He paused and took a breath. "This was my fault. I brought this down on you. I'll do whatever you want, Ivy. I'll get you whatever you need. Just... try to fight. Okay? I know that look." He shook his head. "Don't give in to that."
His speech shocked me and touched me deeply. Irish... he has to be okay. My resolve hardened. "I want to go cold turkey. You'll help me?"
"Anything."
"Then I can't stay here. I want to go home."
◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙
Bill caught us passing through the bar. I found the clothes that Nella brought for me and quickly changed while he spoke quietly with Theo. Part of me was hoping to put Bill off. The other part wanted to get our chat over with.
Some of the club was present, scowling into mugs of beer, exhaustion evident on their faces. Bars, his bandage already dirty. Gunner, both eyes black and blue, a broken nose bandaged. He raised his glass when he caught my eye. Mort and Anchor occupied stools as well.
"Calling an informal meeting," Bill told them, "And breaking tradition. Ivy will be joining us at the table."
"Can't we just talk out here?" I was never allowed in there. No one who didn't wear the colors was allowed. The thought made me vaguely uncomfortable.
"Nope." Bill walked into the back, leaving us no choice but to follow.
I took a seat next to Theo at the big dark wooden table. I'd had peeks at it, but never up close like this. The club colors were carved deep in the center - the horned devil’s skull, surrounded by a dust cloud with death’s scythe in the background. I traced the bit closest to me lightly. How old is this? It exuded club history. How many men had surrounded it through the years? I felt lucky to be there.
Theo squeezed my knee as the door closed and the men sat down.
"All right, Ivy. We need to know everything you can tell us about Viper."
The sound of his name made bile rise in my throat. "First," I said, "Have you heard anything about Irish? And where's Jester?"
Bill was trying to be as kind as he was capable , but I could read the impatience on his face. Still, he answered my questions. "Both alive. Both hospitalized. Jester got himself shot. They operated. Moron will probably have a limp the rest of his idiot life." The name-calling only told me that he was worried for his son. "As for Irish, he's out of danger but they don't know how much mobility he'll have in that arm yet." I covered my mouth. Poor fucking Irish. "They're going to live," he said, his voice a touch softer. "The rest can be dealt with." He sat back and waited for me to begin.
I told them everything I could remember. It was hard to keep the information I’d gathered in my head, but I’d tried. I told them how I’d deliberately tried to get close to Viper though I left out the gory details.
Mostly I focused on how he was creating a rift in the club; how some of the Eagles were with him, and some thought he was just plain psychotic. The Eagle’s president was away - Bill slammed a fist on the table at that fact, but indicated that I should continue.
“So, I didn’t gather whether or not the Eagle’s themselves are involved in the girl snatching that’s been going on, but, well, there’s definitely a lot of shady trading. And Viper’s scared. He’s obsessed with killing Theo but he knows he needs to run.”
“Maybe he’ll get careless,” Mort said.
I shook my head. “I wouldn’t count on that.”
Bill finally spoke. “That settles it. We ride.”
Fists banged the table. I jumped. “You ride? Where?”
“Their president is the key. Who knows how much he’s aware of. I do know he wouldn’t want his strip club treated like a fucking rape camp and run into the ground. Theo. Your prisoner. We need to find their president’s location as soon as possible.”
Theo nodded. “I’m on it.”
“Gunner, I want your ugly face with me. And Anchor. Mort, you hold down the fort. Stay on top of security. I’m giving you the authority to spend club funds as you see fit while I’m gone.”
“On it,” he said, scratching his beard.
“Bars, replace your fucking bike and get your ass out to that strip joint. Stay at the motel and watch the road. I want to know if there’s any big club movements while we’re away.”
“What about their shipments?” Bars asked. “With us scattering like this, their trucks will be getting through.”
