MARRYATT-SMITH
Ceramics we’ve talked about. Modern British. Nothing there, Francis? Printed Books. No? Furniture and Carpets. Toby? No? I could have stayed in Mumbai. Old Master Drawings. Jelley?
There is a very definite silence.
I thought we were a little depleted. Too much to hope that Jelley would occasionally vouchsafe us with his presence. What’s the state of play on the catalogue?
DUNLOP
His proofs are three days overdue as it is.
CRESSWELL
One of these days we’ll go into a sale and there won’t be a catalogue.
MARRYATT-SMITH
You paint a nightmare picture, Nigel. Still, scallywag though he is we’re very lucky to have him. Jelley is a little bit of a genius. Well, I think that’s all apart from the Old Masters next week. Since sterling is still suffering from a certain morbidezza one is hopeful of a few records tumbling. The Rembrandt naturally. I know a question mark hangs over it, but it is only a question mark, and I’m utterly convinced. And of course Rembrandt as we all know is in the melting pot. Even my beloved Polish Rider has been unhorsed. It’s a beautiful picture and it would be nice to get a beautiful price. Chloe. How is the publicity? Nice if we could get some coverage on the old telly box. Last time one felt a little under-exposed.
CHLOE
The sale did clash with the royal wedding.
CRESSWELL
No contest in my opinion.
CHLOE
Record-breaking sales are losing their novelty.
MARRYATT-SMITH
Oh are they? Why? Famines don’t lose their novelty. All those terrible children. Never off our screen. Publicity is vulgar, I know that, but that’s how we get the business. You see, Chloe, the fewer collections we get, the fewer collections we get. Nobody wants to fuck somebody nobody wants to fuck. I’m sorry to have to use that word, Chloe, but unless you buck your ideas up it is a word you will find I shall be using more and more. Charm, Chloe, that’s what it’s about.
He gets up, indicating that the meeting is ending.
Pity the Arabs are such a tasteless lot. The Saudis. All those marble walls going up in the middle of the desert. Walls aching for pictures. Tables begging for bibelots. Incidentally, Saudi … Sow or Saw?
DUNLOP
Sow. Sowdi.
MARRYATT-SMITH
Well at least I’ve learned something. To your barrows, gentlemen. Let’s get the stuff shifted.
CRESSWELL
Mumbai isn’t leaving us a tad overexposed?
MARRYATT-SMITH
What gives you that idea? (Dunlop, plainly.) And if we were, the Rembrandt will see to that.
Vanessa comes in and whispers something.
Oh good. Excellent. Have the picture brought up.
As the meeting breaks up Jelley appears, a fat, disorganised and likeable man holding a bulging file under his arm.
Ah, Jelley. Do you come bearing proofs?
JELLEY
Proofs. No. I mean, yes. I’m nearly through. It’s just that I got interested in the background of something …
CRESSWELL
We’re waiting to go to press …
MARRYATT-SMITH
Don’t, Jelley. Don’t get interested. Barrow-boys, Jelley. Barrow-boys.
JELLEY
Barrow-boys?
We follow Marryatt-Smith as he strides through his empire, accompanied by Cresswell.
MARRYATT-SMITH
I’m sure everything you say about Moberley is true but he has done Trojan service. And he adds colour. He caters to a certain rather naive, by which I suppose I mean American, view of what we are ‘about’. Something you might do is read the Riot Act to Jelley.
CRESSWELL
That means I have to go into his room.
Marryatt-Smith pulls a sympathetic face and goes on.
INT. GARRARD’S, STOCKROOM – DAY
Chris and Ollie are still waiting at the counter, when the phone rings. A handful of other porters wait with them.
STOREMAN
As you were. Mr Moberley wants you upstairs.
Chris and Ollie get back in the lift.
INT. GARRARD’S, MARRYATT-SMITH’S ROOM – DAY
Looking out of the window is Steiner, an American with a trace of a foreign accent. A big man, he looks like a butcher, which he is, the millionaire owner of a chain of meat-packers and canneries. He is accompanied by Norman, his accountant, also American, but not so big.
