“I found humility, Margaret. My experiences over the last couple years have brought me humility, and that inevitable sweet surrender lends a certain—”
I stopped short when her face twisted up into something that conveyed incomprehension, maybe disapproval. She laughed nervously and said to me: “Michael, that’s Too-Much-Information, dear. I just meant you look different with the facial hair.”
Then, she winked at me. “Humility looks good on you.”
But not everyone saw this as a change, or what feels like a change, in me.
“Actually, you remind me now of when I first met you, just before you first went into politics,” my good friend Sandra D’Ambrosio said to me over lunch. “You were soooo idealistic, and so shocked that anyone would actually support you. It made people want to support you.”
There are indeed moments where present changes feel like a return to a much younger, maybe more innocent past, more than a rebirth. I suspect it’s probably too soon to risk any generalizations about such things. All I know is what it feels like.
It feels like I broke a giant string of Sadie’s beads, and I’m finding them all over the place. Sometimes one is discovered under a bare foot, and it’s surprising how much that can hurt. Sometimes the discovery is a marvel. At first it’s a big mess, then tidied up with some help from others, and everything looks better than ever.
Then you rediscover that it’s not so tidy. You don’t realize how fragile is that string, and how big a mess it will make, until it breaks.
That busted string of beautiful beads is gone for good, it seems, and I don’t really want it back. My universe changed in a half-minute, then I learned that misfortune never arrives alone. I learned that it gets better, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, even when it doesn’t always feel that way. And I learned how to do it on the sunny side of the street, away from those shadows of intemperance and pride, that dark, narcissistic mania; away from those shadows where Darcy Sheppard lived and died; and where I join so many who help, even as we are helped by, those deprived of light, soaked in a merciless night.
His death has awoken something in me. I know there are many people in my life who’d like me to “put all this behind” me. But I can’t. Not won’t, or shan’t, but can’t. I won’t forget him, his life, his death, and I won’t let you forget it either. How could I?
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Life is full of joy and suffering, spikes and lulls. The two people who always bring me to the best place are my kids Sadie and Louie. Thanks to them and their mom, Susan Abramovitch, for having them, for being a brave passenger during our 28 seconds, and for an epic and eternal partnership.
Thank you Nikki Holland for being Nikki Holland. Thanks to mentors Beverley McLachlin, Frank Iacobucci, Rosalie Abella, Roy McMurtry, Jim MacPherson, Dalton McGuinty, Les Scheininger, Tom Heintzman, Jan Innes, and John West. For saving my life, thanks to Susan, Marie Henein, Margaret Bojanowska, Jordan Glick, Matthew Gourlay, and Danielle Robitaille.
The book would not have happened without a lunch with my daughter’s friend’s dad, Doug Pepper, who encouraged me to write something down early and often. Nor would it have happened without Amanda Lang introducing me to her agent, Rick Broadhead (now mine too), who then introduced me to Diane Turbide, Publishing Director at Penguin. Thanks to Diane’s extraordinary team at Penguin; I’m especially grateful for Diane’s great compassion, editing, direction, and mentorship. Thanks to my high school English teacher, Mrs. Simpson (retired) of Mount Douglas Senior Secondary, for making me think I could write a book one day.
Nor would the book have happened without my family: Ray and Margaret Bryant, Janine Bryant Roy, Bob Roy, Matthew and Hailey Roy, my brother Alan, Sadie and Louie Bryant, and their mom, Susan Abramovitch.
Nor would it have happened without friends with poignant words of encouragement: Phoebe Alix, Denise Brunsdon, Jim C. (again), Cynthia Dann-Beardsley, Marie Henein (again), Michael Ignatieff, and Sam Nutt.
Thanks for spiritual support from Mel, MB, Kyra, Janet, Dan, Dionne, Greg, Ron, Kim, Brandon, Billy, Kelly, Anne, Gail, Mary, Bruce, Wayne, Michael, and everyone at my home group. Thanks also to Dr. Bruce Sutton and Dr. Eliana Cohen.
