When Cheri glanced up at the porch light, the oddest sound came from her throat—kind of like a strangled laugh. “You’ve got good aim, Tanyalee. I put his phone on speaker and I heard everything at the same time he did. Did you know that?”
Tanyalee felt slightly dizzy and severely sick to her stomach. “Oh, God, Cheri, no. I had no idea.” She wanted to stop. She wanted to run back to the car and never look back. She wanted to throw up. But she’d come this far and could not shy away now, even though the worst was yet it come.
“He insisted on an in-vitro paternity test,” she continued. “It showed he was the father and soon after that he proposed to me, though I don’t know if Granddaddy told him he had no choice or if J.J. did it out of a sense of honor. Then, well, you came to the wedding, of course, so you know about what happened next.”
“I surely do.”
“I lost the baby not long after the wedding. Do you remember how I implied it was your fault I had a miscarriage? I said that the same day I said you were to blame for Mama and Daddy’s—”
“Yeah. I remember.” Cheri got up from the rocker, crossed directly in front of Tanyalee, and headed down the porch steps. Tanyalee did not try to stop her, knowing that Cheri could do whatever she had to in order to get through this. She watched her sister walk off across the lawn toward the dock, her white T-shirt glowing in the twilight.
Tanyalee stayed on the porch. Her sister reached the end of the dock, hugged herself, and cried. Cheri’s shoulders shook for many minutes, and every once in a while Tanyalee heard her sister’s sad song join in with the crickets and loons. How awful did it feel, she wondered, to know your only sister had done everything in her power to ruin your life? How could a person ever recover from that kind of betrayal?
Eventually, Cheri wiped her eyes and turned toward the house, her face stony in the dim light. Tanyalee took that as a sign that Cheri was ready to hear the last bit.
She raced to the end of the dock, gently placing her hand inside her sister’s. Cheri didn’t pull away. It was the first time they’d touched in months, since the day Cheri had tried to hug her, right here at the lake house, not long after she’d returned to take over for Granddaddy at the Bugle. Now, Tanyalee was shocked by the feel of Cheri’s warm hand, so small and defenseless in her own.
Just then it hit her. She’d been soaking in envy and resentment for so long that she’d forgotten the truth of who Cheri was—her own flesh and blood, her family, the one person who’d known her better and longer than any other human being on earth.
Cheri was her sister, and her hands were the exact size and shape of her own. They were Mama’s hands.
“I lied to you about the divorce, too,” Tanyalee said, feeling her knees weaken. She told herself she was almost finished, that she could push through the last minutes. “J.J. never cheated on me, Cheri. He never mistreated me or lied to me or spent a dime of my money. I told you all that because I wanted you to think he was awful and write him off.”
Cheri nodded gently. “Well, you did a real fine job with that.” She pulled her hand away, and Tanyalee didn’t try to stop her.
“And all that nonsense about the miscarriage … just more lies meant to hurt you. I told you I was stressed out because I knew you and J.J. were carrying on behind my back. I made up all that garbage, of course. It was no one’s fault that I lost the baby. And then I did something so shameful … so horrible…”
Tanyalee suddenly couldn’t get enough air. Her legs felt like they were about to fold. Cheri touched her elbow and guided her over to one of the Adirondack chairs, sitting down next to her. “Go on,” she said. “Finish.”
“The baby…” Tanyalee couldn’t hold back the tears a second longer. She’d tried, but this last bit was so disgraceful she could barely spit out the words let alone do it dry-eyed. Dr. Leslie was the only other person she’d ever admitted this to, and afterward, it took days for Tanyalee to be able to look her therapist in the eye.
“After I lost the baby, I seduced some man I barely knew, took him to the Tip-Top Motel, and tried to get pregnant again, hoping that J.J. would never find out. But the doctor’s office left a message on the answering machine about my follow-up appointment, and that’s how he learned what had happened. He came looking for me and found me at the motel … oh, God … and—”
“Why, Tanyalee?” Cheri had leaned closer, peering up into her downcast eyes.