Bill shook his head. “The maniac’s using explosives. We have to let them go.” They all stood. Bill pointed at Theo. “You get that info, and then you take care of her, got it? I wouldn’t put it past that fuck to try to get her back out of spite.” He snorted. “Hell, maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll try. Then you can snap his damn neck.” They filed out, leaving me alone with Theo.
“Where’d you hide your prisoner?” I asked.
His grin was grim. “You’re not gonna like it.”
“Where?”
“Your truck.”
Dawn had driven my truck after the bikers as they prepared their ambush. When she led Irish to safety and happened upon me, Theo found the truck empty. He bound his prisoner and after loading him up into the truck under gunfire, drove it off and left it in the woods, then returned on foot for his bike and came looking for me.
It had all just taken too long. The club was gone by the time he reached the road.
“So, he’s in the woods somewhere.” I followed Theo outside under the watchful eye of the hired security guard. Mort followed - he’d sit with me at home until Theo could return.
“That’s right. Hopefully getting eaten up by nothing bigger than the mosquitoes.” Theo swung a leg over his bike, and I climbed on behind him. We took off with Mort following. I was feeling sick - like I had the flu - but it wasn’t as awful as I was afraid it would be. Yet.
I paced my apartment after Theo dropped me off. Mort sat on my couch and flipped through the television and channels and watched me go, wearing down a path in the old carpet.
“It’s making me tired just watching you,” he said. “Sit down for a minute.” I didn’t hear him at first. I was so wrapped up inside my own head. Above all I felt bereft. I wanted Theo there with me. He promised. He swore it and he meant it and now he’s not here. “Dammit, girly, sit your ass down!”
I dropped onto the couch with a huff.
“Now I want you to listen. No one told me this back when I needed to hear it, so I’m telling you now, ‘cause I’m a nice guy.” He smirked. I tried to smile back. “You’re just detoxing. You’re not going to die. It’s gonna feel like a bad flu and its not gonna let you sleep, but you’re gonna get through it.”
I sighed and put my head in my hands. “I’m just scared,” I admitted.
“I know. It’s like the world’s ending, right?”
“Yeah. Exactly.”
“That’ll pass, too. Might take longer. But you were only on the stuff for what… two weeks? Little more?”
“I honestly have no idea how long I was there.” I tucked my feet under myself, sitting in a ball. “I don’t know. I don’t think that this… world ending feeling will pass. I’ve seen some shit, Mort. Done some shit…” I trailed off.
“Well.” His voice was gruff, obviously uncomfortable. Like a good friend, though, he didn’t back away. “Afraid I don’t have much advice there. But I’ll tell you, Theo was like a man possessed by demons. By the Devil we wear itself. Want to know what advice the old president gave me?”
I cracked a small smile. “Sure.”
“Long time ago,” he went on. “Back when I ‘saw some shit,’ as you phrased it. He said the best way to get over something was to get under someone.” He scratched his beard. “Come to think of it, that might be godawful advice. I can’t tell. Works at least temporarily, though.”
I snorted. “Thanks, I think.”
“I’d advise you to get on under me if I didn’t think Theo would wring my neck.”
“Ah,” I said, “There’s the Mort I know.”
“Well.” He passed me the remote. “Find something
that ain’t about rich old ladies.”
◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙
Crassness aside, Mort’s advice did help, although not in the way he thought.
He’d been through shit. Different shit, but shit all the same, shit that drove him to drugs on his own, and he’d survived.
I could be as tough as Mort, for sure. I didn’t even want to take the stuff in the first place.
I was sitting on the bathroom floor, back against the wall opposite the toilet, when Theo returned. It was hours and hours later - after midnight - and my stomach was rebelling. It’s a good thing, I told myself, This is just all the vile shit leaving my system. They spoke too low for me to hear them; then the front door opened and closed, and someone knocked on the bathroom door.
“Hey,” Theo said, “Can I come in?”
“It’s unlocked.” He came in looking pale and shaken. “Get what you need?” I asked.
He nodded. “The guys are on their way out.” He sat next to me with a heavy sigh and leaned his head back against the wall. “Brought back your stuff out of the truck,” he said, “Purse, phone. Lockbox under the passenger seat?”