VANESSA
Can I get you anything? Coffee? Sherry?
Steiner shakes his head, takes down an art book from the bookcase and idly flips through it.
NORMAN
Max. Why are we here? Is it business or pleasure? Which hat am I wearing? Is it the museum or the slaughterhouse?
STEINER
(sweetly because Vanessa is still in the room)
You take your hat off, Norman.
She goes.
NORMAN
I fuck take my hat off. You are broke, Max. That is my duty to tell you.
STEINER
Norman. I just bought a factory.
NORMAN
We don’t have the money.
STEINER
We have it if they think we have it. We need the picture. The picture is part of the strategy. The picture is part of the picture.
NORMAN
It’s not deductible.
STEINER
The deduction is peanuts anyway.
NORMAN
They don’t have deductions here. Gift it to a museum, you get nothing. Art’s been around too long. The uplift factor is nil, virtually. So … no deduction. What is this picture?
STEINER
It’s a Rembrandt. Maybe.
NORMAN
Maybe? Jesus. So why do we buy it?
STEINER
Maybe we don’t. Maybe we let them buy it for us.
INT. GARRARD’S, HOIST – DAY
Moberley, Chris and Ollie in the hoist, all in white gloves, bringing up the Rembrandt. And, it being a Rembrandt, there’s a security man with them.
INT. GARRARD’S, MARRYATT-SMITH’S ROOM – DAY
MARRYATT-SMITH
You’ve been offered sherry, I hope, No? And I can’t tempt you to some Malvern water? Shopping?
STEINER
So far as Norman allows me to.
MARRYATT-SMITH
I’d heard you were here.
NORMAN
Yes?
MARRYATT-SMITH
You were in Agnews, I’m told. Looking at their Bassano. Nice little picture. A trifle shop-soiled now, I would have thought. Did you like it?
STEINER
I don’t go in for crucifixions much.
MARRYATT-SMITH
Oh?
And the note is ‘You don’t know what you’re missing’.
STEINER
I saw one once. A real one.
MARRYATT-SMITH
Oh dear. That would be in Europe, I take it. They tend not to happen here.
There is a knock at the door.
Moberley comes in with Chris and Ollie carrying the Rembrandt.
MARRYATT-SMITH
That face. How well one knows it.
Steiner looks at the Rembrandt.
How’s the museum?
STEINER
Good, good. It’s doing good.
MARRYATT-SMITH
On schedule?
NORMAN
It had better be.
STEINER
What do you think, Norman?
NORMAN
How much?
MARRYATT-SMITH
Who knows. Fifty. Sixty. A hundred.
NORMAN
Fifty million. Dollars or pounds?
MARRYATT-SMITH
Pounds, naturally.
CHRIS
(under his breath but loud enough for Norman to hear)
That includes the frame.
STEINER
I can remember t
he time when you were embarrassed to talk money in England. And it made a change. Now, you are not embarrassed. Here is the same as everywhere else. Money.
MARRYATT-SMITH
Progress.
NORMAN
Is that a hair? (He peels it off the painting.) Mind if I take it?
STEINER
Norman, Norman.
MARRYATT-SMITH
(with a pained smile)
No, please. Compliments of the house.
NORMAN
Felicia is a sucker for that sort of thing.
MARRYATT-SMITH
How is butchery? You bought a cannery yesterday.
STEINER
Did I? Did I, Norman?
MARRYATT-SMITH
The FT says you did.
Marryatt-Smith nods and Moberley and the boys leave.
NORMAN
I have to tell you, Max we don’t have that kind of money right now.
STEINER
In which pocket?
NORMAN
In any pocket.
STEINER
Such a pity.
NORMAN
You’re going to have to pass this one up.
MARRYATT-SMITH
Really? Oh dear.
STEINER
A record price would do you no harm, right?
MARRYATT-SMITH
Of course.