The aftermath of the 28 seconds saw heroic efforts of friendship and support from countless people, including many already referenced here and in the book, plus Brent Belzberg, Barry Campbell, Earl Cherniak, Max Cohen, Ian Delaney, Peter Dotsikas, Mike Eizenga, Andrew Evangelista, Joanne Ferstman, Neil and Marie Finkelstein, Sandy Forbes, Linda Frum, Stephen Granovsky, Stephen Grant, Mohammed Hamoodi, Julia Hanigsberg, Graham Henderson and Margo Timmins, Richard King, John Keefe, Gary Kissack, Amanda and Adrian Lang (Junior and Senior!), Michael McMillan, Will McDowell, Mihnea Moldoveanu, Paul Morrison, Ralph Palumbo, Robert Prichard, Linda Rothstein, Joe and Sandy Rotman, Gerry Sadvari, David Scott, Lorne Sossin, Fab Stanghierei, Harvey Strosberg, Louise Summerhill, John Tory, Jaime Watt, Ann Wilson, and Ben Zarnett.
There is no political journey to tell without Nikki, Jan, Les, Joe Ragusa, David Caplan (and the entire clan), Tom Allison, Mitch Frazer, Doug Frith (deceased), Dave Pretlove, Emily Bullock, Melissa Rola, Erika Moses, Debora Steggles, Catherine Bruder, Cara O’Hagan, Sarah Robers, Elaine Mintz, Betsy Hall, Joanna Furse, Chris May, Glen Brown, Howard Brown, Michael Joliffe, Kelly Legris, Kinsella, Mohammed Al Zaibek, Vera, Paul and Gord Brookes, Rod Elliot, Graham Kechnie, Kate Julien, Danielle Kotras, Nancy Medeiros, Katherine King, Andrea Bird, Alicia McFadden, Jason Murray, Lisa Gold, Joe Halicki, Daniel Infante, Alexis Levine, Beth Hirshfeld, Chris Holcroft, Stephen Delduca, Greg Crone, Natasha Holland, Adam Dodek, Linda Shin, Rod MacDonald, Paul Martin, Allan Rock, Terry O’Leary, David Hurley, David MacNaughton, John and Beth Webster, Tony Ianno, Christine Innes, Jeanette Harris, Keith Brennenstuhl, Senator David Smith, John Duffy, Tom and Mary Jane Heintzman, Mike Barrack, Will McDowell, Frank McKenna, David Peterson, Senator Grafstein, Peter O’Brien and Carolyn Bennett, but especially Carolyn and Peter. There are too many colleagues from the Legislature to mention.
Lastly, to friends who persevered amidst my dysfunctional Mr. Magoo moments, thank you. I was tardy, MIA and AWOL too often. Enough of all that.
INDEX
Note: Quotation marks around a name indicate a pseudonym. For simplicity, the following abbreviations are used in most main headings and in all subheadings: DS: Darcy Allan Sheppard; MB: Michael Bryant; SA: Susan Abramovitch. Unless otherwise specified, a relationship in parentheses after a proper name refers to that person’s relationship with Michael Bryant.
A
aboriginal rights, MB’s passion for, 28–30, 41, 191, 321
Abramovitch, Arlene, 38–39, 248
Abramovitch, Henry, 38–39, 248
Abramovitch, Susan, 5–8, 37, 60, 246, 313
actions after MB’s arrest, 142, 143, 145, 146, 149, 150, 156
career, 40, 42, 43
contempt and fear of policing, 149–50, 268
reaction in courtroom, 255, 259, 266, 267–68
state of mind after accident, 231, 232
See also relationship, MB and SA’s
accident. See events of August 31, 2009
addict-accuseds, 285–86, 290–91, 292
addiction and mental health, 285, 287–88, 289
See also alcoholism and MB; Sheppard, Darcy Allan: addictions
Akropolis Pastries & Pies, 14
alcohol industry, 294
alcoholics, list of famous, 102
alcoholism
costs, 102–3, 282–84, 295
as democratic, 274–75
politicians and, 101–2
tenets of recovery, 161, 194, 239, 280–81, 291
as voice in the night, 279
alcoholism and MB, 101–20, 271
admission, 119, 235
attends recovery meetings, 107, 120, 162, 256–57, 273, 318–19
blackouts, 105–6, 110–11, 118
consumes alcohol, 30, 37, 41–42, 59, 78, 103–7
denial, 10
4, 106, 109–10, 115–16
effect on family, 107–9, 113
