by Ava Winters
“Tell me about him,” Hannah invited as she settled into one of Amanda’s stuffed chairs.
Amanda didn’t really want to talk about Stefan right then. She didn’t even want to think about him. Maybe if she could force herself to stop remembering her time with Stefan, she could push him out of her mind and move on with her life, like her father had advised. She was beginning to see that it was easier said than done, though.
Slowly, she began to tell Hannah everything that had happened during her time at Thunder Valley Ranch. She started with the stagecoach ride, even though Hannah was already aware of Amanda’s plan to switch places with Luisa.
She told Hannah about how she had tried to follow Stefan all over the ranch until she finally realized that she was effectively pushing him away from her. She described everything they had done together and how she enjoyed getting to know him.
“Let me ask you a question,” Hannah said when Amanda finally grew silent. “What makes Stefan different from all the other young men that you know?”
Amanda thought for a moment. “The way he treats others, the respect he shows everyone. The way he treated me, like I really mattered to him, not just because I was a pretty face and have a rich father.”
Hannah nodded. “He sounds like a fine young man. I hope that I will be able to meet him some day.”
Amanda didn’t have anything to say to that. She was sure that she would never see Stefan again, so introducing him to Hannah wasn’t ever going to be an option.
“May I give you some advice?” Hannah asked after they had both sat silently for a long while.
Amanda almost grinned at Hannah’s question. Her nanny had never felt like she needed to ask for permission to say whatever was on her mind before. Why was she starting now? “Yes.”
“I know that much has happened since you left for Thunder Valley Ranch. Some of it was your doing, of course. But most of it was caused by circumstances beyond your control. I have found, when I am in a situation that I can’t fix, I try to focus on others. It helps me in multiple ways. When I find someone else that I can help, I am not thinking of myself. Sometimes, the problem that I want to change fixes itself. Sometimes it just needs time and I can think through what needs to be done another time. Sometimes the situation stays the same but I can figure out the best way to handle it.” Hannah looked at her intently. “Do you understand what I’m saying, dear?”
Amanda slowly nodded.
“This is what you did when you were upset with someone or something when you were a young girl. You’d hide out in your room. But now I think it would be a good idea to find someone to help.”
Amanda jumped to her feet and walked over to her window. She looked out over Whispering Horse Ranch as she thought about Hannah’s words. Deep inside, she knew that her nanny was right. She decided to voice her thoughts.
“I saw a side to myself that I didn’t like at Thunder Valley Ranch,” she confessed softly. “I have not been a good friend to Luisa, yet I expected her to be always at my beck and call. She was always able to get me out of my scrapes or when I got myself in trouble, and I just expected her to always fulfill that role. As I got to know Stefan, I realized that I didn’t like the way I was, going to the dances in Albertson every Saturday and encouraging every young man who wanted to, to dance with me, like it was a privilege for them.” She said the last words scornfully.
“It never crossed my mind that I could have hurt someone else. That was what happened. Because I had decided that I wanted something a certain way, Luisa was hurt. I’ve decided that I don’t like that young woman. I’m trying to change.”
“That is good.” Hannah nodded approvingly. “I’m glad that you want to change and I have to admit that I have already noticed the changes in you. You came home a different person than you were before.” Hannah stood up and walked over to where Amanda was standing. She gathered her into her arms.
“I am proud of you, Amanda. You recognized that you need to change and you are doing what you can to make things right. But don’t spend too much time thinking about what you want to change. Action speaks louder than words.”
Amanda nodded. She grinned at her. “I don’t remember anything about my mother. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have her around. But I think if she was here, she would be just like you. You’ve raised me from the time I was a small girl and I’ve just realized that you have been like a mother to me.”
“Oh, dear,” Hannah said as tears filled her eyes and she hugged Amanda again. “Those are the nicest words anyone has ever said to me. I think of you as my own daughter, too.” She grinned at Amanda through her tears.
“It’s one of the reasons why I haven’t looked for another position.”
Amanda laughed. “I thought it was because you want to help me with my own children, someday.”
“There is that,” Hannah admitted as she laughed with her. “You are a fine young woman, Amanda. I am pleased with everything you have learned this last month, even if some of the lessons were painful. They are shaping you into who you are becoming.” She looked at Amanda intently for a moment. “Just don’t change everything. One of the gifts you do have is to show joy. You aren’t afraid to enjoy life to its fullest. There is nothing wrong with that, when it is directed in the right direction.”
