by Emma Hart
“You have yourself a deal.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN – JAY
Don’t Think About Sex With Your Roommate
Working out was underrated.
The stress relief you could get from your feet slamming against a treadmill or lifting some weights or punching the ever-loving fucking shit out of a punching bag was incredible.
Georgia stood on the other side of the bag, holding it steady. I’d finished work an hour ago, but she’d volunteered to spot me when I was doing weights and come down here. I appreciated that she hadn’t asked me what was on my mind, but I had a feeling that was going to change as soon as I stopped.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to—no, wait. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to talk to her about how I’d kissed my best friend and how it’d tormented me ever since.
How we’d actively avoided each other like we hadn’t known each other for twenty years.
I’d told Sean, but he knew everything anyway. He knew about my feelings for Shelby, but Georgia knew nothing. I didn’t want to have to explain everything, because at this point, nothing could make me feel better.
I was pissed.
I was pissed that Shelby had brushed it off. I was pissed that I’d acted like a dick, that she’d pushed me, that I’d given in and kissed her when I should have walked away.
I was pissed that I wanted her so much.
And I was pissed that I was pissed about that.
It wasn’t a crime to want her the way I did. It wasn’t a crime to be unable to stop thinking about her, but it was inconvenient as fuck.
I’d been a moody bastard all day and a generally horrible person to be around. I’d spent most of it in the office clearing paperwork and sending membership renewal reminders just so I didn’t have to interact with anyone.
I stepped back from the bag and wiped my forehead with my glove. “Thanks, Georgia. I appreciate it.”
“You done now?” She stepped out around the bag.
I nodded, undoing the gloves and dropping them to the floor. I took the water she offered me with a muttered thank you and drank half of it in one gulp, then grabbed my towel from the bench at the side of the room.
“Are you all right?” She hesitantly joined me at the side of the busy room. “You haven’t seemed yourself today.”
“Just a bad day,” I reassured her. “Thanks for spotting me earlier.”
“It’s my job.” She smiled shyly.
I returned the smile, but it was tight.
“Jay, are you sure you’re okay? Is there anything I can do to help?”
Lifting my head, I shrugged and met her eyes. “I dunno. You ever kissed your best friend?”
Her mouth formed a little ‘O.’ “Oh, I, um—no. I mean, I don’t swing—neither does she.”
For the first time all day, I burst out laughing. “Your straight, male best friend.”
“Ohhh.” Her cheeks burned bright red. “Sorry. I just assumed—well, this is awkward.”
“Don’t worry about it.” My lips twitched.
“So you kissed your best friend who’s a girl?”
“Unless she changed sex overnight, yep.”
“I can see how that would be a problem.” She pulled her lip into her mouth and dragged her teeth over it.
I watched her do it and felt…nothing. Not even a twinge of attraction to the pretty girl who was sitting next to me. Absolute zilch.
I was in deep shit right now.
“I guess you’re moodier than a girl on her period because you haven’t spoken to each other since it happened?”
“You’re good.” I looked straight ahead at the people who were using the bags. “We live together, so it’s even worse.”
“Oh, snap.” She scratched her chin. “That’s definitely hard. Huh. What happened? Was it an accident? Like a drunken kiss? Or do you have feelings for her?”
“We weren’t drunk.” I decided not to complicate the story. “We had a bit of an issue, and I ended up kissing her. It was two-sided, for what it’s worth, and it’s because of my feelings for her that it happened.”
“How long have you known each other?”
“Twenty years.”
“Wow. Okay. That’s a long time.”
Slowly, I nodded. “Makes it harder, you know? It would be easier to brush it under the rug to protect our friendship, but I don’t know if I can now.”
“Do you really like her like…real feelings? Something worth acting on?
“I think I’m scared to admit the truth to myself, honestly, but I think so, yeah. It hasn’t fucking gone away, I know that much.”
Georgia leaned against the wall and blew out a breath. “Can I give you some advice?”
I waved for her to go on. “I wouldn’t be talking to you if it was unwelcome.”
“Right. Jay?” She touched my arm so I would look at her. “I don’t know her, but if it were me and someone I really cared about had feelings for me, I’d want to know. Secrets can be more destructive than the truth. If she doesn’t feel the same as you, you can both move on, even if that means you moving out, but you’ll know. You’ll be able to put it behind you.”
“I guess I know that.”
“Does she have feelings for you?”
“Not a clue. She’s not exactly the easiest person to talk to about emotion. She’s an introvert—the only thing she can express with any kind of accuracy is sarcasm.” I snorted, dropping my eyes, only to sigh again. “And her frustration at my socks not being in the laundry basket.”
Georgia laughed. “Well, you’re the one who knows her, but even if she doesn’t tell you, you have to tell her. I mean, from my perspective—if you like her, you have to go and make sure she knows that, even if she shies away from you. I’m not the best with emotion either, and we can thank my ex for that, but I’d still want someone to march in and demand we talk like something out of a romance novel.”
I groaned. “She writes those. There’s no way I could compete with the schtick she writes.”
More laughter. “Then go read one of her books and, literally, take a page out of her book.”