effect on work, 108, 109
keeps journal, 112, 114–17, 119, 120
seeks help, 111, 118–19
stops drinking, 101, 118
Ali, Muhammad, 25, 236–38
Allen, Woody, 235
Allison, Tom, 51
Anheuser-Busch InBev N.V., 294
arrest, 129–30
Attorney General of Ontario, duties, 287
See also career (MB): Attorney
General of Ontario
Attorney General vs. Michael Bryant, 252
See also defence case for MB; prosecution case against MB
Atwood, Margaret, 84
autism funding, 63–65
automotive crisis, 97–98
B
Bailey, Misty (DS’s girlfriend), 121–22, 251, 255, 292
Ballantyne, Clifford, 24
Barnes, Kofi, 288
Barrack, Michael, 117
Bartolucci, Rick, 75
Barton, E. James (Jay), 167–73
Bassett, Isabel, 47, 48, 58
Beaulieu, Jean R., 87
Bennett, Carolyn, 47, 49
Bennett, W.A.C., 28
Bentley, Chris, 76, 200–201
Bentley, Paul, 249, 267
Bethell, Guy, 47
bike couriers and cyclists, 164, 249–50, 280
Black, Conrad, 300
Bliss, Michael, 58
Bojanowska, Margaret, 181, 184–85, 205
Bonfire of the Vanities, 4, 154, 166, 280
Bonkalo, Annemarie, 254
Bountrogianni, Marie, 64–65, 216, 217
boxing, 24–25
Boyd, Marion, 67
Boyle, Theresa, 52
breakfast club, Barton’s, 168–69
Brennan, Richard, 70, 72
Bressette, Tom, 93–94
Brougham, Henry, 308n
Bryant, Alan (brother), 23, 238, 247, 248
adoption, 312
biological mother, 313–15
career, 309–10
illness and death, 310–13
Bryant, Jimmie (grandfather; Papa), 18–20, 228–29
Bryant, Louie (son), 6–8, 150–51, 221, 319–20, 322–23
accident and, 155, 216–17, 246–47
parental split and, 317–18
Bryant, Margaret (mother), 18, 28–29, 228, 312
accident and, 217–18, 219, 247–48
battle with multiple sclerosis, 21–22, 231
returns to university, 26–27
Bryant, Michael
accomplishments, 2–3
appearance and clothing, 8, 10, 23, 132, 142–43, 144–45, 231–32, 323–24
on change, 324
childhood, 20, 22–27
competitiveness, 27, 28, 30
connected to DS, 222, 281, 296–97, 325
in debt, 42, 207, 231, 300
ego, 2, 25, 71, 93, 223–24, 233–34
empathy for DS, 15, 256–57, 260–61, 275, 280
houses and apartments, 6–7, 11–12, 42–43, 316–17, 319–20
humility and, 235–39, 254, 323–24
on judgment, 224–26
on luck and reversal of fortune, 1–2, 17, 32, 51, 57, 111, 138–39
morning routine, 6–8, 319–21
on police, 165, 199, 219
public’s post-accident reaction, 164, 180, 250
reaction to brother’s death, 313
reaction to dropping of charges, 244–45
reaction to DS’s death, 140
self-doubt, 79, 80
as single dad, 320–21, 322–23
spiritual beliefs, 44–45, 191–93, 229, 234, 235, 313
state of mind after accident, 132, 148, 156–57, 162, 176–77, 214–15, 218, 219–21, 223
state of mind during accident, 228
state of mind during incarceration, 134–35, 136–37, 138–39, 234
support for after accident, 156, 158, 159–73, 191, 223–24, 249, 296
survival techniques, 227–41
writes thank-you notes, 161–62, 233
See also career (MB); court appearance (MB); education (MB); events of August 31, 2009; media and MB; politics and MB; relationship, MB and SA’s
Bryant, Ray (father), 28–29, 228, 312
accident and, 217, 219, 247–48
advice to MB, 31, 59
career, 18, 20, 22, 33, 190
Bryant, Sadie (daughter), 6–8, 150–51, 222, 319–20, 322–23
accident and, 155, 216–17, 246–47
parental split and, 317–18
Bryant, Thomas (great-grandfather), 18
Bullock, Emily, 131, 246
Bush, George W., 69, 102
C
Caledonia standoff, 92
Campbell, Joseph, 232
Canadian Centre on Substance Abuse, 282, 284, 286
Canadian Club of Toronto, 99
Canadian Lawyer, 201
Caplan, David, 50, 75, 91
career (MB)
Attorney General of Ontario, 59–91, 108, 109, 287, 300–301, 305, 306, 308
Briefs by Bryant owner, 48
friends help, 34, 49
Invest Toronto CEO, 8–9, 99, 158–59, 217
law office summer student, 33–34
