“Congratulations.”
“Thanks, Aut. Lycanthropy is good for one thing… it makes you an incredible dancer.”
“I’m sure it does. Now, shoo!”
“I’m going!” He chuckled out as he pushed from the breakfast bar and headed for the door. I watched him with a small smile. I was glad I had been able to forgive him. Garrett was good for laughter if nothing else.
I took Garrett’s advice. Grabbing my pointe shoes out of the closet I crossed the street at five. When most dancers were leaving for the day I snuck in. Garrett spied me and gave me a thumbs up as I walked down the hall carrying my ballet shoes. For a moment I couldn’t remember why I broke up with him. You walked in on him and three others having sex in your bed. Oh yeah, that. Still I flashed him a smile as I ducked into the room that Nikolai was in.
Surprisingly enough, he wasn’t alone. Tristan was there too, helping him learn some choreography. My mind wandered to the time I watched Aleksi in the same room—also with Tristan working as repetituer. Tristan was all blonde hair, blue eyes and smiles as he held his clipboard and instructed Nikolai.
“In the grand jete, you still seem a little loose in the arms.” Tristan sighed out shaking his head and glancing at his clipboard. “If you want a bit of a challenge, after the jete try to fouette to the right once you hit the ground. No recovery, just hit and into a triple fouette, and then continue.”
“I can tell you now. That… I can’t do that.” Nikolai chuckled out.
“You might be surprised. Leslie can do a lot of the things Colette can, even before the marks she could. I would never recommend it for the beginning of a piece, but this is the end. One last chance to make the audience scream your name.”
Nikolai nodded, and I pressed my cheek to that small cinder block wall that blocked the view of the rehearsal space from the door. Tristan turned on the music and Nikolai took two steps and sprung into an amazing leap. Considering that he was only human, the fact that he was able to get so much height in his jumps while keeping the line of his body so clean was astounding. When he landed he tried that fouette and got one full turn in before he fell flat on his bottom with a grunt.
“See, you almost had it.” Tristan beamed holding out his hand to help Nikolai up.
“Tell that to my ass.” He laughed that nervous laugh as he stood—that Aleksi laugh and I let out a soft sigh that made Tristan look in my direction.
“Autumn!” He exclaimed beckoning me over. “Wasn’t he magnificent?”
“Amazing, I haven’t seen a human move like that before. Vampires yes, but not a human.” I wrapped my arms around Nikolai and pressed my face to his black t-shirt for a moment as he held me close.
That was the only contact and attention I got as he poured himself fully into learning his choreography. I retreated in defeat to a little corner of the room, warmed up and practiced Swanilda’s act three solo from Coppelia—it was my new go to.
Tap tap. Shuffle shuffle shuffle. Tap tap. Swish. The sound of my Pointe shoes on the wood were the only really noises in the room apart from the murmurs of Nikolai and Tristan. I tuned them out. In my head I was on stage in front of thousands of people. Tap tap. Ballet widow. Shuffle shuffle shuffle. Discarded whore. Tap tap. Thud. I missed my footing and hit the floor so hard I could have sworn that I bounced. The audience in my head erupted with laughter. My hip ached with that dull burning that slowly built over time. I bruised the bone. Neither of them looked up. I sat on the floor immobilized by the pain. Aleksi would have rushed to your side. Even Garrett would have shown concern. I watched them in the mirror through eyes narrowed in pain.
Eventually I gathered up enough strength to stand and limp over to where my shoes were. As I collapsed in the chair and started to untie the ribbon Tristan glanced at me.
“You need to work on your arms, Autumn.” His only parting words before he passed me and disappeared into the hall. Nikolai sighed and walked over to the piano and picked up his phone. He hit a few buttons and a song I didn’t recognize started playing and he started dancing without a word. I slipped into my sneakers, wincing with every movement. Glancing up I noticed he didn’t even spot to me. Did I do something wrong?
Fuck it, I’ll just go home and take a hot bath. Such language. I tugged on that bright red coat of mine and tried to stand. My hip did not like the suggestion. The moment I put weight on the injured side my leg collapsed like a car with crumple zones, sending me to my knees.