“Because J.J. wouldn’t touch me after we were married! I had to go to someone else to—”
“That’s not what I’m asking.” Cheri’s voice was clipped and angry. “I want to know why you let it get so twisted and ugly and why you let all the lies go on for so long. Why didn’t you just tell J.J. the truth and let him go? Why didn’t you simply tell me what had really happened?”
Tanyalee looked up into her sister’s face, shadowed by nightfall. It was probably for the best, she realized. The dark made it easier to get to the heart of dark things. “I didn’t give a rat’s ass about the truth,” she answered. “I’d backed myself into a corner, yes, but the most important thing to me—still—was that you would never want to see J.J. or this town again.”
Cheri pulled back and straightened in the chair, wrapping her arms around her chest as if suddenly cold. She shook her head and sighed deeply. “What a freakin’ tragedy.” She glared at her. “If you’d put all that effort into something positive, you could have changed the world, Tanyalee. You’d be president of the United States by now.”
The sisters sat together at the end of the dock lost in their own thoughts, the minutes ticking by. Tanyalee fully expected the evening to be over, that she would leave and never be welcomed into her sister’s world again.
“So, exactly what do you want from me?” Their gazes locked. Neither moved.
“You’ve already given me everything I needed,” Tanyalee said with genuine gratitude. “You’ve given me the time and place to make amends to you, and doing so will help me start over, live a life without lying, manipulation, and jealousy. Just sitting here and listening to me has been the most generous gift you could ever give me.”
Cheri’s brows squeezed together. “Is that your goal, then?”
“Ab-so-lutely.”
A pair of high beams flashed up the drive, blinding them. The sound of tires crunching on gravel was deafening until the pickup truck slid to an abrupt stop at the edge of the lake.
“J.J?” Cheri stood up, resting her hands on her hips as her husband jumped from the truck and came charging down the dock. “What in the world—”
“Are you all right, Cheri? Where’s your phone?” J.J. ran his hands up and down Cheri’s arms. He flashed a look of sheer hatred toward Tanyalee, who pressed back into the Adirondack chair.
“I’m absolutely fine and my phone’s in the house. I told you Tanyalee would be—”
“I’ve been calling you for hours and you didn’t pick up. I thought…” He glanced toward Tanyalee again. “I worried something might have happened.”
“Oh, Lord-ee,” Tanyalee muttered. She saw J.J.’s body go rigid. Suddenly it was uncomfortably quiet, and though she hadn’t planned to do this tonight, Tanyalee stood up and looked her brother-in-law and ex-husband right in the eye. “J.J., I have spent the evening making amends to Cheri for everything I’ve ever done to hurt her. Now that you’re here, I’d like to—”
“Spare me.” J.J.’s bitter laugh carried across the water and startled the loons. They screeched, flapped, and splashed toward the opposite bank. “Look, Tanyalee, I’m gonna be real direct with you. I don’t trust a word that comes out of your mouth—never have and never will. You did a lot of shitty things, and hey, that’s your burden to carry. I’m carrying around my own, and I take full responsibility for my part in what happened, though I’m still furious for being so damn stupid. But here’s the most important thing—I love Cheri, and I will stand by my wife, no matter what. If you’ve made your peace with her, fine. I won’t get in the way. But—”
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Cheri touched his arm.
“I need to say this, darlin’. You gotta let me get this out.”
Tanyalee was determined to maintain eye contact with J.J. even as he punished her with words meant to draw blood. Why not? She supposed J.J. deserved his moment of revenge.
He leaned in closer to her. “I’m not seeing any rainbows and unicorns here, Tanyalee, just a Grand Canyon–sized pit of mistakes and pain that can’t be patched up in one night. So don’t expect a lot from me. No courteous small talk. No ‘how are yous?’ Not a speck of forgiveness. You got that?”
Cheri’s eyes flashed toward Tanyalee. It may have been a trick of the night, but she thought for sure her sister had just offered her a nod of support.
