she could leave. I’ll make good on my word and let her, even though it’s going to kill me. I do my best to stay busy every day, to take my mind off the thought of her leaving. Sometimes, I pray that Felix never calls because the day he does, I know everything will change. I’ve just finished up lunch and a game of scrabble with Fallon and Amelie when my phone starts to ring.
If someone had told me a year ago, I would be sitting in an apartment with two women, playing board games and cooking like I was anything but a higher up in the mob, I would’ve told them to fuck off. But here I am, domesticated as fuck.
Amelie has adjusted surprisingly well. It took her awhile to get used to me, to trust me not to hurt her or Fallon, but we somehow got there.
Julie ended up staying with Felix permanently. Even after she recovered, and we offered her a fresh start, she chose to live with Felix. I’m not sure if that’s the best outcome for either of them, but that’s a story for another time.
Glancing at the phone, it’s as if he can hear me thinking about him. Felix’s name is lighting up the screen.
“Hello, brother—”
“He’s here. In town,” Felix says with no preamble. There is no further explanation, not that I need any.
“Where?”
“I’ll send everything to your email, but before I do, I have to tell you not to go in alone. I know you didn’t listen last time, and you got fucking lucky. This is different, though. Just please fucking listen to me when I say do not go in alone,” he repeats.
My lips tip up at the sides. He’s showing such brotherly love.
“I won’t, and thank you for finding him,” I say before ending the call.
Without taking a second to think about it, I call the one person I know I can count on to help me.
It rings a few times before Julian answers. “Nice to hear from you, how is your—”
“I need your help, and it can’t wait,” I say, hoping he’ll do this for me. Especially after I practically abandoned him.
“What are you talking about? Wait…” He trails off, probably putting one and one together. He knows I’ve been looking for Victoria’s father.
“I found Timothy. He is here, in town. I need to move now. Can you help?”
It doesn’t take Julian long to respond. “I see. Yes, I suppose I can help,” he says, all nonchalant, probably because Elena is close by and listening to his every word.
His voice is calm, almost uninterested, but I don’t miss the note of excitement. Since his marriage to Elena, he rarely goes out and gets his hands dirty anymore, that doesn’t mean his need for bloodlust has disappeared. He’s just better at hiding it.
Like all made men, he yearns for violence, and tonight, he will get his fill.
“I’m on my way.”
I quickly pull up Felix’s email and go over everything he sent me. Location, blueprints, etc. It doesn’t take me long to get ready. I’ve been waiting for this day for three months, welcoming it with open arms and not wanting it to come at all.
Only when I’m dressed in Kevlar and tactical gear from head to toe do I leave my office.
Fall
on and Amelie are curled up on the couch. I notice a chick flick playing on the large flat screen as I pass them in the living room. They are both asleep, but Fallon’s eyes fly open when she hears me approach.
“Where are you going? Work?” Her voice is sleepy.
She knows that sometimes that’s all I can tell her.
“No, Felix called. We found Timothy. He is close by, in the city. I’m going to kill him tonight,” I whisper, trying not to wake up Amelie.
“Oh…”
Worry lines crease her forehead, and I itch to smooth them away. “Don’t worry. I’ll be back by the morning. He’s not getting away this time. By tomorrow you’ll be safe… and free.” I force the last word past my lips.
“Okay.” She nods, but her eyes tell me she is unsure about this.
She is worried about me, which is still an odd feeling to process. Having someone care for me like that is something I never expected to happen again, especially from Fallon.
Leaning in, I give her a chaste kiss before I pull away. She forces a smile, and I almost stay a few minutes longer just to make sure she is okay, but I’m on the clock.
Time is running out, and I can’t miss this window of opportunity.
“Go back to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up,” I promise her before slipping into the elevator. The doors close slowly, and our gazes remain on one another until we can no longer see each other.
By the time I reach the parking garage, I’m in hunting mode. I jog to my car and get inside in a hurry. I break about every traffic law in the city, speeding across town to Julian’s place. I’m not concerned in the least bit about the cops pulling me over. Julian pays them a fortune to turn a blind eye to our shit.
When I arrive at Julian’s mansion, he is already waiting at the gate for me. He’s dressed similar to me. All black, tactical gear, and I’m sure armed to the teeth. Without his expensive suit, he looks more like a mercenary than the head of the mob.
“Eager for a night out?” I grin as he climbs into the car.
“You have no idea.”
“Good, I can’t wait to get this done. Felix sent—” Fuck! As soon as Felix’s name leaves my lips, I know I’ve fucked up. I’m so consumed with the thought of finally getting Timothy that it just slipped out. I glance over at Julian, planning to see an angry scowl or the chamber of his gun, but instead, find him staring at me with his eyebrows raised.
“I don’t know what I should be angrier about, you not telling me that Felix has been back in your life for months now, or the fact that you thought I didn’t know all along?”
Gripping the steering wheel a little tighter, I say, “I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“He is your brother by blood, and he was never cut out for this life. I know you’re loyal to me. You are one of the only people I still trust.” That means a lot coming from Julian, especially after the whole Lucca fiasco. He’s trusted basically no one since his betrayal.
“I’ll always have your back. I don’t know what drove Lucca to do what he did, but there is nothing that could make me turn on you.” I often think about that text Lucca sent me while I was on my way to France. I’m sorry. I had to.
I didn’t know what it meant at the time. Only later did I find out Lucca had double-crossed us, all of us, but it hit Julian the hardest. I still don’t understand why he did it, but I’m almost certain it has something to do with that little redheaded girl he sent me after. Claire.