“Niki.” I whimpered and he finally stopped dancing. There was a look on his face. Anguish? Even through the blossoming pain I could regret that I had ever brought up his possible involvement in the Order of the Sun Cross.
But he stilled and didn’t approach me. His feet turned out in perfect first position, with his heels almost together and his toes pointing to opposite corners of the room. I took in everything in that moment. The way his chin was just so slightly tilted. He wasn’t going to help me up. So much for taking care of me.
With gritted teeth I pulled myself to standing and buttoned my coat. He kept staring at me with that look. His arms were perfectly at his sides with his hands loose. That usually playful mouth was turned almost into a frown and that lovely pout was parted. His head dipped and his brow furrowed for a moment before those golden brown waves obscured his eyes and brow from view.
“I’ll be home later than usual. You should probably eat without me.” That was all he said to me. Needless to say I was confused. All I could do was nod before I hobbled out of the room. The embrace was clearly for Tristan’s benefit…what had happened?
I was halfway out of the building when my phone beep with a text message from Garrett.
[Get Lucky?]
Stopping in my tracks in the lobby I stared at the little screen and the reflection of the lights on the glass. I stared until the two words stopped making sense to me and then tucked the phone back into my pocket without replying.
Miss Manners started in as soon as I limped across the street. What did you expect from him? You knew he was messed up. This shouldn’t surprise you at all. I rubbed my temples as I hobbled into my apartment. I didn’t neatly hang up my coat, I threw it across the room. It and my phone landed in the corner with a loud distinct thunk. I didn’t take off my shoes. I didn’t even take my much needed bath. Instead, I curled up under my covers and fell asleep with my shoes still on.
My ringtone woke me. That old timey phone chime wrestled me from my blank dreams. Groaning into the pillow I peeled myself out of bed, yelping with the first step on my injured left side. Sleeping on it had only made it worse, but I could still kind of walk if I clenched my jaw through the pain. I made it all the way to my discarded coat and phone on the living room floor before I realized it was dawn and I was alone in my apartment. The phone continued to ring as I knelt with it in my hand and listened to the hum of the refrigerator and the whoosh of passing cars. There wasn’t a single sign that Nikolai had been home.
After a few more rings I answered without even checking the caller ID.
“Hello?” I spoke into the phone in my best all business voice.
“Oh, I was hoping I’d just get your machine.” It was Leslie.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“Riding that bologna pony can be invigorating, especially since it is Nikolai Zelenko. Him being Aleksi’s son aside I am envious.” She giggled. I glanced around my empty apartment.
“Something like that. How’ve you been?”
“Busy. Touring isn’t half as fun as you’d think. I get maybe one day off a week. We’re going through material at breakneck speed. I hardly feel like I have time to catch my breath after one ballet ends before we’re doing stage rehearsals for the next. How ‘bout you, Aut? Tristan won’t stop gushing about Nikolai. Apparently he’s going to give Aleksi a run for his money once he’s turned. You should hear him, it’s teeny bopper proportion gushing.”
“Things are…as good as can be expected. Aleksi’s still not awake yet…I spoke to Gar
rett today, well…yesterday.”
“Oh? How’s the puppy?”
“He’s good. Apparently he misses hanging out with us.”
“I can’t blame him. We were fucking awesome. We should all get together sometime. I’m actually waiting on my flight home. Council ordered all artists back to their home territories by the end of the month because of this whole Sun Cross thing. It’s honestly a little scary to come back from performing to see something spray painted on your fucking hotel room door.” She laughed a bit. “I have a security detail of my own now, after last year I’m actually relieved to have someone there. I can’t wait to get home. Oop! There’s my flight. I’ll call you in three hours when I land okay?”
“Alright. Safe flight.”
“Thanks. Oh! We should get breakfast. I’ll just come over once I land. See you in a few.” Beep. I pulled the phone from my ear and looked around my empty apartment again before I checked my phone. Zero messages from Nikolai.
Well, if he doesn’t want to come home, fine. Two can play that game. I called for a car and sent a quick text to Leslie telling her I was going to Crimson Hill and that she could meet me there.
