“I’m sorry, dear. That’s how it was for me, too. He’s a really good lay. It’s too bad he’s got no staying power outside the bedroom.”
I covered my mouth. The coffee from earlier was coating the back of my throat. I stumbled backward into a table. I held onto it a moment trying to find my balance, looking for an escape route, and feeling awash in cold from head to toe. I managed to skirt around her, forcing from my mind thoughts of him touching her the way he’d touched me.
I wobbled into the lobby restroom, only barely making it to one of the toilets in time to empty my stomach into it. After flushing, I rose on unsteady legs and came out of the stall.
I froze.
She had followed me in.
We stared at each other, our eyes clashing in the mirror.
No more. Please no more.
“You didn’t look good. I was worried.” She calmly swiped a wand coated in lip gloss over her lips and smiled at her reflection before turning to face me.
“Why did you tell me all that?” I whispered.
She shrugged. “I think you have a right to know since he’s doing us both at the same time. He’s unreliable, honey. Take it from someone who knows. He just couldn’t wait for me to get my mouth on him. He pulled me over behind the shrubs on the patio. He was so desperate for it. He pushed me down on my knees. Didn’t take me more than ten minutes of… how should I put this delicately, working on him before he was satisfied. But I’m sure you know that a lot of bad things can happen in a short time like that. With an unsupervised kid by the pool. Right?”
My vision tunneled. I didn’t even remember seeing her leave. I lingered in front of the mirror, my eyes burning holes in the pathetic little fool who never seemed to learn staring back at me.
CHAPTER FORTY
* * *
Bridget
I went through the motions, doing what had to be done.
Methodically.
Efficiently.
Emotionlessly.
I tried not to allow my imagination to wander, but inside of me a yawning chasm had been ripped wide open. It felt a mile wide, dark and desolate except for the echo of my self-chastising refrain.
I hated myself for loving him. This was worse than what had happened with Richard. I’d never really loved him anyway. But now my heart had been shattered. And my son’s would be as well.
I never should have trusted Justin. I never should have let him anywhere near Carter. All my fears had been realized. I wanted to curl up into a ball and die. Dig a hole. Toss my worthless broken dreams into it, and crawl in after them, pulling the dirt over myself. But I didn’t have that luxury.
It was time to wake up. Not from a tender kiss of true love on my lips but from a betraying slap in the face.
After I’d hastily packed and all the arrangements were made, I texted Justin to bring Carter back to the apartment. As soon as I heard his key in the lock, I went inside the bathroom and clicked the latch closed.
I was scared, sleep deprived, and my nerves had been savaged. I had to get away and get my head together somewhere far from him. I had Carter to consider, to protect. Justin had failed two people today.
“Hey, babe.” His voice slithered along the cracks in the door. I loved him so much. I was so tempted to open the door, so close to setting aside my pride, so close to abandoning my plan. But I couldn’t. He would just explain away everything that Antonia had said, and we would end up in this same spot again, a week or two from now.
I despised myself for being so weak where he was concerned.
Down the line, maybe we could talk and I could figure out where I had made my mistake with him, but it would be on my terms and at a time when I had better control of my emotions.
“You ok?” Justin rapped on the door. “We still on for dinner tonight?”
“Yeah.” I pulled in a quick breath and rubbed my hands across my chilled flesh. I couldn’t come out. I couldn’t let him see my eyes. I wasn’t that good of an actress. “See you later.” I’d practiced those words for the past hour. Now I just hoped he’d stay on script and that the closed door and the running water would muffle my wooden tone.
There was a long pause. I counted my thundering heart beats and waited.
“Ok, then. I love you.”
Liar.
Or maybe he just didn’t really understand what those words meant to me.
If I had been smarter, wiser, more cautious, and slowed all this down maybe I would’ve discovered that sooner, but either way, it didn’t matter. It didn’t change what I had to do now.
I waited five extra minutes just to be sure he’d actually left. When I finally stuck my head out the door, the apartment was eerily silent.
“Carter!” I yelled suddenly feeing panicky.
“I’m here.” He came out of the bedroom, saw me, and the book he had been reading fell out of his hand. “What’s wrong, Mommy.” He flew to me and threw his arms around my waist. I returned the hug, squeezing him tightly, desperate to grasp onto the only real love I had left, the only real love I’d ever had.
“Everything’s gonna be ok,” I said quietly as much for his benefit as my own. “We just have to hurry to catch a plane.”
“Ok. Mommy.” He peered up at me while biting his lip. “Where are we going? Is Justin going with us?”
My eyes hardened. “Not this time.”
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
* * *
Justin
I knew something was wrong as soon as I let myself back in the apartment. The quietness was palpable. A quick walk through confirmed the dread that encircled my heart.
Bridget and Carter were gone.
There was no trace of them. Housekeeping had already been through. The bed was freshly made. No books on the side tables. No juice boxes on the counter. No Lego models on the shelves.
It was as if they’d never been there at all.
I threw open their closet door. It contained only the new clothes I had purchased for her. Most were still on the hangers their tags still intact. A few lay in a neat pile on the floor. The ones she’d worn. They were freshly laundered and folded, and there was a note on top addressed to Lace along with a check made out to me.