“Enough with the traitor. What’s the lowdown on this guy we’re killing?”
“He’s at a poker game happening in the basement of Giovanni’s place. Felix said there are five guys inside, but no one is guarding the entrance. No cameras, either.”
“So… they’re really stupid or just arrogant. This is going to be a walk in the park, like taking candy from a child.” He sounds almost disappointed, like he had hoped for something more challenging.
“Probably a bit of both. I want to kill everyone quickly, except Timothy. I want to know what his endgame was, and then I’ll make him suffer for what he put Fallon through.”
Usually, Julian makes all the rules and decides how the fucker will be handled, but he knows I need this. This is my kill, my chance for revenge.
“Sounds like a plan,” he agrees.
“Here, that’s him.” I pull up a recent picture on my phone and show it to Julian, so he knows which one not to kill right away.
“Perfect. I’ll make sure I save him for you.” Julian grins, and truthfully, it’s scary to see him this joyous over spilling blood. Ever since getting married and having a kid, he’s been more reluctant to leave the house.
That, and the fact he trusts no one, Lucca really did a number on him.
Twenty minutes later, we pull up to Giovanni’s place. It’s a rundown house next to his garage, where he sells stolen auto parts. He is a small-time criminal, petty theft, and shit. Usually, we stay out of his way, but not today.
We’re in a bad part of town, so we’re not worried about being seen or heard. Nobody will call the cops here. Screams, fighting, and shootouts are a common thing here.
We make our way around the house. Just like Felix said, there is no one standing guard. I pick the lock on the back door, and we are inside the house with no trouble at all.
As soon as we step into the kitchen, we can hear laughter echoing up the stairs from the basement. At least some of the men are down there. Julian and I walk through the house quietly with our guns drawn. This seems way too easy. A toilet flushes, and we both look at each other.
A moment later, the bathroom door swings open. The guy steps out into the hall, still zipping up his pants. I’m on him before he can react.
With my hands around his throat, I press him up against the wall. He wheezes for air, his hands desperately trying to get me away. He makes a feeble attempt to hit me in the chest, but he’s already so weak it barely hurts.
His eyes start to bulge in his skull, small veins burst, turning the white in his eyes blood red. His lips turn a sickening blue, and I watch as the life drains from his body before I slowly lower him to the floor.
“One down, four to go,” I whisper when I turn around.
Julian nods, and we make our way down the stairs.
The basement smells of smoke, sweat, and booze. The laughing gets louder with each step we descend. The men are so drunk and distracted, they don’t even see us coming.
“Good evening, gentlemen,” Julian greets cheerfully, announcing us to the four men sitting around the round poker table.
The laughing stops immediately. The men scramble off their chairs, reaching for weapons, but their moves are sluggish from the alcohol they’ve ingested, and they don’t stand a chance against us.
Julian fires two shots, hitting the two men to the right, right between their eyes. I kill the one on the left just as his fingers ghost against his gun.
After the echoes of the gunfire cease, the room descends into silence. All I can do is stare at Timothy, the father of the girl I used to love.
Even the recent picture I have of him didn’t show how terrible he looks. His leathery, pale skin is covering his thin face, which is set in a permanent frown. Deep wrinkles are etched into his forehead and around his mouth, making him appear older than he is. The dark circles under his eyes make his already dark brown eyes seem black.
He looks to be twenty years older than he actually is. For a split second, I feel sorry for him, knowing what he lost, knowing that he lost everything he ever loved. That feeling quickly vanishes when I’m reminded of all he did to Fallon.
“This is all your fault,” he sneers at me. “You’re the reason she is dead. She was a good girl. Had her whole life ahead of her, and you destroyed that. Ripped it all away.”
“Kind of like you ripped Fallon’s life away from her? Like you destroyed Amelie’s?”
“Amelie was collateral damage, and Fallon deserved it. It’s her fault my wife killed herself. She was nothing but a mista
ke. If I had it my way, Fallon never would’ve been born.”
Anger surges inside of me, making my muscles quake. “I can’t wait to kill you, old man. It’ll be the highlight of my life to see you perish. But first, let’s make one thing very clear. You started this. You are the catalyst that set everything into motion.”
With my gun pointed at his head, I take a step toward him. “I always thought you were a good guy, single dad, hardworking, no trouble with the law. It took me a while to see you for who you really are. The kind of man you are hiding inside. Tell me, why did your wife cheat on you? Because you were such an outstanding husband? Why did you have to threaten her with taking Victoria away? Because she loved you so much?”
“You know nothing!” he spits, gritting his yellowing teeth.
He doesn’t like that I’m giving it all back to him. That I’m not backing down like all the others in his life have.
“I know Victoria wanted to move in with me. I know she didn’t want to go home most nights. I was too young and dumb back then to see why. You were never the good guy you pretend to be, were you?”
“Funny coming out of your mouth. Like you’re such an outstanding citizen?”
“I’ve never pretended to be good. I’m a killer, a criminal, I’m selfish and arrogant. I’ve never pretended to be anything else. I don’t hide it either, never have, never will. And I’m not going to pretend that I feel any remorse or that I won’t take great pleasure in killing you… killing you very slowly.”
All the blood drains from Timothy’s already pale face, making him look… well, dead. His legs give out on him, and he sits back down on his chair. I can see his hands shaking from here, fear overtaking his body. He knows his clock is up. The only way he’s leaving this building is in a body bag.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Julian take a step closer. Without glancing over my shoulder to see his face, I know he is excited and ready to start.
Grinning, I say, “Let’s begin…”