“I understand just fine.” Tanyalee smiled politely. “Now if you will excuse me, I’ll let the two of you enjoy your evening.”
She hurried down the dock, anguish and relief twisting in her gut as she choked back tears. And then—oh! Of all things! Tanyalee realized she’d left her Dooney & Bourke on the front porch and had to go back to get it. Immediately after, she ran toward the car and the promise of escape.
She just wanted to go home.
“Tanyalee, wait.” Cheri rushed up to her side and touched her elbow. “I have something I need to say, too. It won’t take long.”
Tanyalee leaned against the side of the Cadillac, suddenly exhausted beyond belief. Behind Cheri she could see J.J. lazily making his way down the dock toward the lawn, hands in his pockets, eyes focused like lasers on Tanyalee.
Cheri’s voice was soft. “It takes two sides to sustain a war, and I am sorry for my part in all of this. I forgive you, Tanyalee. Please forgive me.”
She let go with a strangled sob, too shocked and thrilled to say actual words. All she could do was reach out for her sister’s hands and squeeze. Hard. And they hung on to each other like that, without pretense. Her sister forgave her! How could a person be so openhearted? So kind? It was unthinkable!
They continued to grip each other’s hands for several moments, both of them crying, neither ready to let go.
Eventually, Cheri pulled one of her hands away so that she could stroke Tanyalee’s hair, and she did so with tenderness. It was an overwhelmingly familiar sensation—for good reason, Tanyalee figured. Cheri has our mama’s hands.
“Someday soon, you know what I’d like us to do together?”
Tanyalee shook her head, still holding on to her sister. “No, what?”
“Let’s go see Mama and Daddy. Pay our respects and tell them we’ve finally stopped fighting. I think they’d like to hear that.”
Tanyalee looked into her sister’s eyes with wonderment. “We’ve never once gone there together, have we?”
Cheri shook her head. “Not since the day of the funeral. We’ve got a lot to tell them.”
Tanyalee sniffled. “Should we start at the beginning and approach it chronologically? Or should we work our way backward?”
Cheri just smiled.
“It doesn’t really matter, does it?” Tanyalee smiled, too. “As long as we tell the story together.”
Chapter 17
Tanyalee was so excited and nervous that anyone would think it was her bakery having its grand opening and her lifelong dream coming to pass. Which would be an honest enough mistake, since Tanyalee wasn’t known for her outpouring of genuine happiness on someone else’s account.
Life sure was full of unexpected twists these days.
Candy popped out from the kitchen, her cheeks pink and her eyes sparkling. She was headed across the hall toward her office when she noticed Tanyalee behind the counter. She hurried her way.
“Tanyalee! Thank you! Thank you for everything!” Candy pulled her into a quick and tight hug and kissed her cheek. Tanyalee tried not to react with surprise, and instead returned the embrace, noticing that Candy was clearly getting rounder and softer by the day.
“Maybe you should sit for a minute and put your feet up.” Tanyalee knew that Candy had been baking all night for the grand opening, and the last thing they needed was for the pregnant baker to be too tired to enjoy her big day. “I’ll just get you a sweet tea and—”
“I’m absolutely fine, but thank you.” Candy pulled back and smiled at her. “I wanted you to know that I couldn’t have done this without you, Tanyalee. Your design instincts were perfect, and it has been such a comfort to know I could rely on you to show up on time and do what needed to be done and then some. You kept me on schedule, and I feel lucky that you’re going on this journey with me.”
“Oh!” Tanyalee must have sounded like a dullard, but she could think of no way to respond to all that praise. Though many had admired her taste through the years, no one had ever accused her of being reliable and hardworking. Yet another first.
“And you look very pretty today.”
“Thank you!” Tanyalee touched the neckline of the vintage cocktail dress and fiddled with her pearls. The touch of her fingertips against the smooth, individually knotted gemstones always seemed to center her. “You look beautiful as well, Candy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so beautiful.”
Candy patted Tanyalee’s forearm and smiled, then glanced around the dining room. “Are there any last-minute issues I need to know about?”