STEINER
It would put paid to the rumours.
MARRYATT-SMITH
Rumours?
STEINER
About the painting. And last year’s drop in profits.
MARRYATT-SMITH
Newspaper talk. But tell me, I’m all in favour of a record price but why should you want to pay more than you have to?
STEINER
Come. A record price suits us just as much as it suits you. Puts the museum on the map. Impresses the … punters?
MARRYATT-SMITH
It’s difficult at the moment. What arrangements were you thinking of?
STEINER
An advance on the purchase price paid back over a specified period. Guarantee of authenticity or return of goods. You’ve done it before.
MARRYATT-SMITH
Have we?
NORMAN
(to Steiner)
It’s the only way we can do it as of this moment. Otherwise you’re going to have to walk away.
Steiner looks at Marryatt-Smith and shrugs helplessly.
INT. GARRARD’S, CORRIDOR PASSING THE VALUATION DEPARTMENT
Chris and Ollie (and the security man) carry the painting back towards the main room and we leave them as they pass by the valuation department.
INT. GARRARD’S, VALUATION DEPARTMENT – DAY
Here various clients are waiting to have estimates put on their possessions. Some have pictures, others porcelain wrapped in newspaper. The atmosphere is not unlike that of a doctor’s waiting room, though here there tends to be just one disease, avarice.
Two staff are on duty: Cresswell, whom we have already seen and disliked, and Veronica Cavendish, a big, decent upper-class girl.
Some of the ensuing dialogue is background or half heard as the camera concentrates increasingly on Efrem Beck, a shabby, overcoated figure with a briefcase. He is in his sixties, and though unprepossessing in appearance he is scornful, knowledgeable and obviously impatient. Cresswell is dealing with a Woman who has brought in a miniature.
WOMAN
It’s been in the family a long time. It was always said to be my great-grandfather.
CRESSWELL
And was he anybody of interest? A politician. A builder of railways? What did he do?
WOMAN
I believe he had a draper’s shop.
BECK
(audibly)
It’s rubbish!
Veronica has now finished with her client. She takes a deep breath.
VERONICA
Mr Beck. Good morning. What have you got for us today?
Beck takes out a small unframed painting.
Would you like us to sell this for you?
BECK
Maybe. That depends on what you think it is.
Cresswell, while dealing with his own drab customer, has been eavesdropping. He now intervenes.
CRESSWELL
Mr Beck. If you don’t want us to sell your pictures why do you keep bringing them in?
BECK
I’m sorry. Was I dealing with you? I thought I was talking to this very civil young lady here. Did you see my pictures?
He has taken an album of photographs out of his bag.
VERONICA
(kindly)
I have, yes.
Beck flicks through.
Yes, yes …
We move away from them as Veronica patiently looks through the photographs in Beck’s album, a polite smile on her face.
Cut to:
Chris coming from the stockroom and arriving in the valuation department, where Beck is still talking to Veronica. Chris waits in the background.
BECK
OK. So you don’t believe. But you’re a nice young woman. Now I show you something you haven’t seen.
He turns to the back of the book and takes out a photograph. It is a photograph of a page of drawings, studies of various hands, grouped around a larger drawing, that of a hand with a ring on the finger. We see Veronica’s own hand stray across the photograph and touch the central hand.
VERONICA
No. I haven’t seen this. What is it?
BECK
‘What is this? What is this?’ Always ‘What is this?’ Look with the eyes, young woman. Trust your judgement. What does it look like?
VERONICA
I know what it looks like … but a photograph of a drawing … it’s very hard.
BECK
I know, I know.
CRESSWELL
Need any help?
BECK
No.
CRESSWELL
Next.
VERONICA
Can I take it away a moment and show it to somebody?
BECK
Who?
VERONICA
Mr Marryatt-Smith.
BECK
The Chairman? What does he know? He’s just a Mickey Mouse.
VERONICA
I don’t know if Mr Jelley is in.