It was my turn to chuckle. I reached over and patted her knee. “Thanks, Georgia. I feel better now. I’m gonna go shower and see if I can hunt her down.”
She smiled. “Good luck. I expect an update tomorrow.”
I saluted her as I stood, then left to shower, my mind a little clearer than it had been before.
• • •
The apartment was empty when I returned. It felt eerily empty, like it’d been this way for hours. I dumped my gym bag down by the front door and checked the apartment room-by-room.
Her stuff was still in place in her room, so at least I knew she hadn’t done a runner.
A hot shower at work had convinced me that I needed to talk to Shelby, and it had to be now. She needed to know that the only reason I’d said her name yesterday was because I wanted more, not for her to cut it off.
She needed to know that I had real feelings for her, ones that rocked me and confused me every single time I set fucking eyes on her. She had to know that this wasn’t a joke, that there was something more than friendship here.
At least from my side.
And I wasn’t going to stop looking for her until I found her.
I quickly changed into a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt, then grabbed my phone and keys to start Mission Find Shelby.
My first stop was the library. She would sometimes work there for hours because it was quiet and nobody would bother her. I pulled into the lot and rushed inside, only to be scolded by the librarian, old Mrs. Henderson, for not walking in an orderly manner.
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” I said as I approached her desk. “Have you seen Shelby today?”
Her blue eyes glittered. “That’s quite all right, Jay, but keep it in mind.” She winked. “And no, I haven’t. Been a few days since she’s been in here, I reckon. Is everything okay?”
“Yes
, no worries. Thanks, Mrs. Henderson.”
“If she pops in this afternoon, I’ll let her know you’re looking for her.”
“Thank you.” I smiled and left, getting back into my truck and driving the few blocks to her favorite coffee shop. I had the same result there—she hadn’t been in, nobody had seen her, and they’d let her know I was looking for her, and yes, everything was fine, thank you very much.
I tried a few other places on the front where I knew she liked to work, including the bakery and the café that made her favorite sandwiches.
It didn’t escape my notice that the first few places I checked were centered around books and food.
If that didn’t sum Shelby up, I didn’t know what else would. It’d be on her tombstone one day.
Here lies Shelby Daniels, lover of books, food expert, and sarcasm connoisseur.
I shook that off and pulled up at the back of her parents’ bar. It wasn’t girls’ night, so this was a long shot, but sometimes she came here when she needed to escape. The stories of some of the punters were often jotted down into the notes on her phone, especially during tourist seasons.
According to Shelby, everyone had a life story that was worth writing. At least in their opinion—hers was a lot different. She thought they were all tooting their own horns, but that didn’t mean she didn’t always get some juicy bits.
The bar was quiet as I’d expected it to be, and her mom was behind the bar drying some glasses.
Her face lit up when she saw me. “Jay, darlin’! How are you doing?”
“I’m doing good, Lucy, thanks. You?”
“Can’t complain.” She smiled, and her face lit up the same way Shelby’s did.
Fuck. I’d be seeing her face in oil spills next.
“What can I get you?”
“Have you seen Shelby?” I leaned against the bar. “I can’t find her.”
She raised her eyebrows. “You sure she ain’t holed up in a basement somewhere finishing a book? You know she turns into a hermit crab on a deadline.”
“Deadline week was last week. I don’t need air freshener anymore.”
Lucy laughed. “Sorry, darlin’, not seen her today. You tried calling her?”
“Ah, if only. She’s avoiding me, so she won’t answer even if I did.”
“Stubborn thing. I can’t imagine where she gets it.”
“Me either,” came the dry tone of Shelby’s dad as he joined the conversation. He leaned over the bar and clapped me on the shoulder. “What’s up, son?”
“Looking for Shelby. Have you seen her?”
He shook his head. “Sorry, Jay. Not today. You do something wrong?”
“The jury is still out,” I said dryly. “I just need to talk to her. I’ll call when I find her.”
“You finally telling her you’re head over heels in love with her?” Lucy teased me, her eyes saying she knew more than she was letting on.
I smirked, tapping the side of my nose. “Well don’t tell everyone, Lucy!”
She laughed, jumping when Tom slapped her ass. “Woman, leave them alone and do something useful.”
Tom winked at me, and I left, shaking my head. I stepped to the side on the sidewalk and pulled my phone out to call Shelby on the off-chance she’d answer. I wouldn’t be that lucky because I knew she’d have her head buried in the sand right now, but I had to try.
Before I could, I had a message from Brie.
Brie: …What did you do?
I frowned and hit the reply box.
Me: What are you talking about?
I only had to wait a minute for her reply.
Brie: Sean got home from work and found Shelby camped out on our sofa. What did you do?
Shit. Of course. So fucking obvious. Why hadn’t I thought of their place?
Me: She was at yours? Is she still there?
Brie: Let me find out.
I tapped my foot as I stared at the screen, willing her to text again. It felt like forever until her name popped up once more.
Brie: Sean said yes. What did you do?
Me: Tell him I’m on my way.
Brie: I’ll meet you there, then, since nobody will tell me. Hmph.