After Hannah left, Amanda spent a long time thinking about the advice Hannah gave her. For the first time since she had left Thunder Valley Ranch, she began to fill optimistic about her future. She didn’t know what was going to happen, but she knew that she could handle anything that came her way, even though it might be hard or something she didn’t want to deal with.
She thought of the idea of doing something for others as a way to get her mind off her troubles.
She remembered that she had spent a few days at the local orphanage that summer before she had left for Thunder Valley Ranch. At the time, she had helped half-heartedly, mainly because it looked good to others that someone from her background was willing to give a few hours of time to the less fortunate.
But now she found herself wanting to visit the orphanage again, for a different reason. She quickly decided to spend the next day there. The moment she made that decision, she felt a peace fill her soul, something she had rarely felt before.
***
Early the next morning, Amanda left her bed, eager to start her day for the first time since she had come back home. She quickly dressed and ate breakfast with her father.
He seemed relieved to see her join him and pleased when she told him she was going to spend at least part of the day at the orphanage. Her driver, Jimmy, had the buggy waiting when she was finished with her meal. It didn’t take long for her to travel to the orphanage which was located at the other end of Albertson.
After instructing Jimmy to return after lunch, she made her way up the worn path and to the old building.
The orphanage was actually a historic home that a kind old lady had donated to the town in her will.
The mayor had immediately made the building into an orphanage, hoping to get some of the children who didn’t have homes and parents off the streets of the larger cities. He had been aware that the orphanages in those cities were usually full of children with no room to spare. He had hoped that providing another place for some of those children would make a difference in their lives.
Even though the house had been donated by the rich lady, the orphanage ran off of donations from the town and surrounding communities. It wasn’t uncommon for many young people to donate their time like Amanda was now about to do.
She let herself inside the house and made her way to where the matron’s office was located. The door was closed, so she knocked on it and immediately heard a strong loud voice asking her to enter.
“Hello,” she said as she walked inside the office.
The matron, Mrs. Reynolds, smiled. “Why, Miss Amanda. How nice to see you. I heard that you took a trip to Wilbourne. How was it?”
“It w
as nice,” Amanda answered, but didn’t elaborate. “I thought I’d come and help today.”
Mrs. Reynolds looked relieved. “I’m so glad to hear that. One of the teachers is out sick and I have a group of children that need care. How much time can you give me?”
Amanda quickly rearranged her schedule in her mind so that she could stay as long as she wished. She would send a message to Jimmy to return that evening instead of after lunch. “I can be here for as long as I’m needed today.”
Mrs. Reynolds stood. “Great.” She left the room and Amanda automatically followed. “I know that you have only helped with the younger children, but the older boys need some supervision.”
Amanda took a deep breath. “I haven’t ever worked with older boys, but I will do my best.”
She followed Mrs. Reynolds down a long hallway and up a set of stairs. “You won’t be alone with them. Miss Patty will be helping with them, but I have found that it’s best to have two adults with these boys.”
Amanda didn’t have a chance to ask why the boys needed two adults with them before she opened a door and then stepped aside so Amanda could enter. She could only hope that she would be of some help.
There were ten boys in the room in various state of dress. It was obvious that they had just woken up and were getting ready for the day. A few were already dressed and were making their beds.
Other boys were half-dressed but were chasing each other around the room. There was chaos all around her and Amanda took another deep breath. She almost wished she could change her mind and ask Mrs. Reynolds if she could help with the younger children or even the babies.
She wasn’t sure if she would be much help with these active boys. She really had never been around young boys before.
Mrs. Reynolds spent the next few minutes telling Amanda what she should do with the boys right then. Amanda suddenly felt so nervous, she didn’t process a word the matron was saying.
“Miss Patty should be here soon,” Mrs. Reynolds said with a kind smile. “If you have any questions, just ask one of the older boys. They know what to do.”
“What …” Amanda started to ask, but Mrs. Reynolds stepped out of the room and shut the door.
She stared at the closed door for a moment and then squared her shoulders. She could do this.
“Who are you?”
Amanda turned and looked down at three boys who staring at her suspiciously.