When I got there I found the halls filled with vampires and soft piano music. Something important was going on, something important that I was excluded from. I didn’t know what to think as I saw everyone milling around in their different colors. I felt like I was in the middle of a flower garden as I made my way to Aleksi’s room. Nothing had changed. Tristan had kept the massive Versailles replica exactly the same as he had when he inherited it from Elizabeta the previous July. He might control the region but did you really think Elizabeta would let him change much?
Outside of Aleksi’s room the posted guard remained. Two vampires with machine guns—yes, automatic rifles—were standing sentelic beside the door, staring forward wordlessly like they were part of the décor. I reached for the door, and one picked up their little radio.
“Unicorn entering the Dragon’s den.” One spoke into the radio making me roll my eyes. Unicorn? Really? I sighed and pushed the door open.
The sight of Aleksi limp, and lifeless on the bed floored me. I actually stumbled back against the trim of the door. I don’t know what I was expecting. It had been a month and some weeks, I wanted there to be something, anything, but he was the same. This is your fault. I couldn’t refute the laser like glare of Miss Manners as I sunk to the floor. I had been so wrapped up in Nikolai I forgot Aleksi was here, like this without anyone to visit or care about him.
For a while I just sat there staring at Aleksi on the bed. Everything seemed to bleed away, nothing seemed to matter but him. I watched the noon sun stream in through the tempered and tinted windows. I shakily stood, my hip still aching from my fall the night before as I walked over to Aleksi’s lifeless form. Up close he didn’t look much better than he did from far away. Those full succulent lips were almost violet, his skin was bluish. If not for the beeping of the nearby machines I would have thought he was really dead.
“Oh, Aleksi.” I breathed as I bent down and kissed his lips—they were freezing. The coolness of his flesh brought tears to my eyes. “Maybe you were right. Where would I be right now if we had stayed together?” I asked as I crawled into the bed beside him and laid my head on his chilly flesh. “Something’s up with Nikolai… but I don’t know what. He went from perfect to…distant and moody. Kind of like you.” I sighed heavily and took a deep whiff of his scent. There was nothing of Aleksi there, just disinfectant and that lingering smell of illness.
“Feeeed him.” Croaked from seemingly all around me. I sat up and glanced around the room with a start. In the doorway to the bathroom the shadows were long and I could almost make out a figure lurking there. I sat up in the bed beside Aleksi and looked down at my wrist and then to those purple lips.
Self-harm—for whatever reason—was not something I could do, aside from wearing heels, corsets… or… hell, who was I kidding? Self-harm was the route to beauty. But cutting myself? That was something else entirely. That was Vlad’s voice! You know he’s right! Feed Him! What are you waiting for? I reached into my small clutch and fished out the safety pin I never left home without.
The small innocuous object suddenly seemed inexplicably frightening. The muted sunlight glimmered at that needle like point, coaxing my throat to swallow. Anything for those you love, right? I drove that gleaming point into my index finger with a whimper. I didn’t pull it out right away, I just stared at it dangling from my finger. It was so odd, it didn’t really hurt. Like a vampire bite I knew the pain would come the moment I slid that sharp pin from my flesh. So I hesitated before I finally pulled the pin out of my finger and watched as the blood quickly welled up in the small puncture.
“Small sacrifices.” I whispered with a swallow before I slipped my bleeding finger between Aleksi’s lips. “Hopefully I don’t get gangrene.” I couldn’t stop myself from snickering as I milked the blood out of my finger on one of his lower teeth drop by slightly stinging drop. I knew Vampire saliva was an anticoagulant, so I sat there rubbing my finger against his teeth until I fell asleep.
I woke up to a room in complete darkness with my finger cold and wet. There was no change, the machines still beeped and cast a dim blue light around us. I sighed with disappointment and slipped my finger out from between his lips. What the fuck was I expecting? Him to wake up like Sleeping Beauty.