I carefully set the note on the dresser. Then I took the check and ripped it to shreds. Just like her leaving me like this without saying a word had done to my heart.
I stood in the center of their bedroom for a while, worry mingling with anger that had me teetering on the ledge. Eventually I dropped onto the bed and glanced at my expression in the mirror. After a couple of deep breaths, I coaxed myself back from the brink. My brain came back on line. I pulled out my cell and tried her number. Even though I got the recording, the sound of her voice made me feel better.
I left a message: Babe, come back. I realize Antonia must’ve said something really terrible to you to make you leave. Whatever it was, it’s not true. I love you. You know I do. Talk to me. We’ll work it out. I’m worried about you.”
After that I left a flurry of messages with everyone I could think of: Lace, Bryan, Bridget’s boss at the coffeehouse, Maurice Trigg, even the principal at Carter’s school. And then a threatening one on Antonia’s voicemail that probably wasn’t a good idea considering her uncle’s connections to the Italian mafia. But fuck it. I was beyond furious with her.
The next step involved some detective work. I stormed down to the lobby and stirred everybody up. The manager called the staff that had been on duty earlier. The doorman remembered putting Bridget and Carter in a cab to the airport. So I made phone calls to Vancouver International and to every one of the airlines. Total dead ends all of them. I went ahead and booked a flight to Orlando.
I was going the hell after her.
There was a loud banging on my door just as I was cramming the last of my things into an overnight bag. I swiped my wallet and passport off the dresser and opened it. Lace and Bryan were standing out in the hall.
“What the hell is this?” Lace asked,
shaking the note in my face. Bryan put restraining hands on her shoulders while watching me carefully.
“How could you?” Lace whispered.
“I didn’t.” I pushed past them, hefting the strap of my bag higher on my shoulder.
“Come again?” Lace put a hand on my shoulder.
“Antonia’s a liar.” I sighed. “But I don’t have time to stop and explain. If you want to talk right now, you’ll have to ride with me to the airport. My flight leaves in an hour. I’m going to Florida and I’m bringing them back.”
***
Lace
Three thousand miles and three fruitless days of searching later, I was back at Orlando International, staring out at the tarmac despair washing over me as I watched the baggage handlers putting luggage on conveyer belts. I couldn’t stomach the view inside. Too many happy families, the way it’d been for us just days ago. A growing sense of helplessness was pressing on me, pushing me closer and closer to the tipping point.
I realized now why I’d never put my heart out there before. Because of shit like this. From the pinnacle to the pit. It hurt like hell, and was so much like the way I’d felt after my mom died that it was giving me nightmares and flashbacks.
All the days I’d been down here had been a waste. I had nothing to show for it, except for a threat of a restraining order from Maurice. He’d found my strong arm tactics and bullying attempts to extract information from him and his staff a tad over the line.
Her cell number had been cancelled. Her checking account closed out. She’d quit her job and pulled Carter out of school. They’d vanished into thin air.
I was exhausted, my eyes burning. What if I never saw them again? I couldn’t allow myself to think that way. It was hard enough already. The worry was so crushingly oppressive at times that it took all my strength just to keep moving forward.
I heard the final boarding call for my flight back to Vancouver. I shuffled down the sky bridge and found my seat. My fingers white knuckled the armrests the entire five hour flight. Not because I was afraid of flying, but because I was so close to shattering into a million sharp edged pieces.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
* * *
Justin
“You look like shit, JJ,” Lace judged after only a moment’s study out in the hallway the next morning. It was probably true, given that I hadn’t slept in days.
I was running on empty.
I was flying on fumes.
Bryan came out from the studio. I’d been in there earlier warming up with them, but had taken a break, trying to scrape my shit together. “Mary’s ready, dude.”
Yeah, I knew. She’d been sitting in the back of the room, tapping her nails on the screen of her iPad for the past ten minutes. Like I needed any more pressure.
“Give us one more minute, Bry.” I could feel Lace’s eyes on my face.
“Ok.” He kissed her and clapped me on the shoulder.
“I’m so sorry, Justin.” She threw her arms around me. Lace wasn’t free with her affection, so I hadn’t been prepared for the uncharacteristic display. My throat clogged up, emotions swimming close to surface threatening to drown me. “I thought for sure you’d have found her by now.”
“So did I.” I drew back from her embrace. “I’ve got to get in there.”
Shit.
“You can do this,” she encouraged, but the look in her eyes said she wasn’t so sure. Neither was I for that matter.
I followed her into the studio straight to the mic stand. No use messing around. I went right into the set and gave what I had, which wasn’t very much. The words seemed devoid of any meaning, my voice as hollow as I felt inside.
Mary gave Beth a narrow eyed look. I tried to plow on ahead, making a fucking travesty of “Girl behind the Glass.” I choked out the lyrics before Bryan picked them up and finished the song.
I unclipped my guitar from the strap, putting up my gear with sharp precise movements and avoiding eye contact. No one spoke, but I could feel the tension crackling in the air. I was halfway down the hall when I heard her call my name. I squeezed my eyes shut, muscles tensing, and turned around to face the music.