BECK
Ah, Mr Jelley. Yes. Show it to Mr Jelley. I will come with you.
VERONICA
No. I’m sure Mr Jelley will come down.
Beck gives the photograph to Veronica and we follow her out of the room and upstairs, up a side staircase where she knocks at a door. No reply, so she goes in.
INT. GARRARD’S, JELLEY’S ROOM – DAY
The room is incredibly untidy.
VERONICA
Brian.
JELLEY
(out of view)
Out. Busy.
VERONICA
Brian. Can I just try something on you?
JELLEY
(out of view)
No. Out, darling. Get shot otherwise. Seriously.
Jelley actually does emerge, proofs in hand and eating, but Veronica has gone. She goes back down the stairs and runs into Moberley in the corridor.
VERONICA
Mr Moberley. Have you any thoughts about this? Does it ring any bells?
Moberley looks at the photograph.
Has it been through the rooms before?
MOBERLEY
Who’s the vendor?
VERONICA
Nobody. He’s not really selling. (Shamefacedly.) Mr Beck.
Moberley groans and shakes his head. He pats her arm.
MOBERLEY
Ask him to bring in the drawing.
VERONICA
He won’t. You know what he’s like.
MOBERLEY
Just tell him ‘Yes, it is Michelangelo’, that he’s got hold of another masterpiece and say you don’t know how he does it.
He goes back into his office, s
haking his head, as Veronica heads back to the counter then changes her mind and heads for Marryatt-Smith’s office.
INT. GARRARD’S, MARRYATT-SMITH’S ROOM – DAY
Steiner is just leaving, ushered out by Marryatt-Smith.
STEINER
I know the way out.
MARRYATT-SMITH
No, no. We lose more clients that way. Go in, Veronica. I shall return.
Veronica goes in and we perhaps just glimpse her looking along the bookshelves and taking down a large tome on Michelangelo.
INT. GARRARD’S, ENTRANCE – DAY
Marryatt-Smith leaves Steiner in the entrance hall and turns back.
DUNLOP
God, he looks a ruffian.
MARRYATT-SMITH
He is. But we mustn’t look for virtue among the collectors of art. As soon look for intellect among the lovers of opera.
INT. GARRARD’S, VALUATION DEPARTMENT – DAY
Valuation desk. Marryatt-Smith is passing through, having taken Steiner to the door. Cresswell is dealing with a Vicar.
VICAR
Somebody said Stubbs.
CRESSWELL
They would.
VICAR
Just off the top of their head.
Beck is hovering near to the conversation trying to get a glimpse of the item. Marryatt-Smith notes him and hurries on to his room.
INT. GERRARD’S, MARRYATT-SMITH’S ROOM – DAY
MARRYATT-SMITH
(looking at the photograph)
No. No, no, no, no. Of course if it were we could shut up shop and buy that villa in Tuscany. Or why stop at a villa. Buy Tuscany.
VERONICA
It seemed too good to be true.
MARRYATT-SMITH
Yes. I glimpsed Mr Beck downstairs. This isn’t one of his?
Veronica smiles apologetically.
Oh, Veronica, Veronica. You know Mr Beck.
VERONICA
Yes, I do, but …
MARRYATT-SMITH
He is a rag-and-bone merchant. He hates auction houses. He hates dealers. And sometimes I think he has been retained by Sotheby’s with the specific purpose of driving me into a mental institution. No, no, no.
And yet he is still looking at the photograph.
He hands the photograph back to her and she takes the drawing. Nevertheless as she is going we see Marryatt-Smith, about to replace the book on Michelangelo Veronica has been consulting, have second thoughts and open it himself.
Catching up with Veronica as she passes Moberley’s office we note that he is deep in study of his catalogues.
INT. GARRARD’S, VALUATION DEPARTMENT – DAY
Cresswell is still dealing with the Vicar.
CRESSWELL
A reserve of £500 ought to be ample. I’m sure you can expect to get considerably more than that.
Keeping On Keeping On Page 54