Crawling over the bed I made my limping way back to the bathroom. I closed the door and turned on the light. Staring back at me was a new mirror, the one I had broken months ago with the first manifestation of my telekinesis was long gone. With a sigh I pulled down my skirt a little and looked at my bruised hip in the mirror. Normally I could have just looked down. But I was wearing a push up bra that lifted my breasts to such epic heights that I couldn’t see anything but cleavage if I looked down.
Smoothing my skirt back into place I pulled up my boots and stared at myself in the mirror. My hazel eyes were almost golden in the warm tones of the bathroom. The lighting also made me look very serious and highlighted my full perpetual frown. Tracing my finger over the edge of my bottom lip to keep my bright cherry red lipstick in place, I couldn't help but to remark how much like blood it looked. With that little realization I fished a Band-Aid out of the drawer and covered my still dripping finger.
When I left the bathroom I stared at Aleksi’s motionless form again. Would I trade everything to have him awake again? Would I trade Nikolai for him? No. It’s a stupid question, you know you love Nikolai too.
The door swung open and Colette was on the other side. She loved her official color, and she always wore it. Today she wore a cashmere sweater dress in that pretty shade of pale pink. Her long brown almost black hair which was the same shade as Aleksi’s trailed over her shoulders in loose waves. Those electric blue eyes sparkled with delight as always. The only difference between her and Aleksi was the mouth. Her mouth was small and kittenish whereas Aleksi’s was full and sensuous. Those huge electric sapphire eyes seemed to sparkle all the more when they landed on me.
“Autumn!” She practically squealed as she ran to me, wrapping her long elegant limbs around me. “I was hoping you’d be here still! I’m sorry about last night.”
“Last night?” I furrowed my brows.
“I picked Nikolai up when he was on his way home. I was going to tell you, but I thought you’d understand.” How considerate of her. You should say something about it.
“Oh.”
“I wanted to talk to him, and he’s very hard to get a hold of. With the right guidance he could be everything that my brother refuses to be.” She practically swooned when she said it and my stomach lurched. “But I’m glad you two have each other, especially in times like these. He had nothing but glowing things to say about you… and he’s such a sweet boy. You need to learn to cater to all of his desires though. He had that look in his eye the whole conversation like he was missing part of himself. It’s the same look my dear
brother gets when he hasn’t…sated his certain appetites. But I’m sure I don’t need to tell you any of this. It’s probably just his schedule getting in the way… you should surprise him. Go to him when he’s practicing after hours one day in nothing but your Pointe shoes!” A blush took to my cheeks with her suggestion, I closed my eyes and pursed my lips for a handful of moments before gathering myself again with a small sigh.
“I’ll think about it.”
“There’s nothing to think about, Autumn. I don’t like to see my boy wanting.” Oh, I’m going to throw up on her pretty white boots. Just smile and nod.
“Alright. I’ll do it” I agreed with a small smile—a smile which suppressed my gag reflex.
“He’s in the rehearsal space here with Evan if you want to see him. I know it’s hard to see Aleksi like this, but my brother is a fighter. We’re the Uniter’s blood. Aleksi has the heart of a warrior king, just like our father… he’ll pull through.”
I left the room nodding after her little speech. I didn’t know where the rehearsal space here was but I knew I didn’t want to be around Colette. She had gotten creepy, which was odd because she was once so nice and friendly. I guess she was still nice and friendly if I could get her off of the topic about her dear brother and Nikolai. I knew the relation between her and Aleksi wasn’t as close as insinuated. But my modern sensibilities cringed whenever she called him brother, doubly now that I knew they had a child together.
With all of the music and bodies milling about it was impossible for me to find the dance studio on my own. On top of everything, my hip was nothing short of painful. Every step was agony by the time I gained the courage to ask someone where it was. By the time I actually opened the door, my limp was pronounced enough that I felt like I was dragging the injured leg behind me.
The moment Evan saw me hobble into the room he stopped talking to Nikolai and practically ran to me, scooping me up into a tight—and somewhat unexpected—hug. Nikolai didn’t do or say anything. But he watched us with those ice blue eyes which were void of any sort of emotion. Evan nervously smiled down at me.
Dark Awakenings (Danse Macabre Book 2) Page 9