“That was awful.” Hands on her suited hips, the Black Cat CEO unsurprisingly did not appear to be pleased.
I nodded. “It was.” I totally agreed.
Mary Timmons was a good half foot shorter than me, but there was no doubt in my mind that she had the upper hand at the moment. Her light colored eyes flashed with annoyance. “Tell me I wasn’t wrong to take a gamble on you.”
“No,” I said without much conviction. I ran a hand through my hair, knowing I was on the verge of irreparably damaging my career. “I’ll do better on Friday.”
“That’s only a few days away, Justin.” She crossed her arms, fingers tapping on a forearm. “Has no one heard anything from her then?”
I stared at her dumbfounded.
“Don’t look so surprised. Of course I know about Bridget and Carter. I run a record label, not an insurance company. Drama is part of my business.” She cocked her head to the side. “Beth’s already made a few phone calls. I’ve got a private investigator working on it as well. We’ll find them. In the meantime, I want you to do whatever you need to do to get your head together. This is Tempest’s first gig with you at the helm. Don’t mess it up.”
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
* * *
Bridget
The baying of the buffalo soothed me as I washed and hung up the last of the milking equipment. I took the bandana off my head and used it to wipe the sweat from my brow.
If only I could wipe the memory of him just as easily from my mind. I missed him. Everything about him. His gentle touch. His poetic words. His enticing voice. His alluring arsenal of smiles.
I closed my eyes, forcing back the tears.
Again.
When I opened them, I spotted Don over in the far corner of the barn. He had his cell to his ear, probably calling in a feed order. I’d noticed the supply was getting low. I waved my hand to let him know I was going in. He nodded his understanding but his face wore a troubled frown.
I was miserable. I don’t think I was fooling anybody with my fake bravado, least of all myself.
In my rubber work boots, I trudged carefully though the sludge, taking a deep breath of manure free air when I finally got outside. As warm as it had been in the barn surrounded by the buffalo, it was cool enough outside that my breath frosted. The sun had just begun to peek over the top of the Cowichen Hills. The birds were chirping their good morning. A brisk breeze whipped my hair around my head. It was shaping up to be a beautiful day.
I wished I could conjure a mood to match it.
I gave myself a mental shake and made my way briskly up the well-worn path to the house, knowing Carter would be awake soon. I shed my dirty boots and left them on the stoop. I padded through the mudroom in my socks on the way to the kitchen for a much needed cup of coffee. Rheta was there. She paused in the motion of pouring one for herself.
“You don’t need to do chores, honey. You’re a guest.”
“I don’t mind, really,” I insisted. “I like helping out. Plus I enjoy being around the animals.” I went to the sink and washed my hands. I didn’t tell her the real reason. That I needed to stay busy to keep from feeling sorry for myself and to take my mind off the constant yearning I felt for him inside. When I finished drying my hands, she handed me a cup of my own.
“Well, I’m sure Don appreciates the help.” She moved to the table and took a seat on the bench, indicating that I should join her. She immediately pushed a plate of eggs and bacon toward me.
I threw my leg over the bench but ignored the food. I wrapped my hands around the mug and took a careful sip of the coffee. Extra strong. Just the way I liked it.
Her eyes narrowed. “You need to eat something.”
“I’m not hungry.” I didn’t feel much like eating these days. I looked away focusing on the view out the window above the sink. The
tree tops were swaying beneath the steady wind.
“Bridget.” Her warm hand covered my own, her expression revealing her concern. “If you’re going to work so hard on the farm, you can’t keep skipping meals. You’ve lost weight since you’ve been here.”
“But…”
“And you’re not sleeping either,” she cut in. “You’ve got circles under your eyes.” Her lips flattened in disapproval. “I haven’t wanted to push, but I just spoke with Avery. She told me that Justin’s been looking everywhere for you. I think it’s time we talked about what happened between you two.”
I lost my grip on the mug. It slipped out of my fingers and clattered onto the table. I’d worried he might pressure me. That’s why I had come here. To avoid a confrontation. To regroup. But instead of the tranquility I’d sought, I’d found myself sinking deeper into despair. Carter and I should’ve moved out days ago, but I hadn’t wanted to leave. I’d been clinging to this peaceful place like it was my only hope.
Rheta handed me a paper towel to clean up the spill. She’d been so gracious and patient with me. I owed her an explanation. I pulled in a deep breath and looked her in the eyes. “Mrs. Anthony,” I began.
She shook her head gently.
“Rheta,” I corrected myself. Before I could go any further, a chill ran down my spine as the sound of Carter’s voice reached my ears.
“No, Justin.”
I scrambled off the bench nearly face planting into the table in my haste to get to him.
As I rounded the corner from the kitchen, I instantly froze. Carter was on the house phone, twisting the old fashioned spiral cord in his hand.
“I can’t tell you. Mommy made me promise. She told me some people only love us for a little while, and then they stop.” I could hear in his voice how much he was hurting. Tears filled my eyes.
Rock Star Romance Ultimate: Volume 1 Page 132