“My gun.” He smelled clean - as if he’d showered again before coming back. I looked down at his hands and could see blood beneath his nails. I rested my head on his shoulder. “What’s the plan now?”
“We wait. Bill’s gonna drag their president home kicking and screaming if he has to. They’ll be back in two day. Three, tops.”
“Think Viper will wait that long to try something?” His name twisted in my mouth. It was like tasting something slimy and disgusting. I clenched my jaw against the nausea. I had nothing left, anyway.
“You just worry about recovering.”
We were a sorry pair - me sick and lost, him wracked with guilt. I paced restlessly when he slept, trembled at his side when he was awake. When I did manage a little sleep, he held me through the nightmares.
His presence was a comfort, but his grimaces and sympathetic looks were driving me crazy. The apartment became suffocating. I had to get out.
It was a day and a half later. The morning sun shone through the windows but the room still felt dark and gray. My stomach had settled - I had to believe the worst had passed. Truth was, the worst was what was in my head. Maybe it would never leave me. But at least I could eat again.
"I want to go see Irish in the hospital," I said when he exited the bedroom. I had woken up hours before. Sleep came a little easier but the things I saw when I closed my eyes woke me right back up.
He ran a hand through his messy dark hair. He hadn't shaved in a few days and looked every bit the scary, intimidating biker. I must be feeling better if I'm noticing how he looks. I felt the old, embarrassing blush creep into my cheeks as my eyes lingered where they shouldn't. "It isn't safe yet, especially with the Devils so spread out right now." He dug the coffee out of my cupboard.
"I don't care. I have to get out of here for a couple hours. The walls are closing in. I feel like a damn mental patient."
He considered it. He had to be feeling as stir crazy as I was. Neither of us were the type to just sit around and relax even on a good day.
"I want you armed," he said. I nodded. "Do you know how to shoot?"
"I know how to use my gun," I said. Aiming well, not panicking, not dropping the thing after firing it, those were separate issues.
"Okay." I couldn't believe he was going along, but I didn't question it. He'd brought my little safe inside, so I unlocked it and pulled the gun out.
It was a gift from my father. I thought of him as I turned it over in my hands. How different would my life be if he were alive still? I pushed that thought away.
"Ready?" Theo asked. He was wearing his cut, and his imposing figure filled the front doorway.
I tucked the gun into the back of my jeans. "Ready."
Riding with him was better than therapy. With the sun on my back and the wind in my hair, I finally felt like part of the world again. It felt... normal. Pressed against Theo's back as the world blew by, the gnawing panic in my stomach subsided for a while.
He parked in the parking garage and hooked our helmets to the bars. "No one followed us," he said. "Someone could be watching around here, though."
"What do we do if they are?"
"Well, we're out in public." We walked towards the elevators, eyes darting around. All we saw were a pair of nurses getting into a car. "I don't think they'll try anything where anyone can see."
"If you say so." The bad feeling was clawing is way back in. I started to think this trip was a bad idea.
He squeezed my shoulder. "We sent them running back out there on the road. Not the other way around. So don't worry."
"They snatched me on our home turf, remember?"
He made a low growling sound deep in his chest. "Won't happen again."
Well that was definitely reassuring, at least.
When we finally found Irish's room (after I called Dawn to ask her his real name,) we found a bodyguard sitting just outside the door.
Inside, Dawn lounged in a chair next to the bed. I gasped when I saw him - unconscious, strange mesh bandages covering the side of his head, continuing down his neck and shoulder, all the way down his arm. Tubes everywhere. Machines beeping.
"Shit," I said. "Has he been awake?"
Dawn shook her head. “He woke up when he was brought in but they're keeping him under, for now." She gave me a hug. "How're you? You look a little better." The last time I saw her, I was half comatose on the side of the road.
I nodded to where Theo stood behind me, near the door. "He's been taking care of me." She smiled knowingly.