Tanyalee shook her head and gestured widely. “We’re fully stocked with product and ready to refill from the back. The register is prepped and we’re online for credit authorizations. Five different coffees are ready, along with hot water and cold tea, and our refrigerated case is loaded with all the juice and soda we could need. Fern will be clearing off the café tables during the event and the Asheville TV news crew is set to arrive at about twelve-thirty.”
Candy took a deep breath and brought her knuckles to her lips, as if she were about to break into tears. Frankly, Tanyalee felt damn near waterlogged from all the crying lately, her own and that of others. No one ever mentioned that living honestly would require stocking up on tissues and handkerchiefs.
“It’s going to be wonderful, Candy. Please don’t worry.”
She whipped her head around, eyes wide, then broke into a huge smile. “Oh, I’m not worried in the least! It’s just that … well, this is the happiest day of my life, Tanyalee.”
As if on cue, Turner Halliday burst through the front door. The instant he made eye contact with Candy, he whipped out a huge bouquet of flowers from behind his back and made a beeline right to her, eyes flashing. Tanyalee worried she was about to witness a private moment, so she made herself busy stacking menus that didn’t need to be stacked and fluffing napkins that didn’t need to be fluffed. But she couldn’t help but sneak a peak.
The handsome sheriff grabbed his lovely fiancée, gently supported her back and dipped her as he laid a spectacular kiss on her lips. Tanyalee nearly gasped—it was a kiss worthy of a Hollywood romance. And she immediately thought of Dante.
Dante.
Tanyalee grabbed her cell phone from her bag and moved from behind the display case and into the dining room. She stood by the picture window, looking out from behind the glittery letters that spelled out CANDY PANTS BAKERY. What she saw was a pretty enough scene—the Great Smokies serving as the backdrop to the quaint brick and clapboard buildings of her little mountain town. And for the very first time in her nearly thirty years, a question found its way into her mind. Was this was where she planned to spend the rest of her days? Would she ever leave Bigler? Was there anything better out there for her, and if so, would she be brave enough to go looking for it?
Tanyalee touched her forehead to the cool glass, smiling to herself. Of course she was brave enough! In fact, now that she knew just how resourceful and honest she could be, she could do anything she set her mind to. True, Granddaddy had offered to help her financially, which she greatly appreciated, but Tanyalee knew the time had come to do it on her own, without the help of a granddaddy or sugar daddy.
But … what would she do about Dante?
She
checked her phone. He had called already this morning but left no message. Tanyalee decided that once the grand opening was done, she would call him back. They could talk things out, clarify what they were doing with each other and what they wanted from each other. Because, really, Tanyalee didn’t quite know how to label their strange and powerful connection. Dante was only supposed to be a one-time thing, a quick fling before she went home to the business of living a new life.
And now here they were, months later, and Dante had become a part of her new life.
It suddenly dawned on Tanyalee why she hadn’t been able to understand their relationship—it was because it was an alien experience. For the first time in her life she was frighteningly attracted to a man who seemed to have her best interests at heart. She wanted to be with a man because of who he was and how he made her feel, not what he could do for her.
And more importantly, it suddenly occurred to her she was being ridiculous! How could she refuse to forgive Dante because he had withheld details from her? She’d just gone around seeking forgiveness from half the town!
Tanyalee heard herself gasp. Lord love a duck! What am I waiting for?
She stepped out onto the sidewalk and called him. It had been two long weeks—two weeks without seeing him, touching him, smelling him—and she couldn’t bear it anymore. As the phone rang she tapped her foot on the sidewalk, suddenly aware of the bite of autumn in the air.
What? She got his darned voice mail?
“Hello. This is Tanyalee and I am calling you back,” she said into the phone, rather snippily. “I was hoping you would pick up since I do believe we have a few things to—”
“Can’t talk.” Dante’s deep voice was hushed and hurried, but it was enough to send a little thrill through her belly. “See you later at the bakery.” Click.
Tanyalee stared at the silent phone. Well, I never!
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