lawyer at McCarthy Tetrault, 43, 44, 211
lawyer at Ogilvy Renault, 166–67, 321
Minister of Aboriginal Affairs, 91–95, 97, 190, 192–93
Minister of Economic Development, 97–99
MPP for St. Paul’s, 47–59, 240–41
speeches, 65, 99–100
Supreme Court of Canada law clerk, 34–37, 39–40, 137, 303
swearing-in ceremonies, 60, 97
See also politics and MB
cars, 2, 8, 271, 322–23
Carter, Abigail, 155
case, extraordinary nature, 252
See also defence case for MB; prosecution case against MB
Cash, Johnny, 274
casino gaming, dispute over, 94
Catholic Bishops of Ontario, 84–85
CBC Radio, 89, 92
cell description, 135–36
See also Bryant, Michael: state of mind during incarceration
Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH), 282–83
change, MB on, 324
charges against MB. See criminal
negligence causing death; dangerous
driving causing death
Chrétien, Jean, 91
Christmas tree debacle, 88
Claudel, Paul, 239, 297
Clement, Tony, 97
Clinton, Hillary, 241
Cohen, Eliana, 235
Coleman, John, 167
Colle, Mike, 51
Conway, Sean, 58
Cooper, Roy, 303
Cornwall, First Earl of (Richard), 230
Cosell, Howard, 236
court appearance (MB), 248–49, 250–67
description of courtroom, 253
MB’s state of mind during, 253–54, 262, 266
Coutts, Matthew, 153
Creighton vs. Regina, 39, 137
crime statistics, 77
criminal justice system
addicts and, 284–85
back end vs. front end, 301–2
Canadian vs. American, 303
cost of fixing, 293–95
cost savings from Drug Courts, 288
critique of, 282, 285–89
miscarriages of justice, 304–5
presumption of innocence and, 302, 304
resources needed, 306
solutions for, 289–93, 307
criminal legal defence costs, 298–301
criminal negligence causing death
charge against MB, 246
MB assists in writing legal test for, 39–40, 137–38
Crone, Greg, 62, 70, 80, 88
D
D’Agostino, Pina, 249
D’Ambrosio, Sandra, 62, 245, 269, 324
dangerous driving causing death
charge against MB, 246
MB assists in writing legal test for, 39–40
daylight savings time, 69
Debevoise & Plimpton, 40
defence
costs, 298–301
disclosure, 208
relationship with prosecution, 201–2, 210
defence case for MB
costs, 206–7
“disclosure package,” 198–99
DS’s attacks on other motorists, 183–86, 187–89, 199, 254–60
experts, 207, 208–9
need to collect evidence, 157
possible trial and, 203
security surrounding, 187
strategy, 205, 206, 208–10
witnesses, 165–66, 179, 184–86, 188–89, 255–59
See also Henein, Marie
disclosure, 198, 208
Donne, John, 265–66
Dotsikas, Peter, 177
Doug D. (childhood bully), 23–24
Drug Court, 249, 253, 287–89
Duguid, Brad, 72, 163
Duke University lacrosse players, 303
Duke’s Cycle, 164–65
Duncan, Dwight, 76, 97
E
education (MB)
Harvard University, 40–41
Osgoode Law School, 30–32, 34
religious, 20–21
UBC, 28–29
UVic, 26, 27
Eizenga, Michael, 142
elections, Ontario, 46, 58, 91, 96
Elliot, Rod, 246
Ervin, Sam, Jr., 236
Esquimalt, 18, 19, 20, 22
Evangelista, Andrew, 143, 144, 145, 146–48, 156, 183
events of August 31, 2009, 121–33
accident as described by Richard Peck, 262–63, 264–65
altercation between MB and DS, 15–17, 123–27
DS’s death, 132–33, 264–65
DS’s movements prior to altercation, 121–22
as life-changing experience for MB, 3–4, 152–53
MB jailed, 134–44
MB prevented from speaking about, 157
MB’s movements prior to altercation, 5–14
police question and arrest MB, 128–30 H
public’s assumptions, 272–73
transcript of MB’s 911 call, 128
Eves, Ernie, 57–58
F
Faulkner, William, 103
fetal alcohol spectrum disorder (FASD), 276, 283
Finkelstein, Marie, 145
Finkelstein, Neil, 145
Finlay vs. Regina, 137
First Nations Elders, 191–93
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