We kept the visit short. Irish's family was arriving soon and we didn't want to be in the way. Dawn herself planned to duck out once they got there. "Maybe I'll come visit you," she said. I made her promise to get some sleep first.
Walking back to the garage, I just felt numb. Irish was going to be okay, but looking at him, it was hard to believe it. And I led them into that trap.
I did feel something, though, as I watched Theo mount his bike - a familiar yearning from before, from when we'd just met. Not for sex - I felt too weak for that, still, and didn't want to wake up and face any related demons that might be lurking in my brain. I just wanted to kiss him.
I geared up to push the impulse away. Fuck it. I could have been like Irish. I could be dead. It could still happen. Helmet still in hand, I climbed on in front of him, facing him so our knees were touching. "What's wrong?" he asked. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Worried?"
"Yes." I ran my fingertips along the coarse hair on his jaw. He leaned into my touch. There was so much unsaid between us still. The last time we'd seen each other before I was kidnapped, he rejected me, pushed me away, and I hadn't forgotten. Now, with everything he was doing, was it just because he had it in his head that it was all his fault?
"Kiss me," I said. His eyes flickered towards my lips, though his brows furrowed.
"What?"
"If you're staying around me out of guilt, well, I'm not so sick anymore. You can send a bodyguard by and get back to your manhunt." I took a deep breath. "I did say I wasn't through with you, though. I still mean it."
He turned and kissed my palm. "I don't want to hurt you. I didn't want to then, and now..."
"Shh. Don't think about it. I can't. I'm taking one minute at a time. So what about right now, Theo?"
He pulled me close as his mouth descended upon mine. His touch was so gentle, I wanted to weep. He planted soft, slow kisses on my lips, cupping the back of my head and holding me in place. I gave in to the softness of his mouth, the tenderness of his touch, throwing my arms around the back of his neck and melting against him.
He tilted my head as the kiss deepened, seeking my tongue with his. My heart raced as they danced. At first with desire, but then something else, something darker that squeezed my chest clouded my mind. I didn't realize that I was gasping until Theo p
ulled away and held me to his chest, cradling my head like a child.
"Shh. You're okay."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Do you want to go home?"
"No." My voice cracked. "I want to kill him." I blew out a breath, then another, steadying my nerves. Then I looked back up at him. The concern was plain on his face. "I want you to kiss me again."
"Ivy..."
"Quit looking at me like I'm gonna break apart. The only way over this is through it, and I want out."
Theo shook his head. "Honey, you just might be the bravest person I know, but you have to give yourself time." I scowled. "I promise I'll kiss you again, okay? Later."
"Okay."
He nudged my leg. "Now let's get out of here."
◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙
He got the call from Bill while we were waiting at a stoplight. "You're all on your way? How many, how long?"
I only picked up Theo's side of the conversation, and it didn't sound good. "Fuck. Fuck!" Someone behind us honked. I waved, indicating that he should go around us. When he honked again, I flipped him the bird.
"Tell him you'll make a trade. Tell him to put the word out that you'll hand me over. You watch how fast that fuck shows up. Just get the word out there." He paused. "We'll figure that out when we get to it. I'll figure something out." Another pause. "She's with me." Theo squeezed my knee. Then his hand tensed. "No. You can't be serious. No, Bill." He shook his head in denial. "This is wrong and its fucked up and you know it." He slammed his fist on his handlebars. “Yes, we’ll both be there.” He held the phone in a grip so tight I thought he’d crack the screen. But he slipped it away in his pocket.
"I'm afraid to ask," I said, leaning my helmeted head against his back.
"They've located Brand. The Eagle's president," he said over his shoulder. He didn't sound too thrilled by the news.
"What's that got to do with you trading yourself?"
"The guy called the strip joint as soon as he heard what's been happening. Viper's been MIA since a few days ago."
"So you're trying to lure him out."
Devil's Girl: Dust Bowl Devils MC Page 11