I pocketed my keys and tore off toward my truck.
Bingo.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN – SHELBY
Seriously, Personal Space Is A Thing
Three loud knocks hammered on the door and Sean paused his game. He got up and stepped over my legs since my feet were resting on the coffee table and went to answer it.
I hummed along to “Sucker” by The Jonas Brothers as I typed. It’d been a nice afternoon, actually. My noise-canceling headphones had blocked out Sean’s shouting at the idiots he was playing some shooting game with, and he’d only side-eyed me three times for singing out loud.
It was an introvert’s match made in heaven. Socializing without talking. Perfect.
Until it wasn’t.
My headphones were pulled off my head, making me wince as my ears almost went with them. “Hey! What the—” My protest died on my tongue as my eyes found the green ones that belonged to the perpetrator.
Jay.
I licked my lips and turned to Sean, putting my computer on the table. “You said you wouldn’t tell him I was here!”
Jay’s eyebrows shot up, and he looked at Sean.
He took a step back, holding his hands in the air. “I didn’t tell him a thing, Shelbs, I swear.”
“Then who did?”
“Me!” Brie wheezed as she stumbled against the doorframe of the living room. “Phew. That was quite the run.”
“You told her?” I rounded on Sean. “You know I want some space!”
“What’s—hoo,” Brie breathed. “What’s going on?”
I covered my face with my hands. “Great. Apparently, personal space doesn’t exist anymore!”
“Hold on.” Brie held up a finger as Jay worked his jaw in frustration. “I get the impression I wasn’t supposed to tell Jay you were here.”
“Ya think?” I was almost shouting now.
“Deep breath, Shelby,” Sean said.
I took a deep breath all right, making sure he got the full extent of my annoyance in my glare.
“What is going on?” Brie demanded now that she had her breath back. “Will someone tell me why I was apparently harboring my best friend in my apartment before I ratted her out?”
I looked at the carpet, saying nothing. When Jay didn’t say anything either, Sean sighed.
“They kissed last night, and Shelby is here hiding out so she doesn’t have to face up to what happened.”
My jaw dropped. “I’m here to think!”
“For the love of God,” Jay said, finally wading into the conversation. “Shelbs, this is ridiculous. We need to talk. Come home so we can.”
“I just wanted some space.” I turned to look at him. “We don’t have that at home. I wanted to think without worrying I’d say something stupid. I’m still not at that point.”
“You can’t hide here forever. We’re going to talk about this, and we’re going to do it today.”
I stood and put my hands on my hips. “Oh, we are, are we?”
Jay squared up to me and gripped my chin in his hand. “Yes. Because you have three choices. One: come home nicely. Two: I carry you out of here on my shoulder with you kicking and screaming. Or three: we do it right here, right now, and everyone will know just how badly I want to fuck you.”
Well.
That was quite the turn of events.
“Three!” Brie piped up. “Pick—”
Sean cut her off by clamping his hand over her mouth, and I was very grateful for that.
“You wouldn’t dare carry me out of here.” I batted his hand away from my chin. “I’m not a child or a ragdoll.”
“I don’t care. We’re going to talk about this right now. You’re the one who stood in front of me last night and told me that I could tell you anything. You can tell me anything, and you’re
going to, just like I will you. But you’re leaving this apartment with me, one way or another.” His bright green gaze never budged.
A part of me wanted to see if he’d actually haul me over his shoulder. Or if he’d have the talk here.
But I wasn’t that petty.
All right, I was a little bit petty, but I had no desire to be hauled over his shoulder like I was being saved from a burning building, nor did I want to talk about what had happened in front of our friends.
I glared at him for a moment longer before I turned and packed up my laptop. I heard Brie’s “Awwww,” of despair, the nosy little shit, but I ignored it as I moved deliberately slowly.
Jay clicked his tongue.
I took my sweet-ass time wrapping my cord around my headphones.
He sighed. If he thought that was going to make me move any faster, then maybe he didn’t know me as well as I thought he did.
In fact, he was probably being as petty as I was.
After another minute, I put my phone into my purse and stood up. I shot him the widest, sweetest grin in my arsenal, and he clenched his jaw, but his lips twitched in response.
He wasn’t very good at staying mad at me.
I was far better at being the one to hold a grudge.
I stalked toward the door, and when he hadn’t moved, I turned, my hair flicking over my shoulder. “Well? Are you coming?”
“He hopes so,” Brie piped up.
Sean replaced the hand over her mouth. “Sorry.”
Jay took a deep breath and, with a shake of his head, followed me to the door. He stayed behind me the whole way down the stairs, and the only reason I had to wait was because I assumed he had his truck and I didn’t have a car.
And me starting to walk would just start another war of words.
“Get in,” he grunted, pushing the button to unlock it.
“A gentleman would open the door for me.”
“My inner gentleman is busy. He’s thinking about tossing you on the backseat and doing unspeakable things to you.”
“My inner lady is responding by flipping you off.” I yanked open the door and climbed up. I went to close the door, but Jay was standing there, and he smirked right before he slammed it shut.
He was such a jerk when he was all riled up.
