by Dan DiSorbo
BREW FACT
Official washers should be made of steel or brass and measure 2½ inches outside with a 1-inch hole inside (approximately 1/8 inch thick). Use paint or permanent marker to decorate pairs of washers and create easily distinguishable team sets.
COACH SAYS
Flipping the washer, like a horseshoe, will result in it bouncing out of control once it hits something. Instead toss it underhand with your thumb and forefinger, like a mini Frisbee, so it “sits” when it hits.
SCORING (DRINKING) METHOD
A washer that lands inside the crate earns one point.
A washer that lands inside the can earns three points.
A washer that completely misses or bounces off the box and/or touches the ground results in zero points and the shooter must drink. A foot fault also results in zero points and the shooter must drink.
At the end of each round, the losing side must drink the amount of points they lost the round by.
Just like in Horseshoes and Cornhole, points cancel each other out and only one team can score per round. For example: Team A has one washer in the can (three points) and one washer in the crate (one point) totaling four points.
Team B has one washer in the crate (one point) and one washer on the ground (zero points) totaling one point.
Team A wins the round scoring three points (four points for Team A minus one point for Team B equals three points net for Team A) and Team B must take three drinks.
The first team to get to twenty-one points wins the game. 13–0 is considered a “washout” and an automatic win. A 17-1 score is called a “whitewash” and also an automatic win.
The losing team must always finish their beers.
SECOND-TIER BEER SPORTS
Just like all sports, there are strata. For every football, there is a curling, hurling, and NHL hockey, important sports that simply don’t receive the limelight of their more well-known siblings. But now, this is their time to shine and to bask in the everlasting glory that can only come from inclusion in a few sentences on the last page of a book.
BEERATHALON:
Teams consist of four people, a wooden table, and a wooden bench. Each team member sits on the bench and must consume a full beer. Once everyone is finished, the team gets up and tosses the bench and table as far as they can. Then they sit down and do it again. First team to move fifty yards wins—and nurses their collective hernia.
BEERBALL:
Why should fans be the only ones drinking during a baseball game? No more. A game of softball or baseball is played as usual, with one addition: a full cup of beer is on each base. The runner must consume the contents of the cup before proceeding. Warning: you can hit a home run, but you won’t be very safe.
BREWSKEE-BALL:
Skee-Ball with beer. Forget the cheap plastic toys; tickets equal drinks in this hipster hobby. Since it is hard/illegal to bring brews into Chuck E. Cheese’s, look online to find local pubs that host Skee-Ball tournaments.
PARTYBALL SOCCER:
The names says it all: soccer with an empty (tap removed) plastic party ball. Same rules as regular soccer, but there’s no set field, team structure, penalties, or, really, any similarity to soccer.
COACH SAYS
All right, ladies. You’ve put in the time to learn about it. Now it’s time for you to put down the book and pick up a cup of liquid awesome. But before you do, I need to let you know a thing or two about what I like to call party fouls. Here are a few party fouls a champion should never do. Got it?
Show up empty-handed
Screw around with the music
Spill your beer
Tell the same dull story over and over again
Hand out business cards
Crop-dust through a crowded room
Clog the toilet
Fail a keg stand
Try to start a push-up contest
Have sex in someone else’s bed
Monopolize the Beer Pong table
Start a fight
Finish the last beer
Finish the last slice of pizza
Have sex with someone else’s bed
Throw up in a plant
Run out of beer
Fail to stand up
Pass out on the dance floor
Overstay your welcome
Pass out with your shoes on
Piss yourself
BEER BANTER
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
—BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
Acknowledgments
CONTRIBUTORS TO BEER AWESOMENESS:
Chris Barish, Michael Ferrari, Frank Geers, Meeko, Ryan Murphy, Porter McKinnon, Derrick Pitman, Mike Student, Tess and Mark Szamatulski at Maltose Express, Mike Volpe, Richard Taylor at TheBeerCast.com, and the National Tailgating League (Chris Dotson, Todd Hirschfeld, Colin Webb).
The authors would like to raise a toast to the entire team at Chronicle Books, especially Emily Haynes and Sarah Malarkey, to our friends at Levine Greenberg, especially Stephanie Kip Rostan and Monika Verma, and to all beer drinkers the world over (snobs not included). We couldn’t have done this without you. Cheers!
Ben would like to personally thank: the talented Michael Ferrari (MichaelPFerrari.com) and Ryan Murphy (AskRyanMurphy.com) for their hard work and funny words and my wife for her loving support and free proofreading. A special shout-out goes to mixed nuts, hot wings, any part of the pig, and conversation with old friends—all for going so damn well with a cold beer.
Dan would like to personally thank: all my beer drinking buddies (you know who you are) for the countless hours of research and development used to make this book; all the basements, bars, pubs, and breweries for putting up with our field-testing; and most of all, much love and thanks to my beautiful wife for putting up with all my shenanigans.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
BEN APPLEBAUM
Ben is an advertising creative director. As a cofounder of CollegeStories.com, he has written seriously about silly stuff, including coauthoring The Book of Beer Pong: The Official Guide to the Sport of Champions as well as Turd Ferguson & The Sausage Party: An Uncensored Guide to College Slang and Class Dismissed: 75 Outrageous, Mind-Expanding, College Exploits. His beer drinking experience dates back to his college days at Wake Forest University. He lives in Connecticut with his very tolerant wife and two daughters.
DAN DISORBO
Dan is an art director, designer, illustrator, writer, and in-house beer taster at PB&J Design, Inc. He is also the cofounder of the notorious BOMBED Beer Pong and website GetBombed.com and coauthor and illustrator of The Book of Beer Pong: The Official Guide to the Sport of Champions. He honed his diverse skill set at the University of Connecticut, and now lives in Connecticut with his amazing wife and son.
VISIT US AT OUR APPROPRIATELY NAMED WEBSITE
WWW.THEBOOKOFBEERAWESOMENESS.COM
Text copyright © 2012 by Ben Applebaum and Dan DiSorbo.
Illustrations copyright © 2012 by Dan DiSorbo.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
ISBN 978-1-4521-0501-7
Manufactured in China
Chronicle Books LLC
680 Second Street
San Francisco, California 94107
www.chroniclebooks.com