“I’m Miss Amanda Wright,” she answered as pleasantly as she could. “I’m going to be helping for the day.”
Two of the boys looked at each other as if communicating with their eyes and she wished that she knew what they were thinking. The third one scowled at her. “We don’t need no help.”
“If you didn’t, you’d be dressed by now, wouldn’t you?” Amanda asked, doing her best to ignore his bad grammar. She instinctively knew that correcting the boy wouldn’t go over well at that moment.
The boy flushed and one of the other boys elbowed him. Another boy snickered.
“What are your names?” Amanda asked.
The three boys didn’t say anything.
“If you don’t want to tell me, then maybe you should finish dressing and do whatever morning chores you have been assigned. I’m sure breakfast is going to be ready soon.”
The mention of food seemed to be the motivation to get the boys moving. They each walked to the side of their beds and began to dress. Another boy stepped up to her and whispered, “Watch out for those three. They like to cause trouble.”
Amanda looked at him in surprise. She studied the new boy for a moment. He seemed to be one of the oldest in the room. He was already dressed, and his hair was quite wet.
She wondered if he had been attempting to comb it, but it looked like he had just ducked his entire head into a bucket of water since quite a bit of it was dripping down the side of his face. His hair was plastered on the top of his head, but it definitely didn’t look like he had used a comb. She stifled a grin.
“What is your name?”
“Jonny, ma’am.” He reached up and wiped some water that had dripped into his eyes.
Amanda almost corrected him. She had never liked being addressed as ma’am, but she was also glad to see that he had some manners.
“Well, Jonny. It looks like you are ready for breakfast. Can you help some of the younger boys?”
He nodded and walked over to a young boy sitting on his bed. From what Amanda could tell, he hadn’t even started to get dressed yet. Tears ran silently down his cheeks.
She wanted to go and talk to the young boy, but she decided it would be best to allow Jonny to help him. She walked around the room, encouraging the boys to quickly finish dressing and making their beds.
She helped some of them comb their hair when she saw another boy try to dip his entire head in the washbowl, like Jonny had done. She wondered if it was their way to quickly comb their hair, but it sure spread water around.
When each boy was done, he would line up near the door, and Amanda figured that this was another ritual they performed; when they were ready for the day, they were supposed to line up so that they could be taken down to the dining room. It took another fifteen minutes, but they were all finally dressed and standing at the door impatiently. Most of them stood silently, but the three boys who had originally greeted her were taking turns slugging each other.
She wondered if she should put a stop to it or just ignore their antics. After a moment, she walked to the front of the line and decided that now would be the time to let them know who was going to be boss for the day.
“I’m Miss Amanda Wright,” she told them.
“Are you new here?” one boy asked.
“I’ll be helping for the day,” she responded.
“Figures,” the boy mumbled.
“I’d like to know each of your names before we leave.”
“Do we have to? I’m awful hungry,” the same boy asked.
“Yes, unless you’d like me to make up names to call you.”
Within a few seconds, she was able to get the names of all ten boys. She could only hope that she would be able to eventually remember them all.
The only person who didn’t respond was the young boy who had been crying. She wasn’t too concerned, knowing that she could find out his name easily enough later. She thought about asking the other boys what his name was, but she could tell that they were fast losing patience.
They were hungry and wanted to eat.
She took them down the stairs and into the dining room. The boys stayed in a fairly good line as they marched down the hallways, letting Amanda know that they were used to moving from room to room in this way.
Once they were in the dining room, they found their seats easily. Bowls of porridge and a piece of dry toast had been already placed in front of each chair.
Amanda expected them to immediately start eating the moment they sat down, but all of them sat in their chairs, their hands in their laps. A few seconds later, the dining room filled with more children until there were at least twenty-five orphans in the room. The boys sat on one side of the room while the girls sat on the other.
The matron quickly called on someone to say a prayer over the food and then the children began to eat. Amanda stepped to the side of the room and watched them.
She was impressed at how quiet the children were as they ate. She couldn’t keep her eyes off the young boy who had been crying. He looked to be about six years old.
He was very skinny, and he desperately needed a haircut. Something twisted in her heart at the sight. He seemed so sad. He was the only one in the room who hadn’t started to eat. Mrs. Reynolds stopped towards her.
